Of Pink Hair and Spanish Flair
by BJXCBFOREVER
Summary: One's the God of Love, the other is a Love God. They're perfect together, no? A 100 theme challenge!
1. Prison

**Of Pink Hair and Spanish Flair**

**I don't own the Fairly Odd Parents. Butch Hartman does.**

**WARNING!: This series is about CupidxJuandissimo. Don't like, don't read. **

**In this series, their relationship will range from just plain friendship/on the edge of romance to them being actual lovers. **

**This particular one-shot is set during Wishology: The Exciting Middle Part. In this, they're friends on the edge of romance.**

**Word: Prison.**

…

It was pretty dark in the cell they had been put in.

Since the Eliminators had closed off the cell with a large metal blind of some sort, their view of the outside had been lost. Which _stunk _really, but, hey, what were they to do? Their wands had been taken when they were all rounded up, which meant Juandissimo had to put up without a shirt, since he'd ripped his off earlier. It was chilly in the cell, but he could put up with it, he supposed. It, after all, wasn't the worst situation he'd been in. At least he had his fellow fairies and friends with him.

Speaking of friends, where had Cupid gotten to? The God of Love had been beside him moments ago, now he was gone. Could it be that the pink-haired man had escaped? No, preposterous. He would've told someone (hopefully Juandissimo) if he had found a way out. Besides, how would they escape? They were in Abracatraz! Juandissimo looked around. Fairies were holding one another, some whispering frantically. Some were just sitting there, feeling sorry for themselves. Poor dears…

Juandissimo gave the cell another look. The fairies were all bunched up, so Cupid could be anywhere in there. Why hadn't he said anything anyway? Something like 'I'm just going to go and sit down' would've been nice. Juandissimo calmed himself. He didn't control Cupid. Cupid was a God.

"Oh, Juandissimo!"

Juandissimo turned, hoping it was Cupid. But the voice was different and, suddenly, Juandissimo had a blond-haired Wanda attached to his arm. "Blonda?"

Wanda's identical (yet somewhat hotter) sister let out tears and Juandissimo had a hunch that they were fake. She was an actress, after all.

He would admit that he had once had eyes for Wanda's sister. He _knew _she had eyes for him. Whenever he visited Wanda at her home, Blonda would give him a smirk - a smirk _he _used on Wanda and other pretty fairies - and he knew exactly why. Plus, considering he had his shirt off right about now, it would only make sense that she would rush over.

Blonda was talking, yet Juandissimo couldn't hear her. It wasn't that he'd suddenly gone deaf (dear Lord, he hoped not), but he just didn't concentrate on her. He tried to, but he couldn't. What was _wrong _with him? He used to flirt. He was slightly ashamed to admit that he flirted with both Wanda and her sister. He couldn't help it. It was in his bones. But his flirting with Blonda had stopped a while ago. It was…Oh, God, it was after Fairy Idol. After he had been kicked off. Blonda had been there but so had…Cupid. Cupid had gotten kicked off too and, after they had been (quite literally) pulled off the show, they had sat together outside and they had talked. Just about random things, really. Past things. Things that might happen. Random things. It'd been a nice conversation, nonetheless. He'd learned a little bit about the God. That was the beginning. That was when he started to consider Cupid a friend. Before, Cupid had just been an acquaintance. He used to go to Cupid for love arrows that he wanted to use on Wanda, but the God always refused him. A million times Cupid had explained to Juandissimo that Cosmo and Wanda were in love and that was that. He didn't really listen.

Anyway, Juandissimo hadn't talked to Blonda that much since Fairy Idol. She tried to talk to him, but she wouldn't get the 'right' response back. He would talk to her, of course, but then he would zoom off to 'Señor Cupid'. This continued until, eventually, Juandissimo just didn't pay any mind to her. He hadn't even noticed her in the cell until now! Dear Lord, what was _wrong with him?_ He just wasn't focused. Juandissimo wasn't focused on Blonda because something else was on his mind. Where in the world was Cupid? Juandissimo looked around. Blonda didn't notice.

_Cupid, Cupid, Cupid, Cupid, Cupid, Cupid, Cupid, Cupid, Cupid, Cupid, Cupid, Cupid…_

Blonda was saying something about his body (which he, admittedly, had half-listened to) but he let the words go.

_Cupid, Cupid, Cupid, Cupid, Cupid, Cupid, Cupid, Cupid, Cupid, Cupid, Cupid, Cupid…Cupid!_

There. He saw it. That familiar head of pink hair that was too bright to be Wanda. There he was, in the corner. The God of Love himself. Cupid was sitting there on his own, knees to his chest and elbows on top of them; head in his hands. Juandissimo's eyebrows rose. Cupid actually looked…kinda pathetic. Juandissimo kept his eyes on the pink-haired God as he turned his head to address Blonda properly. He held up an index finger, "Uh, uno momento, por favor."

Blonda's mouth finally closed as Juandissimo easily slid his arm out of her grip and floated over to Cupid. Blonda frowned. Cupid? _Again?_

Juandissimo approached Cupid, almost hesitantly. He tried to find something to say. English or Spanish, wouldn't matter either way. When he couldn't find anything to say, he took the option of just sitting down next to the God. As Juandissimo opened his mouth, Cupid spoke, "We're gonna be in here forever, aren't we?"

That stopped Juandissimo in his tracks. He didn't know what the Eliminators were planning to do with them. They'd taken their magic. Maybe they would just feed them all to the Darkness. Juandissimo looked at Cupid. Cupid had been so confident when they were first put in here. He'd marched right up to the bars and told an Eliminator that love always prevails over darkness. But now, Cupid just sat in the corner, looking like a stray animal that had been kicked once too many times. Juandissimo's brow furrowed in pity. Poor thing was losing hope.

"What'll happen to Fairy World now?" Cupid continued. "My mansion, all my hard work," He gestured to Juandissimo. "_your home. _And what about _Valentine's Day?! _What'll it do without _me?" _He put his hands to his chest. "I'm _Cupid, _for Pete's sake!" He sighed through his nose and returned his elbows to his knees, his head back in his hands. "Oh, poop. This is the worst day _ever…" _He hid his face in his hands.

Juandissimo had never seen this kind of behaviour from Cupid before. He expected Cupid to be trying to escape, not just give up. Juandissimo knew Cupid wasn't crying, but the Spanish fairy could practically sense the tears that were probably stinging the back of Cupid's eyes.

Juandissimo smiled gently, then wrapped an arm around Cupid's shoulders. Cupid peeked through his fingers. "Cupid, mi amigo, do not panic. We shall get out of here soon."

"Oh, please." Cupid said, crossing his arms. "Do you _know _where we are?"

"Si, but, Señor, remember that Timmy Turner is the Chosen One."

Cupid frowned. Oh, of course. Timmy Turner, the boy who'd almost _killed him. _Not that Cupid was still angry about that. Bitter, maybe, but he wasn't all that furious with him. Timmy had fixed everything after all. Still, the God of Love didn't like remembering that little incident.

Juandissimo waited for Cupid to reply. Cupid just sat, a frown on his face. Obviously, the God was not convinced. Juandissimo smirked. "Do not _worry, _my pink-haired friend," He twirled an index finger around the curl in Cupid's hair and Cupid winced slightly. "I promise we shall get out of here soon."

Cupid raised an eyebrow. Since when did Juandissimo make promises? Still, it was nice to know that the Spanish fairy was at least trying to comfort him. Cupid smiled. "Thanks."

Juandissimo smiled back. Their smiles faded when the metal blind was brought back up. Cupid stared at it, then smiled again and looked at Juandissimo. "Wow, you really stand up to your promises! How'd you do that?"

Juandissimo stared at the bars to their cell. "Uh…I didn't."

Cupid's smile dropped. An Eliminator stepped into view and the fairies all cowered. Out of instinct, Cupid grabbed Juandissimo's arm. Cupid frowned at him. "You know, you could've let me believe it for a few more seconds."

The Eliminator held up a fist, which the fairies could see held a wand.

"Hey!" A fairy in the back of the crowd shouted. "That's my wand!"

Everyone ignored him. The golden star on the wand began to glow and, suddenly, everyone in the cell was wearing black-and-white-striped prison clothing. Their crowns were swapped with matching hats. Cupid's eyebrows shot up. "But…I don't look _good _in black and _white!_"

The bars of their cell were suddenly lifted up and the Eliminator reached in. Juandissimo shut his eyes. He didn't want to know what the Eliminator was planning to do with them. The smell of oil and metal passed his nose and he heard someone call out.

"Hey! They got Cupid!"

Juandissimo's eyes shot open and he looked to the Eliminator. Sure enough, in its free hand, it was clutching Cupid by the legs, holding him upside-down. Cupid tried to pull himself free of the Eliminator's grip. "Let me go! I will _ruin _your _love life!_"

"Hey, man, we're robots," The Eliminator said in a Canadian accent. "We don't have love lives."

Cupid frowned. Stupid robots…They _actually _thought Cupid's arrows won't effect them? _Cute_.

Juandissimo squeezed his fist shut. Somehow, seeing Cupid being mistreated like that made him angry. As angry as he was when he lost Wanda to Cosmo. No, seriously, _what was wrong with him?_

Juandissimo pointed at the robot. "Fairies, _attack!_"

There was silence. No fairies attacked like they had at M.A.R.F. They were too scared, too cowardly to fight this time. Poor things. Juandissimo paused, then yelled out as another Eliminator appeared and grabbed him in the same manner as they had grabbed Cupid. The Eliminators turned and carried the pink-haired God and Spanish fairy off as Eliminators grabbed other fairies and carried them off as well.

"Well," Cupid said. "Thanks for trying."

Juandissimo offered the God a little smile as the Eliminators threw them into the yard and ordered them to push a large, wooden wheel; which they later discovered powered a giant record player - the source of depressing music.

…

**Author's note: **

**The first of many one-shots to come.**

**I've collected these words from my family and friends (with the strict rules that they have to be kid-friendly and they can't be a name of something e.g. name of a person, show, restaurant etc.). I've never done one of these 100-theme things before, so bear with me. **

**I got inspired because my DVD of Wishology finally arrived the other day and I've been watching it a helluva lot.**

**I must admit, my favourite part of Wishology (except the café scene with Cupid and Juandissimo and the part where the Eliminators sing 'Get Timmy Turner') was the part where they're pushing the wheel and Cupid asks what would happen if they stopped, then the depressing music stops. It's such a small joke, but it gets me every time…and I also like the fact that Cupid is _finally _wearing trousers…not that I minded his old look.**

**And I know that Blonda didn't appear in Wishology, but I just thought it'd be kinda cool if Juandissimo completely ignored her because Cupid's upset. No offence to anyone who likes Juandissimo and Blonda together, but I just despise that pairing. **

**It's kind of a theory of mine that Cupid and Juandissimo's friendship started around Fairy Idol, after they got kicked off. I haven't seen Fairy Idol in years, but I remember that they got pulled off by a…hook? and Cupid says that the people have no taste. **

**I'm sure, sometimes, Cupid has lil' breakdowns. He can't be _that _preppy all the time, right?**

**Well, my gabbling aside, I hope you enjoyed this first one-shot. :D **


	2. Unrequited

**Of Pink Hair and Spanish Flair**

**I don't own the Fairly Odd Parents. Butch Hartman does.**

**WARNING!: This series is about CupidxJuandissimo. Don't like, don't read.**

**Relationship: Friends, unrequited love.**

**Word: Unrequited.**

…

If there was one thing Cupid despised, it was unrequited love.

…Shouldn't that mean he hated himself right now?

Cupid sat in a red, heart-shaped chair (a chair one of his cherubs would usually sit in); watching a TV screen. In his hands, he held a love arrow. It was cold in the room, but he didn't really take any notice. No one else was there, which was exactly what Cupid had wanted.

Unrequited love was such a sad thing. Cupid had seen it too many times in his life (mostly from kids, like Timmy Turner or Tootie) and it always made him feel…well, sad. But he was the God of Love. He helped the people who were _meant to be _fall in love. The ones who sat on park benches, feeling sorry for themselves, just lost the Game of Love. Right now, it was Cupid who was the loser. _Cupid! Of all people!_

The God of Love looked down at the love arrow in his hands. If a person were to be struck with an arrow that had another person's name on it, the target would fall in love with whosever name was on that arrow. Simple and yet so complicated. So tempting…

Cupid looked back up at the screen. It would only take a moment or two. Just poof down there, shoot an arrow, poof back and then wait for his new lover to arrive (which, he was sure, would only take seconds). Then they would be together. No other fairies to bother them. He would be completely in love with Cupid and no other person. But he knew that was wrong. Even though Da Rules clearly stated that Cupid was in charge of love (which was why no other fairy could tamper with it), Cupid knew that that wasn't allowed. If someone was in love, it wasn't completely up to Cupid to mess with their emotions. He couldn't suddenly say that they were not meant to be and hit them with a random love arrow. That wasn't how his job worked. He _helped _people fall in love, not _made _them.

"_This will be your job from now on, Cupid. You were _born _for this job. You'll do _great!" was what his mother had said when she handed him his first arrow and told him about being the God of Love. Cupid was only the equivalent of a five-year-old child when she told him how important this job would be. He remembered the archery lessons, the constant doting by his parents, the pressure they were (unintentionally) putting on him.

Cupid's grip tightened on the arrow. It was so tempting to snap this thing in half. After all, it was totally unnecessary now. He didn't need to get shot with an arrow. The feelings had already developed, but they were one-sided - unrequited.

Pfft. Unrequited. _Pfft._

It would practically kill him if, next Valentine's Day, he had to shoot someone with this arrow. Of course, then again, love was what powered him, so wouldn't that give him _more _energy? Oh, _the irony._

Cupid didn't understand how he couldn't feel the same. Cupid was practically love in a physical form! He _glowed _with _love! _Besides, who could ever be a better lover then Cupid himself? No one. Several women in Fairy World wished to date Cupid and he hadn't even shot them with love arrows. Cupid could make _him _feel the same way they did, if he wanted.

And, _oh boy, did he want to._

"_It would be wrong, Cupid. You know that. Those arrows are not for your own gain." _His mother's words echoed in his head. Cupid looked down at the arrow again and sighed through his nose.

"Boss?"

Cupid straightened himself and turned the swivel chair around. One of his cherubs floated in the doorway. "Are you ok, sir?"

Cupid glanced at the arrow again then sighed and stood up, moving to the doorway. "Get me a latte, I need to lay down. Oh, and put this one with the others." He handed the cherub the arrow he'd been holding.

"Yes, sir." The cherub muttered, taking the arrow in both hands and watching Cupid leave. The little cherub looked at the name engraved on the side of the arrow.

_Juandissimo._

…

**Author's note:**

**This one…is shorter…and sadder. *Sigh***

**I'm sure, sometimes, it can be depressing being Cupid. He spends an entire day helping people fall in love, then returns home only to remind himself that he's still single. Of course, then again, he seems to enjoy his solitude. **

**I need to write some romance between these two, seriously. This one's…kinda romantic…?**

**In most of the CupidxJuandissimo fan art and fanfiction I've seen, it's implied that Cupid shot Juandissimo with a love arrow. Now, I know Cupid can be greedy sometimes, but he knows right from wrong. Plus, Juandissimo's still going after Wanda and, if Cupid _did _hit him with a love arrow, don't you think he'd only be in love with Cupid?**

**RANDOM FACT!: In the episode Love Struck, Cupid says (or, at least, implies) that whoever is struck with the love arrow that has Timmy's name on it will fall for Timmy. However, at the end of the episode, when Timmy sees how upset Tootie is, Timmy strikes himself with it and falls for Tootie. Uh…shouldn't he have fallen in love with himself? :D**


	3. Tube

**Of Pink Hair and Spanish Flair**

**I don't own the Fairly Odd Parents. Butch Hartman does.**

**WARNING!: This series is about CupidxJuandissimo. Don't like, don't read.**

**Relationship: Lovers.**

**Word: Tube.**

…

The moon was starting to rise into the sky, replacing the sun, and Timmy Turner was preparing for bed. As he removed his hat, he frowned. Yet another boring day with boring school and boring homework. Timmy sighed. It made it worst that Trixie had, once again, rejected him in front of the entire cafeteria. Sometimes, he didn't know why he bothered.

"Aw, don't worry, sweetie," Wanda spoke up, poofing out of the fish bowl. "Tomorrow will be better."

Timmy sighed. "Yeah, right…" He grumbled. "I got _another _F from Mr. Crocker, Francis stole my hat and, worst of all, Trixie totally _embarrassed _me in front the whole _school._" Timmy sat on the edge of his bed, head in his hands. "I'm _never _gonna live it down…"

Cosmo and Poof poofed into the room, frowning at the child worriedly. Wanda floated down to Timmy and sat beside him. "Aw, c'mon, Timmy. That's not true. It'll all blow over soon."

"Yeah," Cosmo added cheerfully, "then no one will think of you as a big loser! Just a slightly _smaller loser!_"

Wanda frowned at her husband and held up her wand. A zip replaced Cosmo's lips and his mouth was, quite literally, zipped up tight. Poof giggled at his parents. Wanda turned back to her godchild. Timmy spoke up again, "Trixie didn't even accept any of my gifts…"

Wanda's brow creased. Timmy had attempted to give Trixie some signs of his affections. He'd given her a crudely-drawn picture of both of them (much like the one he'd attempted to give her for Valentine's Day), a flower from his mother's rosebush and a small box of candies (which, admittedly, had been knocked out of his hands while walking in the corridor and trampled by several students, but it was still _intact!…_Kinda). Poor kid had been absolutely rejected in front of the whole cafeteria after the other popular kids had cracked jokes and had ordered their bodyguard to toss both the gifts and Timmy away. Wanda put a hand on Timmy's shoulder, "It's ok, sport. You can just try again some other day. I'm sure she likes you, really."

"Aw, that's easy for you say, Wanda," Timmy said, glancing at his fairy godmother. "You've got Cosmo _and _Juandissimo, who _both _give you nice stuff! I try to do that for Trixie and she totally rejects me!"

"Well…if it makes you feel any better, sweetie, Juandissimo hasn't given me any gifts since you stole Cupid's arrows!"

Timmy raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

Wanda nodded. Cosmo pulled the zip the opposite direction, opening his mouth. "So _that's _why it was so empty in the mailbox!"

Timmy tapped his chin. "That's weird. Doesn't he usually give you a gift at least, like, once a month?"

Wanda nodded. Timmy shrugged. "Maybe he's finally given up."

"Or maybe something _terrible _happened to him!" Cosmo exclaimed with an usual amount of cheeriness. Hey, the guy had tried to steal his _wife! _

Wanda frowned and pulled the zip back over to the other side, shutting his mouth.

Timmy tapped his chin once more in thought. "I wish I had some sort of magic device to let me see what Juandissimo is up to!"

Wanda and Cosmo held up their wands as the stars began to glow and Poof held up his rattle, shaking it. Timmy held his hand out. The smoke disappeared and in his hand was…a toilet paper tube? Timmy raised an eyebrow. "What the…? A _toilet paper tube? _Guys, I asked for a _magic device, _not a _toilet paper tube!_" He exclaimed, confused.

"Timmy, this isn't _just _a toilet paper tube." Wanda said, a smile on her face. "It's a cleverly disguised telescope that allows you see any area of the _universe! _Even Fairy World!"

Timmy smiled. "Cool." He put his eye to the end of the tube.

Inside, pink clouds swirled around and Timmy waited until they cleared. However, what he saw confused him. Pink and white walls covered in love hearts? Either Juandissimo redecorated his house or - "This is Cupid's house!" Timmy exclaimed. "Why is he at Cupid's house?"

Wanda shrugged. "Well, those two _have _been getting along lately. Maybe he's just hanging out there."

Timmy hummed thoughtfully. Suddenly, he heard a giggle. Timmy removed his eye from the tube. "Did you guys just giggle?"

"No, wasn't us." Cosmo said, pulling the zip back the other way.

Timmy put his eye back to the tube and turned ninety degrees to the right. The view in the tube changed, as though he had been standing in the, very pink and girly, room. "Huh? What the…?" He gaped at the sight.

There, sitting on the pink sofa, was Juandissimo and there, sitting in his lap, was Cupid. Timmy raised an eyebrow. He knew the two were close but that was a bit…_much._ Timmy continued to watch as Cupid smiled at the Spanish fairy then kissed his cheek. Timmy's eyes widened. Cupid _was _the God of Love but…woah.

Juandissimo grinned and tilted Cupid's head up so that the God of Love was staring into his eyes then…oh, no, he wasn't. He _wasn't…_He…_He…_

Oh, _he DID!_

Timmy's jaw practically dropped to the floor as their lips joined in a kiss. He watched as Cupid wrapped his arms around Juandissimo's neck, pulling him closer. W…What _was _this? Juandissimo and…_Cupid? Making OUT?! _It…certainly explained why he hadn't visited Wanda in a while but…Juandissimo and _Cupid?! _

The tube dropped from Timmy's hand and rolled under his bed. Timmy trembled then began (to put it lightly) utterly freaking out. "Daaa dii duh...duh...daaa dii duh...duh…" He muttered, his body twisting and turning in forms that a young boy's body shouldn't normally be able to shift in.

Cosmo and Wanda raised their eyebrows. "Timmy?" Wanda asked. "What did you see?"

"Was he with a new girlfriend?" Cosmo added.

Well, Juandissimo had certainly been with someone. Just, uh, not a _girl._

Timmy didn't respond to either of them and simply laid down on his bed, trembling and waiting for sleep to come. Of course, then again, maybe only nightmares would greet him tonight…

…

**Author's note:**

**See, Timmy? This is why you shouldn't peep on people. You get scarred for _life._**

**Really, didn't your [god]mother teach you anything? Seriously.**

**Well, at least it's somewhat romantic. I think you all guessed what he was going to see after he said 'what Juandissimo is up to'. **

**This took quite a while to think up. I really couldn't think of what to write about 'Tube', which is a word I received from my younger-older brother (I'm the youngest of three and both my siblings are boys so, I guess, I got this from the 'middle child').**

**I think this one-shot proves that, yes, Cupid did forgive Juandissimo after 'Live for the Chase'. I might write _how _Juandissimo got him to forgive him, I dunno. Should I?**

**Ugh. First time writing for Cosmo, Timmy and Poof. I think I did…ok…?**

***Clears throat, then looks around* Hmm… *Picks up tube then looks into it and, after a few moments, grins***


	4. Hair

**Of Pink Hair and Spanish Flair**

**I don't own the Fairly Odd Parents. Butch Hartman does.**

**WARNING!: This series is about CupidxJuandissimo. Don't like, don't read.**

**Relationship: Lovers.**

**Word: Hair**

…

A fetish for pink hair was odd, but Juandissimo could swear he was developing it.

One morning, when he woke up, he rolled on to his side. Cupid was still asleep, dressed in white pyjamas decorated with red and pink hearts. It wasn't all that normal for Juandissimo to wake up first. Cupid always insisted he had a busy schedule, therefore had to wake up early. Maybe Cupid forgot to set his alarm clock. Juandissimo took a glance at the love heart clock on Cupid's bedside table. It ticked away innocently. Juandissimo looked back to Cupid and smiled gently, keeping his eyes on his lover - or, more accurately, his hair.

Cupid always put a curler into his hair before bed and Juandissimo couldn't help but be reminded of Wanda. She used to do the same and she probably still did.

Juandissimo didn't quite know what it was about Cupid's hair he particularly liked. Perhaps it was the bright shade of pink or maybe just the style…No, he was pretty sure it was the pink colour. But what it was about the colour he found so darn fascinating, he didn't know. Cupid's shade was different then Wanda's. Cupid's was more like bubblegum or cotton candy. Wanda's was…well, winter. That's how she had put it anyway. Juandissimo didn't quite understand why they called them by the seasons and he couldn't remember if Cupid called himself a summer or a spring. Oh, well. His hair was nice and pink.

This little 'fetish' hadn't started with Wanda or Cupid. Ever since kindergarten, Juandissimo had been friends with pink-haired magical creatures; be they fairies, elves or sprites. Come to think of it, he didn't think he'd ever seen Cupid at school. He'd have to ask his lover about that later. Anyway, Juandissimo was sure it wasn't the hair that he had liked when he was a child, but, thinking back, he remembered he was friends with a lot of pink-haired people. As he grew up, the pink hair returned but this time on beautiful women that he had fun flirting with. One of them had been Wanda and everyone knows how _that _turned out. After Wanda, he'd been seen with a few pink-haired people - all of them women. They hadn't been dating, but they were just his 'fans'. Then it'd been Cupid.

Since almost every fairy in Fairy World had a hunch that Juandissimo liked pink hair, no one was really surprised when they often saw him with Cupid. After all, who was 'pinker' then Cupid? Pink hair, pink suit, pink mansion. Even the curler he put in his hair was pink! What they were surprised at was the fact that Juandissimo was hanging around a _male _for once. Looking back, Juandissimo saw that no, there hadn't been many pink-haired males. Maybe one or two who had inherited the pink hair from a past family member or had dyed it. Juandissimo knew that Cupid's hair colour was natural. Like most other magical creatures, he had just inherited his hair colour from a family member.

Juandissimo frowned and looked away from Cupid. He hadn't met any other member of Cupid's family. Cupid mentioned his mother sometimes, about how protective she could be of him, but that was about it. Cupid hadn't met any members of Juandissimo's family, save for Juandissimo himself (obviously). That would have to happen sometime. Sometime, perhaps, _after _Fairy World found out about it; which, admittedly, hadn't happened yet.

Juandissimo looked at Cupid again. For now, this pink-haired wonder being his lover was their little secret. Juandissimo smirked at the idea and gently stroked Cupid's pink hair with the back of his index finger.

"Why're you staring at me?"

Juandissimo snapped back to reality. During his thoughts, Cupid had opened one eye and began staring at him with one eyebrow raised. Cupid was not a morning person - not until he had his coffee. Juandissimo opened his mouth to reply, but Cupid suddenly shot up; both eyes open. "What _time _is it?!" He grabbed his alarm clock and his eyes, quite literally, shot out of his head. "Why didn't this go _off?!" _He turned to Juandissimo. "Why didn't you _wake me?!"_

Before Juandissimo could reply, Cupid threw the blanket off and jumped off the bed. He tossed open the doors to his closet, grabbing his suit, bow tie and a diaper; at the same time as trying to get his pyjama shirt off. Juandissimo just blinked as Cupid got his white shirt on and tied his tie frantically. Honestly, magic was _wasted _on this man…

As he slipped on his coat, Cupid exclaimed, "I'll see you later! I'm late!" and zipped out of the door in a pink blur.

Juandissimo blinked twice. His eyes became half-lidded, "Perhaps I should tell him he still has the curler in his hair…"

…

**Author's note:**

**Since getting back into Fairly Odd Parents and becoming a fan of CupidxJuandissimo, I've heard quite a few jokes about Juandissimo supposed love for pink hair. I've giggled at, at least, all of them because they are quite good. **

**In my mind, when Cupid was little, he had a hair style like Cosmo's and Timmy's. Why? In Love Struck, when he began getting weak, his hair flopped down into the style that Cosmo and Timmy have their hair and I thought it looked kinda good on him. I know that, in Poof's Playdate, when he's turned into a baby, he still has his own hair style but, hey, Juandissimo still has his ponytail and - judging by Poof's hair (literally, _hair)_ - I doubt that's what he really looked like as a baby. Anyway, I think that, as Cupid got a bit older, he began curling his hair. Plus, when Timmy's or Cosmo's hair gets blown in the wind, they kinda get Cupid's haircut. *Shrugs***

**I forgot to mention before that these one-shots don't happen in chronological order. That's why I always mention, at the beginning, whether they're lovers or friends. **

**Since you guys obviously want me to write a sequel to Live for the Chase, I will. And I…have written the beginning. I kinda know what's going to happen now, so, hopefully, it'll be posted sometime soon. **

**My DVD of series six (volume one, which is Fairly Odd Baby to Poof's Playdate) _finally _arrived today and I've been happily grinning my face off while watching it. Why? _In Fairly Odd Baby, Cupid jumps into Juandissimo's arms and Juandissimo has his hand on Cupid's butt for about a second. Seriously, look up a screenshot of that moment. Series six has _so much _CupidxJuandissimo! Makes me so happy…_**

**QUESTION TIME!: Does anyone know any good songs for CupidxJuandissimo? I'm at a total loss for a good song for them and I need something to listen to while I'm writing fluff. Right now, I just listen to random songs on my ipod. Thanks. :D**


	5. Love

**Of Pink Hair and Spanish Flair**

**I don't own Fairly Odd Parents. Butch Hartman does.**

**WARNING!: This series contains CupidxJuandissimo. Don't like, don't read.**

**Relationship: Lovers.**

**Word: Love.**

…

Juandissimo, in all honestly, wasn't sure whether he _loved _Cupid or not.

He certainly had strong feelings for him, that was for sure. Strong enough to sleep in the same bed as him when he slept around Cupid's house. Strong enough to, sometimes, hold him while they slept. Strong enough to _kiss him. _Too weak, however, to actually tell him or go out in public and show everyone that they were a couple or introduce him to his family. Seriously, all three of those things needed to happen soon. Cupid was still doubting his affections slightly after Timmy Turner stole his arrows and Wanda fell in love with Juandissimo. Those magic three words would dissolve any doubt Cupid may still have in his head. But it was difficult to say them.

Juandissimo didn't understand why it was so difficult. He hadn't had a problem with Wanda. Somehow, Cupid was different.

Juandissimo was a natural born romantic. He flirted without fear. He'd told women that he loved them and - Wait. Maybe _that _was the problem. He'd told _women _that he loved them. Cupid wasn't a woman. Cupid was a _man. _And it wasn't usual for Juandissimo to have such feelings for a man. He liked señoritas, not señors. Except Cupid. Cupid was an exception.

Admittedly, he knew a lot more about Cupid then he did his other male companions. He knew about the curler Cupid put in his hair every night, he knew about the love heart-shaped birthmark on Cupid's right hip, he knew that Cupid's neck was sensitive (particularly the part where it connected to his shoulders) and he knew that Cupid was severely cranky in the morning unless he had a drink of coffee (which is what a cherub had first told him on the first night he'd ever stayed around Cupid's house. He found it to be true - _the hard way_). Cupid was his lover, he was _supposed _to know this stuff. He was also supposed to tell him that he loved him. But it was difficult for some reason.

Besides, did he really _need _to tell him? Cupid was the God of Love! He _sensed _these things. Surely, it would be ok if he just shut up about his feelings for Cupid and just let him sense them…

No. It wouldn't be ok. Cupid might be able to sense the feelings, but it was still nice to be reassured - it was nice to hear the words escape the Spanish fairy's mouth. You know, if he ever said them.

Juandissimo had almost attempted twice before. He'd told Cupid there was something he needed to say and, when Cupid put down his coffee mug and stared at him, the Spanish fairy suddenly lost his train of thought. Which. Wasn't. _Normal. _It had happened both times and both times he'd made some sort of excuse, leaving a very confused Cupid behind as he zipped off somewhere completely different to the place he told the God of Love he needed to go.

He blamed it on emotions. Stupid emotions.

And that was why, Juandissimo believed, he couldn't tell Cupid he loved him. Because he didn't. That must be the reason! Juandissimo was a fairy of honesty and he was especially honest to his lovers, admirers and crushes. If he _couldn't _tell Cupid he loved him, then that obviously meant he didn't love him. Right? Si. Just a very strong crush, that was all.

So this time, as Juandissimo floated into the living room - where Cupid sat in his favourite armchair with a cup of coffee and a good book (a romance novel, obviously) - he simply waited until Cupid put down his coffee cup, then floated over to him. Cupid had just begun to look from the lovey-dovey stuff in the novel (honestly, the couple was about to _kiss! So _not a good time to be interrupted) when Juandissimo picked him up. Cupid's eyes widened in surprise and briefly wondered where he was going to be carried to, but Juandissimo didn't go anywhere. He simply sat down in Cupid's seat and placed Cupid on his lap, wrapping an arm around his waist to make sure he didn't fall off. There was a brief pause before Cupid looked at the smiling fairy and raised an eyebrow. "What's gotten into you?"

"Nothing, mi amor." he replied smoothly.

There. There it was. _Amor. _That. Meant. _Love. _

Cupid smiled. "If you wanted to cuddle, you could've just said so, you know." So Cupid snuggled closer and went back to reading while Juandissimo gently smiled into the God of Love's hair. As Cupid turned the page in his book, Juandissimo muttered in his ear, "Me gustas, Cupido."

"I don't know what you just said, but I'm sure it's Spanish for something…I'm just going to assume you said something about my hair."

…

"Ugh. That's _disgusting._" the Anti-Cupid muttered, sitting in _his _favourite armchair with a cup of tea. In front of him was a blue, swirly portal with the image of his counterpart and that stupid fairy cuddling inside.

Yuck. Love. The Anti-Cupid hated love. He hated love and loved hate. He particularly hated his counterpart. Girly, pink, diaper-wearing ninny… "Honestly," Anti-Cupid said. "what on _earth _does he see in that stupid…_fairy! _He's not even attractive. I've seen _bugs _sexier then him."

"Sexier then who, Anti-Cupid?"

Anti-Cupid sighed irritably as the door at the other end of the room opened. "Anti-Juandissimo," he greeted the best he could.

Anti-Juandissimo was less…well, sexy then his fairy counterpart. He was thin instead of being muscular and had unhealthy hair (which, admittedly, was actually kinda praised in Anti-Fairy World) instead of the well-kept ponytail Juandissimo had. And that sleeveless shirt wasn't doing his thin body any justice…Plus, he wasn't even _Spanish! _Anti-Juandissimo floated over to Anti-Cupid's side. "Oooh! Whatcha _watching?"_

Anti-Cupid scowled. "Our counterparts."

"Ooh!" Anti-Juandissimo exclaimed again. Anti-Cupid winced. "Is the pink one me?"

Anti-Cupid rolled his eyes, "No, you Italian twit! That's _my _counterpart!"

"Oh…" Anti-Juandissimo muttered and he actually sounded disappointed.

Anti-Cupid sent a palm to his forehead. Honestly, why did Cupid get the smart Juandissimo? "Don't you have something better to do? Like…I dunno…learn how to spell your name?"

"I know how to spell my name!" Anti-Juandissimo insisted. "But…"

"But what? You always miss out an s? Oh, wait, let me guess…You miss out the J!"

"No." Anti-Juandissimo muttered. "I just…"

"Just what?"

"…missed you…"

Anti-Cupid cringed. Anti-Juandissimo believed that, because their counterparts were in a committed relationship, he had to live with Anti-Cupid. He also assumed he and Anti-Cupid were (get ready to throw up your lunch)…dating! Ugh! The very idea made Anti-Cupid sick! Love was Cupid's thing! Hate was Anti-Cupid's! Wait…Hate. Anti-Cupid's head snapped up. He grinned, displaying his sharp teeth, and grabbed the quiver that held his hate arrows. He lifted one out and held it in both hands. "Maybe…this could _conveniently _find it's way into the backsides of those _bozos _and I'll be free of Anti-Juandissimo forever…That and I won't have to witness _this" _He scowled at the couple in the swirly portal. "whenever I check for more couples to _destroy." _

Anti-Juandissimo gasped. "You can't do that, Anti-Cupid!"

"And why not?"

"Because that's wrong! You shouldn't mess with them like that!"

"…Really? You live with a guy who spreads hate for a living and you _only _speak up when I threaten _our _counterparts?" He placed his hands on his hips. "Are you trying to tell me something?"

Anti-Juandissimo scratched the back of his ear. "I'm just saying…"

"Well, don't." Anti-Cupid snapped.

"Well…they kinda make a good couple…"

"They're _us! _Just with _colour!_"

"And…?"

Anti-Cupid groaned. "Really, Anti-Juandissimo, you can't be serious. You actually _like _seeing them together?"

"Yes…"

There was a brief silence before Anti-Cupid snapped, "Disgusting. Really, are you _trying _to make it sound like you have romantic -" He paused to gag. "- _feelings _for me?!"

Anti-Juandissimo simply looked away, suddenly looking nervous.

"Oh, for all things hateful!" He floated out of his chair. "_We are not dating! You understand! I'd never date you - not in a million years! Cupid may be that stupid, but I'm _not!"

Anti-Juandissimo stared at him, clearly hurt, then tears began to develop in his eyes. He burst into sobs, wetting Anti-Cupid's chair with his tears.

Anti-Cupid paused and stared. He'd actually hurt Anti-Juandissimo that much? Man, that felt good! And yet…bad. Good and bad at the same time? Ugh. "Alright, fine. Shut up."

Anti-Juandissimo's wails stopped but the tears kept pouring down his face.

Anti-Cupid crossed his arms stubbornly. "Look, ok, fine. I…didn't mean what I said. I mean, if I was _desperate - _like, _super desperate - _then, yeah, maybe. But -"

"Does that mean you care about me? Huh? Do ya?" Anti-Juandissimo asked excitedly.

Anti-Cupid hesitated. "…Yes?"

"_Yay!_" Anti-Juandissimo exclaimed, all traces of tears gone, and threw his arms around Anti-Cupid, hugging him with a great deal of strength. Anti-Juandissimo wasn't as strong as Juandissimo, but still pretty tough.

Anti-Cupid struggled out of his grip, then his body began to spasm. "Gah! Good emotions! _Good emotions!"_

"I like you too, Anti-Cupid!" Anti-Juandissimo exclaimed.

"_Good emotions! Get them out! GOOD EMOTIONS!"_

…

**Author's note:**

**Yes, Cupid. Juandissimo totally commented on your hair…**

**But, no, he didn't tell Cupid he loved him. He said something similar.**

…**Ok, I need to say this. For some reason, I actually find it **_**cute **_**that Cupid is called 'Cupido' in Spanish. Why? I dunno. Just sounds kinda nice. I also find it somewhat funny that 'Señor Cupid' means 'Mister Cupid'…Pfft!**

**Now…on to my antis…**

**Anti-Cupid is a mean lil guy who often spies on couples Cupid has recently brought together just so he can make them hate each other. He's kinda forced to live with Anti-Juandissimo and constantly makes fun of him. But he gets slightly nervous and scared around Anti-Cosmo. The reason he was shouting about good emotions is because (and this is just with my version of Anti-Cupid) whenever he feels good emotions (like love, for example), he'll…kinda have a spasm and start yelling for someone to 'get them out'.**

**Anti-Juandissimo…is Italian, for some reason. He's kinda obsessed with Anti-Cupid (probably because of lack of Anti-Wanda) and likes to hug him. He's not very attractive nor smart and thinks what Anti-Cupid does (makes people hate each other) is kinda wrong, but he doesn't say anything. He can be kinda girly when he wants to be. He's also very excited pretty much all the time, which is a great annoyance for poor Anti-Cupid.**

**So, yeah. Not much else to say, really.**


	6. Sleep

**Of Pink Hair and Spanish Flair**

**I don't own the Fairly Odd Parents. Butch Hartman does.**

**WARNING!: This series is about CupidxJuandissimo. Don't like, don't read.**

**Relationship: Lovers.**

**Word: Sleep.**

…

"So, which side of the bed do you want?"

That was what Cupid had first said on the night Juandissimo stayed around his house - their first night as a couple. Juandissimo had blinked and asked what he'd meant. Cupid - who was stressed from a hard day's work - had just huffed and asked him again, then gestured to his large double bed (which was, unsurprisingly, very pink). "What? You thought you'd sleep in the guest room?" The God of Love had asked after Juandissimo had questioned that they were sleeping in the same bed. "Besides, what's wrong with sleeping in the same bed as me?"

"Nothing!" Juandissimo had exclaimed. Rather awkwardly, he had picked a side of the bed - the right side, closest to the door - and a very tired Cupid floated over to the left side and lifted the covers, climbing in. Once realizing Juandissimo hadn't climbed in next to him, Cupid opened one eye and patted the place next to him, "Well?"

Juandissimo floated over - dressed in a pair of boxer shorts and a sleeveless shirt - and climbed in. He had quickly warmed up to the idea of sleeping in the same bed as Cupid and he rolled onto his side, smirking at him. He had been surprised at how forward Cupid was. Usually, he was the forward one in the relationship, who would simply climb in bed with his lover and let them be surprised. This time it was Juandissimo's turn to be surprised.

Another thing Juandissimo discovered about Cupid that night was that he was rather cute when he slept. No, really. It was practically the only time Juandissimo had seen Cupid so tired - without all the energy he got from his coffee. It was certainly different. His feathery wings would flutter gently in his sleep and sometimes he would mutter to himself. His breathing was so soft and calm; his chest gently rising and falling like a slow, nonexistent beat. Sometimes, Cupid would sleep with his head on Juandissimo's chest (if he felt particularly cuddly that night), an arm thrown across the Spanish fairy's belly. That was one of the better ways to sleep, Juandissimo thought.

Cupid was no different, though. Sometimes he stayed awake a bit longer to read or plan something for Valentine's Day and he would glance at his sleeping lover. Juandissimo would usually sleep with his hair still tied up. Only a couple of times had Cupid seen Juandissimo sleep with his hair down. Normally, Juandissimo would just untie his hair in the morning, do whatever he needed to do to make it look nice, then just tie it back up. Secretly, Cupid liked it when Juandissimo's hair was down. Men with long hair…Yummy.

Juandissimo was a slightly…messier sleeper then Cupid. While Cupid often curled up and stayed in that position for most of the night, Juandissimo tended to roll onto his sides often. Luckily, though, he didn't tend to move much whenever he and Cupid were cuddling for the night and he didn't hog the covers (actually, if anything, it was Cupid who got most of the covers at night). What a nice person to sleep next to.

One particular night, as Cupid was preparing for bed, Juandissimo watched him. He wasn't surprised to know that Cupid was skinny, but not too skinny. Actually, he was rather average for a male of his age and stature. As Cupid slipped on his pyjama shirt, Juandissimo sprang up from his place on the edge of the bed and wrapped his arms around Cupid's waist, kissing his bare shoulder fondly. Cupid paused and frowned. "No, stop it. I'm not in the mood."

Juandissimo's brow creased. "Why not, mi amor?"

"One of the cherubs broke an arrow today. Do you _know _how _long _it takes to make even _one _of those things?!" There was a silence before Cupid said, "Well, I don't know either. I don't make 'em. My father's men do, then they pack them into boxes and Dad sends 'em to me. I just fuel them with the magic they need to work." Cupid did up the buttons on the front of his shirt. Cupid had several versions of the same pyjamas - one pair was white with pink and red hearts, one was red with pink and white hearts and the other was pink with red and white hearts. That night, he was wearing the red pair with pink and white hearts. Cupid unlinked Juandissimo's arms and floated tiredly over to the bathroom that was linked to his bedroom. Squirting some toothpaste onto his pink toothbrush, he began to brush his white teeth. After he'd finished and cleaned up, he turned to float out of the bathroom. However, he was surprised when Juandissimo scooped him up into his arms and carried him out. "What're you doing?"

"You are tired, mi amor. Let me carry you." Juandissimo replied, voice as smooth as butter.

Cupid yawned and let himself be carried. Juandissimo gently laid Cupid on the God of Love's side of the bed then climbed in himself. Cupid yawned and rolled over, resting his head on Juandissimo's chest. Juandissimo wrapped an arm around him, hand on the back of his head.

"Good night, Juan…"

"Buenas noches, mi amor."

…

Meanwhile, in Anti-Fairy World, things weren't as cuddly and romantic. Far from it, actually. Anti-Cupid sat up in his bed - on the _right _side of his bed. He held a book open in his hands, his dark eyes skimming the words.

With any luck, Anti-Juandissimo was asleep, though Anti-Cupid wouldn't bet his money on it. Anti-Juandissimo was so full of energy, Heavens knows how his parents ever got him to sleep.

Anti-Cupid was far too used to Anti-Juandissimo randomly appearing in his bedroom at night. The idiot still believed they were dating therefore thought they ought to share a bed when they slept. There were several times when Anti-Juandissimo would randomly pop up and lay down next to Anti-Cupid. Normally, Anti-Cupid would just poof him away or tell him to get lost. However, if he was really cranky, he would grab Anti-Juandissimo by the back of his shirt, drag him to the door and just chuck him out. Yeah, so Anti-Juandissimo cried sometimes. Big whoop. Not like Anti-Cupid cared, now did he?

Anti-Cupid didn't even look over as Anti-Juandissimo, who was suddenly kneeling beside the left side of the bed, peeked over the top of the mattress at the Anti-God. See? Popped out of nowhere. "…How do you keep your hair like that, Anti-Cupid?" He asked in a whisper, as though it was some sort of secret that he was there.

Anti-Cupid didn't lift his gaze from his book as he said, without emotion, "Go away."

…

**Author's note:**

**Anti-Cupid's probably gonna throw him out in a minute. Oh, well. Anti-Juandissimo tried.**

**I'm back to school now, so updates may be a little slow. Bloody school…!**

**While listening to some random song on my ipod, I got the image in my head of Anti-Juandissimo peeking at Anti-Cupid while he was reading in bed and asking him how he keeps his hair like that (since I doubt Anti-Cupid has a curler in his hair like Cupid does. He's too masculine for that) and Anti-Cupid just simply telling him to go away. For some reason, it made me laugh so, when I saw Sleep on my list of words, I thought I'd put the little scenario at the end. **

**I am lovin' the antis. I like comparing them to their counterparts and thinking up little scenarios with them. Tis fun. **

**Oh, yeah, and Cupid totally has a pink toothbrush. Why not? Everything else he owns is pink. :D**


	7. Broken

**Of Pink Hair and Spanish Flair**

**I don't own the Fairly Odd Parents. Butch Hartman does.**

**WARNING!: This series is about CupidxJuandissimo. Don't like, don't read.**

**Relationship: Lovers.**

**Word: Broken.**

…

Kids with godparents really would be the death of him one day.

Cupid sighed through his nose the best he could. His lungs felt like they were going to pop at any moment. The God of Love was currently in bed, weak and almost corpse-like. A bag of coffee had been strapped to his bedside, a tube leading down to his coffee mug at his side.

Another stupid kid made the stupid wish to make love go away. Cupid hated those god kids sometimes. Didn't those twerps know how to make proper wishes? Unfortunately, for the God, he didn't know who had made the wish - but he bloody wished he did. Oh, how ironic. _Wished._

Cupid coughed, then put a hand to his chest in pain. Ugh…why was it worse this time? Cupid looked up at the heart-shaped screens. Before, he had been kept alive through both his coffee and those who felt affections toward the same gender as they were. However, as he looked at the screens, he saw that no one was holding hands or kissing - not even hugs! Cupid's brow creased. "This can't be happening…" He muttered weakly. He sat back on his bed, ignoring all of the cherubs zipping around; panicking and shouting. He wanted to tell them to quieten down.

_Oh, well, _he thought bitterly. _At least Juandissimo isn't here to see this…_

When he noticed his powers beginning to fade, he had given his cherubs stern orders to keep Juandissimo out. Juandissimo cared a lot for beauty, so what would he think if he saw Cupid in such a state? He probably wouldn't want to be with him anymore. Cupid didn't want that. The God lifted a hand, watching as it began to shrivel up. He sighed through his nose. It would've probably been better if Juandissimo _was _there. Perhaps, instead of turning away, he would comfort him. Take care of him. Cupid took a glance at his coffee machine. Only a few drops left…

On earth, everything was chaos. Whoever wished love away must've really _hated _Valentine's day! That kid had created World War _III! _Little _punk…_Oh, what Cupid wouldn't do to -

"Let me through!"

Cupid paused when he heard it and groaned. Oh, what perfect timing…Of course, the cherubs had failed to keep him out.

The doors burst open and Juandissimo looked half-annoyed, half-panicked. Some cherubs were floating behind, obviously the ones who had tried to keep him out. "Mi amor!" He exclaimed, zipping over to Cupid's bedside.

Cupid groaned again. "Go away…"

"Mi amor, what's happening? Who did this?"

"Some punk and his godparent…"

Juandissimo's brow creased. Cupid looked awful (not that he was going to mention that). His skin and hair had paled a lot, too much for Juandissimo's liking. Cupid looked at him. "Go away…"

"Why, mi amor? Why would you want me to -"

"Just go. I don't want you to see me like this…"

Juandissimo frowned. Who could think of looks at this time? Well, ok, he kinda could. Oh, pah! Juandissimo held up his wand and a bucket of water appeared beside him. Juandissimo dunked a cloth into the water, wringed out most of the liquid, then placed it gently onto Cupid's forehead. "Mi amor, don't think like that."

Cupid pulled his blanket further over his chest. "Thanks…" The God gestured to the screens with a weak hand. "Look at this _mess! _Where's the _love?!_"

"Uh…" Juandissimo muttered awkwardly. "It doesn't exist any more…"

Cupid coughed, tasting the disgusting taste of bile in his throat, and sighed. The pink-haired male looked down at his coffee mug, noticing its emptiness. He watched as a trail of coffee swam down from the bag, through the tube and into his pink mug. There was a dull _drip _as the last drop of Cupid's other life source dripped out into the mug. Juandissimo bit his lip. "Hold on, amor. I'll get you more coffee." He zipped off toward the door, but Cupid held out his hand.

"Wait, Juan!" Cupid called, voice cracking. Juandissimo stopped, then looked over his shoulder. "Stay here. Please."

There was a certain urgency in Cupid's voice that made Juandissimo just want to zip over and hold him. Quite honestly, Cupid sounded a bit pathetic. Looked it, too. But one would expect that from a man who was laying on his death bed. Juandissimo floated back over to his lover's side. "But…your coffee…"

Cupid looked back at the mug and lifted it as carefully as he could. His hand shook, making the mug quake in his grasp. Drops of caffeinated goodness dribbled from the mug and, as it neared Cupid's lips, the handle slipped from his grasp. The mug fell (almost in slow motion) to the floor, shattering on impact, and a small puddle of coffee slowly developed.

"No!" Cupid exclaimed, leaning over the side of his bed; gripping the rail. Almost immediately, he went into a coughing fit.

Juandissimo cringed and patted his back. After a few more coughs, Cupid waved a hand, signalling him to stop patting. Juandissimo rushed around to the other side of the bed and stooped down, poofing up a container to try and collect the coffee in.

"Oh, forget it," Cupid said miserably. "It's gone, Juan."

Juandissimo looked up at him from where he was knelt. He stood up, staring at him confusedly. "Mi amor, I can try -"

"Juan, we all know what's going to happen now. Forget it."

Juandissimo's mouth fell open in surprise. How could Cupid ever say such a thing? Could this near-death experience he was going through possibly change his attitude in such a way? Obviously. Let's face it, death changed people. "Mi amor, do not say that!"

"_Look _at me, Juandissimo!" Cupid exclaimed, bloodshot eyes narrowing. "There's no love on earth! _None! It's done! _I'm a dead God!"

Juandissimo's brow creased. "I won't let that happen. I'll find who wished this up, amor, and I'll make them wish it all back."

"It's too late."

"It's _not!_"

The cherubs stared at them. Some had tears in their eyes because they too had heard the Spanish fairy's voice crack. Unlike Cupid, Juandissimo's voice cracking wasn't due to almost-death. One of the cherubs looked up at the large, heart-shaped metre. The arrow inside was far away from the side marked LOTS OF LOVE. The cherub's mouth fell open as the arrow…moved. "Sir."

Everyone looked up at the metre. Their eyes widened as the metre finally fell to NOTS OF LOVE. The cherubs gasped lightly and looked to their boss. Cupid held up a hand and watched as the fingers dissolved into pink dust. Cupid's legs were gone, a puddle of pink dust in their place. Limb by limb, bone by bone, Cupid's body began to dissolve. Then, in a blink of an eye, the God of Love was gone. His blanket fell to a dull pile.

Somewhere else out in the world, Cupid's father punched the TV screen they were using to check on their son. The glass smashed, falling to the floor in shards, and he didn't even care that his fist was wounded. Cupid's mother began to sob, screaming for her boy to come back. They wished they had been there with him.

In Anti-Fairy world, Anti-Cupid dropped his cup of tea and gripped his shirt with his left hand; right over his heart. His chest hurt. He'd previously been enjoying the new earth - filled with hatred and war - but now he just felt numb. He lifted a hand, staring at his trembling fingers. Anti-Juandissimo tilted his head. "Anti-Cupid? Are you ok?"

Anti-Cupid didn't answer. He stared at his hand. "Cupid's…Cupid's dead…So…What's going to happen to me…?" He cried out as pain jolted through his body and he fell to his knees.

Anti-Juandissimo rushed over. "Anti-Cupid!"

And in Fairy World, everyone in the room stared at the, now empty, bed. Some cherubs burst into tears and others bowed their heads in respect. Juandissimo simply stared at the blanket. Cupid…he'd been there just a second ago…and…

The Spanish fairy gripped the blanket and pulled it back, revealing the mess of pink dust inside Cupid's clothes. Juandissimo's eyes were locked on the single pink feather amongst the dust. He carefully picked it up with a trembling hand and stared at it.

No…No, no, no! This…This wasn't supposed to be this way! He was supposed to fix everything! He…He was supposed to find the little brat that had done this and make them un-wish everything! He was supposed to be able to hold Cupid in his arms, feel relieved that they'd cured him in time, and be able to kiss those lips…! Why wasn't it _like that?! _Why?! Why?! _WHY?!_

Juandissimo was going to _kill _that kid. He felt like it, anyway. This was all their fault.

The Spanish fairy stared at the little feather, remembering how, with its brethren, it had been one of the things to make up Cupid's wings. He remembered how those wings would flutter in Cupid's sleep or whenever he got mad at Juandissimo. While in bed, Juandissimo would stroke his wing gently and Cupid would frown, mutter about how sensitive they were, and try to flick his hand away. Those pale blue eyes were narrow in annoyance.

Juandissimo had secretly loved Cupid's eyes. They were much different to Wanda's. Cupid's eyes were a nice, pale blue. A blue that was so peaceful and loving. A blue that he would stare into as he pressed his forehead to Cupid's, making the God blush and the Spanish fairy grin.

Juandissimo closed his fist around the feather, clutching it tightly. His fist trembled. Carefully, gently, _lovingly, _he scooped as much of the dust as he could and poured it into Cupid's suit. Wrapping his arms around the clothes, Juandissimo held the suit to his chest.

Cupid was supposed to be wearing this. He was supposed to be _there_ with _Juandissimo. _Some kid had gotten between them. Little. _Punk._

Juandissimo buried his face into the part where Cupid's collarbone would've been. He breathed in the scent of chocolate, roses and…caramel? Juandissimo would've chuckled if he was bothered to. _No wonder…he was so irritable…_

Juandissimo prayed the cherubs didn't notice his shoulders shaking or the droplets running down his cheeks. The Spanish fairy's wounded heart thumped with realization and white hot fury spread throughout Juandissimo's body. There _had _been another way he could've saved Cupid.

Now, if only he had fallen in love with Cupid sooner.

…

**Author's note:**

**You know that feeling you get when you really wanna write something and then you just…can't? Yeah. I had that. I've started, like, six of these things and I just cannot finish them. But I will. I promised myself (and you) that I would finish this 100 theme challenge…thing.**

…**Wait a second. Did I just kill my all-time favourite Fairly Odd Parents character? Oh, God. I did. Sorry. **

**Haven't updated in ages and **_**this **_**is what I give you. Depressing stuff. But, hey, I did give you that sequel to 'Live for the Chase' that I promised and **_**that **_**had a **_**large **_**amount of fluff. **

**You can tell I recently watched the episode Love Struck. I saw 'Broken' on my list of words and thought, 'Idea!'.**

**Originally, this was gonna be some cliché, sappy thing about Cupid surviving because of Juandissimo's love for him and blah. But that was **_**too **_**sappy, even for me. So, Cupid died instead…Yeah.**

**I dunno what's going on with Anti-Cupid. Even though the world is full of hatred, I get the feeling that, because Cupid's dead, his counterpart would die (or at least feel weak) too.**

**Mm. By the way, yes, you **_**are **_**going to be officially introduced to Cupid's family later…Heh, so is Juandissimo :3**

**I'm gonna be honest with you guys:…I shed a tear or two writing this. Ok, I cried. Yeah. Mm-hm. Around the time Juan said it wasn't too late to save Cupid. Not the first time I've cried at my own fan fiction (or fan fiction in general) but it **_**is **_**the first time I've cried over a fan fiction about a **_**cartoon. **_**A **_**kid's cartoon. **_**Man, I feel silly. **

**Something fluffy next one-shot, I think. To get away from the depressing stuff. **


	8. Soothing

**Of Pink Hair and Spanish Flair**

**I don't own the Fairly Odd Parents. Butch Hartman does.**

**WARNING!: This series is about CupidxJuandissimo. Don't like, don't read.**

**Relationship: Lovers.**

**Word: Soothing.**

…

"Ow…Ow…Ow…_Ow…!_"

Juandissimo paused and looked up from his magazine (what? Boys could read magazines too!). Cupid limped into the room, bent over with a hand to his back. Juandissimo raised an eyebrow and tilted his head. The fact that Cupid actually had his feet on the ground was one thing to throw him off, but also because of how hurt the God looked. "Mi amor…something wrong?"

"What a stupid question." Cupid muttered. "Of course there is. My back is _killing _me and my _wings _feel like they're about to fall off! I fell asleep in one of the chairs in the bunker…"

Juandissimo's brow creased. He knew how uncomfortable those chairs were if one were to sit in them for too long. Cupid sighed miserably. "Look, I'm gonna go and lay down upstairs…" He brought his wand out of his pocket then held it up the best he could, poofing away in a puff of pink smoke; leaving behind the word 'Ouch!' in white lettering.

Juandissimo began to ponder. He'd never seen Cupid in that much pain and _that _was saying something. As the God of Love, Cupid got several little bumps and bruises on his time 'out in the field' (wounds which Juandissimo was more then glad to kiss better). The Spanish fairy thought hard.

What way could there be for Cupid not to be in anymore pain? There must be something he could do. He hated just standing (or, well, sitting) on the sidelines. Anything to sooth Cupid's pain…

Sooth…

Juandissimo's head snapped up and he smiled, clicking his fingers. He dug his hand into his pocket and pulled out his wand, then disappeared in a waft of purple smoke with the word 'Idea!' left behind.

…

"Juan, what is this?" Cupid asked as Juandissimo led him toward a door lit with a heart-shaped light.

Juandissimo smirked, holding Cupid's hand. "It is a surprise, mi amor. Something to help you with your back."

Cupid eyed him suspiciously. "Look, this is sweet, but I really just want to lay down."

"And lay down you shall."

"…You got me a bed?"

"Something like that."

Cupid raised an eyebrow as Juandissimo opened the door. Inside was a circle of candles, all coloured pale pink and giving off a soft, comforting smell. In the middle of the sweet-smelling candles was -

"A massage bed?" Cupid asked.

Sure enough, there was heavily-padded bed in the middle of the circle and - Ooh! It was _pink! _Well, that was _one _good thing that had happened that day. Cupid looked up at his lover. Juandissimo grinned. "Do you like it, amor?"

"Well, yeah. If I knew what was going on."

"I am going to heal your back," Juandissimo gently pulled him toward the bed. He held up a hand and wriggled his fingers. "with my magic fingers."

Cupid bit the inside of his lip. Don't get him wrong, he enjoyed Juandissimo's massages. But he was already in a foul mood and Juandissimo waking him up didn't help. He sighed through his nose. "Alright, fine. I'll humour you."

Juandissimo smirked. "Good. Now," He said with an unusual amount of cheeriness. "take off your suit."

Cupid crossed his arms. "I beg your pardon?"

Juandissimo poofed up a small bottle and squirted oil on to one hand, then rubbed his hands together. "Mi amor, I cannot pamper you properly if you do not take off your suit."

"You've massaged me while I wore clothes before."

"Ah," Juandissimo smiled. "But that was not when your back was hurting, now was it?"

Cupid stared for a moment, pouting, as Juandissimo simply smirked at him. Slowly and carefully, the God began to remove his coat, then untied his bow tie. He crossed his arms. "There. That's the closest to 'shirtless' you're going to get me."

"_All _of your suit, mi amor."

Cupid breathed in - as though to calm himself - and then, as carefully as he could, removed his white shirt. The Spanish fairy would've helped him, but the last time he'd gotten oil on Cupid's clothes, the God didn't talk to him for about an hour (something about ruining his favourite suit. He didn't understand. Cupid's suits were all the same!). Juandissimo stared as Cupid crossed his arms, blushing lightly. Cupid was simply average - not too muscular or too thin - and yet he made it _work. _"I'm _not _taking off the diaper. No matter how much you want me to."

"I didn't expect you to." Juandissimo gestured to the bed. "Now, lay down for me, amor."

Cupid pouted and sighed through his nose. He _really _wasn't in a good mood. Nevertheless, he walked over to the bed and climbed on. He tried to ignore the look Juandissimo was giving him - it only made him blush further. Cupid carefully lowered himself so that he was laying on his belly. He folded his arms and rested his chin on them. Juandissimo clapped his hands once, ready for the job he was about to do. Cupid glanced at him. "Look, Juan, this is really sweet, but I - ay, ay, ay, ay, ay…" He didn't get to finish his sentence (the way he wanted to, anyway) because Juandissimo had gently rubbed his shoulders with both hands. Cupid grinned, eyes crossed. His arms fell and flopped down, hanging off the end of the bed. Juandissimo smirked. Realizing his hands had stopped, Cupid frowned and looked up at him, folding his arms again. "I didn't tell you to stop."

Juandissimo chuckled. He ran an index finger down Cupid's back experimentally and the God was back into his dopey state. His wings fluttered and, for a moment, Juandissimo was worried the God would begin to float. "Happy, mi amor?"

"Yeah…" Cupid sighed happily. He shut his eyes. "Keep going…"

Juandissimo rubbed Cupid's sides, causing the God to sigh again. Some sort of flowery scent was added to the comforting scent of the candles and Cupid guessed it was coming from the oil. He could already feel the pain in his back easing as Juandissimo's hands made their way up to his shoulder blades. Why, oh, _why _hadn't he thought of this before? He had a lover like Juandissimo and he didn't think of massages before? Wow. He wouldn't admit it to anyone, but sometimes he was such an idiot.

Juandissimo's eyes went to Cupid's wings. They fluttered gently as he rubbed Cupid's shoulders. He pondered for a second and then experimentally ran his finger over one of them. Cupid's eyes flew open and his wing flapped quickly. He frowned, blushing. "Don't…They're sensitive…"

Juandissimo grinned devilishly. Well, Cupid probably shouldn't have told him _that. _Juandissimo leaned down and pressed his lips to one of the wings. It had a miniature spasm (much like Anti-Cupid and those 'good emotion spasms' of his) and Cupid shivered. "S…Stop…"

"Don't pretend you do not like it, amor." Juandissimo practically purred.

"It feels weird."

"But a good weird, no?"

Cupid didn't reply and simply pouted. After a moment or so, he muttered, "Don't touch my wings…"

Juandissimo smirked and kissed the other wing. Cupid mumbled something about not listening. "I thought this was a massage…"

"It _is._" Juandissimo replied, just before he pressed his lips to Cupid's wing.

…

A little while later, Cupid had his shirt and tie back on and he was sitting on the massage bed, legs swinging off the side. His back had never felt better. Juandissimo was busy blowing out the candles, his back to Cupid. "Juandissimo,"

"Hm?"

"You've massaged quite a few women, right?"

Juandissimo paused, wondering where this was going, and nodded. "Yes…?"

"Did you ask _them _to take off their shirts?"

Juandissimo snorted. "Mi amor, I am a fairy of modesty. Of course I didn't."

"Then…why did you get me to take off my suit?"

Juandissimo didn't respond, but Cupid could practically sense his devilish smirk. The God stopped swinging his legs and stared at him, frowning. "Juandissimo, you're such a -"

He was cut off by Juandissimo's lips.

…

**Author's note:**

**I'll let you guys finish Cupid's sentence.**

**I have a cold and my back hurts. Why should Cupid feel good when I don't? I don't have Juandissimo to help, though. I have medicine and a heat pack. **

**Eh…I tried to make it fluffy but it…didn't want to be fluffy.**

**Mm. On the subject of the last one-shot:**

**After I finish Of Pink Hair and Spanish Flair, I'll be writing another 100 theme challenge. That one will be about Anti-Cupid and Anti-Juandissimo. In that, there'll be a 'sister story' to Broken, which will show what happened to Anti-Cupid. Prepare your tissues for that one, too. It ain't happy-go-lucky. **

**In response to your question/request, Gamer girl247, I don't think I can write a sequel to it. Not because I don't want to, but just because I don't think I can take it anywhere. As far as I know, fairies can't bring people back to life, so Juan can't bring back Cupid. Plus, in Love Struck, Cupid said he'd disappear **_**forever **_**if there's no love. That may or may not imply that he can't be wished back or anything. Sorry.**

**So…yeah.**


	9. Puppies

**Of Pink Hair and Spanish Flair**

**I don't own the Fairly Odd Parents. Butch Hartman does.**

**I do, however, own Katie and Billy Katsworth. **

**WARNING!: This series is about CupidxJuandissimo. Don't like, don't read.**

**Relationship: Lovers.**

**Word: Puppies.**

…

Katie Katsworth was nothing special.

No, really.

Well, on the outside, perhaps. Honestly, there was nothing special about a girl who wore a purple hoodie, shorts, a red beanie and sneakers. On the inside, however, she had quite a secret. Not that anyone else would ever find out. Why should she let them? A secret's a secret after all. No one is supposed to know secrets unless the person wants them to. And, oh boy, this was one secret not even her parents would find out about.

Pfft. Parents. What parents? The parents that were barely ever home? Oh, yeah. Those ones. Her father was in charge of a business and her mother always had 'errands' (aka, hanging with friends and spending money). She only had her big brother, Billy. It's not like he cared either. He was as bad as that babysitter on the radio, Vicky. Billy obviously hadn't heard the rule of 'boys shouldn't hit girls'.

But that didn't matter. Not now, anyway. Not since the day that she been in her room, crying on her bed and suddenly she heard a _poof! _As she raised her head, she saw a new person in the room. Purple eyes, black hair, white shirt and black pants. Totally unfamiliar. Katie had stared at him as he smiled at her. When he'd spoken, she heard a friendly voice with a Spanish accent. "I'm Juandissimo Magnifico and I…am your _fairy godparent!"_

After that, everything started looking brighter. Juandissimo was the best. He'd sat her down and told her about 'El Rules' and about the secret she now had to keep. Katie had been absolutely thrilled to meet him. Usually, Juandissimo's disguise was a purple puppy (due to Katie's wish for a pet puppy) but he often took the form of a pen when she was at school.

Currently, Katie and Juandissimo were walking in the park; the purple canine at her heels. Katie looked around at the heart-shaped balloons and grumbled to herself. Juandissimo looked up at her. "Something wrong, mí Niña?"

"It's just that Valentine's Day is a week away and yet people are already preparing for it." Katie explained. "I don't get it."

"Ha. You should see it in Fairy World." Juandissimo smiled.

Katie's hazel eyes widened. "Really? What's it like there?"

"Mm…Very pink. There is a big parade and everything."

"With cherubs?" Katie smiled at the thought of learning about a new magical creature. "_Real _cherubs?"

"Si. Real cherubs. And it is led by -" He paused as he saw something Katie didn't. A large smile was born on his face and he bounded away. Katie paused.

"Juandissimo? Where are you going?" She ran after him, calling, "Is this some kind of fairy godparent thing?" Luckily, no one was around to hear her.

Juandissimo skidded to a halt as he passed a small, white flower. He bent down and took the stem between his teeth then pulled the flower from the ground. Satisfied, he ran off again; carrying the flower between his teeth.

As far as Katie knew, Juandissimo was single. He didn't really talk about any love interests of any kind and she'd never seen him with anyone. She'd find it a bit ironic if he was single, since he was always going on about how sexy he was. As Katie pushed through the bushes that Juandissimo had disappeared through, she paused. If Juandissimo was single then…

Who was that pink puppy he was nuzzling with?

…

Katie stared out of her bedroom window. Pink balloons were floating in the streets and some people were already purchasing chocolates. She frowned slightly. What was the point of Valentine's Day anyway? Why was there just one certain day that someone had to show their 'special someone' that they loved them? Then the ones that don't have a special someone just sit there and cry. Wow. What a great holiday…

Juandissimo poofed up beside her. "Something wrong, mi Niña?"

Katie looked at him out of the corner of her eye. She remembered earlier, when she'd seen him with that pink puppy. Puppies weren't usually pink (nor purple), so that meant that whoever Juandissimo had been nuzzling with was another shape-shifting magical creature. Well, good. It'd be weird if he wasn't dating another magical creature. "Juandissimo, do you have a 'special someone'?"

Juandissimo paused. Well, yes, he did. But if he mentioned Cupid was his special someone, would Katie use that to her advantage? Overlook the whole 'no wishing for true love' thing? "Uh…Why do you ask?"

"Cause I saw you with that pink puppy earlier." Juandissimo froze as she continued. "Is it anyone I know? She seemed nice."

Juandissimo stared at her. _He, _the Spanish fairy corrected mentally, _he seemed nice. _"Uh…No. Probably not."

"Aw, come on." Katie said, turning to him. "I wanna meet her."

Juandissimo breathed in. Well, if Katie disapproved of what he was just about to say then…well, that would be her loss. "No. You want to meet _him._"

Katie paused and stared. "Him? You're dating another guy?"

Juandissimo nodded. "…If it means anything, he can be quite girly."

Katie tilted her head in thought. She didn't know Juandissimo was attracted to other men. She certainly didn't expect it either. "Well…" She began almost awkwardly. "I still wanna meet 'im."

"…You do?"

"Well, duh." Katie placed her hands on her hips. "I'm your god kid, so _I _should be the one to judge your 'mates'."

Juandissimo laughed. He couldn't help it. It was cute when kids tried to act like adults. Katie looked up at him. "So…who is he?"

"Cupid."

Katie's eyes widened. "Cupid? _The Cupid? _The diaper-wearing, bow-and-arrow-using blonde boy?"

"Uh…no. I am talking about the diaper-wearing, bow-and-arrow-using, _pink-haired, _coffee-loving God of Love." Juandissimo replied.

"…Not a blonde boy?"

"No. That is what humans think he looks like."

"…You're dating a _God…?_"

Juandissimo grinned. "Well, what do you expect?" He flexed, his shirt ripping. "I am very sexy, no?"

Katie simply stood there, blinking confusedly at him. Juandissimo paused, then frowned and poofed another shirt back on. "Eh…Before your time."

Katie tapped her chin. "Hm…Alright, fine!" She raised an arm, index finger pointing to the ceiling. "Juandissimo, I wish Cupid was here!"

Juandissimo hesitated. Hold on, it was - what? - four o'clock in the evening? So then that meant…Oh, smoof…Still, Juandissimo _was _her fairy godparent…"Forgive me, mi amor…" He muttered, then held up his wand. The star began to glow, activating the wish.

In a puff of pink smoke, Cupid appeared…in his bathtub. The God of Love was humming happily, scrubbing his back with a brush while the showerhead above him sprayed water; washing away the foamy bubbles in his hair. Cupid opened his eyes and paused, his smile disappearing. He stared down at Katie for a second then let out a cry of alarm and attempted to cover himself. Juandissimo covered Katie's eyes, then poofed the bathtub away. Cupid floated there, now completely dry and dressed in his pink suit and diaper. He frowned. "Hey! What's the big idea? You didn't give me a chance to rinse and repeat!" He pointed at his hair.

Juandissimo grinned. "Mi amor, you're here!"

Cupid raised an eyebrow. "Juandissimo?" He crossed his arms angrily. "I thought we had a little talk about you interrupting me when I'm bathing. You know, after the first two times!"

Katie looked up at Juandissimo confusedly as he seemed to squirm. "Uh…the first time was an accident…"

Cupid's eyes widened. "You said the second time was an accident too!"

Juandissimo paused, realized what he'd said, then poofed up a box of chocolates. "Uh…Chocolate…?"

Cupid frowned. Katie waved at him, catching his attention. "Hi, Mister Cupid!"

"Yeah, hi. I -" He paused and looked at her again. There was a brief silence before Cupid raised an eyebrow and spoke again. "And you are…?"

"I'm Katie." She pointed at Juandissimo. "His godchild!"

Cupid stared at her, then looked at Juandissimo. "I thought you said you were getting assigned to a god_son._"

"That is what I thought." Juandissimo said. "That is what _Fairy World _thought."

"Wait…" Katie muttered. "_Fairy World _thinks I'm a _boy?_ But my name's _Katie!_"

"That is what confused them."

Katie pouted. How could anyone think she was a _boy? _

"Well," Cupid said. "Maybe if you took your hair out of that beanie, you wouldn't be mistaken for a boy." The God gestured to her short, brown hair.

Katie tilted her head, almost in confusion. "But…you have girly, pink hair…"

Cupid frowned and muttered, "I don't like her…"

Juandissimo grinned, almost nervously, and wrapped an arm around his lover's shoulders. "Look at you two! Getting along!"

Cupid glanced at him. "Don't try and butter me up. I'm still mad at you." He felt a tug on his sleeve and looked down.

Katie looked up at him with big eyes. "Mister Cupid, you can make people fall in love, right?"

"Well, 'make' is a strong way of putting it -"

"Then you can make my parents fall in love, right?"

Cupid and Juandissimo froze and stared at her. "Uh…" Cupid muttered awkwardly. "What?"

"Mom and Dad keep saying that nothing's wrong, but I _know _they're lying! That's why they're never home!"

"Katie," Juandissimo said. "Your parents aren't home because they have _jobs._"

"That's not true! It's because they don't wanna be around each other! They barely ever talk! Please, Mister Cupid? Please make them love each other again? _Please?"_

Cupid's mouth fell open. He glanced at Juandissimo, who bit his lip. Cupid looked back at the little girl holding his arm. Her eyes had gotten almost wet. "I…I, well…I can't just…" Katie's eyes seemed to get wetter by the second. Cupid sighed lightly. He couldn't just use his arrows willy-nilly but… "I'll see what I can do, kid." Cupid finally said.

Katie's unshed tears dried up and she smiled at him excitedly. "Really?! Thanks, Mister Cupid! You're the best!" She threw her arms around his torso.

Cupid looked taken aback (well, it wasn't everyday he got hugged by a random kid…). He glanced at his lover, who simply smiled and shrugged. Cupid looked back at Katie and gently pushed her away. "Yeah, alright. Stop now."

Katie smiled at him until she stopped the clock on the wall. "Oh my gosh! It's seven o'clock! Juandissimo, it's Wednesday today!" She turned and sprinted out of the room.

Cupid raised an eyebrow. Wednesday? What did that mean? Who cared if it was Wednesday? Juandissimo gestured to the doorway. "She is adorable, no?"

"Yeah, and she has a knack for making grown men feel guilty." Cupid replied, crossing his arms.

"Do you remember her parents?"

"Oh, heck yes. One of my more difficult jobs. I also remember Anti-Cupid hitting them with hate arrows." Cupid continued, revisiting the memory in his head of his counterpart shooting Katie's mother and father with black arrows. "I'm not really allowed to interfere with Anti-Cupid's job though. But, heck, he messes with mine all the time." The God of Love looked at his lover. "By the way, what the heck was she talking about Wednesday for?"

Juandissimo grinned. He took Cupid's hand. "Her brother isn't home today, amor."

"So?"

Instead of answering, Juandissimo held up his wand and they disappeared in a puff of purple smoke.

…

As they reappeared in the kitchen, Cupid suddenly found a large cylinder being pushed into his hands. He looked at the front. COFFEE ICE CREAM.

"Juandissimo said you liked coffee." Katie said as Cupid opened the tub. "I'm sorry that it's half-eaten. I tried to tell Billy to keep out of it."

Juandissimo handed Cupid a spoon. Cupid raised an eyebrow at the little girl smiling up at him. "It's Wednesday. My brother's out with his friends on Wednesdays, which means me and Juandissimo always have ice cream."

Cupid looked at Juandissimo and frowned. "And yet, when I tried to get you to eat chocolate, you complained it would ruin your body."

"But this is low fat!" Juandissimo replied, holding up his tub of vanilla ice cream.

Cupid looked at Katie as she scooped out some of her cookie dough ice cream. "How old are you anyway?"

"Seven."

"_Seven?"_

"And a half…"

Cupid looked at Juandissimo. "Well, she's younger then Buxaplenty was."

"Cupid, do you want caramel with yours?" Katie asked. The question was innocent enough, but the tension in the room changed. Juandissimo froze, eyes wide, and Cupid's eyes became hearts.

"Yes!"

"No!" Juandissimo zipped forward and took the bottle of caramel away from her. "Caramel makes him irritable."

"It does _not._" Cupid snapped, arms crossed. "Now give it."

"No."

"Juandissimo, give me the caramel or I will _ruin _your love life."

"…But you're my love life."

"Exactly."

Juandissimo paused, glanced at the bottle, then disappeared in a puff of smoke. Cupid frowned. "That _jerk…_" He too disappeared.

Katie sat in silence, then heard the sounds of their voices upstairs.

"Give it, Juandissimo!"

"No!"

Suddenly, Juandissimo zipped passed the doorway, Cupid chasing him. Katie burst into laughter, her childish sounds of glee echoing from the kitchen. "Again! Do that again!"

Behind the wall, Juandissimo held up an index finger. "Listen, amor. It's working, we're entertaining her."

Pfft. Of course, Cupid wouldn't _really_ chase Juandissimo over caramel (unless he was already really irritated, then it was possibility). They'd simply done that to make the little girl laugh. They could tell she was still depressed about her parents. "Oh, good." Cupid said. "…You _are _gonna give me the caramel, right?"

"…_Uh…"_

Cupid frowned.

…

Katie yawned as she got to her bedroom. Cupid and Juandissimo floated above her. The God of Love clutched his stomach. "I don't think I've ever eaten that much ice cream in my life, and I'm over ten thousand years old…" There was a brief silence before he looked at Juandissimo. "Wow. We sound really old."

Juandissimo smiled. "But we look good for our ages."

"Are you kidding? I look _fabulous._"

Katie yawned, a hand over her mouth, then wiped at her left eye, "Mister Cupid, if you're dating Juandissimo, does that mean you're my 'god-godparent'?"

"Uh, no." Cupid said. "I'm not trained for that sort of thing."

"But you can still hang around us, right?"

Cupid shrugged. "I guess I'm gonna have to. Juandissimo's gonna have to spend time with you anyway."

"Oh…" Katie went to rubbing her right eye. "I'm sorry for stealing your boyfriend…"

Cupid's eyebrows raised in alarm. She honestly sounded guilty and almost…cute. Cupid crossed his arms. "Oh, forget it. Just get to bed, would ya?"

Juandissimo held up his wand and Katie floated above the ground - purple sparkles twinkling around her - and was suddenly poofed into her pyjamas: a pale blue set of trousers and a long-sleeved shirt, decorated in polka dots and sheep. Katie - by means of Juandissimo's magic - floated over to her bed and laid down. The blanket was pulled up to her chin. "Goodnight, Juandissimo and Mister Cupid."

"Goodnight, kid."

"Buenas noches, mi Niña."

Soon, Katie's breathing became calm and even. Her eyes were shut.

As soon as he was sure she was fully asleep, Cupid turned to Juandissimo. "Why do all of your god kids bug me in some sort of way? Remy was a little brat and Katie's too cute for her own good!"

Juandissimo chuckled and poofed into his puppy form. He began to walk over to the dog bed that had been put beside Katie's bedside table, then paused as he stared at it. He dug his mouth into his fur and pulled out his wand, then gave it a wave. His name - which had been written on the front of the bed - moved to the right and the bed grew larger. On the front, it now read 'CUPID & JUANDISSIMO'. Cupid smiled and poofed into his own puppy form. He jogged over next to Juandissimo and nuzzled him like he'd done in the park. The two puppies climbed into their bed and happily curled up together. Soon, the fairy and the God were fast asleep.

…

**Author's note:**

_**Katie is an average kid**_

_**That no one understands**_

_**Mom and Dad and Billy**_

_**Always giving her commands,**_

_**Billy: Bed, twerp!**_

_**The doom and gloom up in her room**_

_**Is broken instantly**_

_**By her magic lil' pups who poof her up all kinds of stuff**_

_**Cause in reality**_

…_**They are her odd parents, **_

_**Fairly Odd Parents!**_

_**Cupid: Wands and wings!**_

_**Juandissimo: Floaty, crowny things!**_

_**Odd Parents,**_

_**Fairly Odd Parents!**_

_**Really mod, pea pod,**_

_**Buff bod, hot rod!**_

_**Katie: Obtuse, rubber goose, green moose, guava juice,**_

_**Giant snake, birthday cake, large fries, chocolate shake!**_

_**Odd Parents,**_

_**Fairly Odd Parents,**_

_**It flips your lid when you are the kid,**_

_**With Fairly Odd Parents!**_

_**Billy: Yeah, right!**_

_**(Bop!)**_

**Yeah, sorry. Couldn't resist. Oh, yes, Cupid is playing Wanda's part. And, of course, on 'buff bod', it's Juan ripping off his shirt. Just imagine Cupid's frown in the background. **_**Imagine it.**_

**That kid is lucky to have those two as her 'odd parents'. **

**In case anyone's wondering what the heck happened to Remy, let me say this: he's not in my good books. Sorry, but I just don't like 'im. He's a little twerp who treats Juandissimo more like a servant then a godparent. Yeah…I recently watched the episode 'Operation F.U.N' and Juan's line 'Remy forbids it' really got to me. Plus, he paid Juan! **_**Paid him! **_**You don't pay your fairy godparent. So, Remy's out, Katie's in. Besides, that twerp will probably lose Juan sometime again, with that attitude of his…*Grumble***

**Katie and Juan are my guinea pigs of sorts. I noticed that pretty much no fairy has a godchild of the opposite gender (not counting Wanda and Timmy, since Wanda has to stay with Cosmo cause they're married). So…yeah. In a way, she's got same-sex parents. *Thumbs up* Good for her.**

**So, onto Katie:**

**Katie's parents are fairly rich, so she lives a pretty…ok life. She's kind of a tomboy and loves Cupid and Juandissimo to pieces (sometimes even more then her real parents). Cupid…has mixed opinions about her. Juan loves her. Her older brother, Billy, is about as old as Vicky and loves to bully his younger sister. It's **_**very **_**rare that these two will get along. Despite the fact that Cupid told her that he wasn't her 'god-godparent', she still calls him that. He…kinda does grant her wishes (sometimes), especially when she tries to fix one of her more stupid wishes. **

**QUESTION TIME!: Here's something I've been debating (with myself) for a while now:…Why the heck was Cupid on Fairy Idol in the first place? I haven't seen that thing in ages, but I know that it was a competition to be a fairy godparent, and we've already seen that fairies need to go through a lot of training to be a godparent. Plus, he's a **_**God, **_**he's probably busy a lot of the time. So, what the heck was he doing there? Hoping to get revenge on Timmy for almost killing him/making sure his holiday never arrives? **


	10. Protect

**Of Pink Hair and Spanish Flair**

**I don't own Fairly Odd Parents. Butch Hartman does.**

**I do, however, own Katie and Billy Katsworth.**

**WARNING!: This series is about CupidxJuandissimo. Don't like, don't read.**

**Relationship: Lovers.**

**Word: Protect.**

…

The television in Katie's living room blasted the latest episode of _C.C. Cruiser and the Hot Rod Squad. _Katie was more then happy to watch it. A TV series about a guy who fights evil truck drivers (with the help of a hot yet smart sidekick and a talking car) for a living? Awesome! Who cared how violent it was? It had _freeze frames!_

"You know," Cupid said from beside her on the sofa, in his puppy form. "My mom would never allow me to watch this kind of stuff."

Katie tore her eyes from the screen and looked at her 'god-godparent'. "Why's that?"

"Too violent."

Juandissimo was laying on the floor, also in his canine form, trying to get some rest. He was curled up in a purple ball, eyes shut and breathing even. Katie grabbed a handful of popcorn from the bowl beside her and tossed it into the air, only for it to sprinkle down into her lap - absolutely none of the popcorn getting into her mouth. "Aw…" She muttered, looking down at the mess.

"Here," Cupid said, poofing back into his usual form. "Let me show you how it's done." He grabbed his own handful from the bowl and tossed it up. Each piece landed in his mouth accordingly and he happily chewed on it afterwards. Katie clapped for him and he muttered, "Dad taught me that one. Which is weird, cause he's blind as a bat."

"Your dad's _blind?"_

"Well, no. But he does wear glasses." Cupid's eyes flew to the doorway as he heard footsteps and he quickly poofed into his puppy form.

Billy Katsworth walked into the room. He was a tall young man with spiky brown hair and hazel eyes like his sister's. His jeans were ripped and his white t-shirt had several dirty stains on it. He tried to make himself look cool by wearing a gold chain, but even the neighbours thought he tried too hard to look like a normal teenager. Pfft. What was normal about having rich parents and a sister who secretly had godparents who granted her (almost) every wish? _Nothing. _"Who're you talking to, twerp?"

"My puppy." Katie replied, frowning at him.

Billy looked like he was about to respond, but the sound of _C.C. Cruiser and the Hot Rod Squad _caught his attention. "Why didn't you _tell me _this was on?!"

"Didn't think you wanted to watch it…" Katie mumbled.

Billy jogged over to the sofa and stopped in front of Cupid. He frowned at the pink canine. "Move it, mutt!" He gave Cupid a shove and the God let out a very dog-like whimper as he was pushed off of the sofa.

When Billy wasn't looking, Cupid poofed back into his normal form, scowling at the teenager, and rubbed his backside, which had taken most of the damage when he was pushed. He quickly changed back to his canine form.

"Hey!" Katie exclaimed. "Don't push him!"

Juandissimo raised his head. He hadn't seen what had happened, but judging by the fact his lover was laying on the floor - clearly angered - and Katie's choice of words, it'd been Billy who'd harassed his love. Juandissimo showed his teeth as he dipped into his fur and pulled out his wand. The star began to glow and, as Billy sat down in the place Cupid had once occupied, the spring in the sofa stretched and the teenager was thrown into the air. He hit the ceiling and fell back down with a _thud. _Katie and Cupid had to hide their chuckles and Juandissimo smirked as he put his wand away.

Billy scowled at his sister, who immediately shut up once she realized he was looking at her. His eyes then sought out Cupid, who was still chuckling behind one paw. "That mutt's laughin' at me!"

Cupid paused and stared up at him, his chuckling ceased. Katie frowned. "Don't be silly. Puppies can't laugh."

"But _it was!"_

Cupid's eyes narrowed. _He was, _he mentally corrected, _I'm a _boy. The God smirked. Man, this teenager was stupid.

Apparently, he hadn't hid his smirk well enough because Billy approached him, squeezing a fist shut and hit against one palm. Cupid shrank back. With Billy standing there like that, he couldn't use his wand without getting caught. "That's it, _mutt, _you're _toast!_"

"No!" Katie exclaimed, reaching out.

In a blur of purple, a blink of an eye, Juandissimo sprinted over. He stood in between Cupid and Billy, shoulders hunched and teeth showing. A very angry and very dog-like growl was escaping him and was clearly aimed at Katie's brother. Everyone stopped and stared at him. One of Billy's hands lowered, but he didn't seem to give up. He took a step forward, but Juandissimo's growls grew more ferocious. Billy stepped back, then began to simply edge away. He was trying not to show his fear toward the purple puppy, who currently looked like he was going to tear his head off.

Billy put his hands to his hips. "Yeah, well…I didn't wanna watch that stupid show anyway." He turned and speed-walked out.

Katie and Cupid stared at Juandissimo as he calmly sat down. "I hate that chico estúpido…" He muttered, breaking the silence.

Cupid smiled and wandered over. "Thanks, Juan. But I could've handled that myself."

Juandissimo looked at him. "You looked petrified, amor."

Cupid frowned. Juandissimo wrapped a paw around him and pulled him closer, smirking at him and waggling his eyebrows. Cupid smiled and nuzzled his muzzle against Juandissimo's.

Katie giggled at them. "You guys are so weird."

…

Even after _C.C. Cruiser and the Hot Rod Squad _had ended, all three were asleep. Katie was asleep on the sofa, a blanket (which Juandissimo had poofed up for her) draped over her. Popcorn was scattered around her from all of her failed attempts to catch it in her mouth, as Cupid had shown her.

Cupid and Juandissimo were laying on the floor together, happily curled up. Juandissimo had his head on top of Cupid's, almost protectively. One could never be too careful. Especially not with a punk like Billy around the place.

Oh, well. Juandissimo _dared _him to try it again. He had plenty of other tricks (both magic and not) up his sleeves.

…Metaphorically, of course. Puppies don't have sleeves.

…

**Author's note:**

**Protective Juandissimo is protective.**

**Thought of during school. Cause, sometimes, I just can't be bothered to pay attention and (thanks to this) my mind wanders into the land of CupidxJuandissimo. Tis a beautiful place, filled with love hearts, pink hair, Spanish music and puppies. Lots of puppies. **

…**Yeah.**


	11. Lamp

**Of Pink Hair and Spanish Flair**

**I don't own Fairly Odd Parents. Butch Hartman does.**

**I do, however, own Katie and Billy Katsworth.**

**WARNING!: This series is about CupidxJuandissimo. Don't like, don't read.**

**Relationship: Lovers.**

**Word: Lamp.**

…

It was midnight and Katie Katsworth was wide awake. She was clutching her blanket tightly, staring up at the ceiling. She was shaking violently, whimpering every few seconds. The room was in complete darkness, the lamp on the bedside table having been turned off a few hours ago. Katie looked at the dog bed next to the table.

Cupid and Juandissimo were fast asleep, curled up together in balls of pink and purple fur. Katie's eyes went to her closet door. It was simple, brown door; but it held so much reason for Katie's fear. She shifted on her bed, so that she was further away from the door. Then she paused and looked over the side of her bed. Even though nothing happened, she still pulled herself away from the edge and began shaking again. No way could she sleep like this. Shifting so that she was now kneeling, she reached over and turned on the lamp. Light flashed into the room, banishing the darkness to the coldest, dampest corners of the room. Katie grabbed her blanket and held it to herself. Looking over at the bed again, she whispered, "Mister Cupid."

Cupid didn't move.

"Mister Cupid…!"

Cupid shifted slightly.

"Mister Cupid, please…!"

After a few seconds of silence, Cupid's eyes fluttered open. He raised his head and stared at her. "Hm…What? What do you want?"

"Mister Cupid…I'm scared…" Katie muttered. At this, Cupid raised an eyebrow. He dug into his fur and pulled out his wand. The star glowed and he poofed back into his normal form. "…C-Could you look under my bed for monsters?"

Cupid paused and stared, floating above the dog bed where his lover was still fast asleep. Juandissimo had had some sort of fairy godparent exam today, or something like that, so he was pretty tired. Cupid didn't particularly understand all of that nonsense. "Aren't you a little old for that kind of stuff?" He asked, crossing his arms.

Katie simply stared back, clutching the blanket tighter to herself. Cupid sighed and rolled his eyes then floated over to the bed and ducked down onto the floor, lifting the blanket up and peeking underneath the bed. "Look, Katie. All that's under here is a couple of comic books, a pencil and a doll."

"Action figure."

"Whatever." Cupid pushed the blanket away and floated above her. "Happy?"

Katie looked over at the closet. "C…Could you check the closet too…?"

Cupid sighed through his nose. The things he did for this kid…The God floated over to the closet and took hold of the doorknob, then pulled the door open. Katie shrunk back. A soccer ball rolled out. Cupid looked down at it, then peeked into the closet. Clothes hung on the rack that was built in there and several boxes (no doubt full of comic books and old memories) were on the top shelf.

Cupid gestured to it. "See? Nothing there." He pushed the soccer ball back into the closet, then shut the door. Turning to her, he crossed his arms. "What's gotten into you? You've never been scared of the dark before."

Katie looked at her blanket in embarrassment. "…B-Billy told me some scary stories earlier…about monsters in the dark…They were _really scary, _Mister Cupid."

Cupid frowned. Billy - her teenaged brother - told a seven-year-old girl about monsters in the darkness? That rotten git. "Since when do you ever listen to your brother?"

"…Never…"

"Exactly. So why should you listen now?"

Katie didn't respond. Cupid shrugged. "Besides, Juandissimo and I are here. I'm a God and he's a fairy and _both _of us have magical powers. Do you really think we'd let something happen? Well, do you?"

Katie slowly smiled. "No…"

"Exactly. But, if it makes you feel better…" He trailed off, floating back over to Juandissimo. He nudged him. "Hey, Juan."

Juandissimo didn't move.

"Juan."

Still no movement. Cupid rolled his eyes and said, out loud, "Oh, hi, Wanda!"

Suddenly, Juandissimo was awake, eyes wide. Instead of seeing his ex-girlfriend, he saw Cupid, who looked pretty irritated. "I was hoping that _wouldn't _work."

Juandissimo grinned nervously. He looked at his goddaughter. "What's going on?"

"She scared because of some stories Billy told her." Cupid said.

Juandissimo glanced at him, then looked back at his goddaughter. "Oh, mi Niña." He bounded over to the bed, then jumped up and laid beside her. She hugged him tightly, burying her face into his purple fur. "Don't worry, mi Niña. Cupido and I are here."

Katie smiled. "Thanks, guys."

Cupid poofed back into his puppy form, then scrambled onto the bed. He laid down with them, smiling at her.

Katie yawned and pulled the cover back over herself. "So," Cupid said. "Ready to turn out that lamp?"

Katie looked at it, her brow furrowed, as the words of the stories got to her again. _Monsters…Blood…Eaten…_Katie gulped and looked back at Cupid and Juandissimo. They were there - there to protect her. Why should she be scared when she had her godparents there with her? Smiling, Katie reached over and turned out the light. For a few seconds, she waited for something to happen, but nothing did. Satisfied, she laid there, head on her pillow, godparents in each arm, and fell into a sweet sleep. Finally, the little girl got some sleep. They would deal with Billy tomorrow.

"…By the way, Juan, we're having a little talk about the whole 'wake-up-cause-Wanda's-here' thing later."

A sigh was heard. "Of course, amor."

…

**Author's note:**

**Last Friday was officially the best day of my life. I got to go to the Warner Bros. Studio Tour **_**The Making of Harry Potter **_**with my school as a little school trip. I saw the actual props and sets used in the movies. At the entrance of the place are three, large bricks of clay with the handprints of Emma Watson (Hermione Granger), Daniel Radcliffe (Harry Potter) and Rupert Grint (Ron Weasley). I have bigger hands then Emma, same sized hands as Rupert and smaller hands then Daniel. *Squeal* **

**Oh, yes. I'm a Potter fan. Right now, I am - again - dressed in my new Harry Potter glasses and Gryffindor cloak. My new Sirius Black wand is in its fancy lil' box. Heh. Yeah…we visited the gift shop on the way out. Everything is expensive (the cloak cost £75, the wand £25 and the glasses were a fiver), but bloody worth it. I was the only one who bought a cloak too…Yeah. The jelly beans are nice, though.**

**I also made one of my past teachers, my classmates and myself pretty proud. See, I have Ipovlopsychophobia (fear of having one's photo taken). I have suffered panic attacks before due to it (nothing serious). Feel free to laugh. Despite that, I was brave enough to appear in about three photos and I only suffered a **_**very minor **_**panic attack. Yay! I have not, however, gotten over this fear. I still have it and I will still keep well away from cameras, but it's a start. Would anyone like to know what it's like having a panic attack?**

**QUESTION TIME!: It's ok if you don't want to say, but what phobias do you guys have? I won't laugh, I promise. **

***Clears throat* So, anyway. For today's update, we have a cute lil' family thing. It's short and I don't entirely like it but - Oh, look, Cupid. You're developing fatherly feelings. Good for you, you little weirdo. **


	12. Handsome

**Of Pink Hair and Spanish Flair**

**I don't own the Fairly Odd Parents. Butch Hartman does.**

**I especially don't own 'Big Bad Handsome Man' by Imelda May.**

**I do, however, own these versions of Anti-Cupid and Anti-Juandissimo.**

**WARNING!: This series is about CupidxJuandissimo. Don't like, don't read.**

**Relationship: Lovers.**

**Word: Handsome.**

…

Upon the list of qualities Cupid thought his lover should have, beauty was up there with the best of 'em. Hey, Cupid was a _God. _He deserved the best. And Juandissimo _was _the best. You know, when he wasn't flirting with other women. Juandissimo was gentle and loving. He was a lover, not a fighter. Well, right now, he was a 'shopper' because the Spanish fairy was out in a supermarket somewhere, leaving the God of Love alone in his mansion.

As Cupid laid down on his pink sofa, reading a romance novel one of his cherubs had recommended, he began to think.

Juandissimo was everything Cupid deserved and wanted. Tall, dark and handsome. He was bad in a 'high school bad boy' kind of way. Yeah, he knew the rules but he didn't stick to them (ok, maybe sometimes…). Exactly what Cupid liked in a man. The best part was that Cupid didn't have to use an arrow on this guy! He was already attracted to the God. Good. He should be.

_The man is tall, mad, mean and good-lookin',_

_And he's got me in his eye,_

Of course, then again, Anti-Juandissimo and Anti-Cupid were almost the same. Anti-Cupid was the 'big, bad, handsome man' in Anti-Juandissimo's life. Anti-Cupid wasn't taller then Anti-Juandissimo, but he was more powerful. He was _Anti-Cupid, _an _Anti-God! _He had power not even Anti-Cosmo possessed! One power that Anti-Juandissimo could think of was that he was able to make the Italian anti-fairy nervous. That wasn't normal.

Anti-Juandissimo looked up at the ceiling in thought. Anti-Cupid was out doing errands or something so Anti-Juandissimo was in the kitchen, cooking and baking all of his and Anti-Cupid's favourites. Anti-Juandissimo hadn't been obsessed with anyone else before, not even Anti-Wanda - and he had _loved _Anti-Wanda! 'Loved' being in the past, of course. Now, he couldn't stand her. Anti-Cupid had filled her slot as the 'love interest'.

_When he looks at me, I go weak at the knees,_

_He's got me going like no other guy_

_Cause he's my big, bad, handsome man, yeah,_

_He's got me in the palm of his hand,_

'Palm of his hand'. Ha! Well, of course. In some ways, Anti-Juandissimo was Anti-Cupid's puppet. In other ways, he was his companion and loyal follower. Friend? Maybe. Perhaps. No. Yes. Not sure.

Cupid stared up at the ceiling and chewed his lip. Even though he was a God, it was still debatable who 'wore the pants' in the relationship. Metaphorically, of course. Cupid always just wore a diaper. It was Anti-Cupid who would occasionally wear trousers.

_He's the Devil Devine, I'm so glad that he's mine,_

_Cause he's my big, bad, handsome man,_

While Cupid was pretty good on a piano (as Juandissimo has discovered through visiting his mansion several times), Anti-Cupid was a whiz on a violin. Anti-Juandissimo never understood how Anti-Cupid could comprehend the little squiggly lines on the paper he always had on his shelves, but apparently they told him how to play that music. Maybe it was magic.

One night, Anti-Juandissimo was wandering around the mansion. He'd been to every room at least a dozen times but it was still fun to explore. As he neared the door to Anti-Cupid's study, he paused. He was never allowed in Anti-Cupid's study. He'd been in there before, sure, but he hadn't really had permission to do so. Anti-Cupid would disappear in there for hours. Anti-Juandissimo simply assumed he was plotting or something.

Anti-Juandissimo stared at the door, listening to the weird sound emitting from behind it. He braced himself then floated closer, pressing his ear to the door. The sound was creepy, but kind of pretty at the same time. He liked it but it still frightened him. What if Anti-Cupid was being tortured? Anti-Juandissimo stepped back. He wasn't as brave nor strong as his counterpart, but…if Anti-Cupid was being hurt…

Anti-Juandissimo took hold of the doorknob. _Five, _he counted down in his head, _Four…Wait, what comes next?…Oh! Three, two…one…_

He opened the door, carefully and slowly, and peeked in. He expected a masked man or perhaps a monster. Instead, he saw Anti-Cupid standing there, some sort of small guitar under his chin. He moved a bow over the strings, creating a hauntingly beautiful sound. His eyes were shut, so he hadn't noticed Anti-Juandissimo. Anti-Juandissimo tilted his head, then snuck into the room. Anti-Cupid looked so calm and peaceful, he just didn't want to disturb him. As quietly as he could, the anti-fairy walked in and sat down, cross-legged, in front of him; hands on his ankles. Anti-Juandissimo smiled up at the Anti-God.

Finally, Anti-Cupid's tune stopped and Anti-Juandissimo burst into cheers, clapping his hands loudly. "Yay, Anti-Cupid!"

Anti-Cupid's eyes flew open and he stared at him. "What're you doing here?"

"I heard you playing your guitar. Can I play it too?" He leaned up and reached for it, but Anti-Cupid slapped his hand away. Anti-Juandissimo drew back and put his injured fingers to his mouth, sucking on them in an attempt to heal them and ease the pain.

"First of all, this is a violin, not a guitar. Second of all, no, you can't play it. You can't even _touch it. _It's an antique." He turned and carefully placed it into a glass case. "Besides, you're too idiotic." He turned back to Anti-Juandissimo and saw that his bottom lip was trembling, tears filling his eyes. Anti-Cupid sighed. "Look, maybe, someday; a long, long time from now…I'll teach you how to play."

Anti-Juandissimo brightened up and smiled at him. "Really, Anti-Cupid?! You really mean that?!"

"Yeah, sure, whatever."

"Thanks, Anti-Cupid!" He leapt up, arms out, but Anti-Cupid held out a hand.

"Don't hug me."

Anti-Juandissimo shrank back, pouting.

Thinking back on that, Anti-Juandissimo realized he now had a companion who was talented. Anti-Wanda, despite all the things she could do, hadn't been musically talented. Her singing voice hadn't been that bad, but no way could she be as good as Anti-Cupid on the violin.

_Oh, the music he plays, the way he moves me and sways,_

_Rocks me to the core,_

The same night that Anti-Juandissimo had listened to Anti-Cupid's violin, Cupid was laying in bed; Juandissimo laying behind him, whispering lyrics into his ear. The lyrics were in Spanish, but they were lovely. It didn't matter that he couldn't understand any of it. It was _Juandissimo, _after all. It was probably something horribly cliché and romantic. Yeah, so they'd been kicked off of Fairy Idol. Pfft. Who cares? That didn't mean their voices were terrible. Just meant that people had no taste.

Cupid smiled and looked over his shoulder. Realizing his love had turned around, Juandissimo stopped singing. "I don't suppose you'll ever tell me what those lyrics mean, hm?"

Juandissimo stared at him and smirked. "Maybe, maybe not. Perhaps I would like to keep the lyrics a secret."

"…It's a love song, isn't it?"

"I'll never tell."

Cupid would've been annoyed if he wasn't so relaxed. "I'll just look 'em up later."

"If you can spell them."

Cupid paused and thought about. He was absolutely horrible at pronouncing Spanish, but _spelling it…_Oh, _that _was his almighty downfall. Cupid pouted and Juandissimo grinned. Cupid looked away, then smiled lightly and rolled over. He pressed his ear to Juandissimo's chest, placing his hand over the Spanish fairy's heart, and shut his eyes. Juandissimo looked at him confusedly. "Juan," Cupid whispered.

"Si, mi amor?"

"I didn't tell you to stop."

Juandissimo smirked and held him tightly with one arm, lowering his head to whisper the song in his ear again.

Cupid's only regret was that he'd never heard the end of that song, since sleep would always take him before Juandissimo could get to the last verse. Someday, he'd listen to it. That was his goal.

…Weird goal.

_When he sings in my ear, he makes me shiver and leer,_

_Leaves me wanting more and more,_

_Cause he's my big, bad, handsome man, yeah,_

_He's got me in the palm of his hand,_

Cupid didn't entirely know if he was surprised or not that Juandissimo had began getting control over his affections for Wanda. In a way, he wasn't surprised. Cupid naturally had that way of making people like him. He didn't do it on purpose (ok, maybe sometimes). He couldn't quite remember if he'd purposely made Juandissimo like him.

However, Cupid was still surprised. Juandissimo had pined after Wanda for years (hundreds of years!) with no such luck of getting back with her. When Juandissimo and Cupid began their relationship, Cupid thought that maybe he had finally gotten over Wanda and had moved on. Then Cupid sensed his feelings and had frowned. Oh, no. They were still there. Going good and strong. Cupid had almost felt used, like some doll that was just replacing another. Pah. If Juandissimo tried to break his heart, well, good luck! He was a God. Gods didn't get their hearts broken. Besides, Cupid's mother would probably kill him. Well, maybe. Uh…not sure.

But Juandissimo was his now and that was all that mattered. Wanda was just the past. _Cupid _was the present and (hopefully) the future.

_He's the Devil Devine, I'm so glad that he's mine,_

_Cause he's my big, bad, handsome man,_

Quite a few people were scared of the Anti-Cupid. Not only because he was the most famous Anti-God in existence (due to him constantly causing trouble), but because of how he looked.

A blue-skinned vampire. That's what he looked like. But Anti-Juandissimo found he rather liked that look. It meant that no one messed with them. They were too scared of the Anti-God.

People had thought that Anti-Juandissimo would want to try and get away from the Anti-Cupid by now. Who would want to stay with the Anti-Cupid forever? Apparently, only Anti-Juandissimo wanted to. He was far too attached to the Anti-God to leave him now.

_With his rugged good looks, yeah, he's got me hooked,_

_Got me where he wants me to be,_

"Come on, amor," Juandissimo encouraged. "It is easy!"

Cupid blew some hair out of his face. This had occurred the week before the present day. The Spanish fairy had attempted to teach the God how to dance the salsa with, uh, bad results. Cupid frowned at him. "That's easy for you to say. You've been dancing your entire life."

"Well…not my entire life. Only most of it."

"That's it." Cupid threw his hands up. "I give up."

Juandissimo tilted his head. "Give up? Amor, it is not like you to give up."

"Yeah, well, this time is different." He crossed his arms stubbornly.

Juandissimo approached him and took hold of his hand. "One last try. _Then_ I'll let you give up."

Cupid sighed irritably, but let himself be pulled along.

They'd ended up laughing at themselves and that hilarity ended with them both on the floor (somehow, Cupid had managed to push Juandissimo to the floor with his failure known as 'dancing'), Juandissimo's arms around the God. "Mi amor," Juandissimo had whispered in his ear. "I think we have established that you cannot salsa."

"Gee," Cupid said, smiling. "What makes you think that?" He raised an index finger. "I do, however, know a lot about the delicious dip."

Juandissimo had laughed and kissed Cupid's cheek, pulling him closer to his body.

Hm? Oh, no. Cupid didn't blush. Well…not much.

_With his arms so wide, he pulls in by his side,_

_He's the kind of guy that does it for me,_

In the present, Anti-Juandissimo squirted icing onto one of the little cakes in front of him. Anti-Cupid would be home soon, probably. Maybe. Eh. Anti-Juandissimo was never good at telling the time. He didn't know when Anti-Cupid would be back. Oh, well. Anti-Juandissimo had found company in the plates of cakes and cookies around him. Still, it would be nice to have the Anti-God back.

Suddenly, a blue hand with sharp fingernails moved in the corner of his eye, grabbing a cookie from the plate with a thumb and two fingers. Anti-Juandissimo heard a _crunch _after the cookie was taken from his sight. The Italian anti-fairy turned and, as if his prayers were answered, he saw his housemate.

"You've been experimenting." Anti-Cupid muttered, chewing the cookie in his mouth and staring at the biscuit; as though he expected it to do something.

Anti-Juandissimo nodded. "Uh-huh." He looked Anti-Cupid up and down. "You're wearing pants."

Sure enough, the Anti-God was wearing blue slacks (to match his blue suit) and black dress shoes. Anti-Juandissimo had no doubt in his mind that Anti-Cupid was wearing his usual diaper underneath. Anti-Cupid raised an eyebrow. "Of course. I'm not always going to dress like that diaper-wearing ninny." Anti-Cupid looked up at him.

The Italian anti-fairy was clad in a black apron with the words 'KISS THE ANTI-COOK' written in blue lettering. A chef's hat was set a wonky angle on his head. Anti-Cupid's eyes became half-lidded. "I usually have a salad when I get home," he said, in a sort of warning tone. "not _sweets._"

Anti-Juandissimo hummed in thought for a second, then plucked a spoon from the utensil holder and dipped it into a dish filled with a gold-brown liquid. He held it out for Anti-Cupid. "Well…Why don't you try caramel for once? Salad makes you irritable."

Anti-Cupid frowned. "No. What makes me irritable is returning home to find a mess." He turned and began to walk away. "Just clean up after you're done. _Without magic."_

Anti-Juandissimo pouted. He would do anything for Anti-Cupid but…he didn't like being ordered around. He didn't dare say anything though.

"Oh, and, uh,"

Anti-Juandissimo looked up as Anti-Cupid stopped walking. He held the cookie up without looking at the Italian man. "This is…pretty good…"

Anti-Juandissimo stared as Anti-Cupid stood there, almost awkwardly.

No…he wouldn't - gah…He couldn't - _gah…_

Ah, well. The urge had become too great.

"What're you _doing?!"_

_Cause he's my big, bad, handsome man, yeah,_

_He's got me in the palm of his hand,_

Meanwhile, in Fairy World, Cupid had just gotten to the most romantic part of the book. His thoughts weren't exactly on it, though. Why should they be? He was busy thinking about another source of romance, otherwise known as Juandissimo Magnifico.

Before Juandissimo, Cupid had began to notice that he was getting lonely. It was weird because Cupid never got lonely. He was _Cupid. _Loneliness was the Anti-Cupid's thing. It was just ironic that he created relationships for a living and yet was single himself. Then Juandissimo had come along - as a friend and companion - and suddenly Cupid had company again. Then the romance had begun and…well, everything came up roses.

There was a puff of purple smoke. Juandissimo floated by the doorway (Pfft. Of course he hadn't actually used the door. Doors were for chumps), shopping bag in one hand. "Mi amor, no offence," Juandissimo said. "But, next time, could you do the shopping? Sexy does not wait in shopping lines." He added, shirt ripping then quickly poofing back on.

Cupid stared. Those memories floated around in his head and, suddenly, he couldn't take his eyes off of Juandissimo.

The Spanish fairy noticed the awkward and uncomfortable silence and tilted his head, raising an eyebrow, "Amor? Have I done anything to upset you, my darling?"

The book was dropped from Cupid's hands and he poofed away in a puff of pink smoke. Before Juandissimo could even blink, Cupid was in another part of the room.

"Uh…Amor, what're you doing?"

_He's the Devil Devine, I'm so glad that he's mine,_

_Cause he's my big, bad, handsome man,_

_Ohhhh!_

"Let go of me, you dolt!" Anti-Cupid ordered. Anti-Juandissimo stood behind him, arms wrapped around him. He was lifting Anti-Cupid off of the ground and hugging him like a new teddy bear.

"I like you too, Anti-Cupid!" Anti-Juandissimo exclaimed, nuzzling the side of his face against the back of Anti-Cupid's neck.

"I don't _like you, you brainless moron!"_

Anti-Juandissimo opened his eyes and froze, allowing Anti-Cupid to slip from his grasp. The Anti-God turned to scold him further, but was greeted by a pout. Tears were developing in Anti-Juandissimo's eyes and Anti-Cupid suddenly felt a strange pang in his chest. "Alright, don't you dare cry."

Anti-Juandissimo sniffled.

Anti-Cupid sighed. "Alright, fine! I…I didn't mean it."

Anti-Juandissimo sniffled again and wiped at his eye. "Really?"

"Yeah, sure, whatever."

"Does…that mean I can hug you…?"

Anti-Cupid looked away. "Ye - Wait, what?"

Anti-Juandissimo's tears immediately dried up and he smiled widely. Holding out his arms, he dived at the Anti-Cupid. "_Yay_!"

Anti-Cupid gritted his teeth and leaned back, eyes widened. He was suddenly flung to the floor as Anti-Juandissimo embraced him.

Both men were now laying on the floor, Anti-Juandissimo on top of Anti-Cupid; arms around his torso and ear pressed to his chest, nuzzling him. His chef's hat had fallen off, due to the strength he had flung himself at. Anti-Cupid stared up at the ceiling, still completely surprised. Then his body began to spasm violently. He gripped his dark hair with both hands. "_Ah! Good emotions everywhere! BURNING!"_

"I like you too, Anti-Cupid!" Anti-Juandissimo exclaimed. "I always will!"

"_Gah! GOOD EMOTIONS!"_

_My big, bad, handsome man, yeah,_

_He's got me in the palm of his hand,_

Juandissimo was suddenly holding Cupid in one arm as the God hugged him around the neck. The Spanish fairy looked at him confusedly. He'd barely ever seen Cupid so affectionate. Did going shopping really please him that much? How strange. Brilliant, but strange. Juandissimo reached into the bag and pulled out the tub of coffee beans. "…Maybe I should buy coffee more often then…" He dropped the coffee back into the bag. He looked at Cupid with a smirk. "What has gotten into you, amor?"

Cupid smiled at him. "Oh…It's nothing, really."

Juandissimo grinned, then cupped Cupid's face in one hand and kissed him. Cupid gladly returned it. After they pulled apart, Cupid kissed Juandissimo's cheek. The Spanish fairy smirked. Whatever had gotten in to Cupid, he bloody hoped it would come back. Juandissimo dropped the shopping bag and scooped Cupid into his arms. He carried him to the sofa then sat down, placing the God in his lap and wrapped his arms around him; holding him to his chest.

_He's the Devil Devine, I'm so glad that he's mine,_

_Cause he's my big, bad,_

Both Anti-Juandissimo and Cupid had their big, bad, handsome men. One was loving and romantic while the other pretended he couldn't give a snot about anyone. Both had their flaws - flirting with other people, raising their voice when it wasn't needed - but they still had their good qualities.

Cupid and Anti-Juandissimo shut their eyes and smiled. It was nice to have people like Juandissimo and Anti-Cupid around.

_I'm so glad that he's my big, bad, handsome man…_

…

**Author's note:**

**Hey, look, guys. The Antis are back.**

**I've seriously got to thank A Beautiful Beast for introducing me to this awesome song with their fanfic of the same name. I admit that, when I first read it, I didn't look up the song but, the second time, I did. I'm glad that I did. I was running low on awesome songs to listen to (and getting kinda bored of the ones I was already listening to) and this one…man, it's awesome. ABB is also the reason I think of Fairly Odd Parents whenever I listen to this song…**

**I can't tell you how many times I went back and edited this thing. I'm still not pleased with it, but…damn, it feels good to finally finish it…**

**Cupid playing piano is canon. We see him playing piano in Fairly Odd Baby and Fairly Oddlympics. Both short scenes, but he can play nonetheless. Our Cupid is musically talented *Sniffles*…Sounds like something his mother would say.**

**I'd imagine Anti-Cupid would occasionally wear trousers. Not only cause he looks epic in them, but because he doesn't want to be like Cupid all the time. **

**Despite the fact I said I'd write a one-shot series for the antis, they will still appear in this. The next one they'll appear in will most likely be…the one entitled 'Jealousy'. It's another 'scene at the end' thing, but you'll get introduced to a new character so that's…cool…?**

**Yeah. Not much else to say except…**

**LISTEN TO THE SONG.**


	13. Reunite

**Of Pink Hair and Spanish Flair**

**I don't own Fairly Odd Parents. Butch Hartman does.**

**WARNING!: This series is about CupidxJuandissimo. Don't like, don't read.**

**Relationship: Lovers.**

**Word: Reunite.**

…

It all felt so empty.

Juandissimo didn't know where he was, but it all felt so empty. Looked it, too. Everything was gone. Oh, but he didn't care. Everything was already gone. He'd watched Cupid die just a few moments ago. Nothing was alright now. Absolutely nothing.

He should have _done something. _He should have found whoever had threatened Cupid's life (unintentionally or not) and forced them (by any means necessary) to change it all back. Instead, he had sat by and just _watched _as his lover _died - _disappeared _forever. _God, he was so pathetic.

Juandissimo's eyes were half-lidded. His wings felt so heavy, he didn't even bother to float. Luckily, despite how empty this unknown place was, there was some sort of floor. It was invisible in the blank area he had been put in, but it was there nonetheless. It brought some sort of comfort. A tiny amount, but it was still there.

Some knight in shining armour he was. Letting all of this happen to his love. Looking back, Juandissimo realized he had actually treated Cupid pretty badly. When they were still friends - _just friends - _he had actually ignored _Blonda _just because he had wanted to hang out with Cupid. Sometimes, he blamed it on greed. Being a good friend to a God, he got treated well and he got treats and things he would have never had gotten while he was still 'just a fairy'.

Then their relationship had taken a romantic twist. Juandissimo remembered precisely how they'd admitted their feelings. Well, maybe 'admitting' wasn't the best way to put it. What better way could there be…? Hm. Oh, yeah. 'Suddenly making out at a party'. Yes. That was better. Anyway, as the romance began to kick in, Juandissimo had actually found himself…well, not edging away from Cupid. Oh, no. But…he'd felt different around him. As friends, he barely paid attention to even Wanda. As lovers, he had flirted with the pink-haired godmother; sometimes completely forgetting that Cupid - _his lover - _was floating only a little while away. No wonder they'd had so many 'conversations' about Wanda. Sometimes, he would tell himself that he did this flirting to convince himself that he was not attracted to males (not that he had a problem with that sort of thing. He'd heard Cupid's tales of his past, _male _lovers) and that Cupid was a one-off thing. Not an experiment, so to say, but a one-off. It didn't mean he'd gone off girls altogether. Oh, heavens, no. He still had a thing for senoritas. Wanda wasn't the only one he flirted with in Cupid's presence (sad to say). Who would be better to use to discover one's sexual preferences then Cupid, the guy who dated anything? You know, as long as it was a species he liked and it was within his age range (Pfft. He was the God of Love. He didn't judge).

But then Juandissimo's heart would pang and the little voice in his head - the one that had been previously trying to convince him that this was a one-off thing - would tell him something else. It was different every time.

"_No. You're with him because you care about him." _

"_He's not a 'one-off' and you know it."_

"_Face it, Juan. You could actually love him."_

God, he was such a jerk. Why hadn't he listened to that voice before? It had been right. He _did _care for Cupid. Cupid _wasn't _a 'one-off'. He _could _actually lo -

"Juan?"

Juandissimo's eyes widened. He didn't look up. No…it couldn't be…It _couldn't! _He _refused _to believe it! But…then again…it did sound like…

Taking a moment, Juandissimo slowly lifted his head.

And there he was. Cupid. In all his pink glory. He was standing there, a little while away from Juandissimo, and he looked confused. "Juan? What're you doing here?"

The Spanish fairy was speechless. His throat felt dry and his tongue felt heavy. How…? _Why_…? Were the Gods being nice to him for once? Had they brought his love back to life?…Could they even do that?

Oh, por el amor de Dios!

Juandissimo sprinted - yes, _sprinted - _over to Cupid. He didn't think about even _trying _to float or poof himself over. He didn't _care. _As soon as he reached arms length of the God of Love, he wrapped his arms around him and held him tightly. Tears were stinging the back of his purple eyes and he willed himself not to shed them. _"Come along now, Juan. Don't ruin the moment by crying."_

_Shut up, voice._

"Juan?" Cupid said against Juandissimo's chest. He managed to tilt his head so that he could be heard properly. "Juandissimo, how'd you get here?…Juan, would you just -" He didn't get to finish because, in that moment, Juandissimo loosened his hold, cupped his face and kissed him. Cupid, of course, returned the kiss (as passionately as he could) and didn't try to stop the Spanish fairy from showing him his affection. Finally, Juandissimo's lips came away and Cupid opened his mouth to speak once more, "Juan, I asked you -"

Juandissimo claimed his mouth once more. Again, the other mouth came away. "Juan, I -"

Another kiss.

"Juan -"

Another.

"J -"

Kiss.

"Juan!" Cupid eventually managed. He wanted to sound angry, but he laughed instead. "Stop! I'm trying to talk!"

"And your voice is like a chorus of a thousand angels." Juandissimo said to him. "But your lips are as soft as an angel's wings and I cannot get enough of them."

Cupid smirked. "Well, I'm sure you can resist the temptation. Anyway, what are you doing here?"

Juandissimo's smile fell. "Do you not want me here?"

"No, that's not it. I'm glad you're here. Seriously, how'd you get here?"

Juandissimo shrugged. "I don't know." He looked to Cupid. "But, amor…how? I thought you were…"

Cupid knew he wasn't going to finish that sentence. The God of Love stared at him as the Spanish fairy smiled. "That does not matter now, does it? Because we are together again." He hugged Cupid to him. "Ah, amor…I have missed you so much."

Unbeknownst to him, Cupid wasn't smiling. Not anymore. Now, his brow was creased and his eyes were wide. "I…I missed you too, Juan. A lot."

Oh, but he knew.

He bloody _knew._

"Juan…there's something I need to tell you…"

"Ah!" Juandissimo suddenly exclaimed, an index finger shooting up into the air. He pulled away from Cupid and looked him in the eye. "Amor, there is something I need to tell you as well."

"Juan -"

"Hold on, amor. I should have said it before and, now that we are together again, I can tell you, no?"

"Juandissimo -"

"Ah, ah, ah," Juandissimo interrupted and Cupid frowned. If he wasn't so desperate, he would so totally scold him for interrupting. Pfft. Interrupting a _God…Pfft_! "Amor, I lo -"

"Juan, you're dreaming." Cupid hurriedly said.

Everything was silent as Juandissimo froze. He stared at Cupid and his smile fell. "Uh…What?"

"You're dreaming, Juan." Cupid said. "You fell asleep. You're dreaming."

Juandissimo stared, blinking a couple of times, then laughed. "Amor, that is ridiculous, really! How could you possibly believe that I'm -" He paused as he looked to Cupid again. His eyes widened.

Cupid stared at his hand, which, like the rest of his body, was beginning to fade. He looked to Juandissimo again. "I…I tried to tell you."

"But…no…" Juandissimo muttered pathetically. "Amor, no. I'm not asleep. I'm fully awake!"

"You fell asleep and you're dreaming."

"But…" Juandissimo felt the stinging at the back of his eyes again. "Amor, what will it take to have you at my side again? Who will I have to speak to?"

Cupid didn't understand what he'd meant at first, but then he realized. _The Gods. _"Juan, Gods can't bring people back to life. That's silly."

Juandissimo took Cupid's hands in his and intertwined their fingers. His heart panged when he noticed Cupid's hands were as light as feathers. "Amor…" He quickly pressed his mouth to Cupid's, hoping that that would calm his nerves, hoping that it would fix things. It didn't. He could barely feel Cupid's lips on his. As Juandissimo pulled away and stared at him, Cupid began to get blurry. At first, Juandissimo thought it was because of the fact that his lover was disappearing for a second time. Then he realized. His eyes were wet.

"Oh, Juan." Cupid muttered. "There's…There's plenty of fairies out there who would love to have you."

"But I do not want them. What is the point?" Juandissimo sucked in a breath, then frowned. "Amor, I cannot say goodbye to you. I can't and I won't."

Cupid looked at their hands. Cupid's hands were but pale light in the shape of fingers. "Juan…It's…It's just too late…"

"It's not. Stop saying that."

Cupid sighed through his nose. Slowly, he stepped back. His hands went straight through his lover's, like he was but a breeze of gentle air. Juandissimo tried reaching out for him, but Cupid just stepped back again. "Amor, please."

"Goodbye, Juan." Cupid said.

"No…!"

Cupid smiled, almost sweetly, trying to cover up the pain.

"Amor, please! I…I haven't told you!"

Cupid began to fade, quicker and quicker; colours becoming paler and paler.

"Cupid, mi amor! I love -"

And Juandissimo woke up.

He was sitting on a heart-shaped chair next to Cupid's bed. He was slouched, head on the mattress. Slowly, the Spanish fairy raised his head and looked around. The cherubs were gone and everything was silent. He looked at the object in front of him and sucked in a breath. Cupid's clothes were still there, pink dust inside of them.

It had…all been a dream. His encounter with his lover had all been just a dream. Juandissimo stared at the pink dust.

That…that _dust. _That used to be a person. Why wasn't it still a person? Staring at it, Juandissimo decided. He wasn't going to flirt anymore. No more. Not after this. His heart was too torn up. No more flirting with random women. This time, he meant it. How awful. The only time he ever stayed true to his word of not flirting with girls was _after _Cupid was dead. What a jerk he was.

It was all different now though. He wouldn't look at another girl like they'd expect him to. Love was gone now anyway. And this wasn't just a break up. This wasn't like Wanda. He could still go and see Wanda, if he wanted. He'd still see her smile and hear her voice. But Cupid…Cupid was gone. No more girly mannerisms or caffeine rushes or claims that caramel did not make him irritable. No more smiles or grins or frowns or even one of those giggles he managed to get out of the God every so often (those were his favourite. Meant he was doing something right).

Juandissimo let the tears build up. There were no cherubs around to see this. Good.

Because he let the dam burst.

Burying his face into Cupid's old shirt, he let the tears flow. "I'm sorry, amor…So sorry…"

_I'm sorry._

He had behaved so badly.

_I'm sorry._

Couldn't help it.

_I'm sorry._

He'd let everything crumble.

_I'm sorry._

He'd been so selfish.

_I'm sorry._

He was tearing at the seams.

_I'm sorry._

By now, he would apologize to anything.

_I'm sorry._

He hadn't completed that sentence sooner.

"…you."

"_Oh. If only you'd said that sooner."_

…

**Author's note:**

**Hey, look, guys! I wrote a sequel to Broken even though I said I couldn't and wouldn't!…Uh…SURPRISE!**

**Oh, the OOC-ness in this one…**

**Yeah. This…This just came to me. I've actually got a few one-shots in mind. One's gonna be put into Of Pink Hair and Spanish Flair (that'll appear later) and the others are gonna be in the one with the Antis. **

**Bet you all hate me for making him wake up before he could confess, eh? **

**That voice…it's just mocking you, isn't it, Juan? You poor thing. I've got one just like it. It **_**really **_**doesn't like me.**

**QUESTION TIME! (yeah, **_**again): **_**Out of curiosity, how would Juan tell Cupid he loved him (for the first time)? Like, you know, when he's not dead. **_**Would **_**he tell him? Probably. Would it be on a date? Would it be random? Would it be after an argument? What do you guys think? **


	14. Jealousy

**Of Pink Hair and Spanish Flair**

**I don't own the Fairly Odd Parents. Butch Hartman does.**

**I do, however, own Katie Katsworth and these versions of Anti-Cupid, Anti-Blonda and Anti-Juandissimo.**

**WARNING!: This series is about CupidxJuandissimo. Don't like, don't read.**

**Relationship: Lovers.**

**Word: Jealousy.**

…

Jealousy wasn't uncommon when it came to Juandissimo.

Girls were jealous whenever they saw him with someone else. _He _had been jealous when Cosmo and Wanda had begun dating and that negative emotion was still there. It'd died down a little since he'd begun dating Cupid, but that was beside the point.

Oh, but he was _so NOT _jealous of the boy singing on the TV. Oh, no. Definitely not.

Pfft. Who cared if Cupid was now a fan of him and had been watching him sing for the past two hours? Pfft! He was _Juandissimo Magnifico _and he was _not _jealous of _Chip Skylark. _No. No, he wasn't.

Not even when Cupid's eyes became hearts when the singer began another song. Oh, no. _Definitely _not then.

Juandissimo was floating beside the sofa in Katie's living room, where Cupid sat. Billy wasn't home again, so they were in their normal forms, out and about - no worries about being caught. Juandissimo frowned at the TV then glanced at Cupid. "Uh, mi amor. Don't you think you've watched _enough _Chip Skylark for one day?" He floated over to the table, where the remote resided, and picked it up.

Cupid glared at him. "Put. Down. That. Remote."

Juandissimo stared at him, frozen in mid air. Cupid held out a hand. "Give."

Juandissimo frowned and deposited the remote into his hand. Cupid placed it in his lap. He crossed his arms. "You are _not _turning off that TV. _I'm _watching Chip Skylark. Now, go - I dunno - make your goddaughter happy." They both paused as Chip began to sing 'My Shiny Teeth and Me' and Cupid's eyes became hearts once more. He clapped his hands together. "Cause Chip definitely makes _me _happy!"

Juandissimo approached him, smiling almost nervously, "But…don't _I_ make you happy?"

"Right now? No. You're not. Wanna make me happy? Go and see your goddaughter."

Juandissimo frowned and held up his wand, poofing away.

The Spanish fairy reappeared in Katie's bedroom. He frowned at the little girl. "Why did you let him watch that Chip Skylark DVD?"

Katie looked up at her fairy godfather from where she sat on her bed, a Crimson Chin comic book spread out before her. She pouted, "He said Chip Skylark can't sing, so I made him watch it."

Juandissimo all too remembered when Cupid had insulted the singer after Katie had played a CD far too loudly. She'd collected her DVD of Chip Skylark and held it out to him. "Watch it," She had demanded. Several times he'd said no, then she brought out the puppy-dog eyes and he'd given in (mainly because she was _still _bothering him when he'd just wanted to be alone). After seeing that the DVD went on for five hours, Cupid had almost refused once more. Then Katie had scowled and muttered, "Juandissimo, I'm in the mood to wish up a _giant spider._" and Cupid had given in for the second (and final) time.

Pfft. And he said he'd be put through torture. Hm. One hour in and he had officially become a Chip Skylark fan.

Juandissimo rolled his eyes, "Can't you just let him listen to _one song? _Not a DVD."

"With Chip Skylark, you can't just listen to _one song._"

Juandissimo crossed his arms, "I can…"

Katie stared at him for a moment, then tilted her head, "Are you jealous of a singer?"

"Of course not." Juandissimo replied.

"Well…why not? Chip is a great singer."

Juandissimo crossed his arms. "Pfft. Who cares? I am very sexy, no?" He ripped his shirt off, earning a confused look from Katie. He frowned and poofed another shirt back on. "Besides, sexy beats pretty any day."

Katie tilted her head. "What?"

"He is just a pretty boy. I am sexy _and _Spanish."

"He has nice teeth."

"Who cares?! Nobody wants to hear a song about it."

"Mister Cupid does."

Juandissimo scoffed. "I am not jealous."

"I _love _you, Chip Skylark!" They heard Cupid proclaim from downstairs.

Juandissimo scowled and gestured to the doorway. "He is telling him he loves him!"

"Well…" Katie muttered. "Get Mister Cupid's attention. Pretend to be hurt."

Juandissimo's eyebrows raised. "What?"

"I've seen it on TV. Whenever someone's hurt, their boyfriend or girlfriend is always concerned. They drop whatever they're doing to go and help. Mister Cupid should pay attention to you then, right?"

Juandissimo clicked his fingers. "¡Tienes razón!" He disappeared in a waft of purple smoke.

"You're welcome…" Katie muttered meekly.

…

Juandissimo reappeared in the kitchen. He peeked into the living room. Alright, Cupid had better pay attention to him this time. If not then…Cupid's priorities were just whacked up! Juandissimo lifted his wand and activated his magic, the golden starred-tip glowing. His right hand suddenly disappeared and he smiled. Even an obsessive fan wouldn't resist rushing over to their lover if they lost a hand. Oh, Cupid would rush over. Juandissimo knew he would. He would drop his new-found obsession for some stupid singer and rush over to Juandissimo, asking him if he was ok and hugging him with all his might. Oh, yes. That would_ totally _happen.

Juandissimo floated over to Cupid, arm extended for him to see. "Mi amor, help! I accidentally cut off my own hand!"

…Nothing. Cupid's eyes were firmly locked on the TV. Juandissimo paused, then waved his right arm in front of Cupid's face. "Hello?! Missing a hand here!" He frowned.

Cupid blinked then looked at Juandissimo out of the corner of his eye, eyebrow raised. "Did you say something, Juan?"

Juandissimo simply stared. Cupid stared back then turned his attention back to the TV. "Aren't you supposed to be upstairs with your goddaughter?"

Juandissimo scowled. Really? Didn't the God notice that he was _missing a hand? _Was that not an emergency? Fine. As Juandissimo held up his wand, prepared to poof away, Cupid said, without emotion, "Oh, by the way, you're missing a hand. Might wanna poof that back on, it'll freak Katie out."

Juandissimo didn't respond as he poofed back to his goddaughter's room. She looked up at him as he crossed his arms. "Well, _that _did not work."

"Oh. Sorry." Katie replied. She thought for a moment, then said, "Well…why don't you just do whatever it is you do when I'm not home?"

Juandissimo's eyes widened. "Uh…"

"What _do _you guys do anyway?"

Juandissimo stared for a second, creating an awkward silence, then replied, "We…play checkers…"

"Then why don't you get the board and play checkers now?"

Juandissimo's eyes widened to a point that probably wasn't healthy. "…We cannot."

"Why not?"

"…Don't have a board…"

"But you're a fairy -"

"Look, we cannot play checkers now." Juandissimo suddenly exclaimed. This conversation had gotten _way _too awkward.

Katie pursed her lips (a habit she had whenever she thought hard about something) then shrugged. "Why don't you flirt with Mister Cupid? You always say you're good-looking."

Juandissimo smiled and clicked his fingers. "You're right, mi Niña!" He poofed away.

"You're welcome…again." Katie muttered.

…

Juandissimo poofed back into the kitchen. Ok, this had to work. He was the most attractive fairy of them all. No way Cupid would ignore him this time. As Juandissimo peeked out, he paused and frowned. Cupid was now wearing a pink t-shirt with 'I LUV CHIP' written in red and white lettering. Juandissimo frowned. Oh, he was going to _kill _Skylark…

Juandissimo cleared his throat, poofed up a mirror and checked himself, then floated over to Cupid's side. "Oh, mi amor." He said flirtatiously. "What're you doing watching Señor Skylark?" He took hold of his lover's hand and pulled him up, holding him tightly. "Why don't you come to Fairy World?" He grinned, almost seductively. "_With me_?"

Cupid glanced at him. His eyes were half-lidded as he looked at the Spanish fairy. "Mmm…No, thanks."

Juandissimo's grin dropped as Cupid floated back down to the sofa, turning his attention back to the singer on the TV. Juandissimo floated in front of Cupid, blocking his view of the screen and, more importantly, of Chip Skylark. Cupid stared at him. "Mi amor, really. Why would you want to listen to Señor Skylark when you a sexy lover like me?" He flexed for the God, shirt ripping off. He leaned in and cupped Cupid's chin in one hand. "Besides, I can take you far, _far _away from here, where no one will bother us…" He waggled his eyebrows.

Cupid blinked a couple of times. "Juan,"

"Si, mi amor?"

"Could ya move? You're blocking Chip Skylark."

Juandissimo's eyes widened. He frowned, releasing Cupid's chin, and stepped to the side as though there were an imaginary floor beneath him. Cupid immediately perked up again, grinning and clasping his hands together. Juandissimo looked at him. Oh, fine. If Cupid didn't want him around then he wasn't going to waste his time. Angrily, he poofed back to his goddaughter's room; leaving Cupid alone.

…

Some time later, Cupid poofed into Katie's room in a puff of pink smoke. Katie looked up at him. "Whew. Well, I gotta say, kid, you were right. He is pretty good."

"Pretty good? I could hear you squealing, Mister Cupid."

Cupid looked down at her. "Ok, fine. So I enjoyed it. Sue me." He paused and looked over at Juandissimo, who sat on Katie's bed; back facing him. "What's up with him?"

"He's jealous of Chip Skylark."

"I am not jealous." Juandissimo said.

Katie glanced at him, then looked up at Cupid. "He's upset because you were spending all your time watching Chip Skylark and not paying attention to him."

Cupid looked to Juandissimo. He had ignored Juandissimo? Since when? Since…well, since he turned that DVD on. His brow furrowed and he floated over to Juandissimo. "Juan, you're upset just because I'm a fan of Chip Skylark?"

Juandissimo didn't reply.

"Oh, c'mon. What, now you think I prefer him over you?" He snorted. "Oh, please. Yeah, he's cute and he's got a great singing voice, but _you're _my boyfriend. He's just a pretty boy and _everyone _knows sexy beats pretty any day." Juandissimo looked up at him at this point. "Besides," Cupid continued, smiling at him. "I'm sure he can't _kiss _like you can."

Juandissimo smiled back. "Is that a hint, mi amor?"

"Uh-_huh."_

Juandissimo floated up to Cupid and wrapped his arms around the God's waist, pulling him into a kiss. Cupid wrapped his arms around the fairy's neck, kissing back.

"Ew."

Both men paused and broke the kiss, looking down at their goddaughter, who was frowning up at them. "That's gross. I'm a kid. I don't wanna see two grown-ups making out."

Juandissimo smiled and Cupid snorted. "You're gonna do this sorta stuff when you grow up, ya know."

"Yuck. Boys are gross."

"Gee, thanks." Cupid said, then smiled at her. Oh, kids were so innocent, it was kinda cute. "Now, c'mon," He waved his wand and Katie began floating above the ground. "You gotta take a bath."

Katie frowned and crossed her arms. "Fine…" Then she paused, eyes widening. "Oh, wait!" She jumped to the ground. "Juandissimo, I wish I had a checker set!"

Juandissimo waved his wand and a checker board and pieces appeared in Katie's hands. She laid the board on the floor, then spilled the pieces on to the floor. "Here you go, guys. Now you can play checkers again."

Cupid raised an eyebrow as she turned and walked into the bathroom, closing the door behind her. Cupid looked to his lover. "Checkers? Since when do we play checkers?"

Juandissimo only chuckled nervously.

…

A bell sounded throughout the house and Anti-Cupid groaned slightly. Here he was, in his favourite armchair with a cup of tea and a good book, and they dared to interrupt him! He huffed and got up, putting his book and tea on the table. Angrily, the Anti-God floated down the corridor. "If this is Anti-Cosmo, I'm gonna slam the door in _his face. _I don't care what he does to me…" He poofed up a smoking pipe and put it to his mouth. He never smoked the thing, bless him, he simply liked to nibble on the mouth piece. It calmed him, somewhat, and relaxed him when he was thinking up plans for next Anti-Valentine's Day. Using his vampire-like canines to bite down on the mouth piece, he opened the door. Seeing his visitor, he took the smoking pipe away from his mouth and said, "Anti-Blonda."

Anti-Blonda stood in front of him, hands behind her back. She was grinning, displaying her crooked, broken teeth. She was no where near as good-looking as her counterpart, who was a star in Fairywood, but she did look quite a lot like the Anti-Wanda, with black hair instead of blue. "H-Hiya, Anti-Cupid." She greeted hesitantly. "I-I gots ya these here flowers." She removed her hands from behind her back and showed him the bouquet of black and blue flowers, all slightly wilted.

Anti-Cupid stared at them, smoking pipe back in his mouth. He didn't quite know why Anti-Blonda brought him things like this, but, you know, the attention was kinda nice. "Thank you." Anti-Cupid said carefully, taking the flowers in one hand. He put a hand to the front door. "You have a horrible day now." Coming from Anti-Cupid, that meant he pretty much wished her the best day ever. Carefully, he shut the door (Anti-God or not, he didn't want to be rude).

Anti-Blonda clasped her hands together and sighed dreamily. "He said 'thank you'!" She turned and floated away, black love hearts floating around her head.

What neither of them noticed during the ordeal was the Anti-Fairy looked at them through the window next to them, face and palms pressed against the glass. He pouted unhappily then floated after the Anti-Cupid. Anti-Cupid noticed his presence and looked at the flowers, staring at them with his blood red eyes. "These…are a sign of affection…" After a moment, he frowned. "I don't get it."

Anti-Juandissimo crossed his arms. "I don't like her, Anti-Cupid."

"And why is that?"

"I just don't."

"Is it because she looks like the Anti-Wanda?" Anti-Cupid asked.

"No…" Anti-Juandissimo muttered.

"Then what other reason could ya possibly have to dislike her?"

"She's…not nice…"

Anti-Cupid frowned. "You're Anti-Fairies. You're not supposed to be nice. Besides, you like me and I'm an Anti-God. I'm a member of - probably - the most hated race in history."

"I still don't like her…"

Anti-Cupid rolled his eyes. "Whether you like her or not does not concern me, Anti-Juandissimo. She brings me…_adequate _things and I kinda enjoy the attention."

"I give you attention." Anti-Juandissimo said.

"_Too _much attention." Anti-Cupid placed the bouquet on the table. "I'm going to go and find a nice vase for these." With a wave of his black wand, he disappeared, leaving the Italian Anti-Fairy with the flowers.

Anti-Juandissimo frowned at them. Why did Anti-Blonda keep giving his Anti-Cupid gifts? _He _was the one living with the Anti-God! _Their _counterparts were _dating! _Surely, that meant that Anti-Blonda would have to leave them alone. Anti-Juandissimo's purple eyes - which matched his counterpart's - narrowed. He didn't know what this negative feeling in his tummy was, but he didn't like it - almost as much as he disliked Anti-Wanda and Anti-Blonda. Holding up his wand, he activated his magic and the flowers suddenly caught fire. He smirked proudly. Ha! Take that, people who think he and Anti-Cupid shouldn't be together!

Then Anti-Juandissimo realized his mistake. What would Anti-Cupid say when he saw the flowers in such bad shape? He would kill him! Thinking hard (and this kinda hurt his head), Anti-Juandissimo thought of an idea and poofed away.

Just then, Anti-Cupid poofed back into the room. He held a triangular vase in both hands. Suddenly, the smell of burning reached his nostrils and he looked up. It certainly wasn't Anti-Juandissimo's cooking. The Anti-Fairy was pretty good with food. His eyes caught sight of the burning flowers and yelped, quickly whipping out his wand and putting out the fire. The Anti-God of Hatred stared at them.

Suddenly, Anti-Juandissimo poofed back into the room, covered in dirt and mud. Anti-Cupid looked up at him. "Did you do this?"

Anti-Juandissimo shrugged. "I dunno."

"How do you not know?"

"I think I might have."

Anti-Cupid scowled, nose scrunching up in anger. Before he could scold Anti-Juandissimo, the Anti-Fairy thrust his fist toward him. Anti-Cupid stared as clumps of dirt fell from the roots of the flowers Anti-Juandissimo was clutching in his hand. "Here you go, Anti-Cupid!"

Anti-Cupid stared then scoffed. "Oh, please. Why would I use your flowers?" He picked up the burnt bouquet. "Whatever you did, you made them better!" He gently placed the flowers into the vase.

Anti-Juandissimo stared. Sensing a disturbance, Anti-Cupid looked over his shoulder at the Anti-Fairy and saw tears in his purple eyes. He sniffled as a tear began to trickle down his cheek. "Don't you d -"

Anti-Juandissimo suddenly began sobbing loudly, like a baby that wanted attention. Anti-Cupid cringed as his pointed ears picked up the noise. Oh, curse him for having better hearing then the other 'anti-creatures'! "Alright, fine! Shut up!"

Anti-Juandissimo paused and stared, sniffling and hiccupping. Anti-Cupid snatched his flowers from him, stuffing them into the vase. "Your flowers are kinda…_adequate _too…"

Anti-Juandissimo sniffled. "Really?"

"Yeah, sure. Why not?"

Anti-Juandissimo smiled widely, his tears gone, and he clasped his hands together. "Yay!" He exclaimed, then threw his arms around the Anti-Cupid, hugging him tightly in that signature way of his.

"You _dolt!_" Anti-Cupid exclaimed. "Get off of me!"

"I like you too, Anti-Cupid! You're my best friend!"

"Friend? I don't have any friends!"

"You have me! We're gonna be together forever and ever and _ever_!"

"Ah! _GOOD EMOTIONS!_ _BURNING!_"

"I know, Anti-Cupid! I feel 'em too!"

Anti-Cupid quickly poofed up his pipe and began nibbling on the end frantically. Oh, Gods, why wasn't this thing making the good emotions _go away?! _Suddenly, the spasms kicked in and he screamed again.

"You're my best friend, Anti-Cupid!"

"_SHUT UP! YOU'RE MAKING IT _WORSE!_"_

…

**Author's note:**

**Epic smoking pipe is epic. **

**Smoking pipes make anyone seem cool, even the Anti-Cupid. **

**Juan, you're a hypocrite. You flirted with Britney-Britney in the episode Truth or Cosmoquences and you sang about how sexy you are in Fairy Idol. **_**Hypocrite.**_

**And, yes, Katie. Your god-daddies so totally play checkers while you're gone. They really do.**

**NEWS UPDATE!: Half term has started, which means a whole week off! During this time, I will write as much as I can of this series. My DVDs of Season five and seven turned up the other day and I watched the entire fifth series (I have yet to finish the seventh). I WATCHED FAIRY IDOL AND CRIED LAUGHING. Yes, really. I'm sorry but…I did. Cupid and Juan were hilarious and so was Cosmo (as always). Cupid…you said hello to your 'mommy' on live TV. Dear God, and you call Cosmo a mummy's boy. *Ahem* I must also tell you that I am planning a story based upon Fairy Idol. All that I will tell you is that I have parodied the song 'Gimme the Wand' (it's still called that, but…yeah) and my version of it is a duet battle between…*Gasps* Anti-Cupid and Cupid, with Anti-Cupid doing Norm's part and Cupid doing Cosmo's (and Wanda's brief line)! It's probably the quickest time I've parodied a song (since I parodied it the same day I watched Fairy Idol), but - in my defence - I only changed the parts that needed to be changed. **

**Speaking of story planning, I am also planning my Christmas one-shot that I do every year (yeah, I'm one of those writers who feel the need to write something about Christmas). Hm? What? Yes, of course it's CupidxJuandissimo! Hm? Do the Antis appear? Uh…no. They don't. But there's CosmoxWanda! I, uh, don't write enough about those two. The Antis do, however, appear in my other story - which will be posted for Valentine's Day. So far, it's called 'The War of Two Cupids', so I suppose you can guess what it's about. **

**Ahem. Yes, that's the news. Fabulous, isn't it?**

**QUESTION TIME! (it's linked to the last 'question time', so hush): How do you think Cupid would react to Juan saying that? Admit his feelings too? Blush? Give out a girly squeal we all know he's capable of making? What do ya think?**

**The only other thing I can say is that I feel like a traitor, since I listened to Chip Skylark as I wrote this. *Sighs* Sorry, Juan. **

***Singing* **_**Gimme a review! It'll make me happy! Gimme a review! Doesn't have to be snappy! Gimme a review! Da-do-da-dee! Even if it's just a massive 'boo!', you can gimme a review!**_

…**Sorry. Catchy song is catchy.**


	15. Crossover

**Of Pink Hair and Spanish Flair**

**I don't own Fairly Odd Parents. Butch Hartman does.**

**Nor do I own the idea or song that appear in this one-shot. Tim Burton and Danny Elfman do.**

**WARNING!: This series is about CupidxJuandissimo. Don't like, don't read.**

**Relationship: Friends to lovers.**

**Word: Crossover.**

…

Reality could be so harsh sometimes. Unrequited love…even more so. Cupid had already found that out.

The town behind him were in cheers at the day's events. Cupid himself felt a little happy. Everything was ok, every_one _was ok, Anti-Cupid had been defeated and Juandissimo had righted his mistakes.

Ah. Juandissimo.

Cupid's stitched lips fell further into a frown. Juandissimo Magnifico, the sexiest (at least, in his words) fairy in Fairy World, had screwed everything up. Gotten bored, discovered something new and tried to take over everything. Still, at least he knew he'd done something wrong. Now he did anyway. See? If he had listened to Cupid, all of this would not have happened. But _no. _No one listened to the man in the diaper, now did they?

Cupid winced. The snow was cold and crisp beneath his bare feet, but his wings were too tired to help him up into the air. His suit and diaper - made of patchwork - didn't exactly fight the cold. Oh, well.

In his right hand, Cupid held a rose. It had almost completely frozen over in the cold (see? Valentine's Day wasn't cold. Why? Because it was the best holiday ever, _duh_). Sad, really. He was practically holding an icicle.

Cupid stepped up the snow-covered hill. Heavens knows where this thing came from. It was twisted and curly, but gave a bloody good view of the moon and the pumpkin patch. He sat down on the top of the hill and began to pick the crisp petals from the flower.

The two had been friends for quite awhile, but nothing had really happened between them. Why should it? Juandissimo obviously wasn't interested. He liked girls, anyway. Feminine or not, Cupid was still male. Besides, who'd ever heard of a relationship between a God and a fairy? No one. Why? Because things like that don't work out. Well, Cupid wouldn't want to say _that. _He'd set up some pretty weird people in his time.

Cupid considered it. Taking a love arrow and shoving it into Juandissimo's body would be easy, and so would the consequences. Having Juandissimo on his arm would be perfect. It would be exactly what he wanted. Why shouldn't he have what he wanted? He deserved it. After all he'd done for everyone. If it weren't for him, Juandissimo probably wouldn't have defeated the Anti-Cupid. It was the love arrows Cupid had tossed to Juandissimo. The Spanish fairy had missed at first and the Anti-God of Hatred had laughed at him, but that had given Juandissimo the perfect chance to shoot. The arrow had hit Anti-Cupid straight in the chest, right on his cold heart. It wasn't the arrow that had harmed him - it was the good emotions spreading throughout his body. Good emotions made him spasm, but too much good emotion would make him faint - and that's exactly what had happened. But before he could fall to his death in lava, Anti-Juandissimo had poofed up a net and had caught him. Incidents like that were the very reason Da Rules stated that Cupid and Anti-Cupid weren't allowed to shoot their arrows at one another. But, hey, it hadn't been Cupid who'd shot him, so Cupid probably wouldn't get into trouble.

Still, that didn't matter now, did it? Everyone was safe and sound (well, except the Anti-Cupid, obviously) and everything was ok. Cupid sighed through his nose as he pulled off the last petal, then leaned forward to see if a sweet scent was still attached to the flower.

_My dearest friend, if you don't mind,_

Cupid paused and looked over his shoulder. Juandissimo Magnifico was standing at the base of the hill, singing. Cupid looked back, checking to see if anyone had suddenly appeared in front of him. No. No one was there.

_I'd like to join you by your side,_

Cupid looked back to the Spanish fairy and pointed to himself and Juandissimo gave a small nod. So, it was true. This hunk of a fairy - dressed in a pinstriped suit with skeleton face paint - was singing to _him_. Cupid smiled and stood up as Juandissimo began to climb the hill.

_Where we can gaze into the stars,_

Cupid began to sing with him. This was what he had waited for wasn't it?

_And sit together, now and forever,_

_For it is plain as anyone can see,_

As he reached him, Juandissimo took his hands in his; gently pressing his forehead to Cupid's. They smiled at one another as they stared into each other's eyes.

_We're simply meant to be…_

Their hands lowered and they stepped closer to each other. Juandissimo's arms wrapped around Cupid's waist and Cupid's arms went around the Spanish fairy's neck - almost on their own. The two leaned in and joined their lips in a kiss - one that both had waited for.

Above them, a green ghost dog flew up to the stars. Long, ribbon-like ears flowed out from its head of green hair and its muzzle was topped with a star-shaped nose. It flew rings around the couple. The spinning would've been almost sweet, had it not been for its loud and happy exclamation of, "_Wee!"_

"Cosmo!" Juandissimo shouted up, breaking the kiss with the God. "Stop that! You're ruining the moment!"

Cosmo looked down at them, "Oh! Sorry!" He smiled. "Hi, Cupid!"

Cupid didn't respond and simply frowned. All this and a _dog _ruined the moment. _Great. _He looked back to Juandissimo, who was smiling at him. The two leaned in for another kiss but then -

"Hey, Juandissimo! I can see your house from here!"

…

**Author's note:**

**Happy Halloween, everyone!**

**This is what happens when you mix my two greatest obsessions. My three favourite Fairly Odd Parents characters become my three favourite Nightmare Before Christmas characters. Oh, it's great!**

**I got Crossover on my list and immediately thought of Tim Burton's The Nightmare Before Christmas. Cause this song so totally applies to them. But I have no idea what Juan could've gotten bored of/discovered. I'd write the entire story but…yeah, don't know what he got tired of. Would be hilarious, though, to watch Juan run around Christmas Town, singing **_**What's This?**_

**Hm? What's that? Why is Juan Jack when Cupid is a holiday leader? Juan seems more likely to be Jack (in my mind). I doubt Cupid would get tired of Valentine's Day, since it promotes the thing that keeps him alive. Juan also seems more likely to sing about his problems. Besides, I think we can all agree - if we had to pick someone - Cupid would be the 'girl part'. He's more…feminine. Plus, I imagined Juan in Jack's suit first so, yeah, he wins. **

**Cosmo is Zero simply because I wanted that part at the end. That whole 'ruin the moment' situation. I wish I could write more about Cosmo and Wanda, I really do. But I just can't think of anything. I mean, I've got my Christmas one-shot coming up but…yeah. Can't think of anything that would star Cosmo and Wanda. **

**Yeah, Anti-Cupid is Oogie Boogie. Why? Cause he just seems to fit the part. Plus, ya know, epic Juandissimo vs. Anti-Cupid showdown! And Anti-Cupid singing the Oogie Boogie song…Ha! Anti-Juan, I'd imagine, would be Barrel from the trio. **

**So, to end this one-shot, I will show you all somethin' that I wrote - out of boredom - a lil' while back. Goes to the end of **_**This is Halloween:**_

_**Anti-Cupid might shoot you in the hip**_

_**With a hate arrow**_

_**Hate will flow through your blood!**_

_**Anti-Valentine's **_

_**Everybody scream!**_

_**Won't ya please make way for a very special guy?**_

_**Anti-Cupid is king of hatred**_

_**Everyone hail to Cupid's counterpart now!**_

_**Anti-Valentine's, Anti-Valentine's,**_

_**Anti, Anti, Anti, Anti!**_

_**He's an Anti-God, who breaks hearts**_

_**And is pretty good at ripping them apart!**_

_**La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, **_

_**La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, **_

_**Whoo!**_


	16. Shelf

**Of Pink Hair and Spanish Flair**

**I don't own Fairly Odd Parents. Butch Hartman does.**

**WARNING!: This series is about CupidxJuandissimo. Don't like, don't read.**

**Relationship: Lovers.**

**Word: Shelf.**

…

"Amor, what're you doing?"

Cupid didn't look at Juandissimo from where he sat on the floor, surrounded by cardboard boxes. In his hands, he held a few pink and white cards. "Oh, nothing. Just sorting through some stuff."

Juandissimo floated over to the boxes, glancing at each one of them. All of them contained trinkets and items which seemed like…gifts someone would give to their lovers. Juandissimo raised an eyebrow and peeked inside one box. Inside were a few empty boxes (which looked like they once contained chocolate), several books (one called 'Photo Album', which Juandissimo _almost _looked at) and…a snow globe? Juandissimo's brow scrunched up and he picked up the snow globe, shaking it swiftly. Inside, pink sparkles floated around the little, plastic love heart that was perched on a tiny podium. Juandissimo raised an eyebrow then looked to Cupid, who was reading a note. "What is all of this?"

"Just stuff I've been given over the years." Cupid replied. He gestured to an open closet with his thumb. "It was all in there." Juandissimo looked around and finally noticed that every box was marked with a name, written in black marker. The Spanish fairy looked to the box he had previously been looking in. _James. _Juandissimo felt a surge of…anger? wave over him. Who was 'James' and _why _was he giving Cupid gifts? Especially ones that had hearts on them!

The Spanish fairy looked to his lover. "Who are these people?"

"Lovers."

Juandissimo froze and frowned. "Wait, what?"

"Oh, you know. People who have given me gifts and stuff. Don't worry, they're in the past."

Juandissimo didn't feel any better. Cupid had kept all of this stuff? Even the old boxes that once contained candy? Why would he do that? Sentimental value? Memory's sake? The Spanish fairy floated around, checking every name on each box.

_Jack, David, Psyche, Dante…_

Where was _his _box?

Juandissimo floated over to the closet that the boxes had previously been packed into. He checked the shelf, looking for another cardboard box. Finally, his purple eyes caught sight of a - slightly battered - cardboard box in the corner and - Oh, look! He could see a J! Smiling widely, he zipped over to it. His smile dropped as he turned the box around. _Jacques. _

The Spanish fairy frowned then floated back over to Cupid. Taking another glance around, he asked, "Uh, amor…Where is _my _box?"

Cupid snorted, almost in amusement. "You don't have a box. Why would you have a box?"

Juandissimo's eyes widened and his shoulders sagged. He didn't have a box? Why didn't he have a box? Were his gifts not good enough? Was Cupid annoyed at him or something? Why would he be? Juandissimo hadn't flirted with Wanda for…how long? A week?…Maybe. It'd been _long enough. _He was getting _better. _

So _why, _pray tell, didn't he have a _box _when he these other - less sexy - people had _boxes?! _

Oh, well. He'd get a box soon. He would make sure of it.

…

The next morning, Cupid made it down to his kitchen, following some delicious smell that had wafted throughout the house. Dressed in his pink bathrobe, he peeked into the kitchen, only to see his lover at the stove. He raised an eyebrow. He'd been curious when there had just been an empty space next to him when he woke up. "Juan?"

Juandissimo spun around, spatula in one hand. "Good morning, amor!" He was unusually chipper, Cupid noticed, and had his hair untied from its ponytail. An apron - as white as snow - protected his clothes from harm. Cupid stared confusedly.

Now, since it was the early morning and he hadn't had his usual cup of java, Cupid was in no mood for Juandissimo's antics. But he just _had _to ask, "Are you wearing a pink shirt?"

Sure enough, Juandissimo's shirt - which was usually as white as the apron he was wearing - was dark pink - the same shade as Timmy Turner's shirt and hat. "Si." Juandissimo replied. "I have finally taken your advice! And I _love it!" _Although it was an exclamation, it sounded almost forced.

Cupid stared. An on-going 'argument' between the two was Juandissimo constant comments that Cupid should wear pants (insisting that they would make him 'muy, muy mucho sexy') and Cupid would counter by telling Juandissimo to wear pink. Cupid had mainly said it just because he needed something to counter Juandissimo's insistent comments, but he didn't think the Spanish fairy would ever take his 'advice'! "Uh…ok." Cupid muttered.

Juandissimo put his spatula into the front pocket of his apron then grabbed a mug and a pot of coffee from the counter. The mug was filled to the brim with coffee and Juandissimo held it out for Cupid to take. Cupid did so, then took a sip from it. The caffeinated goodness soothed some of his anger, but it didn't erase his curiosity. "This isn't my mug." Cupid said, observing the pink and white striped mug in his hands.

"You're right," Juandissimo said. "It is the one I bought for you."

Cupid looked at him. "When did you buy this?"

"This morning. I saw it and I thought of you. Now, sit down, amor!" He led Cupid to one of the chairs that sat by the table. "I made you breakfast." He rushed over to the frying pan and used the spatula to scoop three pancakes onto a plate. The Spanish fairy laid the plate in front of his lover, who eyed them suspiciously.

"Wait." Cupid said. "You made these?"

"Of course." Juandissimo said.

"But…"

"But what?"

Cupid wanted to say 'But they're not moving!' or 'But they're not groaning or growing teeth!'. He'd seen his fair share of Juandissimo's cooking and most of those attempts turned out that way. Instead, Cupid picked up a fork. "Uh…nothing." He poked a pancake experimentally, checking for any signs of life. Well, it wasn't trying to bite his hand off, so that must've meant something went right that morning! Cupid took the bottle of syrup Juandissimo was offering and drenched his pancakes in the sweet, golden goodness. He cut off a piece then bravely popped it into his mouth and chewed. The God's eyes widened as he ate. These pancakes had - oh, what was it called…? Hm…Oh, yeah - _flavour_! Juandissimo pulled the other chair from the table, twirled it around, then sat down; resting his arms on the back of the chair. "Happy, amor?"

"Mm-hm." Cupid replied through his mouthful. He paused when his eyes caught something and he quickly gulped down his mouthful so that he could talk properly, "Those aren't my salt and pepper shakers."

Juandissimo looked at said items. Cupid's salt and pepper shakers were shaped like love arrows, but these ones were shaped like wands. "Oh, I know. I bought you new ones this morning. Do you like them?"

Cupid stared. "What _else _did you buy me this morning?"

Juandissimo smiled widely. "Do you want to see your new suit?"

Cupid almost choked. "My new what?"

Juandissimo snatched his wand from his pocket and held it up. A suit poofed into the room and Cupid gaped at it, "Why is it _blue?"_

Juandissimo glanced at the powder blue suit that hovered above him, "I thought you'd look good in blue," he shrugged. "Would you like it in white?" He twirled his wand and the suit faded into a milky white.

Cupid blinked a few times. "How 'bout _pink?_"

"But you always wear pink."

Cupid frowned. "Alright, stop." Juandissimo's smile fell. "What is with all the gifts? Are you trying to tell me something? Or just smother me?" Cupid rolled his eyes. "At this rate, I won't have any where to put them."

"Oh, you're right." Juandissimo said, nodding. "Perhaps you could put them in some sort of container like - maybe - a box." He drew a square in the air with two fingers. "You know, a nice, cardboard box…that you could put on a shelf…in a _closet, _maybe…and perhaps write my name on the _side _of the box."

Cupid stared, blinking a few times as the cogs turned. It finally hit him and he rolled his eyes, "Oh, my - Is _that _what this is about? You're upset that you don't have a box?"

"Well, upset is a strong way to put it -"

"Juan, do you know _why _you don't have a box?" Before Juandissimo could reply, Cupid explained, "When I said 'they're in the past', I _meant it. _All those people are _ex-lovers, _Juan!"

"So…" Juandissimo muttered as he thought about it. "I do not have a box…because we are still dating…"

"_Yes._" Cupid said. "Mom always told me to keep the gifts, so I have." There was an almost uncomfortable silence before Cupid spoke again, "Why did you _think _I didn't you give you a box?"

Juandissimo averted his eyes. "Ah…no reason."

"What? Did you think I didn't like your gifts or something?"

"…Maybe."

Cupid snorted, "Oh, please. I love your gifts." Juandissimo smiled as Cupid took another bite out of the pancakes. "Alright," He said as he finished swallowing, "'fess up. Who really made these?"

"The cherubs." Juandissimo answered. "I just put them on a plate."

Cupid smiled in amusement and Juandissimo could've sworn he heard a short giggle. "By the way, Juan,"

"Yes, my sweet?"

Cupid pointed his fork at him, almost threateningly. "You ever mess with my clothes again and you'll _never _get a box. _No one _messes with my clothes." He smiled again and his sweet tone was back, "But do you know what would make me happy?"

"What?"

"If you promise to wear _that," _He gestured to Juandissimo's pink shirt with a wave of his fork. "More often."

Juandissimo looked down at it in consideration. While he enjoyed his white shirt better, he supposed the pink one wasn't so bad. "Ah…perhaps I could wear it on weekends."

"Works for me." Cupid shrugged. "I told you pink would look good on you. Pink looks good on everybody."

Juandissimo chuckled and took Cupid's free hand in his. "Don't you just love how honest we are with each other?" Cupid asked, almost sarcastically, slicing off another piece of pancake and popping it into his mouth.

Juandissimo kissed the back of Cupid's hand, "Right now, all I love is you."

Cupid almost choked on his pancakes for a second time. His fork fell to the plate with a clatter and he turned to Juandissimo, "What?"

"Uh…bacon!" Juandissimo exclaimed, poofing up a plate of bacon for himself. "Right now, all I love is bacon! Like me, it is _muy caliente_." He chuckled nervously and tucked into his own breakfast. Cupid pursed his lips in thought, then shrugged it off.

A confession like that was for another day.

…

**Author's note:**

**Ah, some good ol' fluff.**

**I would've finished this sooner, but my laptop died. I bought a new one and - luckily - was able to transfer all of my old documents onto the new one. So, no heart attacks, please, cause the 100 words and other stories are safe. :D**

**Part of this idea comes from the comment in Live for the Chase, when it says Cupid's mother always told him to keep the gifts. Oh, look. He has. **

**Juandissimo wearing a pink shirt is a reference to the episode Birthday Bashed. While he was disguised as Timmy, he wore a pink version of his usual shirt and I thought it looked pretty good on him - even better then his white shirt. Since it's pink, I thought Cupid might like it too. Juandissimo's mention of bacon is a small reference to the episode Hard Copy, in which Wanda tempts Cosmo to stop hiding from the doctor by poofing up some bacon - and Juandissimo. **_**And **_**his muy caliente line is from Stupid Cupid.**

**And, of course, there's a reference to mythology in there somewhere. See if you can spot it. **

**Ugh. Need to get used to this new keyboard…**


	17. Magic

**Of Pink Hair and Spanish Flair**

**I don't own Fairly Odd Parents. Butch Hartman does.**

**I do, however, own Katie Katsworth.**

**WARNING!: This series is about CupidxJuandissimo. Don't like, don't read.**

**Relationship: Lovers**

**Word: Magic.**

…

When Juandissimo woke up that morning, he was greeted by a giant pair of hazel eyes. "Gah!" The fairy - disguised as a purple puppy - exclaimed in surprise.

"Hi, Juandissimo." Katie said, leaning over the dog bed and staring at her godfather closely.

"Mi Niña, do you not know how to wake somebody up gently?" Juandissimo asked.

"Sorry." Katie replied, then tilted her head. "Where's Mister Cupid?"

Juandissimo looked over at Cupid's side of the dog bed and noticed the emptiness. He stood up on his small legs and shook himself. "Shooting arrows."

"Doesn't he only do that on Valentine's Day?"

"Oh, no. That is just 'his day'." Juandissimo poofed into his normal form and floated above the little dog bed.

"When is he gonna be back?" Katie asked. "I miss him."

Juandissimo thought for a second. Katie was used to her parents abandoning her for something else, to the point that she grew to miss her godparents too much when they were gone. If they were gone too long, Katie would worry that they'd left her (which they had learned from experience). "He'll be back soon, I'm sure."

Katie pouted. A thought struck her and she looked up at her godfather, "Juandissimo, did Mister Cupid use a love arrow on you?"

"No."

"So…how did you two get together?"

"We kissed at a party."

"Wow. Really?"

Juandissimo nodded.

"And…you liked him before then?"

"Kind of."

Katie raised an eyebrow and tilted her head. "Then…who's Wanda?"

"Uh…What?"

"Who's Wanda? Mister Cupid talked about her once."

Juandissimo's eyes widened. "And what did he say?"

Katie's eyes widened - just like Juandissimo's had - and she shifted uncomfortably. "…Mommy says I'm not allowed to use that kind of language…"

Juandissimo's shoulders sagged. He had flirted with Wanda last week, but he didn't know Cupid had actually been _that _angry. Cupid never cursed. Katie looked back up at her godfather. "So who is she?"

Juandissimo smiled and folded his hands. "The most beautiful senorita in the world…and my ex-girlfriend."

"Oh. When did you guys date?"

"High school. I lost her to Cosmo."

"Cosmo? Who's Cosmo?"

Juandissimo waved his wand and a picture of the green-haired fairy appeared in his hand. Katie stared at the picture. "That's Cosmo?"

"Si."

"…I like his hair."

Juandissimo frowned. Oh, great. That was what Wanda had said too…

"Like whose hair?"

Katie turned to see Cupid floating behind her, a quiver of arrows tied to his back and a pink bow in his hand. The seven year old smiled happily. "Mister Cupid!" She exclaimed, jumping up and down. She held out her arms, but Cupid stopped her.

"Don't hug me." He said. "Do you know how difficult it is to get two teenagers to fall in love? They kept moving, I could barely get a shot!" There was a beat, then he smiled and held up his bow, shaking it. "But I got it!"

Katie giggled. Her eyes found the quiver of arrows. "Are those your arrows? Can I try one? Please?"

"Oh, no way!" Cupid exclaimed, holding the arrows away from her. "Everything went wrong the last time a kid got their hands on my arrows! And, before that, I fell in love with Mama Cosma!"

Juandissimo paused, his brow furrowing. "…You fell in love with Cosmo's _mother?_"

Katie put her hands over her mouth to stop from laughing and only managed a cute smile. Cupid rolled his eyes, "Like I _wanted _to!" He exclaimed. "It was Turner's fault!" He looked back to Katie and his eyes widened. She was giving him the ol' puppy-dog eyes. He shook his head and crossed his arms, eyes shutting. "Nope. No way." Katie's bottom lip began to quiver.

Now, Cupid had had a pretty bad day (what with those teenagers who refused to be victims of love), so he didn't need a seven year old begging for his love arrows. He looked back at her and groaned, shoulders sagging and eyes rolling heavenwards. "Fine." He picked a love arrow from the quiver and held it up. "_One arrow. Just one. _That's all you're getting, little miss." He handed it to her, then gave her the pink bow.

Katie smiled and pulled the string on the bow. "Don't break it." Cupid warned her. Katie put the arrow to the string. "And fire that somewhere else. But be careful." Cupid added.

Katie pulled back the string as Cupid continued talking. "If those arrows end up in the wrong butt -"

She let the arrow go and it zipped off, pinging off of the bin, off of the wall…

" - you could ruin somebody's life. You hear me - Gah!"

…And into Cupid's butt.

Katie watched as love hearts swarmed in Cupid's eyes. She should've counted herself as lucky. Cupid was looking in Juandissimo's direction. Nothing wrong with that. They were already dating. Cupid would probably be all over Juandissimo, hugging him and kissing him, and she highly doubted Juandissimo would object to any of it.

Cupid's expression went from surprised to dopey and he uttered dreamily, "_Cosmo_…"

Juandissimo and Katie froze. "Wait. What?" Juandissimo said, then looked down at the picture of Cosmo in his hands. He smiled at Cupid, almost nervously, and asked, "Uh…Cupid, my sweet, don't you mean 'Juandissimo'?"

Cupid ignored him as he snatched the picture of Cosmo from him and held it up. "Oh, Cosmo! Why didn't I notice how _cute _you are _before_?!" He gave the picture a loud kiss and Juandissimo's jaw dropped. "In fact, I'm comin' to ya right now, handsome!" He held up his wand as the star began to glow, then disappeared in a puff of pink smoke.

"No!" Juandissimo exclaimed, reaching out for him and failing miserably to catch him. "My life is _ruined_!"

Katie cringed as Juandissimo turned to her, arms crossed and scowling. "I'm really sorry, Juandissimo! I didn't mean to!" She sniffled. "Is he gonna be ok?"

"Maybe, but _I _won't be!" Juandissimo lifted an arm and pointed to the sky in the most determined way a small fairy can. "I will not lose another pink-haired querido to _Cosmo!_"

Katie smiled. "So…you have a way to fix this?"

Juandissimo looked at her. "Well, I never said that."

Katie's smile fell. "Doesn't Mister Cupid have anything? Like Anti-love arrows?"

"Oh, he only had those for a little while." Juandissimo said. "Like a 'trial-run' or something."

Katie pondered, a finger to her chin. "Well…Mommy used to say that love died when someone's heart was broken…Would Cosmo break Mister Cupid's heart?"

"No, but -" Juandissimo paused. His eyes widened when an idea struck him. "Break his heart…That is it!" He flew down to Katie and grasped her shoulders. "Mí Niña, you are a genius!"

"Uh…Thanks." Katie said. "But why?"

"I will explain later." Juandissimo held up his wand with a grin and disappeared in a puff of purple smoke.

…

A puff of pink smoke later and the God of Love appeared in Timmy Turner's bedroom. He was immediately greeted by a smile and a pair of green eyes. "Hi, Cupid!" Cosmo exclaimed happily, giving him a wave.

Cupid grinned and clasped his hands together, love hearts in his eyes. "Cosmo!" He zipped forward, tongue hanging out like a dog's, and hugged him tightly. "I'm so glad to see you!"

Cosmo's smile dropped slightly. "Uh…Thanks, Cupid." Cosmo tilted his head in confusion, raising an eyebrow. "What're you doing here?"

"I came here to see you," He grinned and poked the green-haired fairy on the nose. "_Silly_!" Cupid rested his chin in his hands and gazed at the fairy in front of him. Oh…that green hair…so much better then Juandissimo's black hair…and those eyes…Meh. Green was better then purple anyway. And cute was much better then sexy. "So, where is everyone?"

"Wanda's out with her friends, Poof's spending some time at Mama's and Timmy's at school!" Cosmo replied.

"So…you're all alone?"

"Well, you're here now!" Cosmo corrected. Hm. Funny. Cosmo correcting someone…

Cupid giggled. "Uh-huh…" He grinned and kept back the squeal that threatened to escape his throat. Oh, that voice… "What d'ya wanna do now?" He asked, waggling his eyebrows in the same way Juandissimo used to do to him.

Cosmo looked confused this time, raising an eyebrow higher then before. "You wanna spend time with me?"

"Well, duh." Cupid smiled. "Why else would I be here, silly?"

"But…the last time we saw each other, you said I creeped you out…"

Cupid frowned momentarily. He remembered the last time he had invited Timmy Turner and his fairies to one of his parties. The only reason he'd even considered inviting them was because Timmy had saved them from the Eliminators and set Fairy World free. Otherwise, he wouldn't have even thought about them. Why would he? They'd treated him poorly last time he'd invited them to his party (ok, so he'd tricked them in to doing his shopping. Who cared?! Juandissimo had been there and look where they were now!). They were _lucky _to be invited. Anyway, as Timmy and his fairies greeted him, Cosmo had made a joke (or, at least, Cupid thought it was a joke) that he, Wanda, Cupid and Juandissimo could be 'groupies!'. "Ya know, since you guys are together and you like us now!" he'd exclaimed.

"Actually," Cupid had said unenthusiastically, "you just creep me out." Cosmo's smile had dropped. Then Juandissimo had floated over, placing his hands on Cupid's shoulders, and praised him on his comment. Cupid almost scoffed. Why had he wasted his time on Juandissimo - the fairy who had no problem flirting with other fairies in front of Cupid - when someone like Cosmo had been around? Cupid smiled again and grasped Cosmo's shoulders. "Oh, that was the _old _Cupid. The _new _Cupid _loves you!"_

Cosmo smiled. Coming from Cupid, 'I love you' must be the biggest compliment ever! "Well, the _carnival's _in town!"

"Perfect!" Cupid chirped, clasping his hands together. Cosmo held up his wand as Cupid hugged his bicep, love hearts floating around his head (which somehow went unnoticed by the green-haired fairy). They disappeared in a puff of green smoke, the word CARNIVAL! left behind.

…

Anti-Cupid's mansion was as gothic as he remembered.

Juandissimo had been there before, but only because he had accompanied Cupid when the God had ventured there, wishing to pick a bone with his Anti-God counterpart. Some sort of Valentine's Day thing. Juandissimo hadn't entirely paid attention. It was ironic that the Anti-God of Hatred was going to solve Juandissimo's love problems. He had tried the same thing with Cosmo and Wanda, but Anti-Cupid had found out about it and had practically pummelled him himself. Juandissimo poofed into the mansion after staring at the outside for a few moments. He appeared in a small library - a round room coated with bookcases and caked with paper - and smiled as he saw the case where Anti-Cupid kept his arrows. Heavens knows why he kept them in a library.

Juandissimo floated closer and held out a hand, then paused. The last time he'd been here, an alarm had gone off as soon as he had opened the little door on the front of the glass case; awakening the sleeping Anti-God, who had occupied the nearby armchair in his state of drowsiness, an open book covering his eyes and one arm hanging off of the armchair. Juandissimo hesitantly took hold of the little doorknob. Just one quick pull, grab an arrow and he was out of there. Simple. No Anti-God in sight. Juandissimo shut his eyes, then pulled. The door swung open, but nothing happened. Juandissimo opened one eye, then both as he stared. No alarm? No flashing lights? What? Perhaps Anti-Cupid had forgotten to set it…Oh, who cared?!

Juandissimo smiled and reached inside. His fingers were inches away from one of the black arrows when he heard the flutter of bat wings and whipped around, prepared to see a furious Anti-God.

"Hiya!" Anti-Juandissimo exclaimed happily, hands behind his back.

Juandissimo stared at his counterpart. Honestly, was _that _what he would look like if he hadn't taken up weightlifting? "Uh…Hola."

"Ooh!" Anti-Juandissimo squealed. "You're _Spanish_! My counterpart's Spanish too! Hey, you look just like 'im!" He added, pointing a finger at the Spanish fairy.

Juandissimo raised an eyebrow. Seriously? "Uh…"

"Do ya wanna play with me?" The Italian anti-fairy asked with the enthusiasm of a child. It reminded Juandissimo of Katie. "Anti-Cupid just got me some new crayons! They're _shiny!_"

"Uh…" Juandissimo repeated. "No, thanks. Where _is _Anti-Cupido?"

Anti-Juandissimo pursed his lips and looked to the ceiling in thought. "Well, I dunno where _that guy _is, but Anti-Cupid…He said…meeting with Anti-Cosmo…and he told me I'm an idiot."

"I see."

"See what?"

"Nothing."

"You're blind? Poor you." He pouted at him.

Juandissimo sighed. It was so difficult to engage in a conversation with Anti-Juandissimo, he didn't know how Anti-Cupid did it. He would praise him if he weren't so evil. An idea struck him. "Actually, mi amigo, I do want to play with you."

"Really?" Anti-Juandissimo exclaimed happily. "Ok! I'll go get my crayons!" He turned, prepared to zip off, but Juandissimo grabbed his wings.

"Not with your crayons." Juandissimo said. "It's called 'Let-Juandissimo-have-a-hate-arrow'."

"Ooh!" Anti-Juandissimo clapped his hands in delight. "How'd ya play?"

"It is simple. I will reach into the case and take out a hate arrow and you are not going to do anything about it. Ok?"

"Ok!" Anti-Juandissimo clapped his hands again.

Juandissimo turned away and reached inside, taking an arrow from the quiver inside. He smirked at it, then looked to Anti-Juandissimo.

Anti-Juandissimo tilted his head and smiled happily. "Does this mean I win?"

"Hm? Oh, si. Definitely."

"Yay!" Anti-Juandissimo jumped up and down, clapping. "I can't wait to tell Anti-Cupid!"

"But remember," Juandissimo said. "The game itself stays our little secret."

"Oh. 'Shh'! I get it. Anti-Cupid loves the shh-y game!"

"I'm sure he does. Oh, and give him a hug for me." Juandissimo knew how much Anti-Cupid hated being hugged, especially by Anti-Juandissimo.

Anti-Juandissimo gasped happily. "I love hugging Anti-Cupid! He's so _cuddly!_"

"Mm-hm. So is Cupid." Juandissimo whipped out his wand and poofed away.

"Bye, Guy-who-looks-like-my-counterpart!" Anti-Juandissimo waved as the Spanish fairy disappeared. "He was nice." He said thoughtfully. "But he seemed familiar…Oh, well! Crayon time!" He turned and skipped out of the library and toward his room, where his shiny crayons waited for him.

…

Cupid had never disguised himself as a human before, but he found that he thoroughly enjoyed it. He had gotten the hang of walking very quickly. The only thing he didn't enjoy was the pink pants and shoes he had to wear (because, apparently, adult humans didn't wear diapers). He also didn't enjoy not having his wings, but he put up with it. After all, he was with Cosmo now.

Cosmo bounced up and down excitedly as they waited in line for the rollercoaster. "I rode this with Timmy once," Cosmo said as they waited. "Wanda didn't ride with us cause she said it was scary. But she rode with us the next time we went on!"

Cupid frowned slightly. "Right. _Wanda…_" He said distastefully.

Cosmo cheered when they were finally seated into a cart. He practically threw the bar down in his excitement. As the ride began, Cupid scooted closer. Cosmo looked at him confusedly as the God hugged his bicep and rested his head on his shoulder. "Cupid? Are ya scared of roller coasters?"

"Nope."

"Then why -" He didn't get to finish because the cart shot down the track at an incredible speed. The cart would have fallen off had it not been for the fairies that secretly ran the carnival. Cosmo threw his arms up, screaming, "_WOO HOO!_"

Cupid took this opportunity to throw his arms around Cosmo's torso, snuggling into his chest. The God barely paid attention as the roller coaster threw them around the track, causing the passengers behind them to scream. Cosmo continued to cheer, apparently oblivious to the fact that the God was hugging him.

The roller coaster suddenly came to a halt as it reached the end of the tracks, almost making the passengers fly out of their seats. Cosmo's eyes rolled around in his head. He sang out, "Let's go again! Let's go again!"

…

Cosmo practically skipped around the carnival, Cupid trailing along behind him. Love hearts floated around Cupid's head as he followed the green-haired fairy. What a cutie he was. Cupid didn't know why he hadn't noticed sooner!…Something about Katie…Oh well.

"What d'ya wanna go on next, Cupid?" Cosmo asked. "How about the Sicky Cars?!"

Cupid raised an eyebrow and looked over at the ride Cosmo was pointing to. It was a standard ride, consisting of cars spinning on a rotating wheel. It looked fun, but Cupid realized why it was named that way. He cringed as a grown man coughed up his lunch, which landed on the head of an employee; who was holding a bucket to catch such things. Cupid felt sick. The ride was going so _fast…_ His blue eyes caught another ride and he clasped his hands together. "Let's go on that one!"

Cosmo paused and glanced at the ride, "…The Tunnel of Love?"

Cupid almost squealed, "It's perfect for us! Dark and _romantic…_" He giggled and grabbed Cosmo's hand. "C'mon!" He practically dragged the fairy to the ride.

The member of staff that worked there gave them an odd look, but Cupid ignored them as he climbed onto one of the heart-shaped boats, pulling Cosmo in with him. Cosmo didn't have time to object because the boat began to move. As the boat disappeared into the tunnel, the green-haired fairy looked to the pink-haired God, "Ya know, you've been really nice to me today, Cupid."

"I'm _always _nice to you!" Cupid replied happily.

"You almost broke up me and Wanda for money…"

Cupid waved a hand, "Pfft! Like I said, that was the _old _Cupid! Besides, there _is _something I love more then money."

"What's that?"

"_You!"_

Cosmo blinked several times. "Huh?"

"C'mere, handsome!" Cupid exclaimed, pursing his lips for a kiss.

As he neared, however, Cosmo caught something in the corner of his eye. He turned his head to look at it, there on the floor of the boat, then gasped happily. "A nickel!" He dived for it. "Mine!"

Cupid, who had his eyes shut, didn't notice the fairy move and, as he leaned in, fell on to the seat of the boat. He moved his pink hair out of his eyes - since the curl had flopped down when he'd fallen - and pouted unhappily, crossing his arms. Cosmo looked to him and smiled, "Look! I found a nickel! I'm gonna name it Sally! Hi, Sally!"

Cupid glared at him as his eyes began sparkling. The God suddenly found a hatred in the nickel that Cosmo was holding tightly in both hands.

…

In a puff of purple smoke, Juandissimo appeared in Timmy Turner's room. His purple eyes searched the room, looking for a pink-haired God or a green-haired fairy. Heck, he would settle for a buck-toothed kid in a silly pink hat! In his right hand, he gripped the arrow he'd stolen from Anti-Cupid. With that, he was going to get his Cupid back. He refused to lose another pink-haired lover (and his first ever male lover) to Cosmo.

Suddenly, in a puff of green smoke, Cosmo and Cupid poofed into the room. Juandissimo scowled when he saw the plush kitty in Cupid's arms. Cosmo held a blue, plush dog in his arm. Neither males seemed to notice Juandissimo. "Well, that was fun!" Cosmo exclaimed happily.

"Mm-hm." Cupid replied, smirking at him. Juandissimo frowned. Cupid was supposed to be giving _him _that look!

"So, what d'ya wanna do now?"

"I was thinking…dinner."

Cosmo tilted his head. "Huh?"

Before Juandissimo could react or even think of intervening, Cupid held up his wand and poofed up a round table covered with a fancy table cloth. Plates of food appeared soon after and then a candle followed. Cupid zapped a flame onto the stick of wick. Cosmo blinked as a chair was poofed up behind him and he fell down on to it. As he reached a hand to object, rope suddenly appeared and tied him up; arms pressed to his sides. Cupid floated over and rested his elbows on the table, balancing his head in his hands. "Uh…" Cosmo muttered. "How am I gonna eat like this?"

Cupid shrugged, "Guess I'll have to feed you." He scooped up some macaroni and cheese with a fork and held it out for him.

"Cupid!" Juandissimo exclaimed when he decided he'd seen enough.

Cupid looked up as Juandissimo zipped over. He frowned. "Oh, it's _you._"

"Juandissimo?" Cosmo questioned. "What're you doing here?"

"Cupid!" Juandissimo ignored Cosmo. "What're you doing?"

"Spending time with _my _new _boyfriend._"

Cosmo looked puzzled. "Huh?"

"But _I _am your amor! As you are mine!" Juandissimo cried.

"_Was._" Cupid corrected. "Besides, he won me this cute cat at the carnival!" He added, holding up the purple and pink-striped plush toy.

"I would've gotten you a cat if you said you wanted one."

"So, now I have to _request _gifts from you?"

"I did not say that."

"You implied it." Cupid waved a dismissive hand. "I've got news for you, Juan: I'm with Cosmo now. He's _dreamy._" He added with a slight giggle.

Before Juandissimo could say anything, Cosmo interjected, "I have news too! Good _and _bad!"

Juandissimo finally acknowledged him. "What news could you possibly have?"

"The good news is: I found a nickel named Sally!"

"And the bad news?"

"It's a _boy _nickel!"

Juandissimo stared confusedly. Cupid grinned, "Oh, Cosmo! You are the best boyfriend _ever!_"

Cosmo looked at him confusedly, "Boyfriend? But, Cupid, I'm with Wanda. And married - to _Wanda!_"

"Oh, forget her." Cupid said. "She's just a stick in the mud. Now, _kiss me!_" He flew forward and cupped Cosmo's face in both hands.

"No!" Juandissimo exclaimed and zipped forward. Cupid's lips neared Cosmo's. Closer and closer…

Until Juandissimo shoved the arrow into Cupid's hip.

Cupid's eyes flew open and he froze. Hearts appeared in his eyes, then broke into pieces. Juandissimo watched expectantly as Cupid blinked a couple of times, then focused on the green eyes in front of him. "_Gah!" _Cupid exclaimed and flew away from Cosmo. "_Cosmo?!"_

"Cupid!" Juandissimo cheered. "You're back!"

Cupid looked at him, "Juan? What happened?"

"We went to the carnival together." Cosmo answered. "I got you that cat."

Cupid looked down at the little plush cat. He pursed his lips as he stared at it, then he froze. "Wait a second…I just remembered something…"

"How much you love me?" Juandissimo asked happily.

"No." Cupid said, making Juandissimo's smile drop. "Well, yes." Cue another smile from Juandissimo. "But something else…" He placed his hands on his hips. "I'm _seriously _mad at Katie!" Cupid whipped out his wand. "C'mon, Juan! We've got punishing to do!"

"Not so fast!"

Cupid looked down at the tied-up, green-haired fairy. "What?"

"Does this mean we're not friends anymore?" Cosmo asked.

Cupid raised an eyebrow. "When have we ever been friends?"

"Uh…Ten minutes ago?"

"Well, those minutes are over." Cupid held up his wand as the star began to glow. He grabbed Juandissimo's sleeve and the two poofed away.

Not soon after they left, there was another puff of pink smoke as Wanda poofed into the room. She took one look at her husband and placed her hands on her hips, "Cosmo? What happened?"

Cosmo averted his eyes as he pondered, then said, "I'm not really sure…but I think Cupid just broke up with me…"

Wanda raised an eyebrow. Broke up with Cosmo? Wasn't Cupid dating Juandissimo? The pink-haired fairy held up her wand, poofing away the rope around her husband. He floated up to her. "What've you been doing all day, Cosmo?"

"I went to the carnival with Cupid!" Cosmo held up a string of photos, clearly taken in a photo booth. Wanda took them from him and gazed at them. Cosmo was continuously making silly faces at the camera and Cupid was hugging him in several pictures (except the last one, where he was glaring as Cosmo marvelled at the nickel in his hands). Wanda raised an eyebrow, "So…you're friends with Cupid now…"

"I was. But I don't think he wants to be my friend anymore." Cosmo said uncertainly. "But I got ya something while I was there!" He flew down and picked up the stuffed dog from the floor and flew back up to her.

"Oh, Cosmo. It's so cute." Wanda gushed, holding out her hands for it.

Cosmo looked confused. "Huh? Oh, this isn't it!" Cosmo dug into his pocket and brought out a fist. "Here!" He opened his fist and dropped a nickel into Wanda's hand.

"A…nickel?"

"Uh-huh! That's Sally! He and Phillip get along great! Sally means a lot to Phillip, just like you mean a lot to me!"

Wanda smiled warmly. "Oh, Cosmo. That's so sweet." It was sweet, really. In a 'Cosmo' kind of way.

Cosmo looked at the dog in his arms, almost uncertainly. "Did you want this too? You can have it, if you want."

But Wanda shook her head. Something of such sentimental value, like the nickel, was fine. Perfectly fine. She smiled and leaned over, kissing her husband's cheek. Love hearts replaced Cosmo's green eyes and he grinned.

…

Juandissimo smirked as he and Cupid laid down on Cupid's pink sofa. They'd already gone back to their goddaughter's home. She'd almost gotten away with the whole 'making Cupid fall for Cosmo' thing, with that cute look of hers, but Cupid saw right through it (after all, he did give his own father that look when he wanted something). As her punishment for not listening to Cupid when he said to be careful, Cupid had set her to do his laundry for a week. When Katie had protested, exclaiming that he had let her use them, he had simply repeated the warnings she hadn't listened to. Then he'd poofed his laundry into the room. "How many pink suits do you have?!" Katie had asked as she emerged from a pile of pink clothing.

"More then you'll ever see in your life." Cupid had said. "I hope you've learned your lesson, young lady. Oh, and remember, I like to have my suits smell like lemons." He'd grabbed Juandissimo's sleeve and poofed them back to his mansion.

"You know, Juan," Cupid said, laying back-to-chest against his lover. "I don't remember much of today."

Juandissimo toyed with Cupid's hair, "It's probably best if you don't." He pressed a kiss to Cupid's head. He was better then Cosmo. He knew that. What he and Cupid had together was _real _magic, even _without _the love arrows.

"…What was I doing at Turner's house?"

"Oh, nothing."

"…I fell for Cosmo, didn't I?"

"…Si."

Cupid stuck out his tongue. He sat up suddenly. "Well, in that case." He waved his wand and a cardboard box appeared before him. Juandissimo sat up, eyebrow raised in curiosity. Cupid dug a hand into his pocket and brought out a black marker. He popped the cap off with his thumb and wrote on the side of the box. Then he dropped the stuffed cat into it. Juandissimo tilted his head and saw _Cosmo _written on the side of the box. He scowled. "Oh, _come on!"_

…

"Anti-Juandissimo."

Anti-Juandissimo looked up from his crayons as Anti-Cupid approached. "Hiya, Anti-Cupid. Did you have a nice time at Anti-Cosmo's place?"

"I never have a nice time with him." Anti-Cupid said. "I'm missing a hate arrow. Do you know anything about that?"

"No."

"Really?"

"Uh-huh. I was just playing with the guy who looks like my counterpart."

"…What?"

"We played this really cool game." Anti-Juandissimo said. "'Let-Juandissimo-have-a-hate-arrow'."

Anti-Cupid stared for a few seconds, then scowled and bared his vampire teeth, "_Juandissimo!"_

"No, no, Anti-Cupid." Anti-Juandissimo wagged a finger at him. "You're saying it wrong. It's _Anti-_Juandissimo."

"Not _you, _you idiot!" Anti-Cupid exclaimed. "_Juandissimo _was _here_! In _my _mansion!" He growled and curled his fingers, claws at the ready. "I'm going to _wring _his _neck _and rip off his _wings_!"

Anti-Juandissimo's brow furrowed. "You can't do that, Anti-Cupid…He was really nice to me…"

"I can do whatever I want."

Anti-Juandissimo pondered. "Mm…He said something else."

"What?"

"He told me…to give you something…"

Anti-Cupid raised an eyebrow and put his hands to his hips. "What?"

Suddenly, Anti-Juandissimo dived at him, throwing his arms around him. The force of the hug knocked both men to the floor. "Hugs!" Anti-Juandissimo exclaimed happily.

"_Ah!" _Anti-Cupid screamed as the spasms began. "_Get off me!"_

"You're so _cuddly, _Anti-Cupid!"

"_Get off me! GOOD EMOTIONS! BURNING!"_

…

**Author's note:**

**I now ship SallyxPhillip. Nickel love.**

**Imagine this:**

**Anti-Cupid and Wanda are having tea together (just 'cause) and Anti-Cupid asks her, "So, how do **_**you **_**put up with it?" while Cosmo and Anti-Juandissimo are in the background…frolicking through flowers or showing off their love for nickels and crayons or somethin'. Funny, isn't it?**

**Slow update is slow. I apologize for that. I was too busy sorting out plans for stories, parodying songs for said stories and having major writer's block with several of these one-shots. But we have a cover for the story now. That's nice.**

**Quick question: has anyone seen the bloopers for School's Out: The Musical? Juandissimo and Cosmo are so cute when they blush. :D**

**Juandissimo: T_T**

**Oh, yeah. Sorry, Juan. I kinda paired your boyfriend with someone else for this chapter. But I honestly don't know who the 'guy' is in CupidxCosmo. Enjoy the OOC-ness.**

**See, Cupid? This is why you don't give your arrows to seven-year-old girls. You upset Juan and fall in love with a green-haired idiot.**

…**Wait a second. Did I just invent CupidxCosmo? And…why do I…kind of **_**like the idea of that?! AHHH! **_***Throws Juandissimo at Cupid* Quick, do something romantic and cute! I'm losing faith! *Dives underneath a table* Just…leave me here to **_**die…**_


	18. Disapprove

**Of Pink Hair and Spanish Flair**

**I don't own the Fairly Odd Parents. Butch Hartman does.**

**I do, however, own these versions of Cupid's family members.**

**READ THE AUTHOR'S NOTE AT THE END! IT EXPLAINS ALL!**

**WARNING!: This series is about CupidxJuandissimo. Don't like, don't read.**

**Relationship: Lovers.**

**Word: Disapprove. **

…

"You don't _have _to do this, you know."

Juandissimo looked at Cupid as the two floated down the street. He smiled almost reassuringly. "Mi amor, relax yourself. I am only meeting your parents."

"Oh, yeah. _Only._" Cupid replied sarcastically. "I'm sorry, but do you know who my parents are?"

"Not yet."

"They're a _God _and a _Goddess._ They have the power to kill you if they want."

Juandissimo shrugged. "I dated Big Daddy's daughter and survived."

"Big Daddy isn't a _God. _He's a garbage fairy."

"But he has the power of a God."

"Hardly." Cupid crossed his arms. "He's nothing compared to my mom and dad."

"I'm sure I can handle it. Besides, Cupid, you were the one who wanted me to meet them."

"Yeah, over the phone. Like," He poofed a fake phone into his hand and talked sarcastically into it. "'Hi, I'm Juandissimo and I'm dating your son! 'kay, bye!'" The phone disappeared in a puff of smoke and Cupid's frown was back.

Juandissimo laughed. "Amor, you amuse me."

Cupid sighed. "Alright…It's your funeral…" Deciding they'd floated long enough, Cupid whipped out his wand and twirled it, then waved it. A swirly portal appeared before them and a formal-looking town was shown inside. Juandissimo tilted his head as Cupid disappeared through. The Spanish fairy hesitated. Before he could move, however, Cupid's hand shot through and grabbed his shirt, pulling him into the portal.

…

Cupid was playing with his sleeves as they walked (yes, _walked. _Cupid said they should since it was more common for people to walk around here) down a winding purple road. Juandissimo glanced around, noticing that almost everyone was staring at him. "Why is everyone staring at me? Other then being very sexy, of course."

Cupid paused then looked at him. "Hm? Oh, this is where Gods and Goddesses are raised. There really aren't many fairies around here."

Juandissimo looked at him with a raised eyebrow. Cupid seemed so jittery and nervous, it was almost out of character for him. Juandissimo stopped him and took hold of his hand. "Amor, are you alright? You're very…agitated…"

Cupid sighed. "Look, my mom has a knack for making my lovers hate me and a _certain _family member doesn't help."

Juandissimo grasped Cupid's hands in his. "Mi amor, as I said earlier, relax yourself. Nothing is going to go wrong."

"They might hate you."

"Well, if they do, that will not stop me from seeing you. Big Daddy did not like me at first, but that did not stop me from seeing Wanda."

Cupid still looked unsure as he looked down at the road beneath them. As mentioned before, his parents were different from Big Daddy. They had the power to kill Juandissimo if they so chose to. But…usually his parents liked peace and quiet, not violence. It was when they were angry that people had reason to fear them. Cupid gulped then sighed. Looking back at Juandissimo, he smiled. "Now I remember why I like you."

"Oh?"

"Always been a fan of bad boys." He took hold of his hand and led him down the road. Juandissimo grinned.

Eventually, they reached their destination. The mansion itself looked more like a castle. Tall and thin with lots of heart-shaped windows. The home was painted white and roofs to each section were either pink or brown. Juandissimo couldn't see the top of the tallest section. Cupid floated over to the large double doors and stared at them for a moment. He remembered living here as a child and he remembered moving out. Oh, how his mother had cried. He took hold of the rope hanging by the door and pulled. An old-timey song played and Cupid bobbed his head to the tune. He looked over his shoulder at Juandissimo, who was still looking up at the mansion. "Well? C'mon then."

Juandissimo floated over to his side just as the door opened. An old woman stood there, dressed in a simple white dress and a white apron. Her grey hair was tied back into a bun. She smiled and turned, calling, "The young master has returned! And he's brought a handsome guest!" She zipped back into the mansion.

Juandissimo smirked. He was beginning to like this place… "Young master?"

"Yeah, well," Cupid waved a hand. "Around here, I'm kind of a big deal." He leaned closer and whispered, "It's not too late to flee."

But Juandissimo simply chuckled and took hold of his hand, walking into the mansion. The inside was as regal as the outside and it seemed bigger. The floor was made of expensive tiles - freshly polished, by the looks of them. The walls were covered with white wallpaper and covered in pictures, paintings and portraits of important people. Juandissimo smirked when he saw a particular painting of a pink-haired toddler who looked far too happy for his own good. "Is that you?"

Cupid glanced over at the painting, then hid his face with one hand; peeking out from between his fingers. "Oh, man…You weren't supposed to see that…"

Juandissimo's smirk became a grin and he stopped walking, taking Cupid's hands and intertwining their fingers. "You were very cute."

"Oh, shut up."

Juandissimo opened his mouth, prepared to say more, but he was cut off by someone else's voice - a voice completely unfamiliar to him, but not to Cupid. "I'm telling you, I do not need glasses!"

The God of Love suddenly turned to the source of the voice, clasping his hands together and smiling widely. Juandissimo glanced at his lover then looked up as a man entered the room. He was as tall as Jorgen Von Strangle (if not, taller) and had a pair of grey wings on his back, resembling Cupid's wings. His long, brown hair was tied back into a pony tail, with some hair hanging over his pale blue eyes. His clothes were fancy: a crisp, white shirt; a cravat; smart, pinstriped slacks; a bronze waistcoat - Wait. Actual _bronze. _For a moment, Juandissimo wondered how he wore such a thing - it looked like _armour! _Hold on…it _was armour! _

A small cherub floated behind the tall man, holding a pair of thin, frameless glasses in her hands. "Sir, you can barely see without them."

"I see _perfectly _without them." The man insisted, glancing in the direction he thought she was floating. He accidentally bumped into a small table, almost knocking over the expensive-looking jar on top. He gripped it and muttered, "Oh, I'm sorry…"

"…Sir, you just apologized to a jar."

"Well…" The man paused, then put his hands to his hips. "I'm _sure _it's a very _nice _jar. _That's _why I'm apologizing."

The cherub sighed through her nose then glanced at Cupid. He held back a chuckle and put an index finger to his lips. She grinned back and waited until Cupid had floated up to the man's face then said to him, "Sir, if you can see so perfectly without glasses, then what's in front of you right now?"

The man turned and looked straight at Cupid. The God of Love put his hands to his hips. The man squinted at him, then shrugged. "Alright, fine. I admit it. All I can see right now is a small, pink blob." He took the glasses from the cherub and put them on. Then he looked back at Cupid and smiled widely. "Cupid! My boy!"

"_Daddy_!" Cupid suddenly exclaimed, arms out. He zipped over and hugged his father tightly.

Juandissimo's jaw dropped. _This…_was Cupid's _father? _Juandissimo knew Gods were special and powerful but…he didn't know they were so _tall! _

Cupid's father hugged his son back as carefully as he could. For goodness sake, he could hold Cupid in the _palm _of his _hand _if he wanted! "Cupid, my boy, I haven't seen you in _ages…_How long?"

"Six months, Dad."

"Yeah, six months." Cupid's father held him out - hands under his armpits - and stared at him. "Son, you look good…and you're _still _wearing a _diaper._"

Cupid immediately frowned. "It's tradition, Dad."

"It's, uh, it's certainly something, son. Tradition isn't what I'd call it."

"_Dad."_

"I'm just saying, son. Most Gods wear pants…Just saying."

Cupid squeezed out of his father's grasp and climbed onto his shoulder, where he sat; legs swinging off. "Juandissimo," He said. "This is my father, Hephaestus. He's the God of Craftsmanship."

Hephaestus looked down at the Spanish fairy, observing him through his glasses. Juandissimo felt like a bug under a microscope. After a few moments, the God of Craftsmanship smiled and held out a hand. Juandissimo took it and the two men shook hands. "Well, it's nice to meet you, son. You know, now that I can actually _see you."_

Juandissimo smiled back. "Pleasure to meet you, Señor Hephaestus."

Hephaestus looked at Cupid. "I like this one already…" He muttered, making Cupid smile and clasp his hands together. He looked back to Juandissimo. "You're good-looking. Aphrodite will appreciate that." Juandissimo looked at him confusedly. "My wife," Hephaestus clarified.

"And my mom." Cupid added. The God of Love paused, then looked at his father. "Is _he _here?"

"Uh-_huh._"

Cupid crossed his arms and frowned. "Oh, _great._"

"Hey." Hephaestus said warningly. "Cupid, I know you don't completely get along with him, but try to. You're relatives and we have a guest - who is your _lover _by the way."

"I know who he is, Dad."

"I'm sure you do. You _must've _gotten acquainted by now." Hephaestus said. "Speaking of him," The God of Craftsmanship looked at the Spanish fairy. "Do you mind, Juandissimo, if I have a chat with my son? Privately."

Juandissimo held up his hands. "Of course not."

"Feel free to explore the mansion. Just…don't go into the room with the love heart on the door." Hephaestus explained. "Other then that, knock yourself out."

Juandissimo smiled and nodded at him. He had the urge to float up to Cupid and kiss him, but that probably wouldn't go well with his father standing right there. But a sense of bravery came over him and he blew Cupid a kiss. Hephaestus's eyebrows rose, but he said nothing. "I will see you soon, my darling."

Cupid grinned. "'kay."

Juandissimo turned and floated out of the room. As soon as they were sure he was gone, Hephaestus spoke, "Well. That was like watching one of your mother's soap operas…Just with a male/male couple."

Cupid smiled, tiny love hearts floating around his head. Hephaestus stared. He said, picking Cupid up by the coat, using his thumb and index finger. "He's certainly done something to _you. _Haven't seen you so 'loved-up' like this."

Cupid looked to him. "Well, what do you think, Dad?"

"Well, I like him, son. But you know it's not entirely up to my judgement."

Cupid huffed and crossed his arms. "Of course not…"

Hephaestus sighed through his nose. "Look, son, just make sure he doesn't end up like the last one."

Cupid paused, then frowned at his father. "We don't talk about him, Dad."

"No. Of course we don't." Hephaestus ruffled his son's hair carefully.

Cupid gripped fistfuls of his pink hair and gasped, "_Dad! The hair!" _He swiftly began pulling it back up into it's usual curl.

Hephaestus stared, eyes half-lidded. "Definitely your mother's child…Definitely your mother's child…" As a thought struck him, Hephaestus clicked his fingers and fished a love arrow out of his pocket. "Here, son. Made that this morning."

Cupid took it from his father and stared at it. Hephaestus put his hands to his hips. "Designed to move quicker through the air. Almost completely indestructible. I'll have to make more like it, but -"

_Snap!_

Both men froze and Hephaestus's eyes found Cupid, who now held two pieces of arrow in both hands. He looked up at his father, grinning nervously. Hephaestus stared. "…Ok, I said 'almost completely indestructible' so, technically, that was your fault."

Cupid's grin dropped. "Sorry, Dad."

"Mm. It's ok." Hephaestus took the pieces from him and held them together, as though he was trying to work out how to put them together again. "It's just a prototype. Now, if you had put your magic in this, _then _I would've been mad." He grunted and put the pieces into his pocket. "Now, off you go. Go and find your lover. He's probably gotten lost by now. Go on. Leave Daddy to his work." Hephaestus turned and walked off, his bronze shoes (specifically designed by the God of Craftsmanship himself) clanging and clicking on the floor as he left. Cupid smiled and floated out of the room, down the same corridor Juandissimo had disappeared through.

…

Bloody hell, this place was huge. Juandissimo had already found that out. He had visited several rooms (twenty-seven bathrooms! They had _twenty_-_seven bathrooms - _and probably more!), keeping his eye out for the room Hephaestus had told him not to visit. Cupid's father seemed nice enough. He hadn't particularly enjoyed the look Hephaestus had given him though. Judging him. It was expected though. He was Cupid's father. Parents always looked out for their kids and the Gods were no different.

"Oh, it's _fabulous_!"

Juandissimo paused. Was that…Cupid he'd just heard? It certainly sounded like him. Juandissimo floated over to a door marked LIBRARY. He peeked inside. Standing there, with back to him, was Cupid. But…why was he wearing a brown suit? And trousers? He was wearing _trousers! _And _shoes!_ Juandissimo tilted his head as Cupid pulled a funny face in the mirror he was standing in front of. "Uh…mi amor?"

Cupid froze and looked over his shoulder. Juandissimo floated into the room. "Amor, what're you doing? I thought you were talking with your father?"

"Um…what?" Cupid asked.

Juandissimo blinked twice then smiled. "Oh, I get it. You came in here because you wish to spend alone time with me before I meet your mother, no?" He walked towards him as he said this. "And I see you took my advice about wearing pants!" He chuckled lightly. As he approached, Cupid backed up until his back was against the wall. This didn't help because Juandissimo put a hand on the wall next to Cupid's head and leaned down to him so that their foreheads were almost touching. "See, amor? You look _sexy._" Juandissimo grinned, leaning in towards Cupid's mouth.

"Juandissimo, what're you doing with my _brother?!"_

The voice made Juandissimo freeze. Slowly, the Spanish fairy looked over his shoulder, only to see his pink-haired lover floating in the doorway. Cupid zipped over to them, arms crossed. Juandissimo looked at the Cupid in front of him, who looked petrified. Or, rather not Cupid. He looked back to his lover. "There're…two of you."

"He's my brother." Cupid said and he didn't sound pleased. "_Hello? _He's wearing _brown!"_

Juandissimo looked back to the man in front of him. The Cupid look-alike stared, then said, in a voice that was no longer his brother's, "Hi. I'm Anteros."

Juandissimo stared. "You look just like one another."

"That's because we're twins." Anteros said, crossing his arms. "_Duh._"

Juandissimo stepped back, away from Cupid's twin brother. He stared at him, then looked to Cupid. "_Twins?"_

"Yeah." Cupid said. He gestured to his brother. "Juan, this is Anteros, my twin brother." He paused, eyes narrowing. "But he usually has brown hair…What happened to your hair?"

Anteros looked as though he had been caught stealing from their mother's purse as he fished a wand out of his pocket and waved it. The bubblegum pink hair (which had matched his brother's) morphed into a brown that reminded Juandissimo of coffee or chocolate - which he had obviously inherited from Hephaestus. Anteros looked nervous, glancing around the room as he said, "I totally wasn't, like, mocking you in this mirror or anything! H-How could ya accuse me of that, bro?"

"I didn't accuse you of anything."

There was an awkward silence before Anteros turned away, looking over his shoulder angrily. "Oh my gosh, bro! I have a life outside of _you!_" He licked his palm and sent it through his brown hair, which was curled like his brother's. He turned to Juandissimo, who was still gaping. "The heck's your problem?"

Anteros did, indeed, look like Cupid - same hair style, same physique, same blue eyes - with only a few differences: the brown suit with black shoes, the brown hair. The hearts on his shirt were split into two, finely cut pieces; separated by the buttons, instead of the love hearts on Cupid's shirt or the broken hearts on Anti-Cupid's.

"So who's this then, bro? New boyfriend?" Anteros asked.

Cupid gestured to the fairy next to him. "This is Juandissimo."

"Is he the guy who flirted with his ex while you were on holiday?"

Cupid's eyes darkened at the mention of it, "_Yes."_

"Ah." Anteros fixed his bow tie - which had gotten wonky - in the mirror. "Mom and Dad know about that by the way." He looked straight at Juandissimo. "And they ain't happy about it." Cupid groaned. "But you seem like a pretty cool guy to me." Anteros continued, now addressing Juandissimo. "Minus the whole 'almost kissing me' part. And I must thank you for the 'sexy' comment. I _do _look pretty good in these pants."

Cupid frowned at Juandissimo, who only grinned at him nervously. Anteros turned around to face them. "You did a pretty good job with this one, little brother."

Juandissimo heard _that. Little _brother. That must mean that Anteros was born first. Accidentally voicing his thoughts, he asked, "Little brother?"

"Yeah." Anteros said. "I'm older then him by a whole ten minutes. Can't you tell?"

Juandissimo just stared. No. He couldn't.

"Anteros," Cupid said before his brother could talk anymore. "Where's Mom?"

"Out with her friends. You know, the ones Dad isn't allowed to talk to."

Juandissimo looked to Cupid confusedly. Cupid waved a hand and muttered, "Family joke. I'll tell you about it later."

Anteros stepped up to Juandissimo, pointing at him. "Might I just say, you're either really dumb or _extremely _brave."

"Uh…What?"

"You don't know who our mom is, do you?" Anteros said. "She's _Aphrodite, _the Goddess of _Beauty._ And, by the looks of you," He looked Juandissimo up and down. "You care a lot for your looks. Our mom gave you those looks."

Juandissimo shrank back slightly. Oh, Anteros was threatening his best quality…

"It's actually the Anti-Aphrodite's job to make people ugly, but our mom's not afraid of getting rid of beauty. Brother has anti-love arrows, after all." He winked and clicked his tongue. "So just watch out, eh, Alejandro?"

"Uh…It is Juandissimo." Juandissimo corrected.

"I know." With a wave of his wand, Anteros poofed away.

Cupid rolled his eyes, "He's given you a nickname. It means he likes you."

"And that is good, no?"

"Depends on how you look at it." Cupid sighed. "My brother's not the one I'm worried about. It's Mom."

Juandissimo's brow creased at his lover's worry and he stepped behind Cupid, wrapping his arms around his waist. "Don't worry, mi amor. I've met your father and your brother and _that _went great!"

Cupid perked up. "Wait a minute! That's it!" He turned around in Juandissimo's arms. "My mom loves foreign things! Speak a lot of Spanish in front of her!"

Juandissimo stared at him with wide eyes. He nodded slowly. "Anything else?"

"Yeah." He frowned. "Don't talk about a certain _woman_ in front of her."

Juandissimo scoffed. "Would I do that?"

"Yes."

Juandissimo snorted, then looked down at himself. "Should I have worn something formal?"

"Hm? Oh, no. You're good." Cupid said, just as a voice was heard.

"_I'm home!"_

Cupid froze, eyes widening. Anteros zipped passed the door, yelling (almost tauntingly), "Mommy's home!"

Juandissimo looked to Cupid as the God put a hand to his chest. "I think I'm gonna barf."

Juandissimo poofed up a glass of water and handed it to Cupid, who gulped it down quickly. "Don't worry, Cupid. It'll be fine."

Cupid took a few deep breaths. He looked to his lover, who gave him the most reassuring look he could. Truthfully, Juandissimo was a little worried too. Meeting the parents was a person's worst nightmare. It was even worse for poor Juandissimo. His lover's parents were a _God and a Goddess_. They controlled two important things in his life. "Are you ready?" The Spanish fairy asked.

"Yeah." He sighed. "Let's get this over with. But, uh, let's go the long way."

"Why?"

"Because if she doesn't kill you, she'll make sure I can't see you anymore."

Juandissimo took hold of Cupid's hand, kissed the back of it, and floated out into the corridor with him.

…

They entered the living room just as Anteros approached a red-haired woman who was almost as tall as Hephaestus. Juandissimo looked up at her and his eyes widened at her beauty. Red hair that was delicately curled reached her waist, framing her pale face. Her almond-shaped eyes were the same colour as her hair - like roses - and were currently fixed upon her eldest son. The woman's satin dress was mermaid-shaped and a deep pink, almost covering her feet; which adorned red slippers. To top it all off, a silky, bright pink scarf was wrapped around her neck and a few gold bracelets were wrapped around each of her wrists. Juandissimo stared, then felt himself smile; letting his tongue hang out. Cupid looked to him and frowned, then nudged him sharply. Juandissimo snapped back to his senses and looked at his lover. Cupid said, "You'll get used to her later. That effect will wear off."

Anteros waved to their mother, almost shyly. "Hi, Mom."

Cupid and Anteros's mother smiled at him and she spoke with the voice of an angel, "Oh, Anteros, my oldest baby." She delicately cupped her hands around Anteros and lifted him up, hugging him gently. Anteros hugged her back the best he could.

Cupid hesitated, then floated up to her. "Hi, Mommy."

Their mother paused, eyes flying open, and she looked at him. "Cupid! My baby!" She tossed Anteros over her shoulder and wrapped her arms around her youngest son, hugging him tightly. "Oh, my baby…You've come home to your mommy! I've missed you so much!"

Cupid wheezed as he was crushed under her might. "Mom…" He tried. "Can't…_breathe_…!" His face began turning blue. He was finally released and fell down like a fly that had been swatted.

Juandissimo flew forward, catching his lover before he could hit the ground. "Are you alright, my sweet?"

Anteros scowled and fixed his brown bow tie. "Well, we see who's the favourite…"

Cupid put a hand to his head, his eyes refocusing after flying around in his skull. "Yeah. I'm good."

Upon hearing the name Juandissimo had given him, their mother frowned and crossed her arms. "And _who _is _this?"_

Cupid bit his lip nervously and got out of Juandissimo's hold. He gestured to his lover. "Uh, Mom, this is Juandissimo." He turned to the Spanish fairy and gestured to his mother. "Juan, this is my mom, Aphrodite: the Goddess of Beauty."

Aphrodite - wife of Hephaestus and mother to Anteros and Cupid - frowned at Juandissimo as he floated closer and offered a hand. "Hola, Señora Aphrodite. It's a pleasure to meet you. I can see where Cupid gets his good looks from."

Aphrodite didn't offer a hand, nor smile. She simply stayed there, arms crossed and frowning. Juandissimo's smile dropped after a few moments and so did his hand. "So," the Goddess of Beauty said, "_you're _the one who broke my poor baby's heart."

Juandissimo suddenly felt intimidated. He managed a short, nervous chuckle. "Well…uh…" For once, Juandissimo Magnifico was speechless.

"_Mom." _Cupid said. He crossed his arms and Juandissimo saw the resemblance between the two.

Aphrodite pursed her lips as she looked down at Juandissimo, giving him the same look Hephaestus had. "Well, I'm glad I finally get to meet you, Juandissimo. My son's told me _so much." _She said the last part like it was a disease. "Of _course _you're staying for dinner."

"I am?"

"Yes. _You are."_

Juandissimo gulped. There was no arguing with a goddess. Juandissimo cleared his throat and confidence suddenly built up in him. What was he doing? He hadn't been this nervous when meeting Big Daddy. He had acted as he usually did (with a little more manners). Using this confidence, he wrapped an arm around Cupid's waist, brought him closer and kissed his head. "We would _love _to stay for dinner. Wouldn't we, my darling?"

"Uh. Yeah." Cupid replied.

Aphrodite narrowed her eyes at him warningly, but he didn't separate from her son. "Right." She said. "I'll just tell the servants to set _five _plates this evening." She walked from the room, resisting the temptation to kill her son's latest lover.

After she was gone, Anteros zoomed over. "Dude! You have a _death wish!_"

"No." Cupid said. "He's just brave."

"Ok," Anteros said, almost panicky. "Word of advice: _do not _eat _anything _our mother has made."

"Because she doesn't like me?"

"No. Our mom is a _horrible _cook."

"Hey," Cupid muttered, patting Juandissimo on the chest. "Just like you."

Aphrodite entered the room again. "Anteros, Cupid," She said and sounded eerily sweet. Oh. Still trying to resist killing the fairy, are we? "Where's your father?"

"Probably in his workshop." Anteros said.

Aphrodite huffed. She loved Hephaestus, really she did, but _Gods _did he spend too much time in there. She stomped over to a pair of double doors and threw them open. Sunlight poured in and the three men covered their eyes with their hands. "Hephaestus!" Aphrodite called.

Outside was a larger - _much larger - _version of a garden shed. "_Hephaestus!_" The Goddess called again, trying to be heard over the loud sounds of a hammer hitting metal. "_Hephaestus!"_

Still, the God of Craftsmanship couldn't hear her. She huffed again, her wings fluttering in annoyance, and stomped out, the three males floating behind her. Aphrodite threw open the door to her husband's workshop. Inside, the shelves were decorated with dust, cobwebs and bits and bobs that made no sense to any of them. A car was tied up to the ceiling with a few straps and it's missing engine was on the shelf opposite it. They approached a rusted chariot, which had a pair of legs and a lower body sticking out from under it. "Hephaestus!" Aphrodite called again. When he didn't respond, she growled angrily and yelled, "_VULCAN!_"

The hammering underneath the chariot stopped and Hephaestus jumped. A _thud! _was heard, then Hephaestus cried out in pain. He rolled out from underneath the chariot on a tray - which had four wheels built into the underside - and sat up. He had a pair of greasy overalls on - the letter H sewn into the breast pocket - and a pair of goggles replaced his glasses. No one could see his eyes through them, but they knew he was looking up at them. Juandissimo wondered how he could see through them, considering how bad the God's eyesight was. Hephaestus moved his goggles up into his hair and squinted at Aphrodite, then reached into his pocket and took out his glasses. Quickly putting them on, he looked up at his wife. "Aphrodite! Good, you're here." He gestured to the chariot. "Could you tell Artemis that I'm almost done with this thing? She's been asking about it for weeks."

Aphrodite sighed and rolled her eyes, but she was smiling. "Hephaestus, get up." Hephaestus did as he was told, brushing himself off. He stared at her. "Look," Aphrodite said, almost cooing at her husband as she removed his goggles and put them on the bench beside her. "You've hurt yourself again." She unzipped his overalls and pulled them down to his elbows (they were glad that he was wearing his fancy clothes underneath), then put her hands on his shoulders and went on her tip-toes; kissing his forehead - where a bump was forming - delicately. As the Goddess of Beauty, Aphrodite always made sure Hephaestus was dirt-free before hugging him or kissing him. It was difficult, since grease and grime would attach to his overalls like glue; but she managed.

"Ah. Well, yes." Hephaestus said, flustered and at a loss of what to say. "I _have _hurt myself again. I mean, I must've because I hit my head on this chariot. But it was your fault because you called me Vulcan." He stared for a second before quickly exclaiming, "No! It was totally _not _your fault! In fact, it's all _mine! _I should be _inside _right now, talking to my children and possible future in-law, and _not _fixing the chariot Artemis broke at her last party! In fact, I _deserve _to be called Vulcan! Not because it's where the word 'volcano' originated from or anything, you know, since I'm also the God of Fire. But I - I…I don't even know what I'm talking about now…" He finally deflated.

Aphrodite giggled. "Hephaestus, honey, I love you. But you talk too much."

"Yes…I -"

"Sh. Before you start rambling again." Aphrodite interrupted, putting an index finger over Hephaestus's lips.

Juandissimo felt _so _out of place.

Hephaestus reached into his pocket and brought out a smoking pipe that matched the Anti-Cupid's (well, it should. Both were partly built by Hephaestus himself) and put it to his mouth. He blew and bubbles began swimming out of the other end. Anteros grinned and flew over, popping them enthusiastically. Hephaestus stared, eyes half-lidded. "Son, don't tell me that still entertains you."

Anteros nodded, "Uh-huh."

Cupid put a hand to Juandissimo's shoulder and muttered, "Juandissimo, this is my family. They're nuts."

Juandissimo laughed.

…

Even the dinner table in this place was huge. Long and rectangular and made of gold. Hephaestus sat at the end, so he could face everyone, with Aphrodite just on the side to his left. Anteros was further down the table, his little brother sitting opposite him and Juandissimo sat next to his lover. Aphrodite had given him a look that said 'Don't you dare sit next to my little boy', but Cupid had sat down next to the Spanish fairy anyway.

A few cherubs brought them each a bowl with what looked like soup inside. Juandissimo smiled and picked up his spoon, but Cupid stopped him. Juandissimo stared as Cupid dunked his hands into the liquid in his own bowl. Juandissimo felt embarrassment wash over him as he put his spoon down and followed suit. Luckily, no one noticed (although Anteros looked as though he was trying not to laugh). After that, the cherubs brought out more bowls. Juandissimo looked inside, seeing an assortment of tomatoes, cucumber, cubes of feta cheese, green bell peppers, onions and olives.

"Hope you like Greek food." Aphrodite said and he knew it was directed at him.

Anteros's nose wrinkled up as he poked his salad with a fork. "Uh…Mom, can I skip the salad…?"

"Me too." Cupid added, pushing the bowl away from him.

"You'll eat what's in front of you, boys." Aphrodite said as she tied a bib around her neck to protect her beautiful dress from harm. Both brothers let out little whines, but did as they were told.

All five set to eating. Juandissimo found that he thoroughly enjoyed the food. Cupid looked like he wanted to throw up and Anteros kept on scraping his tongue with his teeth. Hating salad was, apparently, something the brothers had in common. Eventually, Juandissimo pulled his wand from his pocket and flicked his wrist. The rest of the salad in Cupid's bowl disappeared and Cupid stared at it confusedly. He glanced at Juandissimo, who waggled his eyebrows at him. The God of Love smiled at him, then pushed the bowl away from himself.

As the cherubs brought out their main courses, Hephaestus sighed through his nose and leaned back in his chair. "I hate having a dinner in silence." He informed them. "So, let's talk." He leaned forward again, resting his elbows on the table and balancing his chin on his hands. "Juandissimo, how did you meet my boy?"

Juandissimo looked up from his spoon - which he was using as a mirror to check himself out - and over at Cupid's father. Hephaestus looked at him like a cat would look at its prey - a look that said 'This story better be good'. To anyone else, this look would've seemed friendly and interested, but Juandissimo knew better. He had enough lovers to know about hovering fathers and protective big brothers - both of which Cupid had (whether Anteros was protective of his little brother, Juandissimo had yet to find out). Juandissimo put his spoon down, chuckling slightly (as to clear away the awkwardness) and shrugged. "I met him while I was still in high school. I asked him for a love arrow but -"

"To use on whom?" Aphrodite interrupted, frowning.

Juandissimo's smile dropped slightly. "Ah…Wanda."

"And she is…?"

"…My ex-girlfriend."

"Oh. The one you almost cheated on my son with."

"_Mom." _Cupid muttered warningly.

"Not…_cheated_." Juandissimo said awkwardly. "Just…flirted with."

"But you would've cheated." Aphrodite continued. "If Cupid hadn't come home early because of that Turner kid, you would've been all over her."

Anger rose in Juandissimo's chest when he recognized the words. _You would've been all over her. _Gosh, that was what Cupid had said to him when he had confronted him. It was creepy how much resemblance there was between Aphrodite and Cupid.

Cupid frowned, "_Mom._"

"What? I'm only stating the truth, Cupid, sweetie."

Anteros slowly raised his hand and Hephaestus glanced at him. "Can I ask a question?" Anteros asked. There was silence, then Juandissimo slowly nodded. Anteros leaned back in his chair. "Do you have a sister? Preferably my age."

"Anteros!" Cupid and Aphrodite exclaimed in unison and Hephaestus shook his head slowly in disapproval.

"What?!" Anteros exclaimed. "It's _been a while!_"

Juandissimo chuckled. "I come from a big family, señor, so I am sure there is someone for you."

Anteros burst into laughter, hitting the table with the palm of his hand. "Oh, I _like _this one! He's a _riot_!"

"Fiesta." Juandissimo said with a smirk. "I am a fiesta."

Anteros burst into more laughter. "Ya gotta keep this one, lil' bro! Oh, man, he's a winner! And he's strong too, which means Uncle Ares will like 'im!" He paused, laughter coming to a stop, and slapped his hands over his mouth.

Hephaestus scowled and stabbed the meat on his plate with his fork; using much more force then he needed to. "_Hephaestus." _Aphrodite muttered warningly.

Anteros removed his hands from his mouth. "Ares is our uncle and Dad's brother." He explained. "He's also Mom's ex. Sometimes, he comes 'round here to try and win her back. Dad gets _so annoyed_."

"Wow." Aphrodite said, sarcastically and almost spitefully. "Doesn't _that _remind you of someone?"

_Juandissimo _knew _exactly _who she was talking about.

"I've never gotten along with Ares." Hephaestus growled. "Just because he's the big _soldier _and I'm just the little _craftsman. _I'll have him know I make those weapons of his." He breathed out and black smoke flew out of his nostrils. "Try and steal my wife…Next time, I'm making his swords out of _paper_…"

"Regardless," Aphrodite said. "You're still brothers, no matter what horrible stuff you do to one another."

"Yeah, Dad." Anteros said. "For example, I could throw this pie in to Brother's face and we'd _still _be brothers." He held up his wand and poofed up a pie.

Cupid looked up from his meal. "Wait, what?"

As soon as he had stopped talking, the pie hit him in the face; splattering it with whipped cream and gooey fruit. The pan fell to the table with a clatter and Cupid brought up both hands, scraping whipped cream out of his eyes slowly. He scowled. Anteros smiled widely and gestured to him, "And we're _still brothers!" _

Cupid began to hold up his wand, but Hephaestus spoke up, "Don't fight back. Throwing pies is where we draw the line."

Cupid huffed and crossed his arms. Juandissimo reached over and dragged an index finger across Cupid's cheek, scooping up some cream. He licked it off of his finger and smirked, "Mm. Banana."

Cupid blushed underneath all of that cream and Aphrodite scowled. "And eating cream off of my son's face is where _I _draw the line."

Juandissimo glanced at her. Cupid held up his wand and poofed away the cream on his face. Anteros grinned. "Nice shot, eh, Alejandro?"

"Alejandro?" Aphrodite spoke up. "So, he's already given you a nickname?" She asked the Spanish fairy without looking at him. "I can think of a few nicknames. But I can't say them. Ya know, don't like cursing in front of my children."

Cupid gripped his fork tighter. Oh, it was always the same with these 'meet the lover' dinners. Aphrodite would insult them to high heaven. If this was Anteros's lover, she wouldn't do much. She would be _nice _to them. Probably offer them a bloody _cookie, _while she was at it! Not with _his _lovers, though. _His _lovers always got the thumbs down. Oh, if Aphrodite made _one more _crack about Juandissimo, he was going to -

"So, Juandissimo, how many times a week do you flirt with your ex?"

- snap.

"Ok, that's it!" Cupid exclaimed, standing up and slamming his palms on the table top. Everyone stared at him.

"Cupid?" Aphrodite asked. "What's the matter, sweetie? Is the food not -"

"It's not the food and you know it, Mom." Cupid snapped, interrupting the woman who gave birth to him. He began to float over the table, his wings beating with agitation. "Let's get a few things straight: I know you don't like it when I'm dating someone. I know you don't like it when I date _fairies. _But I want to date a fairy and, more specifically, I want to date Juandissimo! And, yeah, sometimes he can be the _biggest jerk ever! _And I _hate it _when he even _thinks _about Wanda! But, at other times, he can the sweetest, most romantic and thoughtful guy I've ever met! And he makes me _happy _and _that_ should be _ENOUGH FOR YOU!"_

Everything went silent. Aphrodite, Anteros and Juandissimo stared with wide eyes. Finally, Anteros smiled widely. "_Nice one, bro!"_

Hephaestus stared at his son with a half-lidded, disapproving look and he slowly put his utensils down. The God of Craftsmanship looked like he was holding in a great deal of anger. He opened his mouth to speak, but Aphrodite stopped him. "Wait." She said. She breathed in and looked at the younger twin as he floated back down to his chair, arms crossed and gaze on the table. He couldn't even look at her. He knew he'd done something bad, talking to his mother like that, and he knew Hephaestus was going to use _his _other name. Aphrodite started speaking, "Cupid…" She breathed in again, as though talking was painful for her. "Honey -"

"Oh, I don't want your dang honey…" Cupid muttered.

Aphrodite almost giggled at her son's misunderstanding. "_Sweetie…_I'm sorry." She saw his arms loosen slightly. "To _both of you._" She added, looking at her son's lover. "I know I've been unfair to you. But…Cupid, I just want the best for you."

"For the record," Juandissimo spoke up. "I would never hurt Cupido intentionally."

"I know." Aphrodite replied. "At least, I think I do." She reached over and smoothed her son's pink hair. "I just want you to be happy."

"I _am _happy, Mom." Cupid said, batting away her hand. "_You're _the only one who can't see that."

Aphrodite sighed through her nose, "I guess so. You know the saying, son. 'Love makes you blind'. That's the same with a mother's love for her son. I just miss the days when you weren't interested in anyone. When you used to wear diapers because you _needed _to, not for fashion choices." Aphrodite sighed. "But I guess you've grown up now…I'm sorry, both of you." She looked to Juandissimo. "Juandissimo,"

"Ah, yes?" Juandissimo replied awkwardly.

"…You can keep on seeing my son."

Juandissimo smiled widely. Cupid blinked and his arms fell as he looked up at his mother, eyes wide. "Gracias, Señora Aphrodite."

Aphrodite smiled sadly. Anteros grinned, "Looks like we're gonna be in-laws, eh, Spainish?"

Juandissimo blinked, "Ah…It is pronounced _Spanish._"

"I know."

Juandissimo leaned back in his chair. Ah. Another nickname. Anteros leaned back in his chair as well. "While we're on the subject of lovers an' stuff," He looked at his brother. "Hey, baby bro, is it ok with you if I date Psyche?"

Cupid frowned. "Why do you always wanna date my exes?"

"Not _all of 'em…_I don't date the guys."

"That's only because you're not interested in guys."

Anteros shrugged. He leaned forward. "Yeah, you hear that, Spainish?" He gestured to himself wildly, flapping his hands. "_Not interested. _No matter how sexy I am in these pants."

Juandissimo groaned and rolled his eyes at the mention of the embarrassing incident. Hephaestus raised an eyebrow. "What?"

Anteros suddenly remembered, "Oh, yeah." He pointed at Juandissimo. "He almost kissed me."

Aphrodite frowned. "Oh, what? One of my sons wasn't good enough for you?"

"_Mom_." Cupid said.

"Right, right. Sorry." Aphrodite raised her hands in defeat.

"Ah…" Juandissimo muttered. "He _did _look like Cupido when I first saw him."

"Oh, for goodness sake," Hephaestus said. "Do you still mock your brother in mirrors?"

"No. Of course not, Dad!" Anteros exclaimed.

Hephaestus grunted. "How about we get onto a new subject, eh, son? Like why you're living with us still?"

Anteros paled. Cupid frowned. "Yeah, why are you living here?"

"Would you like to tell them, son, or shall I?" Hephaestus asked.

Anteros chuckled nervously, "H-Hey! Who wants dessert?!"

"He burned his house down."

"I _did not burn my house down!" _Anteros exclaimed. "It was Artemis's fault! You know what she's like, Dad! Besides, you could've helped out! You like fire!"

"I'm not going to help you every time you burn something." Hephaestus replied.

Aphrodite looked over at her son and his lover, just as Juandissimo fed Cupid some of his food. She frowned slightly. The Goddess still didn't like Juandissimo all that much - not after what she'd heard - but…if Cupid liked him, then she supposed she could try to like him too. "Why don't you two stay the night?" She asked after a moment.

Both men looked up at her. "Huh?" Cupid asked.

"You can stay in Cupid's old room." Aphrodite continued. "There's enough space."

"But we didn't bring any pyjamas."

"Dudes," Anteros spoke up. "You're magic. Just poof up some stuff."

"And to _really _say that I'm sorry," Aphrodite continued, clapping her hands together. "Who wants to see baby pictures of Cupid?!"

"Oh, my gosh!" Cupid exclaimed, burying his face in his hands.

Juandissimo smirked. "I would _love _to see some baby pictures of mi amor." He said, almost tauntingly.

Aphrodite called a cherub over, "Could you bring me the photo album?" The cherub nodded and zipped off.

"I hate you." Cupid muttered. "I hate you all." He peeked at Juandissimo through his fingers. "Especially you."

Juandissimo chuckled and took hold of one of his hands, kissing the back of it gently.

…

"Cupido,"

Cupid looked over at his boyfriend. "Hm?"

"May I ask you something?"

"…I guess."

"What is _your _other name?"

Cupid froze while buttoning up his pyjama shirt. He was sitting on the end of his old, pink bed. The bed was huge - plenty of space for both men - and fluffy. The walls of his old room were, of course, pink and covered in love hearts. The carpet was almost as fluffy as the bed and as pink as the walls. It was a simple little room, with a large closet and a round, white table. A little bathroom was connected to it through a door to the left, which Juandissimo had just come out of. "Uh…what?"

"I was talking to your brother." Juandissimo explained. "He told me that some Gods have 'other names'. Greek and Roman or something. That's why Señora Aphrodite called Señor Hephaestus 'Vulcan', isn't it? Anteros said that Gods only tell people their other names if they trust them." His brow furrowed. "Do you not trust me, my sweet?"

Cupid sighed. "I do trust you, Juan. It's just…I really hate my other name, ok? Really. It's stupid."

Juandissimo climbed up onto the bed and sat behind him, shifting so that Cupid was sat between his legs; back to his chest. He wrapped his arms around Cupid's waist. "I won't laugh."

Cupid sighed. "You won't let this go, will you?" Juandissimo shook his head against Cupid's shoulder. Cupid huffed. "Fine. My other name…" He shut his eyes. "…It's Eros."

Juandissimo's eyebrows rose slightly. "…Eros." He felt Cupid shiver uncomfortably. "Is that what your other name does, my darling? Makes you uncomfortable?"

"Kind of." Cupid said. "We only get called by our other names if people want our attention or are angry with us. That's why Mom called Dad Vulcan when he was in his workshop. It was the only way he could hear her."

"So, if I want your attention," Juandissimo smirked devilishly. "I'll just call you _Eros._" Cupid shivered again. "Sorry." Juandissimo muttered.

"I told you," Cupid said. "It's a stupid name."

"…I think it's lovely."

Cupid blushed lightly. "Don't you dare tell anyone."

"Of course." Juandissimo said.

"…My dad can hear us calling him Vulcan, you know. I doubt he's happy about that."

Juandissimo raised an eyebrow. "You can really hear your other names _that far away?_"

"Well, that and…" He trailed off and turned around in Juandissimo's arms, placing his hands on his lover's shoulders. "Hi, Mom. Hi, Dad."

"Hi, sweetie!"

Juandissimo froze and slowly looked over his shoulder at the device on the bedside table, the source of the voice. "…What is that?"

"That's a baby monitor." Cupid said. "That's been there since I was born. Mom won't get rid of it, though. Just in case."

"Don't call me Vulcan again, son." Hephaestus's voice came through. "I'm practically having a spasm here."

"Sorry, Dad." Cupid replied.

"Goodnight, Cupid. Goodnight, Juandissimo." Aphrodite was heard.

"…Buenas noches, Señora and Señor." Juandissimo said awkwardly, hands on Cupid's back. It was a bloody good thing there was no camera, since Cupid was practically straddling him.

"Goodnight, boys." Hephaestus said.

There were a few moments of silence. "…You better not be kissing." Aphrodite's voice came through warningly.

Cupid and Juandissimo didn't reply - too busy kissing.

…

Cupid and Juandissimo were preparing to leave when Anteros approached them. "You know," He said to Juandissimo. "I can't wait for you to be my brother-in-law." Juandissimo stared confusedly. "We can look at girls together!" Anteros exclaimed.

"Ah…no." Juandissimo said. "I will be married to Cupid then."

"Pfft. And?"

Cupid frowned. "Anteros, go away."

"Oh, that's nice." Anteros said. "I'm your brother."

"Pfft. And?"

Anteros paused, realized where the quotation came from, then nodded, "Touché."

A cherub led the two men to the door just as Cupid's parents joined them. "Take care, you two." Hephaestus said.

Cupid flew up to him. "Bye, Dad."

"It was good to see you again, son. You should visit more often." Father and son shared a hug, then Hephaestus held out a hand to Juandissimo. "And it was good to meet you, Juandissimo. Perhaps we'll see more of each other in the future."

Juandissimo shook his hand and smiled. "I hope so, Señor."

Hephaestus smiled and nodded right back. Cupid flew over to his mother. "Bye, Mom."

Aphrodite pouted unhappily. "You know, sweetie, if you really want, you can come and live with us again."

"Ah, Mom, I told you. I'm happy in Fairy World."

Aphrodite sighed through her nose. "Oh, fine." She hugged her son - gentler then before - and he returned the hug. "I'm gonna miss you."

"You always do, Mom." Cupid replied, breaking the hug. He flew back down to Juandissimo, who took hold of his hand. They began to float toward the front entrance, ready to head back to Cupid's mansion. They made it out the door before they were stopped.

"Wait."

Both men stopped and looked back as Aphrodite stopped them. "Juandissimo, could we talk for a second?"

Juandissimo stared for a second, "Uh…Of course." He kissed the backs of Cupid's hands. "I will be right back, my sweet." He released his lover's hands and zipped back over to Cupid's parents. "Si?"

"Two things." Aphrodite said. "Number one: if you even think about hurting my little baby ever again, I will rip off your wings and your crown and put them on a plaque. Got it?"

Juandissimo gulped. "Got it."

"Good. Number two: -" She sighed before smiling at him. Hephaestus smiled at him too. "…Welcome to the family, Juandissimo."

Juandissimo smiled. "Thank you."

"Take care of him for us," Hephaestus said. "Don't let him eat too much caramel."

Juandissimo chuckled. "It makes him irritable."

"Oh, so you noticed."

Aphrodite gestured to Cupid, "Now, off you go. Go back to my son."

Juandissimo nodded again. "Goodbye, Señora Aphrodite and Señor Hephaestus."

Hephaestus nodded a goodbye as Juandissimo zipped back over to Cupid. Aphrodite crossed her arms and frowned, "If he hurts my baby, I'm gonna _gut _him like a _fish_."

"Of course." Hephaestus said. "I'll even get my brother to help you."

Aphrodite giggled slightly, then pouted. "I don't want him to grow up, Hephaestus."

"I know. Neither do I. But Cupid _has _grown up. He moved out ages ago." He wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "He'll be alright, Aphrodite. Trust me."

Aphrodite smiled. "I do." She turned and snuggled into her husband's chest.

As soon as Juandissimo was in arms length of him, Cupid began talking, "What did she say? Are you hurt?" He looked him up and down, then raised an eyebrow. "She didn't kill you…?"

Juandissimo chuckled. "Why would she kill me? No, everything went fine, mi amor. Really."

"She didn't kill you…" Cupid muttered in awe. "Which means…she likes you!" He couldn't help the excited "_Yay_!" that passed through his lips. The God of Love leapt into the Spanish fairy's arms, throwing his arms around his neck. Juandissimo grinned and hugged his lover back. Cupid raised his head from Juandissimo's shoulder and planted a huge and loud kiss on his lips. He pressed his mouth to Juandissimo's for a few good seconds and hugged him tightly again. Juandissimo smirked, love hearts floating around his head.

Together, the two made off for Cupid's mansion in Fairy World, where they planned to spend the entire day together. You know, now that they got the approval of the God of Craftsmanship and the Goddess of Beauty.

…

**Author's note:**

**OH, GOD! FINALLY! I've had this around for months, guys! **_**Months!**_

**Now, before anyone starts complaining, YES. I KNOW ARES IS THE FATHER OF CUPID AND ANTEROS! I KNOW APHRODITE AND HEPHAESTUS HAD AN ARRANGED MARRIAGE! I KNOW ARES, HEPHAESTUS, APHRODITE AND ANTEROS ARE GREEK WHILE CUPID IS ROMAN! I KNOW THIS BECAUSE I AM A BIG MYTHOLOGY FAN! I **_**KNOW. *Ahem* **_**Yes, well, anyway, the reason Hephaestus is Cupid's dad in this is because I highly doubt the whole 'Aphrodite cheats on Hephaestus with Ares' thing would be included into a children's cartoon like Fairly Odd Parents. In the Hercules cartoon series, Hephaestus and Aphrodite were happily married without Ares. So, that's what I'm doing here. Plus, I doubt Hephaestus's poor treatment would be included as well. That and, uh…I'm a big HephaestusxAphrodite fan…*Waves HephaestusxAphrodite flag* I also absolutely adore Hephaestus. Any version of him, be it FOP, Hercules, Percy Jackson or mythology. I'm Team Hephaestus. *Nods* Now, let me introduce these guys to you:**

**Let's start with good ol' Hephaestus. In mythology, Hephaestus is the underdog of the Gods. He was thrown off Mt. Olympus by Hera - his own mother (in some versions, it's Zeus who throws him off) - when he was a baby for being ugly. Because of this, his legs are damaged. To avoid fighting amongst the Gods, Hephaestus and Aphrodite were engaged to be married (since Hephaestus wasn't seen as a threat), but Aphrodite wasn't happy about that. She had many lovers, but her main one was Ares. With him, she had Cupid/Eros, Anteros and several other kids. Heph played tricks on them sometimes as revenge for cheating on him. However, in FOP, Hephaestus is the loving father of Cupid and Anteros and devoted husband of Aphrodite. He is very much in love with his wife, as she is with him. Hephaestus hasn't picked a favourite between his sons - he loves them equally. His right leg is prosthetic (built by Heph himself), though it wasn't shown in this chapter. Hephaestus is often the one who scolds his children whenever they do something bad and will call Cupid by his other name if the lil' guy does something wrong (just to let him know Daddy's not pleased). He's also very good at calming his wife down when she fusses about Cupid. When Hephaestus isn't in his workshop, you can find him roaming the many corridors of his home or perhaps sitting in his favourite armchair by the fire, fiddling with the pocket watch he always keeps on hand in case he's in need of something to do. If not, then he's at his forge, which is located far from his home (he doesn't want his family to go in there. 'Too dangerous', he says). He's also a lot stronger then he looks. They don't live on top of Mt. Olympus simply because in the episode 'Freaks and Greeks', it was shown that the Gods like to party. Hephaestus…doesn't. He likes peace and quiet. When he was a teenager, he was very antisocial. *Ahem* **_**Anti-**_**Hephaestus is the Anti-God version of Heph and is the father of Anti-Cupid and Anti-Anteros. He's never seen without his diamond-tipped, black cane and is a big ladies man. He says he doesn't care for his wife, but he's lying. He also likes to tell Anti-Cupid that he's a disappointment (for living with anti-fairies), but all Anti-Cupid wants to do is make him proud. Anti-Heph is the 'leader' of the Anti-Gods and is in charge of destroying things rather then building them. He's also a huge trickster. His main goal is to kill Hephaestus and/or his kids. Yeah…he really hates them.**

**In mythology, Aphrodite was created from Uranus. She is the Goddess of Love, Beauty, Pleasure and Procreation. She's unhappily married to Hephaestus and is the lover of Ares. She's also the mother of Cupid/Eros and his siblings. In FOP, she deeply loves Hephaestus. It is usually her who starts anything romantic, to the point that she probably hasn't heard Hephaestus tell her he loves her. Not because he doesn't, but because he…can't. Heph isn't very good with his emotions, so he gets too flustered whenever he attempts to tell her. Instead, he makes her jewellery and flowers from metal - which she gladly shows off to her friends. She has, unfortunately, picked a favourite between her sons - Cupid is her favourite. When Cupid and Anteros were kids, Aphrodite wasted no time in showing Cupid off to the goddesses, since he resembled her more then Heph. That kind of explains Cupid's flamboyant-ness. Despite this, she does love Anteros as well. She used to date Ares, so now she, Heph and Ares have a very Cosmo-Wanda-Juandissimo kind of relationship (with her being Wanda). Anti-Aphrodite…is kind of like Anti-Juandissimo, actually. She's madly and almost obsessively in love with Anti-Hephaestus. She's also pretty stupid. Anti-Aphrodite is in charge of ugliness. Thus, she wears a paper bag over her head. No one's ever seen what she looks like cause, apparently, she's worse then Medusa. **

**Imagine a brown-haired Cupid wearing a brown suit (with trousers and black shoes) and you've basically got Anteros! In mythology, there are three known ways Anteros was born. One: he was the twin brother to Cupid/Eros. Two (and this is the main one): he was given to Cupid/Eros as a playmate when he got lonely and three: he was born out of the mutual love of Poseidon and Nerites. He's described as similar to Eros in every way, except he has long hair and plumed butterfly wings. But, in FOP (just cause I love screwing things up), he is Cupid's twin brother (older by ten minutes). In both FOP and mythology, Anteros is the God of Requited Love and Punisher of Those who Scorn Love. In FOP, because he barely ever does his job, he is very unheard of and is often mistake for Cupid, who's obviously more famous. Unlike his baby bro, Anteros only dates girls. He can barely keep a girlfriend for a day, though. Anteros enjoys mocking and tormenting his girly brother, but (secretly) loves his baby bro to pieces. He's kind of jealous of Cupid's constant attention. Anteros absolutely adores singing and dancing and is immensely good at both. He also enjoys 'human magic' (rabbit-out-of-a-hat magic), specifically card tricks. When he was a kid, he spent most of his time around the Gods (mainly Apollo, Ares, Hermes and - of course - Hephaestus). Because of this, he is much more masculine then Cupid and loved by a lot of the Gods (especially Apollo). For his and Cupid's birthday, Apollo (God of Music, Sunlight, Healing and Prophecy) gave Anteros the 'Gift of Voice'. Basically, Anteros can copy anyone's voice perfectly, as long as he's heard it a couple of times. The only downside to this gift is that he can only do it while singing (except for Cupid's voice. He already mastered that when they were kids). Apollo didn't give this gift to Cupid, however. Anteros secretly loves Spanish things, which is why he took a liking to Juandissimo so quickly. In later stories, you'll see he almost has a…man-crush on Juan. They have a…very odd bromance, which I guess is a good thing. He's nicknamed Juan 'Alejandro' and 'Spainish' (spay-nish), which is a combination of the words 'Spain' and 'Spanish'. Anti-Anteros is the Anti-God of Unrequited Love and Encourager of Those who Scorn Love. He takes his job very seriously and sometimes helps Anti-Cupid on Anti-Valentine's day. Anti-Anteros loves his twin brother very much and doesn't usually take any notice of Anti-Hephaestus and Anti-Aphrodite. He's not entirely happy his brother is living with an anti-fairy either. **

***Sighs* So, that's Cupid's family. Originally, I was gonna have Himeros (God of Desire and Cupid's bro) in there too. My idea was that he always tried to steal Cupid's boyfriends ('God of Desire', anyone?), including Juan. But, after a while, that idea annoyed me, so I stuck with my very first idea of just having Anteros. **

**FUN FACT!: Eros, Anteros, Himeros and Pothos (all brothers) are part of the Erotes. The Erotes are associated with love, each in different ways. It's said that Erotes have 'especial' control over *Ahem*…homoerotic love. Also, Cupid's name in Latin is (wait for it!)…Amor! Yes! We CupidxJuandissimo fans have **_**mythology **_**on our side! Woo hoo!**

**Also, in the episode Freaks and Greeks, we're introduced to Zeus. Whether Ares or Heph is Cupid's dad…we've technically met Cupid's grandfather and his great-uncle (Poseidon) *Fangirl squeal* We see where he gets his love of parties from…Certainly not Heph.**

***Ahem* Yes well…There are so many 'deleted scenes' to this one-shot, it's not even funny. Some examples are: Juan meets Ares (set around the dinner scene. Heph references this scene, though, when he says he'll make him a sword out of paper. Heph did make him a sword out of paper in this deleted scene), Juan and Anteros talk about 'other names' (set before the bedroom part. Juan mentioned that deleted scene earlier), Juan has a heart-to-heart chat with Hephaestus about Cupid while Heph fixes his own prosthetic leg (set after the bedroom part), Cupid and Aphrodite have a heart-to-heart chat about Juan (set after the dinner scene. Some of the dialogue from that was kept though) and Anteros does a 'human magic trick' (card trick) for Juan, which leaves Juan absolutely puzzled (set in the dinner scene). They were deleted just cause the story was getting too long.**

**I can guarantee these guys will return. I have a story planned that is a father-son thing between Heph and Cupid (it's not part of this series, but it is linked to 'Unrequited', if you can guess what it is). I have another - multi-chapter - story that Anteros stars in, alongside Cupid (…kind of) and *Gasps* Norm the Genie! **_**Whaaat?! **_

**Whether the Anti-Gods will appear…don't know yet. I've kind of got a story in mind that stars them, but I'm working on it. They'll appear in the 100 theme challenge about Anti-Cupid and Anti-Juan, though.**

**Just think, Juan, if you do marry Cupid, you'll be the in-law to these gits. Just imagine if Cupid had introduced **_**Cosmo **_**to them.**

**Cupid, you got questions. **

**Cupid: *Reads questions, then places hands on hips* Pfft! I have a love life too, ya know! **_**Someone's **_**gotta be the lonely one!**

**Now, now, Cupid. Don't be rude.**

**Cupid: I'm not! I'm telling it how it is! And, yeah, I've got other suits. Pink's just the best colour for me!**

**Right. **

**Abnormally long author's note aside, I hope you enjoyed this stupid thing. Took months to write. *Sobs* It turned into a **_**novel…**_


	19. Perfect

**Of Pink Hair and Spanish Flair**

**I don't own Fairly Odd Parents. Butch Hartman does.**

**I especially don't own Everything's Better With Perry from Phineas and Ferb the Movie: Across the 2****nd**** Dimension. Dan Povenmire, Jeff 'Swampy' Marsh, Martin Olson and all the other songwriters on the show do.**

**I do, however, own Katie Katsworth and the parodied version of this song.**

**WARNING!: This series is about CupidxJuandissimo. Don't like, don't read.**

**Relationship: Lovers.**

**Word: Perfect.**

…

The sun was hanging high over Dimmsdale and Katie Katsworth and her godparents were still in their beds, sound asleep. Her godparents were in their puppy forms, asleep in the dog bed beside the bedside table. Katie lay on her stomach, one side of her head buried in her huge pillow, and dressed in her pale blue, polka dot and sheep-decorated pyjamas. As light shined through her window, Katie's hazel eyes fluttered open. Realizing the time of day, she smiled widely and leapt up onto her hands and knees. Throwing back her blanket, she ran over to the dog bed and knelt down beside it. She gave both of her godparents a poke in the back and they jolted awake.

Juandissimo stared up at her with tired eyes while Cupid frowned at her (still not a morning person…). "Good morning, guys." Katie greeted them. "This is a great way to wake up, isn't it?" She didn't wait for an answer as she picked them up - Juandissimo in her left arm and Cupid in her right - and hugged them tightly. "This is gonna be a great day! I can just tell!"

Cupid grumbled quietly to himself and Juandissimo grinned. The next thing either of the men knew, Katie was jumping up and down on her bed. Every time she fell down, Juandissimo and Cupid - who were either side of her - shot up into the air; little canine legs flailing.

_I consider every day a wow,_

_To spend it with my not-so hounds_

Suddenly, Katie picked Juandissimo up and held him up in the air; like she was presenting him to an imaginary crowd. Juandissimo blinked confusedly.

_I__'__m always so ecstatic_

_Cause they__'__re just so fantastic,_

In puffs of pink and purple smoke, Juandissimo and Cupid poofed back into their normal forms. Cupid put his hands to his hips grumpily, "You know, you could've woken us up a bit gentler. My back hurts now. And what was with jumping on the bed? Aren't you a little old to be doing that? And…"

As he rambled, Juandissimo held up his wand as the star began to glow. A small white cup appeared beside him, floating in midair, and filled with brown liquid. A carton of milk appeared next, pouring a good deal of calcium into the drink, then disappeared. Juandissimo used his wand as a stirring stick, glancing at Cupid out of the corner of his eye, then floated closer to Cupid. He handed the God the cup. "And another thing -" Cupid began, interrupting himself by subconsciously taking a sip of coffee. He stopped his speech and blinked. "…What was I talking about?"

Juandissimo smiled and shrugged. "Ah…How much you love me?"

Cupid simply looked confused. Katie giggled behind one hand. Coffee really was magic to Cupid, whether any actual real magic was involved or not.

_Those whacky godparents of mine,_

_Make me smile and grin all of the time,_

"Alright," Cupid said as he came out of his daze, clapping his hands twice. "Chop-chop."

Katie frowned up at him. "I don't wanna go to school…"

"Yeah? And I don't wanna go to work. But we've both gotta do things we don't want to, kid." Cupid replied. He whipped his wand out of his pocket and waved it.

Katie's normal clothes - her hoodie, shorts and beanie - replaced her pyjamas in a puff of pink smoke. Katie smiled up at him. "Thanks."

Instead of replying, Cupid pointed to the bathroom door. Katie sighed through her nose and walked into the bathroom.

Juandissimo watched her go, then smirked at his lover. Cupid glanced at him, "What?"

"Oh, nothing." Juandissimo floated into the bathroom.

"What?!"

"Nothing."

_Life__'__s never fuddy-duddy,_

_With my two bestest buddies,_

The three stood in a line, each brushing their teeth with their own unique toothbrush. Pink for Cupid, purple for Juandissimo and blue for Katie. They spat one at a time - Juandissimo, Katie then Cupid - almost in some odd (slightly gross) rhythm.

_When we__'__re brushing our teeth (Ooh) - it__'__s better,_

"You really must learn to do this yourself, mi Niña." Juandissimo said as he tied the laces on one of her sneakers.

"But it's difficult." Katie complained sulkily.

"I can do it and I don't even wear shoes." Cupid spoke up, floating above them.

"It is easy, mi Niña, really. Watch." Juandissimo repeated the steps, slower then before, as Katie stared; watching as he pulled the laces into a bow. She frowned slightly as he pulled the bow apart. "Now you try."

Katie took hold of the laces in both hands and shakily repeated the sequence. _One lace over the other…under…pull…loop…around the loop…through the hole…and pull. _She smiled widely when she saw the bow her laces had been tied into. "I did it! Look, Juandissimo, I did it! Did you see that?!"

Juandissimo smiled, somewhat proudly. "Well done, mi Niña." It was funny, having such a young godchild like her after having godchildren that could actually tie their laces. It was pretty amusing, especially remembering how excited kids got when they learned a skill that was so simple yet so difficult for them. Cute.

Katie flung her arms around her godfather, hugging him tightly. "Thanks, Juandissimo."

Juandissimo glanced at Cupid, who smiled at him. The Spanish fairy hugged his goddaughter back, the proud smile still etched into his features.

_Tying our shoes (Oh, yeah) - it__'__s better_

Cupid was getting increasingly annoyed. Why the heck was Katie suppressing a laugh every time she looked at him? The heck was her problem? Some sort of inside joke, maybe? "Alright," Cupid said after he finally had enough. "What the heck's so funny?"

Katie began giggling. Juandissimo - who looked like he was stopping himself from laughing - pointed to Cupid's head. Cupid poofed up a mirror and looked into it - and at the mess on top of his head, otherwise known as his hair.

"You've got a case of bed head going on, Mister Cupid…" Katie muttered, then proceeded to laugh.

Cupid frowned at his lover, "You could've told me!"

Juandissimo shrugged as Cupid poofed up a comb and sent it through his hair, pushing it back into its neat curl.

_Combing our hair - it__'__s better_

Every time the three had a group hug, there was a pattern of sorts. Katie would have her left arm around Juandissimo and her right around Cupid and they would be hugging her so that she was in the middle of this hug. It almost upset her because those were like the hugs she and her real parents used to share. But Cupid and Juandissimo were practically her parents now, so that was all that mattered, right?

_Like we__'__re a cheese sandwich and they__'__re the bread_

Katie stared at Juandissimo's face - or, more accurately, his eyes. How the heck did he get eyes like that? It wasn't fair. She wanted purple eyes. "How come your eyes are purple, Juandissimo?"

Juandissimo glanced at her. "…Because of my parents?"

"Well, how come I don't have purple eyes? I want purple eyes."

"I'd be alarmed if you did, mi Niña."

There was a few moments of silence and Katie stared as Juandissimo blinked a couple of times. "Stop rubbing it in my face…" Katie muttered sulkily.

_Blinking our eyes (Oh, yeah) - it__'__s better_

"See?" Cupid said as he reclined in the armchair he had poofed up seconds ago. Katie sat beside him in a matching armchair. "Didn't I tell you this would be relaxing?"

Katie nodded. "It's really soft."

"Yup. Being a God has its perks."

Both breathed in, then sighed happily; completely in unison.

_Breathing in and out (so much better) - it__'__s better_

"Ooh!" Cupid exclaimed, suddenly sitting forward in his armchair. "I almost forgot the best part!" He grabbed a remote - which was linked to both chairs by wires - from underneath his own seat and turned the dial on it. Both chairs suddenly began to vibrate, startling the seven year old.

"Massage chairs?!" Katie asked, voice shaking due to the chair's movement. "Sweet!"

Cupid smirked. Juandissimo frowned as he watched them. He floated down to Cupid, "Uh…But they're not as good as _my _massages, right, mi amor?"

Cupid didn't respond at first, then glanced at Juandissimo. "Did you say something, Juan?" He asked over the noise the chair was making.

Juandissimo frowned even more. He didn't think he'd ever been so angry at a chair before…

_Sitting in a chair - it__'__s better_

"I'd hate to sound like my parents here," Cupid said, arms crossed. "But you do realize your bed's a mess, right?"

Katie glanced over at her bed. Pfft. What was the problem? So the covers were half way off of the bed, the pillow looked like someone had pinned it to the wall and punched it several times and the teddy bear wasn't anywhere near its usual place by her pillow. Big whoop! "You're not really gonna make me clean it, are you?"

Cupid simply stared at her. Katie sighed. "Ok…Juandissimo, I wish my bed was already made!"

A wave of Juandissimo's wand later and Katie's bed was perfectly clean and tidy. Cupid huffed as the little girl looked up at him, smiling cutely. "Taking the easy way out…" Cupid looked at Juandissimo. "She gets that from you, ya know."

_And it__'__s so much easier to make the bed!_

Ever since Juandissimo had been assigned to her, Katie's levels of loneliness had practically disappeared. She remembered when she used to sit by the door and wait for her parents to come home. Of course, they didn't. Sometimes after she had fallen asleep they would come home, but of course they were gone by the next morning, so she'd never gotten to them.

Juandissimo and Cupid, however, were better at keeping promises to return. They were actually there for her, when her own parents had practically abandoned her. She didn't hate her parents but…sometimes it did seem like her godparents were her real family here.

_Everyday__'__s a wish come true,_

_When I spend it with the both of you_

A seven-year-old who acted more like a boy then she did a girl, a Spanish fairy who loved himself far too much and a God who had _natural _pink hair. Not exactly a common bunch, were they?

_Although our little family makes no sense _

_(their family makes no sense)_

But one thing was for certain:

_You__'__re my Fairly Odd Parents!_

_(they__'__re her Fairly Odd Parents)_

_You__'__re my Fairly Odd Parents!_

_(they__'__re her Fairly Odd Parents)_

_You are my Fairly Odd Parents!_

_(they__'__re her Fairly Odd - her Fairly Odd Parents!)_

_You__'__re my Fairly Odd Parents_

_And I just wanna tell you, Daddies, _

"C'mon," Cupid said. "Chop-chop. You'll miss the bus."

Katie swung her bag on to her back. "Can't you guys come with me?"

"We both have jobs to do, mi Niña." Juandissimo reasoned with a shrug.

"But we can walk you to the bus stop, if you want." Cupid added.

Katie nodded. "Yes, please."

Both men poofed into their puppy forms, then jogged after the seven year old as she ran out.

Katie Katsworth looked down at her godparents as they followed at her heels. She smiled brightly at both of them - Juandissimo Magnifico and Cupid - because _these two _were her parents now. Blood related or not.

_Everything__'__s better with you!_

_(Better with you)_

…

**Author's note:**

…**and then in about ten years or so, she'll lose them. But let's not think about that right now.**

**Cupid, isn't it weird that you're becoming more like Hephaestus every day? Soon, we'll see you wearing goggles and overalls and Heph will probably get all emotional cause you're following in his footsteps…or something like that.**

**death mega sega, to answer your questions, yes, Cupid will be meeting Juan's family later on. He'll meet four members of Juan's family. And, to answer your question about his brothers…I don't know. I don't even know if Himeros and Pothos exist in this 'universe'. If you follow the story in mythology of Anteros being Eros's playmate/brother, then Himeros is Eros's twin. Mythology is weird that way. I can, however, give you some info on what my ideas of them would be/would've been:**

**Himeros…is basically a blond Cupid in a white suit. He's flamboyant and girly (much like Cupid) and has a knack for stealing Cupid's boyfriends. He's the only brother who's hair colour doesn't match his suit. I barely remember any scenes I had already created for him, but I do remember him flirting with Juan and practically nicknaming him 'Cutie'. Yeah…Cupid really doesn't like him. **

**Pothos is scared of pretty much everything. He's a ginger haired Cupid in an orange suit and represents longing and yearning. I remember two scenes that included Pothos, both rather comical. He also spent an unusual amount of his time with Himeros, for some odd reason. **

**I don't know what age order they go in mythology-wise (however, it is heavily implied that Eros is oldest), but for my stories, I remember putting them (from oldest to youngest) Himeros, Pothos, Anteros, Cupid. So, yeah. Oldest brother steals boyfriends from youngest brother. Lovely bunch, aren't they?**

**These author's notes have unintentionally become Ask Cupid…which is actually a pretty good idea. Sure, go ahead. Ask him questions. You're up, Cup.**

**Cupid: …Cup?**

**Yeah.**

**Cupid: *Reads over first question* Hmm…Biceps or accent?…Biceps. I didn't talk to him all that much before. But his accent seals the deal. **

**That, and you talked the most when you first met. But his accent **_**is **_**amazing.**

**Cupid: *Reads second question* Wait, what? I wouldn't know. My cherubs buy them. *Puts hands on hips* You don't expect me to do my **_**own **_**shopping, do you, **_**silly**_**?!**

**Don't quote yourself, Cupid. It's not right.**

**Cupid: *Reads next question* Come with pants…? Probably. If they do, I've never worn them. *Reads last question* Chocolate-covered cherries? They're **_**scrumptious! **_**You have good taste. Ever tried a caramel-filled chocolate heart? They're **_**even better!**_

**Caramel makes you irritable.**

**Juan: That is **_**my line.**_

**Oh, don't be so picky, Juan. Anyone can say that to him. He'll get annoyed either way. Besides, you've never given him a box of chocolate-covered cherries.**

**Juan:…**

**Quite. *Ahem* Hope you enjoyed this poor excuse for family fluff.**


	20. Drink

**Of Pink Hair and Spanish Flair**

**I don't own Fairly Odd Parents. Butch Hartman does.**

**I do, however, own these versions of Cupid's family members.**

**WARNING!: This series is about CupidxJuandissimo. Don't like, don't read.**

**Relationship: Lovers (at the end).**

**Word: Drink.**

…

Hephaestus sat in his favourite armchair, newspaper in one hand and cup of coffee in the other. All was quiet. Aphrodite was out with her friends, which also meant Ares wasn't going to disturb him. Good. He hated his brother. Some people would say that, surely, he couldn't hate his own sibling, but he did. Trying to steal his wife…Pfft.

The God of Craftsmanship's leg twitched. Oh, what he wouldn't give to be able to go to his workshop, work on a chariot or two. But Aphrodite had told him that she wanted him in the house more often. Hephaestus, being the gentleman he was, obeyed her wishes; even if she wasn't there to check whether he was in his workshop or not. The cherubs were though, so, no matter what, Aphrodite would find out. Besides, they had their sons to think of.

Anteros was asleep, as far as Hephaestus knew. And Cupid…was most likely with him. Always was. Hephaestus was glad they had different coloured hair. It would be so difficult to tell who was who otherwise.

Whimpering slightly, Hephaestus put his cup of coffee on the saucer, which sat on the arm of the chair. He opened the newspaper and sat back. When Aphrodite got home, he would run out to his workshop and _build something. _Anything because _Gods _he was getting so bored. He supposed he could fiddle with the pocket watch he always kept on hand, though. Take it apart, put it back together again. He could do that ten times in two minutes. Even more times if he was really bored. Oh, why wouldn't something _exciting _happen?! _Why?!_

Then there was a tug on his trouser leg. He almost didn't feel it, since it was the _right _trouser leg that had been tugged. He paused, blinked, then peeked over his newspaper. A tiny, pink-haired God with Hephaestus's blue eyes stared up at him, tiny hand clutching his trouser leg. "Hello, Cupid," Hephaestus said. "How did you get down there?"

Cupid simply stared. Of course he didn't respond. He was too young to speak. That, and he had a pacifier sticking out of his mouth. Any day now, though, Cupid would start speaking. Anteros had already said his first word that morning.

Gods were like fairies in the sense that their babies were shaped like spheres. Anti-God babies were cube-shaped, like anti-fairies. No wonder they were often mistaken for each other.

Hephaestus set his newspaper aside and reached down, scooping his son up in one hand. He set the child in his lap. "I thought you were sleeping." Hephaestus said.

Cupid continued to stare. In his right hand, he held his rattle. Hephaestus hated that thing. _He _hadn't built it. He had attempted to build one for Cupid, but had gone crazy with ideas and had built one that was far too heavy. They'd had to _buy _a rattle. Pfft. _Buy _one…Pfft!

"I'm glad you're here, actually." Hephaestus said to his son. "I was getting so bored. Your mother says I'm not allowed in my workshop for a little while. It's slightly unfair, but I think I'll put up with it." He whimpered. "_I hope _I'll put up with it…" He looked back down at his son, who was giving him that same blank look. "So, uh, what's going on with you?"

In response (or, at least, Hephaestus thought it was a response), Cupid shook his rattle. "Ah, yes," Hephaestus said. "Rattling. Right." He gently took it from his child, who didn't seem to protest. Hephaestus shook it next to his ear, then frowned. "I don't see what's quite so amusing about it, but if you like it…"

Cupid looked at Hephaestus's hand, then crawled forward and latched onto his index finger with both of his small arms. The baby God looked up at his father expectantly. Hephaestus looked down at him. "Got my finger, huh? Well, that's pretty impressive for a child of your age."

Cupid blinked several times before holding Hephaestus's finger tighter. Hephaestus smiled, "I can't wait 'til you grow up. I can teach you to build things. I'll even get you your own goggles." As he handed Cupid his rattle again, the God of Craftsmanship asked, holding his son up to his face, "Would you like that, son?"

Cupid looked up at him then threw his rattle. It bounced off of Hephaestus's forehead. Hephaestus sat Cupid back down on his lap, clutching his forehead with his free hand. "Ow! Ok, ow. Ow. That hurt. Woah."

Behind his pacifier, Cupid smiled. Hephaestus saw this, "Well, I'm glad you find this funny. I think I may have gone blind in one eye." Hephaestus blinked several times. "You've, uh, got quite an arm on you."

"Uh…sir."

Hephaestus looked over at the cherub, who floated awkwardly into the room. "Uh, yes?"

"Hermes is here, sir. He's got mail for you."

Hephaestus's eyes widened. "Oh. Oh, yes. Hermes. Right. It's mail day, isn't it?"

The cherub nodded. Hephaestus nodded and looked down at Cupid, "Right. I'll be right there."

The cherub nodded and flew out. Hephaestus said, "Well, I'd better go and greet Hermes. He'll want my signature." He gently placed Cupid on the arm of the chair and stood up, backing away slowly and making calming gestures with his hands, as though Cupid were a rabid dog he was trying to calm. "Now, you just stay there. I'll be right back. Stay."

Cupid watched as Hephaestus backed out of the room. That man was his father. That much he knew. The lady who was always cooing him was his mother. The boy he was always around was his brother. He didn't know who 'Hermes' was, though.

Cupid's eyes caught sight of the round container in front of him. He didn't particularly know what that thing was, but his father had been holding it earlier. Sometimes, he would bring it to his mouth. Cupid crawled over to it. It wasn't all that tall. Thanks to his ball-shaped body, Cupid was able to bounce up to the top of it. He peeked inside. Some sort of brown liquid. It smelled good, though. Cupid stared, then removed the pacifier from his mouth. After much consideration (as much as a baby can do, anyway), he dipped his pacifier into the liquid. He dunked it a couple of times, then brought it out into the air. The tiny God stared at it, watching as brown liquid dripped from it, then put it back into his mouth. He sucked on the pacifier, drinking the little drops of his father's drink. Slowly, he slowed down before coming to a halt. Cupid smiled as his body began to shake and his eyes began flashing blue. The caffeine had kicked in.

…

Hephaestus hummed as he walked toward his front doors. It was just like him to forget mail day, even though every God loved mail day. Hermes probably didn't though. The poor thing had to fly around to all of the Gods, delivering parcels and letters. Hephaestus wondered how he did it.

"Uh, sir?"

Hephaestus looked over as a cherub approached, holding out a tray of cupcakes, which were decorated with pink icing. "Oh, thank you." Hephaestus said, taking one of the cakes. The cherub zipped off as Hephaestus made it to his front doors, which were wide open. Floating there patiently was Hermes, Messenger of the Gods. Hephaestus nodded to him, "Hello, Hermes."

Hermes was a thin, young-looking man. He was dressed in a traditional white toga, otherwise known as his work clothes (he was one of the few Gods who wore one. Many had just taken to wearing 'normal' clothes). On top of his head of bright blond hair was a winged helmet, which matched his winged sandals - both made by Hephaestus. He had little white wings on his back, but he barely used them. They were weaker then his sandals and helmet anyway. A satchel hung on his shoulder and a caduceus - a winged staff with two snakes entwined - was clutched in his right hand. His hands adorned fingerless gloves that reached his elbows. When he saw Hephaestus, his blue eyes lit up. "Hi, Hephaestus! I've got a parcel for ya!"

"Excellent." Hephaestus nodded.

"It's around here somewhere…" Hermes muttered thoughtfully, digging around in his satchel. He frowned and ripped the satchel from his shoulder then stuck his head inside. Slowly, he began to climb further into the bag until he completely disappeared into it. Hephaestus watched patiently. Suddenly, Hermes burst out of the floating satchel, holding a rectangular parcel. "Found it!" He exclaimed and climbed out of the bag. He took a clipboard and pen out of his toga and handed them to Hephaestus. Hephaestus took them. "Sign here, here, _aaaaaannnnnd _here." Hermes instructed, pointing to the dotted lines on the piece of paper. Hephaestus did as he was told. "So, how's married life?"

"Hermes, I have been married for years and you ask me this question every time I see you. Married life is good." Hephaestus said.

"And your boys? Are they ok?"

"Fine. Anteros spoke this morning."

"Wow, really? That's cool. Do you mind if I tell that to the other Gods?"

"Be my guest." Hephaestus shrugged.

"Well, I better go. I gotta stop by Poseidon, Dionysus, Hades, Artemis, Athena, Apollo and _Ares!" _Hermes counted them on his fingers. Hephaestus frowned at the mention of his brother's name.

"Here." Hephaestus said, holding out the cupcake.

Hermes gasped and took it. "Wow, _thanks, Hephaestus! _You know, you're the _only God _who _tips me!"_

"Well, I'm sure it must be difficult delivering mail to us all. Just something to keep you flying."

Hermes gasped. "You understand, Hephaestus?!"

"Of course."

"Thanks, Heph! Well, bye!" He turned and rocketed off into the sky. Hephaestus turned and began to walk back inside, but heard a voice, "Oh, wait, wait, wait!" Hephaestus turned as Hermes came flying back, almost knocking into him. Hermes steadied himself then said, "Uh, Heph, ya know my sandals?"

"Hm."

"Well, uh, I'm wearing my spare ones - ya know, the ones you made me? - but they really hurt my feet. I…kinda broke my other ones when I delivered mail to Ares the other day. He was working out and stuff and…well…" He reached into his satchel and brought out a pair of winged sandals. "So…maybe you could…?"

Hephaestus held up a hand. "I will get on it as soon as Aphrodite gets home."

"Wow, really? Thanks, Hephaestus!" Hephaestus took the broken sandals from Hermes, who saluted. "I gotta go! Poseidon gets really impatient about his mail! Bye!" He turned and rocketed off again, leaving a line of light in the sky. The wind blew on Hephaestus as Hermes shot off. The God of Craftsmanship closed the doors, then shook the parcel next to his ear. Aphrodite must've bought something because he couldn't recall buying anything. "Alright, Cupid, I'm back. And I've got -" He paused as he entered the room.

Cupid bounced and zipped around the room, giggling and laughing. "What the -?!" Hephaestus exclaimed, dropping the parcel and Hermes's shoes. His son bounced off of the walls. "Cupid! Stop!" He rushed forward, trying to get a hold of his child, but missed by a mile as Cupid bounced off the coffee table. As Cupid bounced off of the ceiling, Hephaestus dived for him, but shot passed him and crashed into the wall. He shook his head to clear it, then ran after his son again. "Cupid!"

Cupid laughed cutely as he continued to bounce around the room, Hephaestus failing to catch him. The God of Craftsmanship paused and stared at him. Calculations ran through Hephaestus's mind. There was pattern, Hephaestus noticed, in Cupid's line of travel. Wall, coffee table, ceiling, floor, bookshelf and back to wall. All in a vicious cycle. Hephaestus watched as Cupid bounced off of the bookshelf (knocking some books to the floor). The God of Craftsmanship dived passed the wall, catching his son in both hands before the child could hit it another time. Hephaestus fell to the floor, then held his son up in one hand like a basketball. He sat up, adjusting his glasses, then looked down at Cupid. "What're you doing…?"

Cupid was shaking in his hands, smiling. Hephaestus sniffed then breathed in, "_Coffee…" _He looked down at him. "You got into my mug, didn't you? You poor thing. Your tiny body can't take that much caffeine." He stood up, cradling Cupid against him. "Don't worry, Cupid. Caffeine rush is something everyone goes through. Daddy's gonna teach you how to get rid of that." He carried his son off.

…

Aphrodite stood over Cupid, who sat on the table, crying his little heart out. "Cupid, please stop crying."

The God didn't stop, however, and continued wailing. Aphrodite sighed. As her husband entered the room, blowing bubbles out of the pipe in his mouth and clutching a cup of coffee, Aphrodite exclaimed, "What do we do, Hephaestus? He won't stop crying! I've changed him, I've played with him, I've pulled faces - well, I had the cherubs do that one - and I've cuddled him! He won't have any milk either! Nothing's working!"

Hephaestus stared at his crying child, blowing more bubbles. Cupid didn't even acknowledge him. Hephaestus clicked his tongue as he stared at him. He stuck his pipe into his mouth and took Cupid's bottle from Aphrodite. He emptied the bottle - pouring the milk down the sink - and poured some of his coffee inside. Aphrodite watched - in shock - as her husband picked up their crying son and stuck the bottle into his mouth. Aphrodite prepared to protest, but Hephaestus held up an index finger. Cupid blinked, then began sucking on the bottle's lid; drinking down the coffee. His tears dried, his eyes shut and he clutched the bottle in both of his hands.

"_Hephaestus!_" Aphrodite exclaimed. "How could you let our baby drink _coffee?! _He's a _baby!_"

Hephaestus removed his pipe from his mouth, "It makes him happy, stops him crying and still feeds him. Isn't that good? Besides…there _is _milk in coffee…right?"

Aphrodite sighed and slapped a palm against her forehead. Cupid removed the bottle from his mouth, pointed up at Hephaestus, and said, "Dada."

Hephaestus grinned. "See? I told you I'd be their first word."

Aphrodite squealed, "His first word!" She turned to the cherub floating nearby. "Go and get the camera! I need to record this!" As the cherub zipped off, Aphrodite watched as Hephaestus cooed at Cupid. She grinned and looked to their older son, who sat in his high chair. "You know your daddy's nuts, don't you, Anteros?"

Anteros - a brown-haired version of Cupid - looked up at her, then pointed at Hephaestus and said, "Dada."

…

"Interesting story, Señor Hephaestus." Juandissimo said to the God who sat in the chair opposite him.

"It is, isn't it?" Hephaestus said. "I'm glad you enjoyed it."

"The only downside to these stupid stories," Anteros, who sat on his father's shoulder, said unhappily, "is that I'm in them too."

"You spent an unusual amount of time together as children." Hephaestus shrugged.

A puff of pink smoke later and Cupid appeared in his living room, a shopping bag clutched in his hand, "Hey, Juan, guess what I found at the -" He paused when he saw his father. "Uh…Dad, what're you doing here?"

"Just sharing some stories with my possible future son-in-law." Hephaestus shrugged.

Juandissimo smirked, "So _that _is how you began your obsession with coffee."

Cupid froze, pondered about it, then gasped and clutched his hair, "_Dad! _How could you tell him that?!"

"Quite easily."

"Are you _crazy?! _This is so _embarrassing!"_

"Alright," Hephaestus said, "so, the next time your birthday comes 'round, I won't give you the totally amazing gift I have planned. When you ask why, I'll say 'Oh, sorry, son, I couldn't. Your boyfriend was there and _that _would be _embarrassing'_. You understand what I am saying, yes?"

Cupid stared, then zipped over to his father and sat on his other shoulder, "I love you, Dad."

"Well, yes, of course you do. I give you amazing presents for your birthday." He sighed. "Everyone loves Hephaestus when he's offering amazing presents…"

A cherub floated into the room, holding a pot of coffee. "Uh, sirs, would you like any coffee?"

"_Yes!" _Hephaestus and Cupid exclaimed in unison, both whipping around to look at the cherub.

…

**Author's note:**

**So, it's all **_**your fault, **_**Hephaestus.**

**Heph: I **_**did not **_**know that was going to happen.**

**Hm. Right. Today's chapter is heavily based off a story my dad told me about how my oldest brother - when he was a baby - used to dunk his pacifier into my father's drinks then stick the pacifier back into his mouth. It wasn't coffee though and he didn't bounce around the room or anything. **

**I'd imagine Heph sometimes visits Cupid and Juan, just so he can bond with his possible future son-in-law. Then he probably reports back to Aphrodite or something. And Gods probably have a harder time talking then fairies…for some reason.**

***Ahem* Now, about Hermes:**

**In mythology, Hermes is the God of Transitions and Boundaries and Messenger of the Gods. He's the second youngest of the Olympian Gods. In lots of media in which Hermes appears, he's basically the Gods' mailman. Hermes was quick and cunning and used to (in some myths) trick people for fun or the sake of humankind. He's the son of Zeus, but not Hera, so he's technically Heph's half-brother. He was also one of Aphrodite's lovers and some people think he is the real father of Eros. In FOP, however, Hermes **_**is **_**pretty much the Gods' mailman. He's close friends with Apollo and (to a lesser extent) Dionysus. He loves sugar (since it keeps him flying and gives him energy) so he likes to be paid with cookies and cupcakes, however not many of his 'customers' tip him. When they were teenagers, Hermes and Apollo enjoyed teasing/bothering Hephaestus (in a 'Come on, let's be friends' kind of way) but Heph was so antisocial that he always told them to go away or simply ignored them. I'm not sure what he is to Heph in FOP, since I doubt they'd put in Zeus's many affairs. His satchel is like the TARDIS.**

***Ahem* Juan. *Points***

**Juan: *Reads question* Well -**

**Cupid: Oh, **_**I **_**can answer that one!**

**Juan: Cupid, mi amor, please.**

**Cupid: *Grumbles***

**Juan: Of course it has! I've become a much better cook! Right, Cupid?**

**Cupid:…No. But he doesn't kill anyone anymore.**

**Juan: I try my best, ok?**

**Cupid: Oh, I'm sure.**

**Yes, thank you, guys. Don't argue.**


	21. First

**Of Pink Hair and Spanish Flair**

**I don't own Fairly Odd Parents. Butch Hartman does.**

**WARNING!: This series is about CupidxJuandissimo. Don't like, don't read.**

**Relationship: Lovers.**

**Word: First.**

…

Cupid _really _hated meetings with the Gods. He didn't understand why he had to go. 'Son of two of the Twelve Olympians'…Pfft! Who cared? He didn't want to sit in a room on top of Mount Olympus, listening to the Gods discuss things that had nothing to do with him. Who cared if Athena could beat Apollo in a chess match? Who cared if Hermes had accidentally lost Poseidon's mail in that satchel of his? Not him. He didn't. And, oh, how embarrassing it was to watch his father get angry at his uncle for flirting with his mother. His brother, however, would drink it all in, laughing and joking around with the other Gods. But the worst thing about going to meetings with the Gods was…the toga. Oh, yes. He had to wear a bloody _toga_. 'Tradition', they said. 'You'll look good!', they said.

'Shut up', he said.

Thank the Gods (or not) that he was home now. Luckily, none of the fairies had seen him in these embarrassing clothes. Oh, Gods, they weren't even pink. White. Like Juandissimo's shirt. Speaking of him… "Juan!" Cupid called out. "I'm home!"

…Nothing. Where were the greetings? The sappy displays of happiness? The exclamation of 'Mi amor, you're home!'? Maybe the fairy hadn't heard him. "Juan, I hope your hands are warm, cause I _really _need a massage right now!"

That should've been a deal sealer. He loved Juandissimo's massages and he knew Juandissimo loved giving him massages. It was an excuse to touch him in semi-inappropriate places, after all. "Juan?!"

"Sir?"

Cupid looked as a cherub floated over. The cherub kept a straight face, but he knew that, as soon as he left, that cherub would burst into laughter. Stupid toga… "Juandissimo's at work."

Cupid huffed. Oh, so Juandissimo couldn't be there to give him a massage, but it was ok for him to go to a place where he would be paid to give _other people _massages? Not fair. Totally not fair. "I'm gonna go lay down." Cupid said to the cherub. "Make me a latte, would you?"

The cherub nodded as Cupid floated over to the stairs. Stupid Gods, telling him he couldn't bring his wand either…Stupid. Why couldn't he? It was ridiculous! Now, he had to _float _to his room instead of simply poofing onto his comfortable bed! Ugh. _Gods. _Always so _picky. _

As soon as Cupid made it to his room, he shut the door and climbed onto his bed. He lay there, on his back, stretched out like a starfish. He breathed in, then sighed through his nose contently. The covers were so soft against his skin, so cool and comforting, that he almost fell asleep right then and there.

Cupid_ really _hated meetings with the Gods.

The worst part was that they (meaning the Goddesses) wanted to meet Cupid's 'fabulous new boyfriend', as Aphrodite had put it (with as much sarcasm as she dared to use in the presence of her brethren). Athena and Artemis, especially. Cupid had spent most of his childhood around the Goddesses (while Anteros spent time with the Gods), so it was no wonder they took more interest in his love life then his twin's. That, and Anteros just couldn't hold down a girlfriend.

Cupid frowned. He had already hated introducing Juandissimo to his mother, so he really didn't want to introduce him to the other Gods and Goddesses. He was just glad Hephaestus had taken everything so lightly. Gentleman or not, Hephaestus wasn't afraid to get out the flames if he was displeased - and that included his sons' love lives. Cupid had had a horrible image of his father burning Juandissimo to a crisp as soon as Anteros had mentioned the little 'Wanda incident'. Oh, well.

Cupid rolled onto his side and breathed in. Ever since Juandissimo had begun sleeping in this bed - occupying the right side of it - the pillows and covers had begun absorbing his scent. Now, it was all over this side. Cupid wasn't clingy. Heavens, no. He knew personal space. But smelling Juandissimo's scent all over the right side of his bed just…made him feel lonely, actually. He was the only one laying in this bed, when usually it was two people: him and Juandissimo. But _no. _Juandissimo had had to go to work.

Cupid wasn't entirely sure when Juandissimo had 'moved in'. There hadn't been any official announcement that he had begun living with the God. He still lived at that little house in Fairy World, after all. But…Gods, did he spend enough time at Cupid's, to the point that his favourite shampoo was in Cupid's bathroom (in reach of the shower), his toothbrush was beside Cupid's in the little cup on the shelf by the sink and some of his clothes were in the closet. Oh, well. It felt better that way. Right, even.

As Cupid rolled onto his other side, he felt something sharp poke him in the chin. He raised an eyebrow and sat up, looking down at his pillow. The corner of something was poking out from underneath and, as Cupid dug his hand under his pillow to retrieve it, he found that it was an envelope. Cupid turned it over in his hands. Simple, white envelope…with his name written on the front. Written in black ink and nice, fancy handwriting. Cupid raised an eyebrow. It was Juandissimo's handwriting and Juandissimo's scent on the envelope. _This better not be a break-up letter…_Cupid thought to himself. _That would explain where Juandissimo is…Work, pfft!_

He took a moment to consider it. He didn't think anything was particularly wrong in their relationship. Flirting with Wanda…still needed some work. Staring at other girls as they passed them…still needed some work. Displaying feelings for Cupid in public…getting better. They were holding hands and would occasionally peck each other on the cheek and Juandissimo would openly use his nicknames for Cupid. Good.

In all honesty, he was sure Juandissimo wouldn't do something as cowardly as breaking up with someone through words written on a piece of paper. Cupid had had a boyfriend who'd done that to him…let's just say he was still in the care of Dr. Rip Studwell (especially after Hephaestus and Aphrodite had gotten to him).

Cupid pursed his lips, then tucked his thumb under the envelope's sealed flap and pulled it open. He breathed in as a musky aroma wafted up into his nostrils. _Juandissimo_. Cupid peered inside the envelope. Inside was a folded piece of paper. He took it out and unfolded it. It was covered in Juandissimo's handwriting, set out in neat paragraphs and sentences. Cupid let his eyes roam over the page. A letter. It was a letter.

_Mi amor, Cupido,_

_Alright. I think we both know I am not used to this. I don't usually write this kind of thing. Not to another señor, anyway. You and I both know that I love the ladies (and the ladies love me too, no?)_

Cupid frowned at this. Yes. Of course he knew. He was forced to see it everyday.

_But I am confused. You're the first (and only) señor I have ever felt this way about before (other then my - muy mucho sexy - self. But how can I not?). I don't know why I like you like this, but I do. Maybe I will figure that part out later…or you could explain it to me, if you'd like. On our next date, perhaps?_

_I am going off topic now. Let me start again. I have been an idiot. About as big an idiot as Cosmo. I've been focusing on the wrong thing this entire time. I have been focused on someone of the past, someone who I should have forgotten about a long time ago. Well, maybe 'forgotten about' is going a bit far. I don't want to forget her. She is the first person to really capture my muy muscular heart. But that does not mean you are not special to me as well. _

Cupid felt his heart begin to melt. Special. He hadn't been called special by Juandissimo before. He read on,

_In fact, most of the time, it is _you _who is in my line of sight (and not just because we - kind of - live together) because you catch my eye. I could watch you all day. You are fragile and beautiful but strong and brave. You are my angel (you have the wings to prove it). I have seen you stand up to Eliminators (and, I must say, you looked _very _attractive while doing so). Even so, sometimes, you need someone with you (I know you will never say that you do, though. It's ok). You know, someone like me._

_I could be there for you, at your side. Actually, I would love to be at your side. I know that sounds like a lie, but it is really not. We could be together, side by side, and not care what anyone thinks. Why should we care? Well, now I am being hypocritical._

_Am I also being hypocritical when I say that I hate thinking about your past relationships? I hate that closet. You know, the one with all the boxes with past gifts inside. I hate that thing. It makes me…angry. Of course, this is probably how you feel about Wanda, so I suppose I deserve it. _

_You are probably laughing at me right now. Your hermoso eyes are probably full of tears of laughter. You are probably sitting there with your afternoon latte (see? I pay attention) and laughing at how muy tonto I must sound right now. But it is what I am sticking with. Besides, I know you like sappy, cliché things. How is this for cliché? _

_Roses are red,_

_Violets are blue,_

_I thought I was sexy_

_And then I saw you_

Cupid smiled. Well, dang, wasn't that just the sappiest thing he'd ever read? Coming from Juandissimo, though, it was expected to be sappy and exaggerated. Why not, right? Cupid's smile faltered slightly as his eyes caught the sight of a little part at the end. He continued reading,

_There is one more thing I need to write before this letter ends, mi amor. So, keep reading, my sweet, because there is one more little part you need to see. _

_Ready?_

_Te amo. _

Cupid grinned, shut his eyes and held the note to his chest, love hearts floating around his head. Oh finally! A love letter from Juandissimo! About time this dream of his became reality! This was yet another thing he could the Goddesses about. They would probably all squeal and giggle (like they usually did when Cupid told them about Juandissimo) and ignore Aphrodite's disapproving glare.

Cupid removed the letter from his chest and stared down at the handwriting, rereading the letter over and over again. Despite how perfect the note seemed, the ending…bothered him. It truly did. He didn't -

"Cupid, mi amor, I'm home!"

Cupid paused when he heard that voice. He didn't move. For some reason, he couldn't.

"Cupid? My darling, where are you?"

One quick _poof _and Juandissimo Magnifico appeared in the bedroom, wisps of purple smoke disappearing into the air. "Ah, _there _you are, my sweet!…Why are you wearing a dress?"

Cupid ignored his question. Juandissimo didn't get an answer. All he got was a very delighted, pink-haired God leap into his arms. The force made Juandissimo put a hand to the wall behind him to keep himself from falling over. He wrapped his other arm around his lover's waist as the God hugged his neck tightly. "Cupido?"

"_You _are the _sweetest _guy _ever_." Cupid said happily.

Juandissimo blinked, then smiled, "Ah. I am so happy you found it. I didn't know where to put it."

"Yeah, well, luckily for you, I get very tired after meetings." There was a comfortable silence that the two were more then happy to bask in, but then Cupid spoke, "Juan,"

"Yes, my sweet?"

"There is _one part _I didn't get."

"Oh?"

Cupid released Juandissimo's neck and stood comfortably in his arms. He pointed to a specific place on the letter, "What does the ending part mean?"

Juandissimo's body stiffened and his smile dropped in…surprise? Distraught? Anger? Whatever. It'd dropped for a reason. Of course it did. He'd spent hours writing that letter, biting the end of his pen with frustration. The bin was chock-full of crumpled up failed attempts (he'd have to empty that later). He looked down at his pink-haired lover. "Eh…What?"

"The ending. It _is _Spanish, right? What does it mean?"

Ah. Failure. That's what his smile had dropped in. _Failure. _Juandissimo stared down at him for a few moments, contemplating on what to do, then simply smiled again - albeit a smaller smile then before - and hugged Cupid closer. "I will tell you later."

"Oh, come on. Tell me."

"No."

Cupid crossed his arms stubbornly, "I'll just find out for myself."

"It is probably best if you hear it from me."

Cupid pouted at him, "Then tell me."

"Not now."

"When?"

"Later."

Cupid frowned. Despite his anger, he couldn't resist resting his head against Juandissimo's chest. Juandissimo placed his hand on the side of Cupid's head, gently holding it against his torso, "Again," the Spanish fairy muttered, "why are you wearing a dress?"

Cupid pulled back, crossing his arms, "It's a _toga. A guy's toga._" He looked down at the article of clothing in distaste. "We have to wear them when we go to Mount Olympus for a meeting with the other Gods." He came to rest his head against Juandissimo's chest again. His hand snuck around to Juandissimo's back pocket.

The Spanish fairy paused when he felt Cupid's hand back there and was about to make a witty comment about how Cupid should be able to resist him by now, but then he felt his wand disappear from his pocket. Cupid twirled Juandissimo's wand and he was suddenly wearing his pink suit again. He sighed in relief, "Thank goodness…I hate that thing."

Juandissimo smirked, then cupped Cupid's face and kissed him lovingly and gently. Cupid, of course, returned the kiss with as much passion and love as he pleased (which was a heck of a lot).

"Uh…sir?"

Cupid's eyes flew open and he broke the kiss, looking over Juandissimo's shoulder at the cherub floating there. "What?"

"Your latte, sir." The cherub held out Cupid's mug, which was full of caffeinated goodness. Juandissimo took it from him, giving him a nod.

"Thanks." Cupid said. The cherub nodded and floated away. Cupid yawned and climbed out of Juandissimo's arms. He floated over to his bed, putting Juandissimo's letter on the bedside table then pulled back the blankets and climbed in. Realizing what he was about to do, Cupid took off his coat and tie. Juandissimo tilted his head in curiosity. Cupid patted the place next to him, "Sleep with me."

Juandissimo almost dropped the mug in surprise, "Huh? W-What?"

"Not like _that._" Cupid frowned. "I mean, I'm tired and I wanna go to sleep. Come over here and sleep with me."

"Oh. Right." Juandissimo said awkwardly and he honestly sounded disappointed. The fairy shut the bedroom door, then floated over and set Cupid's mug on the bedside table for later. Lifting the covers, Juandissimo climbed in to the bed. Without waiting for the Spanish fairy to get comfortable, Cupid half climbed on top of him and used his chest as a pillow, an arm slung over him. Juandissimo smirked and hugged him with one arm.

"When I wake up," Cupid said, "warm your hands up. I want a massage."

Juandissimo chuckled, "Of course. I will be here when you wake up, my sweet."

A few moments later, Cupid was fast asleep. The Spanish fairy simply smiled.

Juandissimo would tell Cupid what that last part of the letter meant when he woke up.

…

**Author's note:**

**Horribly sappy one-shot is horribly sappy. And OOC.**

**Now, just imagine if that letter **_**hadn't **_**been from Juandissimo. Imagine how **_**that **_**would've panned out.**

_**If you guys could vote on the poll on my profile, that would be swell. Despite the question, it's important.**_

**Let me tell you guys the story of how this one-shot came to be:**

**A month or so ago, I was rereading **_**Live for the Chase. **_**As I read the part that said Juandissimo had never written Cupid a love letter, I thought to myself 'Man, I need to write that sometime'. I never did because I forgot to. Derp. Then a review from Cupcake-Ninja-Platypus said that they thought Juan would write a note in Spanish for Cupid, telling him that he loves him, and Cupid translates it with magic. This reminded me of that story I forgot to write. Then I forgot to write it again. Herp derp. A week or so later, in my English class at school, we had to write love letters. Not particularly in our point of view or to anyone in particular. Just anything, as long as it was a love letter. I wrote one in the point of view of a guy to another guy (I'm pretty sure I'm the only one who wrote about a same sex couple. Go me). Naturally, as I wrote it, I had Juan and Cupid in mind (I didn't put their names, but I did write 'my sweet' and I did say that the guy he was writing to had blue eyes and liked coffee. Deerrrp). So, I put the idea in the review with my love letter and then put them with the old story I had planned and boom. This stupid, sappy thing was born. In fact, most of the love letter in this one-shot **_**is **_**the thing I wrote in English. **

**I hope you don't mind, Cupcake-Ninja-Platypus. **

***Ahem* Hey, Cup. You're up.**

**Cupid: *Reads questions* Do I like tea? Heck, no! It's disgusting! That stuff is for British people!**

**Ok, one: that's offensive. Two: that's a stereotype. I'll have you know that I'm British and I've never tasted a sip of tea in my entire life.**

**Cupid: Favourite coffee? That's like choosing your favourite kid -**

**Well, Aphrodite did that.**

**Cupid: Hm…French Vanilla's scrumptious…but caramel's always good…mocha's great for Valentine's Day…Oh, I don't know! They're all my favourite.**

**Hm? Questions for moi? Why, yes, Hermes does get along well with Cupid and Anteros (Anteros especially). Anteros spent quite a bit of time around Hermes when he was little, so those guys have bonded. Will Juan meet the other Gods?…Meh. He'll, for certain, meet Ares. I know he'll definitely meet Ares. He's probably already met Hermes (Hermes still delivers Cupid's mail, so they probably wandered into one another some time). I'm not sure if he'll meet the others. Probably. Maybe. Dunno.**

**Anti-Juan: We got **_**hugged, Anti-Cupid!**_

**Anti-Cupid: Ugh. I hate being hugged.**

**Anti-Juan: Except for my hugs, right? You love my hugs! *Hugs Anti-Cupid***

**Anti-Cupid: *Screams* GOOD EMOTIONS! **_**BURNING!**_


	22. Valentine

**Of Pink Hair and Spanish Flair**

**I don't own Fairly Odd Parents. Butch Hartman does.**

**WARNING!: This series is about CupidxJuandissimo. Don't like, don't read.**

**Relationship: Lovers.**

**Word: Valentine.**

…

It was ironic that the only day of the year that Cupid and Juandissimo couldn't fully spend together was _Valentine's Day. _Valentine's Day! Of all days! But it _was _expected. Cupid had to work on Valentine's Day (obviously). What would Valentine's Day be without _Cupid? _Nothing. That's what. Just a meaningless day of _nothingness. _Besides, he was too tired after a day of shooting arrows at people to do anything romantic (oh, the irony).

Juandissimo had to work too. Strange as it was, a lot of males seemed to think that bringing their lovers to the spa was a good idea for Valentine's Day. Oh, yes. Nothing better then watching some other guy touch your lover in semi-inappropriate places (otherwise known as a 'massage') on the day of love. Oh, no. Nothing better.

Pfft. Juandissimo had his own love to think about, thank you very much.

Anyway, it always kind of hurt that Cupid couldn't spend any time with his lover on Valentine's Day. He was the God of Love. He helped people find love all day, but _he _couldn't be with _his _love? Oh, that's _harsh. _It didn't help that he had to leave very early in the morning, so they didn't even have time to say goodbye to one another or have a goodbye kiss. Juandissimo would simply wake up to find a box wrapped in pink wrapping paper. While he enjoyed these gifts, a good morning kiss would be much better. But _no. _Cupid had to _work._

Again, _harsh._

Oh, well. That would change sometime. Juandissimo had a plan. No _way _was he going to spend Valentine's Day (technically) alone. That was embarrassing. Made it look like Cupid didn't want to be around him.

Well, it wasn't the _original _Valentine's Day this plan would happen on…

…

"Juan, what is this?"

Juandissimo - dressed in that dark pink shirt he knew Cupid liked - grinned as he led Cupid toward a wooden door, hands over the God's eyes. Cupid's hands were on Juandissimo's wrists after his previous attempts to put his lover's hands down (honestly, magic was _wasted _on this man). "It is a surprise, mi amor."

Cupid put a hand out, feeling around to try and get some sort of clue as to what his boyfriend had planned. Juandissimo surprised him as often as he could, so one would expect Cupid to be used to this sort of thing. But he was still tired from yesterday - the great day known as Valentine's Day - and he really just wanted to lay down with a cup of coffee and a good book. But, you know, if Juandissimo had something planned, who was he to ruin it? "This isn't another massage thing, is it?"

"No." Juandissimo reached out and opened the door. "Ok, amor. Step forward."

Cupid did as he was told. "Ok. We're in a different room now, aren't we?"

"Si." Juandissimo took a moment to look around the room, checking everything was ok. Oh, yes. Everything was fine, just the way he'd left it. Brilliant. Juandissimo grinned and uncovered Cupid's eyes. "Alright, amor. You can look now."

Cupid let his blue eyes fall upon the sight in front of him. The room was lit with candles and contained a round table, covered with a fancy tablecloth, a couple of glasses and two plates. Another candle was set between them, a little flame dancing upon the stick of wick; enveloping the room in a soft, romantic atmosphere. Cupid tilted his head. Juandissimo leaned down to talk in his ear, "Do you like it, my sweet?"

"Yeah…" Cupid said, almost awkwardly, then looked at Juandissimo over his shoulder, "But, ah, what is it? You made me dinner?" His veins froze at the idea. It was a sweet gesture, but also a potential killer. Everyone knew how bad Juandissimo was at cooking.

"It is my present to you." Juandissimo said. "You're always so busy on Valentine's Day, I never get to please you. So, we will have our _own _Valentine's Day - on February _fifteenth_."

Cupid stared at him for a second, letting the words sink in. His lover - his handsome, sexy, Spanish lover - had put all of this together, all for him. Cupid loved being spoiled. His parents spoiled him whenever they could. He looked back at his surprise and looked around. Briefly, he wondered if this would disturb the other Holiday Leaders. If this was taken literally and technically, he now had two holidays. Would they take it literally? Take it as something more then a sweet gesture of love? Oh, who cared if a pink rabbit, a giant baby, an idiot who told too many jokes, a fat guy in red and a dog with bat wings all got jealous? Not him! Not now, anyway. Besides, he had a whole army (family) of people who could easily get rid of them.

"Cupid?" Juandissimo said worriedly, taking the God's silence the wrong way. "Have I upset you, my sweet? Do you not like it?"

Cupid grinned and clasped his hands together, "Oh, Juan! This is _so sweet! I love it!" _He turned around and leapt into his boyfriend's arms. Juandissimo was more then glad to return the embrace, a warm smile on his lips. He had suspected Cupid might be upset, since he was kind of messing with his holiday and that last time _that _happened, someone almost died! Cupid pulled back and pressed a soft kiss to his boyfriend's lips.

Juandissimo grinned and took his hand, "If you thought that was sweet, just wait." He led his pink-haired lover over to a structure with a tarp. The Spanish fairy took hold of it, then pulled it off. Cupid looked up at his gift, an eyebrow raised. Standing three (or maybe four) feet tall was a machine that resembled a stepped cone, a crown at the top and stacked tiers over a basin at the bottom. Cupid opened his mouth to say something, but Juandissimo held up an index finger to silence him. He pushed a button on the side of the contraption. Golden-brown liquid poured down, creating waterfalls of the stuff.

Cupid recognized the substance as it flowed, "A caramel fountain!"

Juandissimo nodded, "…The joke is not perfect, I admit. It needs help."

"This is perfect!" Cupid exclaimed in delight. He zipped forward and dipped a finger into the waterfall. Retracting his finger, he happily licked the caramel off.

Juandissimo watched then muttered, "I am probably going to regret that one later…" He shook his head, as if to clear it, then took hold of Cupid's hand. "Hold on, mi amor." Cupid looked at him confusedly. "We cannot have dessert before dinner, now can we?"

Cupid smiled at him as the fairy led the God over to the table. He pulled the chair out for Cupid, then pushed it back as the God sat down comfortably. Juandissimo zipped over to the other side of the circular table and sat down in his own seat. Cupid put one elbow on the table, head resting on one hand. He smiled at Juandissimo, who grinned back at him. "One more question," Juandissimo said, holding up an index finger. He reached behind his back, poofing up yet another gift, and then held it out for Cupid. "Will you be my Valentine?"

Cupid giggled and took the red rose from his lover, "Wouldn't have it any other way."

Juandissimo's grin widened. Both men picked up their glasses. "By the way," Juandissimo said. "I didn't cook _any _of it."

The lovers clinked their glasses together.

…

Juandissimo led Cupid down the hall by his hand. Cupid smiled. The food had been delicious (prepared by the cherubs) and the caramel fountain more so. One could only guess what Juandissimo was doing now. "One more sorpresa, mi amor."

Cupid felt giddy with excitement. Juandissimo stopped them in front of the door to the bedroom. Cupid raised an eyebrow as Juandissimo opened the door. Cupid's other eyebrow jumped up to meet the one that had already risen.

Rose petals were scattered across the bed and the room was dimly lit with two candles on the bedside tables, giving it a romantic glow.

Cupid looked up at Juandissimo, only to see him smirking devilishly. The Spanish fairy waggled his eyebrows and Cupid smiled, almost giggling. The two floated inside, then Juandissimo shut the door.

That door wasn't going to open again any time soon.

…

**Author's note:**

**A Valentine's Day fic at Christmas time. What a rebel I am.**

**Here's another fic I've had around for months and never finished. *Sighs* But it's…fluffy, I guess. **

**After reading this, is anyone else thinking what I'm thinking?…*Sings* **_**Can you feel the love tonight? **_

**I'm not kidding, I'm listening to that while writing this.**

**Oh, man. You're asking if the antis are returning. Uh…Yes. Probably soon. I've got a half-written one-shot where they'll appear. In that, you'll see that Anti-Juandissimo has more brain cells then Anti-Cupid thinks. I've also been trying to write another one-shot (sequel to **_**A Prison Cell for Two) **_**for a while now, but I simply can't get inspiration. I know the story, it's just writing it down. But I'll keep trying because it's fluffy…and involves a cupcake.**

**Don't worry, CassyG. You're not weird. I know several people who do the same thing.**

**Cupid: What gifts have I gotten from Juan? Lots of stuff. Mostly chocolate and flowers. The caramel fountain's a keeper. Sweet and meaningful? Well, there was that time he got me that g-**

**Ah, ah, ah, Cupid. That's spoilers for another story. **

**Cupid: Yeah, Juan's told me. In Spanish **_**and **_**English. He tells me whenever he can. Mostly after we kiss.**

**Juan: What nice things does Cupid do for me?**

**Cupid: I don't kill him for flirting with Wanda.**

**Juan: Ah, si. And -**

**Cupid: I make sure my mom doesn't kill him.**

**Juan: Amor, please. I'm trying to answer. Ah…sometimes he gets me gifts too. Simple things. But I mostly give gifts. *Puts hands on hips* **_**I **_**wear the pants in this relationship.**

**Quite literally, he does.**

**Cupid: Oh, **_**please. **_**Everyone knows **_**I **_**wear the pants.**

**Not real -**

**Cupid: Shut up.**

**Anti-Juan: Did ya hear that, Anti-Cupid?! They **_**miss us!**_

**Anti-Cupid: *Crosses arms* Yeah, well, I don't miss them. And I **_**am not **_**cute. I'm a **_**fierce **_**Anti-God, son of Anti-Hephaestus and Anti-Aphrodite! And **_**I **_**-**

**Am getting hugged by gamer girl247.**

**Anti-Cupid:…What? *Is hugged* **

**Anti-Juan: Group hug! *Joins in hug***

**Anti-Cupid: **_*****_**Screams* **_**GOOD EMOTIONS!**_


	23. Heart

**Of Pink Hair and Spanish Flair**

**I don't own Fairly Odd Parents. Butch Hartman does. **

**WARNING!: This series is about CupidxJuandissimo. Don't like, don't read.**

**Relationship: Lovers**

**Word: Heart**

…

If there was one thing Juandissimo hated, it was knowing Cupid had had boyfriends before him.

The girls, he didn't mind (for some reason). It was the guys he didn't like. He wouldn't call it jealousy, though. Why should he? Cupid was his now. He was sexy, Spanish, handsome and strong. He was _better _then the others and he knew it. He knew he was the best out of them all. Of course he was. He was Juandissimo Magnifico and he was better then them.

…He still didn't like it.

As Juandissimo lay in bed next to his lover one night, he pondered the God's love life. He particularly hated that stupid shelf with all the stupid boxes with all the stupid gifts from all the stupid ex-lovers inside. Stupid thing. He hated how Cupid had kept all of those things, all because of some stupid advice his mother gave him. Stupid advice. What would Cupid need with such things anyway? Use them to make him jealous? Because, Gods, was it working. Oh, no, wait. Not jealousy. Totally not jealousy. No.

Anyway, he hated counting all of the names of people - _men - _who had once held Cupid's heart and he hated knowing that each and every one of them had snapped it to pieces. It had mended itself, then was captured once more. Then it waited to be broken. Juandissimo currently held it and he took great pride in knowing that he did. It wasn't going to get broken anytime soon. Still, he didn't like to be reminded that there had been people who had snapped his lover's heart to pieces.

Why, just the other day Juandissimo had found Cupid sitting in his armchair, a huge book open in his lap. As Juandissimo approached, he saw that Cupid had a plush kitty beside him as well - the one Cosmo had won for him at that stupid carnival. The Spanish man immediately frowned. Cupid sensed his presence and looked over his shoulder, "Oh, hi, Juan." The God had greeted. Juandissimo was too distracted by the pictures in the book to respond. "I was just going through my photo album."

Oh, yes. Juandissimo could see that. The fairy looked down at the various pictures of the God with people who were obviously past lovers. Cupid turned the page and Juandissimo gritted his teeth when he saw a picture of Cupid laying down with a man who was _most certainly _not him. The Spanish man looked at the cat beside Cupid with distaste, "What're you doing with that?"

Cupid glanced at him, then looked at the cat, "Hm? Oh, I dunno. It's cute and cuddly."

Juandissimo pursed his lips, "Well, I do not know about cute, but _I'm _cuddly."

"But you're not a cat. Sometimes, a God wants to hug a cat."

Juandissimo's frown deepened. Oh, yeah? Well, wouldn't we all like to see Hephaestus, Aphrodite or Anteros hug a cat? Oh, while we're at it, we'll just send _cats _out to _all _of the Gods!

_Calm down, Juan. It's just a cat._

Juandissimo fished his wand out of his back pocket and waved it once. Cupid heard the small _poof! _and turned his head to look at Juandissimo. "Juan? Where'd you go?"

From out behind the armchair stepped a purple cat with a star on its collar. Cupid looked down at it as it licked one of its own paws and sent it through the fur on its head. "You wanted to cuddle a cat?" It asked with a Spanish accent.

Cupid rolled his eyes, "Very funny, Juan."

"What?" Juandissimo jumped onto the arm of the chair. "I am just granting your wish. After all, I am a _fairy_, no?"

Cupid shrugged. "When I said 'cat', I meant one that's made of plush."

Juandissimo frowned. He looked down at the photo album with distaste again. Cupid turned over two pages. "You missed - "

Cupid frowned, "I don't wanna see pictures of _him._"

Juandissimo tilted his head. The purple cat gritted his teeth when he saw a picture of Cupid kissing one of his past - _male _- lovers. Cupid glanced at him, "Oh, my - Are you jealous?"

"No. Of course not." Juandissimo jumped down from the chair and poofed back into his normal form.

"Oh, come on. I _told _you, they're in the _past. _That's why they're on 'The Shelf'." He used his fingers as quotation marks. "So stop bothering me about it."

Juandissimo had frowned and floated away. He honestly didn't see why Cupid would keep that stuff! Why? When would he _ever _need it?! Fine. If Cupid wanted a cat, he would get a cat.

So, a couple of days after, while Cupid was still asleep, Juandissimo had gone out. Straight down to the nearest carnival. Pfft. Why was he going to _buy _one when Cosmo had _won _a cat for Cupid? Went through all that trouble throwing plastic baseballs at pins as well. Buying one was taking the easy way out and Juandissimo was one to take challenges (probably why he kept flirting with Wanda).

When Cupid had finally awoke, he was greeted by his Spanish lover. "Hola, my darling." Juandissimo had greeted with a smile, which quickly faded as he narrowly dodged the pillow that was flung at him.

Cupid frowned at him, "What do you want?"

"Eh…" Juandissimo quickly poofed up a cup of coffee and handed it to him. Cupid took it and held it in both hands, almost protectively, as he took a sip.

Juandissimo heard him swallow, then sigh happily. The God opened one eye and stared at him, "What?"

"I got you something while I was out." Juandissimo brought his hands out from behind his back. Cupid raised an eyebrow at the plush cat in his lover's hands. Its 'fur' was pink and a little purple bow was wrapped around its neck. "See? Is it not adorable?"

Cupid stared at it, "…This is about the Cosmo cat, isn't it?"

"No!" Juandissimo replied, a little too loud. "I just thought you might like a cat."

Cupid smiled, "Well…it is kinda cute…" He took it from his boyfriend and hugged it close. "Thanks, Juan."

Juandissimo smiled. The only thought that was running through his mind was: _Take that, Cosmo!_

Juandissimo frowned at the ceiling. His love was fast asleep with his new cat tucked under his arm. Thinking back on those two events, Juandissimo realized how possessive he must've seemed. Pfft. Possessive. He wasn't possessive. Ok, maybe sometimes. But one good thing came out of those events: he found out one way to Cupid's heart was spoiling him. Ok. Good. Then he would continue to spoil him. Anything to keep those past lovers away from him. The Spanish fairy let out a yawn.

Oh, he would continue to spoil Cupid alright. You know, in the morning…

…

The next morning, Juandissimo sat up, noticing the lack of pink-haired God. As he prepared to get dressed for the day, he noticed a lack of something else: his shirt. Coming from Juandissimo, that shouldn't sound so shocking, but he wasn't referring to the one on his body. After all, the one on his body was the sleeveless shirt he always wore to bed. He was referring to the one he wore during the day. It…was gone. Last night, he hadn't been bothered to put his shirt away in the closet or anything and had just thrown it to the floor (Cupid was already asleep, so Juandissimo had dodged his disapproving comments…for now). For a second, he thought that maybe the cherubs had taken it to wash (they sometimes did that), but then he saw his pants on the floor. Juandissimo raised an eyebrow. Why had they only taken his shirt? Maybe they were only washing the white clothing? One would think Juandissimo would simply poof himself up some clothes, but the curiosity blocked common sense and he floated out of the room.

As he exited the bedroom, the sudden scent of something delicious reached him and his curiosity rose to new levels. Who was cooking? The cherubs? Well, they were being busy bees today, now weren't they? The Spanish fairy floated down to the kitchen. As he neared, he heard his lover humming a slow tune. Ah. So Cupid was there. Good. "Cupido, do you know where my shirt -" He paused as he saw his lover. "- is?"

Cupid flipped one of the pancakes over, his back to Juandissimo. Juandissimo blinked, trying to test if he was dreaming this up. Nope. He wasn't. Not only was Cupid cooking for _himself (_for a change) but hanging on Cupid's torso, like a coat on a coat rack, was Juandissimo's shirt. It was obviously too big for him, since Juandissimo couldn't even see his diaper underneath it. If Cupid _was _wearing a diaper, that was. If not…then what a way to wake up!

Cupid raised an eyebrow, "Hm? Did you say something, Juan?"

Juandissimo stared then smirked and floated over. He wrapped his arms around his lover's waist (oh, yep, he _was _wearing a diaper, Juandissimo noted with…minor disappointment) and kissed his neck softly, "Well, don't you look sexy?"

Cupid glanced at him and smiled, "I hope you realize this shirt is _mine _now."

"Oh, really?"

"Hm-mm." He pointed at him with the spatula. "Teach you for leaving it on my floor." He shut his eyes and pouted. "Next time you do that, I'm pairing Remy with _Timmy._" He glanced at Juandissimo. "Yeah, not smiling _now_, are you?" Cupid scoffed. "No one smiles when Cupid threatens to mess up love lives."

Juandissimo cleared his throat. "This is one of the only times I have seen you _not _wearing pink."

"Watch it, mister. I have a magic wand and I'm not afraid to use it." Cupid looked at the pancakes, "Did you want syrup with these or what?"

Juandissimo shrugged. Yet another thing he would store away in to memory. Another way into Cupid's heart: let him wear your shirt.

Oh, yes. Juandissimo was definitely going to keep Cupid's heart - safe and unbroken - for quite awhile.

…

**Author's note:**

**I survived the 'apocalypse'. Anyone else survive?**

**Was reading through some old reviews and rediscovered that you like jealous Juan. Have some jealous Juan. And, Cupid, don't parody your father's line from 'Drink'. Just not right, man.**

**I was dared to write three 'fun' facts about myself in my next author's note (aka, this one). Here's three facts:**

**1) My mouse cursor is Fairly Odd Parents. More precisely, normal = Juandissimo, text select/horizontal resize/diagonal resize/alternate select = Cosmo (he's smiling at me as I write this), vertical resize/other diagonal resize/move = Wanda, link select = wand, unavailable = Cosmo and Wanda as goldfish, working in background/busy = poof cloud. All of them (except for the wand) are animated too, so Juan, Wanda, Cosmo and the goldfish float like in the cartoon, while the cloud continuously grows and shrinks. It's pretty cool.**

**2) When I was younger, I used to ship Anti-CosmoxWanda. I know, I'm surprised too. Strangely, a piece of me still ships this.**

**And 3) I'm related to Gary Oldman, the guy who plays Sirius Black in Harry Potter. He's my father's distant cousin. *Waggles eyebrows***

**There you go. Three fun facts about myself. Weren't really fun but, oh, well.**

**I should be continuing with the Father-son story between Heph and Cupid, the Juan and Wanda story (that I haven't told you about 'cause I'm evil) and the one-shot in this series known as 'Meeting' (which is basically some huge thing showing you guys exactly what happens at these 'Meetings with the Gods' Cupid has to attend. Yes, you meet the Gods including *Gasps* Ares! So, you'll see the little feud he has with Heph. Fun times) but I decided to write this instead because, as stated before, I'm evil.**

**Mm. Now, about Juan's family…Sorry to those who are excited about it, but that one-shot won't be up for ages, mainly cause I need to finish both plot and characters. Cupid's family was practically handed to me on a silver platter, I just needed to change a few things. So…yeah, sorry. It will be mentioned in a different one-shot, however, **_**why **_**Cupid hasn't met them yet and why Juan is **_**very **_**hesitant to introduce him to them (more so, his dad). I'll give you a hint: What's different about Cupid to all of Juan's **_**other **_**lovers? You can work it out from there.**

**Now, before I let Cupid answer your question, I have a question for you guys. Or, shall I say, ahem…QUESTION TIME!: What **_**other **_**FOP pairings do you guys like? Which ones do you **_**hate? **_**I'm really interested in knowing. They can include OCs (mine, yours, somebody else's) and can be whatever you want (slash, het, etc.). I'll tell you mine in the next author's note.**

**Cupid: *Looks at Juandissimo, who's holding a bowl of…something. Looks back at readers, then holds up wand. Suit turns red* Eh. Red's the new pink anyway.**

**That's cheating. Red's just another version of pink.**

**Cupid: Ugh. Fine! *Holds up wand. Suit turns powder blue* There!**

**Juan: But…I made it especially for you…**

**Cupid: Eh…not hungry. **

**Now, remember, you have to wear that for a year.**

**Cupid: *Grumbles***

**CassyG, of course you can hug Anti-Cupid. *Picks Anti-Cupid up and throws him into crowd of fans* **_**Hug him!**_

**Anti-Cupid: *Disappears in crowd* No! No, wait!**

**Anti-Juan: *Voice is heard inside the crowd* Hi, Anti-Cupid!**

**Anti-Cupid: *Muffled screams* GOOD EMOTIONS!**


	24. Enough

**Of Pink Hair and Spanish Flair**

**I don't own Fairly Odd Parents. Butch Hartman does.**

**WARNING!: This series is about CupidxJuandissimo. Don't like, don't read.**

**Relationship: Lovers.**

**Word: Enough.**

…

Juandissimo smirked as he looked over his shoulder at the pink-haired beauty. He was almost tempted to go over and say hola. Why not, right? He could. He had eyes, he could let them wander if he wanted. Juandissimo had a reputation to uphold after all. Maybe he _should _go over to say hello. In a…friendly sort of way. Well, in a 'Juandissimo' kind of friendly. Mm…there was some kind of…noise…Eh. Nothing important. Juandissimo watched as the pink-haired beauty floated away with some friends. All he had to do was zip over and say -

"Juandissimo!"

Juandissimo snapped back to reality and turned around to Cupid. Oh. That noise had been - "Were you listening?"

Juandissimo chuckled, almost nervously. The two were sat at a table at the café they had visited when the Eliminators had attacked. In front of Cupid was a caramel-filled chocolate heart (or, at least, what was left of it) and Juandissimo had a salad (as was expected). "Of course!" He leaned across the table and took hold of Cupid's hand. "How could I listen to anything but your angelic voice?"

He had hoped that would soothe the God's anger, but Cupid scowled and took back his hand, crossing his arms angrily, "Then what did I just say?"

Juandissimo's smile faltered. "Uh…You asked me if I was listening, of course!"

"_Before that._"

Juandissimo's smile completely fell, "Uh…" He shrank back. "…Something about Valentine's Day…?"

By the look on Cupid's face, he could tell that that was far from the correct answer. Cupid looked over Juandissimo's shoulder, "So, which one were you staring at? Hm? The one in the middle? Oh, yeah, I can _see _why you like _her_! _Pink hair _and everything!" The God exclaimed in angry sarcasm. He looked back at his boyfriend, who was grinning nervously.

"Uh…Mi amor, I think you've a bit _too _much caramel. You know how it changes your mood."

"It _doesn't _make me irritable!" Cupid insisted, fingers clenching the tablecloth. "What makes me irritable is _you _checking out other girls when _we're _out together! Do you _ever _listen to _anything _I say?!"

Juandissimo's brow furrowed. His ears picked up another sweet sound and he turned, unbeknownst to Cupid, who was busy ranting. He smiled when he saw who it was. "Ah," He held up an index finger, not even looking at Cupid as he spoke, "Hold that thought, amor." The Spanish fairy jumped out of chair and he zipped off down the street.

Cupid watched with wide eyes, which then narrowed dangerously.

Juandissimo approached his new 'target' and took hold of her hands, "Wanda," He said to the pink-haired fairy, who looked slightly alarmed to see him. "You are as beautiful as your husband is wimpy."

Cosmo scowled. "Hey, buddy! Back off of my wife!" He floated between them, protecting his wife from further flirting.

"Cosmo, relax yourself." Juandissimo shrugged.

"What're _you _doing here?" Timmy asked, looking up at the Spanish fairy with one eyebrow raised.

The Spanish fairy gave another shrug of his shoulders, "Just getting some lunch. But then I spotted the _fabulous _Wanda and decided to come and say…" He trailed off as he pushed Cosmo aside and pulled Wanda toward him, holding her as though he was about to dance with her. The fairy flexed his muscles, his shirt ripping off as he did, and he completed his sentence, "…_hola._"

Cosmo set his wand between his teeth and bit down, pulling each side of the wand down. Instead of snapping the wand, his teeth shattered.

From afar, Cupid was gritting his teeth in anger. How could Juandissimo think that abandoning him like that was ok? And holding another girl like that! Cupid floated out of his chair and said to the nearest waiter, "_He's _paying."

As Juandissimo spoke to Wanda, his eyes caught the sight of Cupid over her shoulder. The God was floating above his chair, arms crossed. He was scowling in Juandissimo's direction, then he turned and floated away. Juandissimo's eyes widened, his mind going blank. "Uh…_Lo siento, _my Wanda, but…I have to go." With that abrupt ending, he zipped passed her, following Cupid down the street (pausing only to slap a few dollar bills onto their table at the café). "Cupid!" He called. "Cupid, my darling, where're you going?"

"Home, Juan. I'm going _home._" Cupid snapped darkly.

Juandissimo cringed at Cupid's tone. Oh, no…

…

Once they reached Cupid's mansion, Juandissimo tilted his head, trying to see Cupid's face. The God hadn't spoken a word since they began their journey home. "Uh…Cupid? Are you alright, my sweet?"

Cupid put a hand to the handle of one of the doors to his home. He froze, his back to Juandissimo. After a few moments of silence, Cupid sighed and turned to him. "Juan, what am I to you?"

Juandissimo was taken aback by the question. Why would Cupid ask such a thing? "W-What? You are my hermoso darling, of course! Why would you ask such a thing so suddenly?"

Cupid crossed his arms, "Then what is _she _to you?"

"Eh…who?"

"You _know _who I'm talking about." His eyes darkened. "_Wanda._"

"She is…my ex-girlfriend."

"Oh, really?" Cupid asked. "Cause it _really _seems like you've gotten over _her!_"

Juandissimo shrank back slightly. "I, uh, don't know what you're talking about, my darling."

"Well, I'll tell you I'm talking about!" Cupid suddenly snapped. He put a hand, horizontally, to his temple. "I have had it up to _here _with you! Every time I want a nice, simple, _normal _date, you go running off to Wanda or some other girl that just so happens to 'catch your eye'. And don't pretend you don't realize you're doing it!"

Juandissimo floated closer. "Cupid, please, calm down."

"Calm down? Calm down?! I don't _wanna calm down!" _

"Cupid!" Juandissimo exclaimed to get his attention. "I…I cannot help it. I have been flirting with señoritas for years. I cannot just stop now. You of all people should understand that! Being the God of Love and everything…"

"Oh, so now you're saying you _love _these girls?"

"No!" Juandissimo yelled quickly, realizing what he'd said. "Cupid, of course not!"

"Really? Cause you seem perfectly happy to run off and flirt with these girls! Did you ever once consider _my feelings?_ You might as well be cheating on me, Juan, and I've _been _cheated on before!"

"What?" Juandissimo asked, beginning to frown. "By who?"

"Don't change the subject! It's none of your business!"

"Cupid…I didn't mean to hurt -"

"No, but you _did_, Juan! And _that's _my point here!" Cupid sighed and rubbed his temples with both hands to try and calm himself. "Look, that's it. I'm done."

"Done…? What do you mean 'done'?"

"I'm sick and tired of being second place all the time. Or - counting all the other girls - _last place. _So now you have to choose: it's either me or her."

"What?!" Juandissimo exclaimed, hands gripping his hair dramatically. "You are making me _choose?! _You wouldn't do that!"

"I would, can and am." Cupid said, hands on his hips. "You can't have both, Juan, so pick. Me or her?"

Juandissimo felt his breath escape him. Cupid or Wanda? Wanda or Cupid? How could he pick between his two greatest lovers? "I…uh…I…she…she and I…we…"

Cupid's eyes widened ever so slightly. No mention of 'you' or 'you and I'. Only 'she' and 'she and I'. Cupid's fists tightened, his eyes shutting, and he breathed in deeply through his nose. "…Fine."

Juandissimo paused and looked at him, hearing the slight wobble in his voice. Cupid opened his eyes and Juandissimo saw that they were ever so slightly…wet. _No…No, please, don't…_ "If that's the way you want it. Fine. You pick her. Fine then…I guess we're through." Cupid opened the door and began to float inside.

"Cupid…" Juandissimo attempted.

Cupid sighed and looked back at him, "Congratulations, Juan. You dated a guy and you found out you didn't like it. Good for you. Now, go back and be the ladies' man you've always been and…don't use me for an experiment ever again. In fact…how 'bout you just leave me alone…" With that, Cupid disappeared into his mansion.

"But you're not an -" Juandissimo tried, but the slamming of Cupid's front door cut him off. "- experiment…" The Spanish fairy felt his heart snap to pieces as he stared at the doors of Cupid's home.

Cupid's eyes had actually…gotten watery. Had he really made Cupid…cry? No, he…he couldn't have…maybe…he had. Cupid had actually had tears in his eyes and he _knew _that, this time, the God's foul mood certainly wasn't the caramel's fault.

It was all his.

…

After hours of moping around his house and shedding a few tears, Juandissimo finally decided what to do. With a wave of his wand, Juandissimo poofed from his own, single bed (where he had been laying for most of the day) and into Cupid's bedroom. Everything looked normal. Juandissimo resisted the urge to check if his clothes were still in the closet. Under the covers, head on the pillow, was Cupid. He was curled up into a ball, wrapped up in his pink blanket. Juandissimo's brow creased. Even from this angle, Cupid looked…pathetic. Juandissimo held up his wand and his clothes poofed away, replaced by his sleeveless shirt and boxer shorts. Just as he was about to move, his eyes caught the sight of a cardboard box beside the closet. His jaw dropped slightly when he saw that _Juandissimo _had been written on the side of it in black marker. Inside were several, very familiar, items. Juandissimo cringed and looked over at Cupid again. He floated over to the bed, keeping his eyes on Cupid as he did. His wand made a gentle _tap _as he laid it on the bedside table. The Spanish fairy lifted the cover and climbed into bed.

Cupid felt a weight on the other side of the mattress and a pair of muscular arms wrap around his waist. "Cupid," Juandissimo whispered, "I know you're awake…"

Cupid shut his eyes tightly. "…Go away…"

"Cupid, please." Juandissimo sighed through his nose. "Look, I thought about what you said, my sweet, and -"

"Don't call me that. I'm not anything to you." Cupid muttered, cutting him off.

"But you _are." _Juandissimo sighed. "I haven't been fair to you. I know that. But I've _tried _to break my habits, Cupid." He looked away. "And…I haven't been trying hard enough. I should be trying harder. I promised you, after all." Juandissimo sighed. "Mi amor…lo siento." He shook his head. "I mean, I'm sorry…Sometimes I cannot help but long for the one I cannot have…But, right now, all I long for is you. Please, my sweet angel, please take me back…I love you."

Cupid stiffened in Juandissimo's arms, "If you really loved me, you'd stop."

"I know. I'm still trying to get the hang of it, mi amor. And I promise I'll try harder if you'll just take me back. Please, amor. My love for you burns like the flames of Señor Hephaestus."

Cupid paused. His father's fire was probably the hottest fire ever. You know, God of Fire and all that. "I hate being second place."

"I know."

"And I don't like hearing about Wanda."

"I know."

"My mom knows about this, by the way."

"I kno - Wait, what?"

Cupid looked over his shoulder at Juandissimo. "Yeah, sorry. But when I dump/am dumped, I go to Mom. She usually sends Anteros down here to come and try and cheer me up, but he hasn't arrived. I dunno. He's probably with Apollo."

Juandissimo tilted his head. "Does, uh, does this mean you're taking me back?"

Cupid stared at him for a few seconds. "…Don't let it happen again."

"Right."

"I mean it."

"Of course."

"Otherwise, I _will _get my mom on you."

"Right." Juandissimo couldn't help but grin. "By the way, you were never an experiment. Why would I experiment when I don't need to?"

Cupid rolled on his back and crossed his arms. Juandissimo propped himself up on one elbow, grinning down at his lover. "Oh, really?"

"Si. I already know that, while I like señoritas, I prefer you."

Cupid let a small smile grace his lips. "Really?"

"Yes." He leaned down and pressed his lips to Cupid's. Cupid tangled his fingers in Juandissimo's hair, pulling him closer (if that were possible). As the kiss - a mixture of chocolate and mint - became more passionate, desire fuelling each pair of lips, Juandissimo gently pried open Cupid's lips with his tongue, then let it explore the God's mouth. Aphrodite would kill him if she saw this. Bloody good thing Anteros wasn't going to pop up anytime soon. Cupid let out a soft noise from the back of his throat as Juandissimo slid a hand down to rest on the God's hip. They didn't know how long they kissed for but, when they pulled back, they were both breathing heavier then usual. Juandissimo grinned. "Now, when was the last time you were kissed like _that? _I don't suppose these 'cheaters' you dated ever kissed you so well?"

Cupid sighed contently through his nose, "Nope." He smiled at Juandissimo and put up an index finger. "Juan, there is _one thing _you could do to _really _make it up to me."

"And what is that, my angel?"

"Tell me…"

"Si?"

"…that my hair is better then Wanda's."

"Of c - Eh…What?" Juandissimo stared down at him confusedly.

"Tell me my hair is better and I'll forgive you."

Juandissimo sighed softly. Again with the hair. Honestly, it was like Cupid had some one-sided rivalry with Wanda about hair. Juandissimo looked down at Cupid and said (and he wasn't entirely sure if he truly meant this), "Your hair is better then Wanda's."

Cupid grinned. "Yay!" He exclaimed and leapt at Juandissimo, hugging him with such a force that it accidentally made them roll right off the bed.

They landed with a _thud _on the floor, Cupid on top of the fairy. "Ow…" Juandissimo muttered. "Are you alright, Cupido?"

"Oh, yeah. You broke my fall."

"Great…"

That night (once they finally made it back into bed), Cupid slept contently in Juandissimo's arms. Juandissimo stayed awake a little bit longer, stroking Cupid's hair and simply watching his lover. He would probably kick himself if he ever made Cupid feel that way again. He'd rather face _Aphrodite's wrath _then make the God of Love _feel that way again! _As he finally drifted off to sleep, Juandissimo smiled and hugged Cupid closer.

Here in Cupid's bed, the God fast asleep in his arms, was enough for Juandissimo to be happy.

…

**Author's note:**

**Damn it, Juan. In the last one-shot, you were saying you wouldn't break Cupid's heart. And then you **_**break it. **_**The hell's wrong with you?**

**Juan: What is wrong with **_**you? You're **_**the one writing this.**

**I know, right? I'm sick in the head, leave me alone.**

**Anyone else notice that the last few one-shots have made out 'Drink first Valentine heart'?…That was completely unintentional, I assure you. I'm not **_**that **_**sick in the head.**

***Ahem* As promised, I shall tell you my FOP pairings. Here goes:**

**What I like: CupidxJuandissimo (well, duh. I ain't doing a 100 theme challenge about them for nothing), CosmoxWanda, Anti-CosmoxAnti-Wanda, JuandissimoxWanda (ONLY if it's set in the past, before Cosmo), CupidxCosmo (yeah…I got myself into it…Sorry, Juan), Anti-CupidxAnti-Juandissimo (any versions of them are fine), Anti-CosmoxWanda (a part of me still ships them), TimmyxTrixie and (if they count as FOP) HephaestusxAphrodite (gotta love Heph getting all flustered when he tries to show his wife some love). I think I'm also starting to like RemyxTimmy, which is why Cupid mentioned it in the last one-shot.**

**What I **_**don't **_**like (sorry if I offend anyone): JuandissimoxBlonda (God, no. It's not just because I ship CupidxJuan, it's just…this has never appealed to me), CupidxBlonda (…*eye twitches*…where did **_**this **_**even come from…?), JuandissimoxWanda (if it's set in the present…*Pushes Juan toward Cupid and Wanda toward Cosmo*), Anti-CosmoxCosmo, CosmoxTimmy, CosmoxAnti-Wanda (I don't know why I dislike this and not Anti-CosmoxWanda…), Anti-CosmoxNega-Timmy, TimmyxGary (I just…don't understand it…), TimmyxNega-Timmy, (again, if these guys count) AresxAphrodite (in mythology or FOP…despise this pairing…*Sobs* Hephaestus!) and most OC pairings (*cough* especially with Juan and Cupid *cough*).**

**Any other pairing, I don't mind so long as it's written/drawn well.**

***Ahem* Well…not much else to say… *Puts fingers in ears to block out fangirl squealing once they realize Juan told Cupid he loves him in this one-shot***


	25. Meeting

**Of Pink Hair and Spanish Flair**

**I don't own Fairly Odd Parents. Butch Hartman does.**

**I do, however, own these versions of Cupid's family members and the other Gods, except Zeus, Artemis, Dionysus and Poseidon.**

**WARNING!: This series is about CupidxJuandissimo. Don't like, don't read.**

**Relationship: Lovers.**

**Word: Meeting.**

…

"But I don't wanna go, Dad."

"Now, now, son," Hephaestus said, standing in front of a mirror, adjusting his grey toga. "Meetings with the Gods aren't that bad."

"Are you kidding?" Cupid asked, floating next to his father. "It's always a disaster! Anteros always goes off with Apollo and Hermes, the Goddesses practically _smother _me with questions about Juan and _you _always pick a _fight _with Ares!"

Hephaestus frowned, "I wouldn't pick a fight if he wouldn't flirt with _my _wife." He looked down at his pink-haired son. "Now, get your toga on. We're leaving soon."

Cupid groaned. If there was one piece of fashion he absolutely despised, it was togas. Ugh. He looked up at his father, faking sheepishness. "Sorry, Dad. Forgot it at home."

"But you didn't forget your magic wand. Poof your toga here." Hephaestus said.

Cupid rolled his eyes but did as he was told. His pink suit and diaper were replaced by his white toga and the God crossed his arms grumpily. Hephaestus took his wand from him. "Dad!"

"You know you're not allowed this at meetings." Hephaestus placed in on the top shelf of the nearby bookshelf, the same place he'd put Anteros's wand. Cupid's frown deepened. Hephaestus looked back at him, "Oh, don't look at me like that. You know you have to attend this meeting."

"But _why?_" Cupid asked. "I'm never involved in any conversation, anyway."

"Perhaps if you tried, you would get into delightful conversations. Try your cousins."

"I hate my cousins."

Hephaestus sighed. "Well, that's too bad. Guess I can't give you your present…"

Cupid's frown dropped. "What present?"

"Oh, nothing."

"Wait, tell me."

Hephaestus scratched the back of his ear. "Oh, nothing. It's nothing, really. Just…something I've been working on for a few weeks. A little present for you."

Cupid floated closer, smiling enthusiastically, "Where is it?"

"Oh, I can't tell you that. I've hidden it."

"Where? In your workshop? Is it in your workshop?"

"Oh, no. Can't tell you."

Cupid's smile dropped, "Well…can you at least tell me what it is?"

"Something you've always wanted. Something you've been begging me for."

Cupid's face lit up like a Christmas tree, "A way for Anteros to never exist?"

Hephaestus looked at him, alarmed and confused, "What? No."

"Oh…"

Hephaestus checked himself in the mirror one more time before looking back at Cupid, "Tell ya what, son. You behave at this meeting - get involved, talk to people, don't just sit there in a funk - and you can _have _said present."

Cupid clasped his hands together, "Really?"

"Well, I was saving it for a rainy day but…sure."

Cupid threw his arms up in the air, "Yay!" His father's presents were always the best! You know, God of Craftsmanship and everything.

"However, if you don't behave, the present goes to Anteros."

Cupid opened his eyes, his arms and grin dropping. "Wait, what?"

"You heard."

"Goes to _Anteros?!_" Cupid exclaimed. "B-But _why?!_"

"It's something he'd like as well."

Cupid frowned. Hephaestus raised an eyebrow, "Do we have a deal, son?"

Cupid crossed his arms, "Yes…"

"Good lad." Hephaestus gently patted his head. Just then, his wife and oldest son entered the room, his spouse fixing her toga.

"It's been awhile since I've worn this." Aphrodite said thoughtfully as she looked down at the pink toga. She looked to Cupid and cooed, "Aw, see how handsome you look."

Cupid huffed and looked away. Hephaestus stood a little straighter. "How, uh, how do I look?"

Aphrodite smiled and wandered over to him. Immediately, Hephaestus's eyes widened and he slouched; hands clasped together (as he did when he got nervous). "As handsome as you always are." She gave his cheek a delicate kiss.

"Ah, well…Not as beautiful as you. I mean, ya know, obviously, because you're the Goddess of Beauty." Hephaestus stuttered. "Wait! I mean, that's not the _only _reason you're good-looking. I mean, you're also beautiful because, ya know, you're you. And I'm not saying that just _because _you're the Goddess of Beauty but because…uh…I…I don't know what I'm saying…"

Aphrodite giggled. "Of course you don't."

Anteros flew up to Hephaestus, clutching a pile of paper in his hands, "I, for one, am excited about this meeting." He looked down at the papers in his hands, "I've got some new lyrics I wanna show to Apollo. I…haven't exactly put music to 'em yet…I wanna get his approval first."

Hephaestus nodded. "Right then. Let's get going."

Cupid huffed and followed his family out. Aphrodite gently smoothed his hair, "Don't worry, sweetie. It'll be over before you know it."

…

Mount Olympus was as shiny and clean as they remembered. Timmy Turner had once accidentally destroyed it by hurling a lightning bolt, but Cupid's father had soon gotten to work. Mount Olympus never looked better.

Cupid's frown deepened as they approached it. Gods of all ages - nearly all of them the children of the Twelve Olympians - were zipping around, making conversation and showing off the abilities their parents gave them. Anteros grinned.

Just then, a flash of lightning lit up in front of them, almost blinding them. When it cleared, Zeus stood proudly. The King of the Gods was white-haired, muscular and as tall as Hephaestus, dressed in a black toga and sandals. He had blue eyes - just like Hephaestus, Anteros and Cupid. "Hephaestus!"

Hephaestus nodded and bowed, "Father."

Zeus stared confusedly, then laughed, "What are ya doing?!" He wrapped a strong arm around Hephaestus's neck and brought him close, then noogied him. "You're my _kid! _You don't, like, _bow _to me or anything!" He finally released his son's neck. Hephaestus blinked, his glasses hanging off one ear and his hair looking as though he had extreme bed head. Zeus turned to his daughter-in-law, "Glad to see ya still such a beauty, Aphrodite."

Aphrodite grinned at him. Zeus turned to his grandchildren, "And kids! You're looking great!"

Anteros smiled widely. "Thanks, Grandpa Zeus."

Cupid frowned. "Thanks Grandpa Zeus…" The God of Love looked up at Hephaestus, who was staring at him. "Uh, I mean…" He forced a grin onto his face. "_Thanks_, Grandpa Zeus!"

Zeus grinned. He turned back to his son, who was fixing his glasses. "Son! Pull my finger!" He held out an index finger.

Hephaestus stared at him, creating an uncomfortable silence, then said, "Father…I know how this joke ends…"

"I don't!" Anteros exclaimed, flying up to Zeus's hand and grabbing his finger, pulling it. Immediately, lightning bolted through his system. The electrocuted God blinked, his skin grey and his hair burnt. He fell to the floor like a freshly-swatted fly, smoke billowing out of him.

Cupid stared him, "Well, you walked right into that one…"

Zeus glanced behind them and exclaimed, "Poseidon! Good to see ya!" He jogged over to his brother.

Hephaestus watched him go, then looked up at his hair. "Every time…Every time…"

"Hephaestus!"

Hephaestus turned to see who had called him and his features immediately softened, "Mother."

Hera - Queen of the Gods and Goddess of Marriage, Women and Birth - quickly approached her son and hugged him tightly. She was shorter then him, only reaching his nose. Her brown hair - which Hephaestus had obviously inherited - was tied up in a neat bun, a peacock feather sticking out of it, and her eyes were a bright, violet colour. Her toga looked regal with its gold colour. A peacock followed the Goddess, approaching her grandchildren and gently nipping at Anteros's ankles. Hephaestus hugged her back. Hera pulled back and laid her hands on her son's shoulders. "…What have you done to your hair?"

Hephaestus's brow creased, "…Father noogied me again."

Hera clicked her tongue, "He needs to stop doing that…" She gently soothed her son's hair. Hera turned to Aphrodite and smiled, "Aphrodite, you're looking wonderful."

Aphrodite smiled, "Thank you, Lady Hera." The two women hugged, then Hera turned to her grandsons.

"Don't you both look adorable?" She asked, hands clasping together. She looked at her peacock, then frowned and waved it away from Anteros.

"Hera, come and see Poseidon! Get it? _See?! _Like _sea?! _Ha!"

Hera glanced at her husband, "I get it, Zeus." She looked at Hephaestus. "Have to go. Wonderful to see you four again."

Hephaestus smiled as his mother went to greet his uncle. Just as the happiness set in, it was cut off by a -

"H-man!"

Hephaestus's smile fell and his eyes widened. "Oh, no…" As soon as he finished talking, another arm was around his neck and another fist was rubbed against his head in yet another noogie. When he was finally released, Hephaestus fixed his glasses and muttered, "Always a pleasure, Apollo."

Apollo - God of the Sun and Light, Truth and Prophecy, Plague, Healing, Poetry, Music and more - grinned. He was a well-built man of average strength and height. On top of his rounded head was short, slightly spiked auburn hair and a goatee was settled on his chin. His hair was tied back in a tiny, thin ponytail. He had dark violet eyes that were somehow so full of happiness. He was wrapped up in a yellow toga, pale yellow wings sticking out of his back. "You alright there, 'Phaestus? Been mighty boring 'round 'ere without you, mate!"

Hephaestus looked at him, "Yes. Quite." His eyes caught something over Apollo's shoulder and they narrowed. "Is…that a dent in Mother's throne?"

Apollo looked over his shoulder at the thrones of the Twelve Olympians. "Hm? Oh, yeah, man."

"Why was I not informed?" Hephaestus didn't sound angry, just distracted.

"Well, we _were _gonna tell ya, mate. But we figured you'd wanna be left alone, ya know? That, an' the meetin' was comin' up, so we thought we'd wait 'till then." He looked back to Hephaestus. "Ya get what I'm sayin', yeah, Heph?…Heph?" He opened his eyes, only to see that Hephaestus had disappeared. "Heph?" Aphrodite giggled and pointed over his shoulder and Apollo turned.

Hephaestus sprinted over to the throne at a speed they thought only Hermes could go to and dived onto it, immediately bringing a hammer out of his toga and whacking the throne with it; trying to sort out the dent in it. Apollo stared, then burst into laughter.

"Nice to know my son hasn't changed." Hera said as she watched, approaching them again.

"Oh, yeah." Apollo said. "Mighty fine." The God turned to Aphrodite. "'Dite, you're a right beauty. I'd noogie ya, but I think you'd break m' neck if I did."

Aphrodite crossed her arms, "No one messes with my hair, Apollo."

"Well, nah, course they don't. That's cause it's lookin' fabulous today." He held his arms out and Aphrodite laughed as she hugged him.

Anteros lit up like a Christmas tree, like his brother had done before, and he shot up into the air; arms up. "Apollo!"

Apollo looked at him, "Lil' 'Ros!" He exclaimed, arms out. He quickly collected Anteros under one arm and noogied him. Once he released him, Anteros's eyes crossed and he dizzily walked in a circle. "Oh, sorry, man. Forgot how small ya are."

Anteros shook his head and smoothed his hair. "Apollo! I've got some lyrics to show ya!"

"Well, that's mighty fine, Lil' 'Ros." He looked at Cupid. "You alright there, Littler 'Ros? Ya lookin' swell."

Cupid looked at him. "Hi, Apollo…"

Aphrodite shrugged, "He's just a little grumpy that he had to come to this meeting."

"Ah." Apollo nodded. "Would rather stay at home with ya boy, huh? Yeah, I know how it is. Listen, man, I'm dyin' in this toga thing. I'd rather be in m' normal clothes. But, that's life." He shrugged. He turned to Anteros. "C'mon, Lil' 'Ros. See if I can put these lyrics of yours to music."

Anteros grinned then turned to Aphrodite. "Uh, Mom, can I go?"

Aphrodite glanced at Hephaestus, then looked at Anteros. "Go ahead. Be back before the official meeting."

Anteros cheered then zipped off. Apollo jogged after him, laughing. Cupid gestured to them, "See? Always goes off with Apollo."

Hera knelt down to him, "Oh, cheer up, Cupid. Why don't you go and talk to your cousins?"

"I hate my cousins."

Hera's smile dropped. "Oh…Well, here comes your daddy. Why don't you hang out with him?"

Hephaestus wandered over. "Mother, I fixed your throne." He wriggled his fingers. "And I added a nice, flowery pattern on the back."

Hera smiled. "Thank you, Hephaestus."

Hephaestus smiled proudly. Cupid floated over to him and held up his arms, "Daddy."

Hephaestus looked down at his child. "Son?"

"He wants to spend time with you, Hephaestus." Hera said. "Isn't that sweet?"

Hephaestus glanced at her, then looked at Cupid, who was still holding up his arms. "Quite." He scooped Cupid up in one hand and held him close. "We'll just go…spend time with each other…" He walked away, looking over his shoulder. When he was sure they wouldn't hear him, he muttered, "Now, don't think you're gonna get that present by acting all cutesy around your relatives. I said you had to behave and get into conversations with people."

Cupid crossed his arms. "What? I just wanna spend time with my Dad." He smiled at him, grabbing fistfuls of his father's toga. Hephaestus's eyes became half-lidded. Cupid's smile dropped, "At least tell me what it is."

"I told you."

"No, you didn't."

"Well, I hinted it." Hephaestus looked around. "Where's your brother?"

"Went off with Apollo."

Hephaestus sighed through his nose. "It's a sad day when a man realizes that his son would rather spend time with a kooky musician then his own father…" Hephaestus shrugged. "Why don't you spend time with your aunts? My sisters are pleasant."

"Aw, no way. They pinch my cheeks way too hard." Cupid replied, rubbing his cheek as if to prove his point. "Uh…Dad…"

The God looked at his son, "Hm?" Cupid pointed. Hephaestus looked over and his eyes immediately lit up in flames. "_Ares…_" The God of Craftsmanship growled, beginning to walk over to his brother.

"Try not to start anything, Dad." Cupid muttered.

"I won't if he won't."

Cupid gulped. Hephaestus was one of the more gentler and kind Gods, but that didn't mean he couldn't get angry - and when Hephaestus got angry was when something got _burned. _The God placed Cupid on his shoulder.

Ares - God of War - was a muscular, well-built man, his muscles having been put through hard work and training. He was slightly shorter then his brother, with a head of brown hair cut short. Unlike Hephaestus, Ares's eyes were chocolate brown and hidden behind dark sunglasses. He had a few scars on his biceps from fights and his body was wrapped up in a red toga. He had a pair of wings sticking out of his back, the feathers slightly red. As Hephaestus approached his brother, he heard some of his dialogue, "Aphrodite," Ares said to his sister-in-law, "Ya lookin' gorgeous today - as you do everyday."

"What about me?" Hephaestus snapped, crossing his arms and glaring at the back of his brother's head. "How am _I _looking?"

Ares jumped slightly, then he turned and immediately scowled, "Like my freak of a little brother."

Both men scowled at each other and Aphrodite glanced worriedly at the both of them. Hera frowned disapprovingly, a hand on each of her sons' chests. "Now, boys, this is _one meeting _you two are _not _going to fight at. Now, shake hands."

There was a silence, both men daring the other to offer a hand. Hera huffed and grabbed their hands, putting them together. Ares wrapped his fingers around Hephaestus's hand, squeezing tightly. He smirked when he saw Hephaestus begin to grimace in pain, then paused when his hand began to warm up. His palm began to sting and he threw Hephaestus's hand down. "He tried to burn me!"

"You tried to break my hand," Hephaestus said, "so we're even."

Hera huffed again, "_Boys_, come on. You don't want to be bad influences, do you?" She gestured to Cupid.

Ares looked to Hephaestus's shoulder, "Oh, hey, Eros. Didn't see ya there."

Cupid shuddered at hearing his Greek name, "It's _Cupid._"

"Oh, right. You go by your Roman name, don't you?" He chuckled and ruffled Cupid's hair. "Looks like you're the odd one out here."

Hephaestus suddenly put a hand in front of Cupid, shielding him from Ares's sight. He frowned at his brother, who rolled his eyes. "What? Now I can't even talk to my own nephew?"

Cupid peeked out his father's fingers, "Uh…Hey, Uncle Ares…"

Ares nodded to him. He glanced over Hephaestus's shoulder and grinned, "Dionysus! Good to see ya!" The God of War bumped his brother's shoulder as he passed him.

As Aphrodite approached her spouse, he muttered, "I can see why you dumped him."

From afar, Apollo watched with Anteros, who sat on his shoulder. Anteros slapped a palm to his forehead. "Dad…"

"Eh, ya can't blame the bloke." Apollo shrugged. "Ares does kinda…push it sometimes." He looked at Anteros. "Now, what was that you were telling me?"

"Oh, right." Anteros held out his hands. "There's this new thing in the Human World. It's called…Gangnam Style. Real popular with the humans, man. Internet sensation."

"Well, that's mighty fine, Lil' 'Ros. But I don't usually dabble into human music. Not somethin' I do often, but I'll 'ave a look-see."

"_I'm he~ere!" _Someone sang out and Apollo's head shot up.

The God spun around and immediately held out his arms, "_HERMES!"_

"_APOLLO!" _Hermes - now dressed in a silver toga - yelled back, equally as happy, and zoomed toward Apollo. Anteros quickly flew from the God's shoulder and Hermes crashed into Apollo, the men hugging each other tightly and grinning.

The other Gods watched. "When was the last time they saw each other?" Aphrodite asked.

Ares checked his watch, "'bout…two hours ago…"

"Alright, Twelve Olympians!" Zeus suddenly called out. "To the meeting! Someone get Poseidon."

"I got it." Ares said and used his shoulder to push Poseidon's giant fish bowl over to the large, rectangular table, where the Olympians' thrones were sat.

Hephaestus placed Cupid down on the floor and knelt down to him. Cupid stared up at him and Hephaestus smoothed his hair. "Don't worry, son." He said gently. "This meeting will be over quicker then you can say 'Ares, stay away from my mother'." Cupid smiled. "Now, go and sit with your brother."

Cupid groaned slightly, but did as he was told. All around the room were sections marked with names and several little chairs. Cupid walked over to the section marked 'HEPHAESTUS + APHRODITE' and sat down in his seat beside Anteros.

The Twelve Olympians all sat down in their thrones (all built by Hephaestus himself). Cupid crossed his arms. He truly didn't understand why he had to attend these silly meetings. This was all they were: chances for the Gods to meet up. The Twelve Olympians would chat about things that had nothing to do with him, then the Gods would bond some more and that would be it. Meeting over. Cupid scoffed, "If I was allowed to bring my cell phone, I'd be talking to Juan right now…"

Anteros shrugged, "Ask Hermes to send him a message."

"No." Cupid said. "I want to actually _talk to him._"

"Oh…Well, if you find a way to talk to him, say hi for me."

Cupid huffed, "If non-Gods were allowed to come along, I would've brought Juan with me. At least, then I'd have something to do."

"Oh, yeah." Anteros crossed his arms. "Making out in the corner with your boyfriend while our mom is only steps away is a real good plan. Nice one, baby bro."

"Who said that was my idea?" Cupid asked. "I mean I'd have someone to _talk to._"

"You have me."

Cupid stared at him with half-lidded eyes, "…Again, I'd have someone to _talk to._"

Anteros frowned. "Yeah, well, I wish you brought Alejandro too. He's cool. Definitely the best yet."

Cupid huffed again and rested his head in his hand. Juandissimo was probably just lounging around Cupid's mansion right now. The God didn't think he had work today, so he wasn't sure whether his lover would be at the spa or not. Cupid glanced at his brother, who was rereading the lyrics he was showing to Apollo; a pencil sticking out of his mouth. "I don't know why you like these meetings."

Anteros glanced at him and let the pencil fall from his lips as he spoke, "Eh. I get to the spend the day with Apollo and Hermes."

"You do that anyway."

"Yeah, but usually I've got Mom and Dad chewing my ear off about how I 'gotta be home by ten' or whatever. Here, I can spend time with 'em and have no curfew!"

Cupid sighed and slouched in his chair. This was going to be a long day…

Oh, he was _so _gonna get a massage from Juandissimo later.

…

When the meeting of the Twelve Olympians finally ended, Cupid had the intention of floating over to his mother. If there was one person he could count on to spend time with him, it was Aphrodite. He had the _intention _of floating over to her, but only got halfway because someone grabbed him by the back of his toga and pulled him away. "Mom!" He called. "I'm being kidnapped!"

Aphrodite looked over, then rolled her eyes and followed. Cupid was suddenly being held up by the hem of his toga, in front of someone's face. "Cupid!" They exclaimed happily.

Cupid looked at them with half-lidded eyes, "Hi, Artemis."

Aphrodite walked over, taking her son from Artemis: the Goddess of the Hunt, Wild Animals, Wilderness, Moon, Forests and Hills, Childbirth and Virginity, who sat on her Pegasus. "Don't grab him like that." She scolded, then held Cupid close. "My baby…"

"_Mom._" Cupid muttered, clearly embarrassed.

"Oh, c'mon, Cupid!" Athena - Goddess of Wisdom, Courage, Warfare, Inspiration, Civilization, Mathematics, Strength, Strategy, the Arts, Crafts, Skill and Law and Justice - exclaimed, wrapped up in an orange toga. Her long, brown hair was tied back in a braid, pinned with little flowers. A pair of brightly-feathered wings poked out of her back. "We wanna know more about you-know-who."

"Voldemort?" Cupid asked sarcastically.

Athena rolled her green eyes, "No, silly. We mean -" She suddenly stopped, her eyes widening, and spoke quickly, in the tone a computer would use, "Voldemort: born Tom Marvolo Riddle, the main villain of the very popular Harry Potter series, written by British author, J. K. Rowling."

"Yeah, we know, Athena." Artemis said, crossing her arms.

"Sorry!" Athena exclaimed. "It just comes right out of me! _Hello_, Goddess of Wisdom here!" She pointed at herself.

"Yeah, well, anyway." Artemis said then looked at Cupid with a smile. "Come on, tell us more!"

Aphrodite frowned and sat down on one of the chairs in the circle the Goddesses had made, placing Cupid in her lap. "Pfft." Cupid held up a hand. "I don't _kiss _and _tell._"

"Ooh!" All the Goddesses (except Aphrodite) squealed and Cupid smirked.

Aphrodite looked at her son disapprovingly, "Don't encourage them." She paused. "Wait. _Kiss?_" She crossed her arms and frowned at him.

"Oh, come on, Aphrodite." Athena scolded. "Of _course _they've kissed by now!"

"And then some." Artemis muttered, making the girls giggle. Aphrodite's frown deepened. Cupid's smirk dropped and he blushed bright red.

"No…" Cupid lied awkwardly. He dug a hand into his toga and brought out a piece of paper, "But he did write me this cute love letter!"

Artemis gasped dramatically. "Let me see! Let me see!" She took the paper from the God of Love. The Goddesses swarmed around her, all reading it. Artemis gasped, "That is, like, _so romantic!"_

Aphrodite snatched the letter from her and read through it. "Hm. 'Catch his eye'. Right. Like all the _other girls _he's looked at."

"Mom." Cupid said, jumping up and taking the letter from her.

"Oh, don't be so uptight, Aphrodite." Artemis said, with a wave of her hand.

Athena froze, then explained, "Uptight: adjective. Meaning: tense as a result of anger, fear, or annoyance in a way that is difficult to control. Also means unable or unwilling to show emotion."

"Yes, thanks, Athena." Aphrodite snapped. She crossed her arms over her chest. "I just don't like hearing about my little baby dating a guy who thinks it's _ok _to flirt with people who aren't Cupid. Besides, Cupid broke up with him the other day."

The Goddesses all gasped dramatically. "Cupid?!" Athena exclaimed, "How could you - Broke up: a phrase meaning -"

"We know what it means, Athena!" Artemis exclaimed. She zipped down to Cupid. "Cupid, how could you?! You guys are, like, _so _meant to be together! Come on, tell Auntie Artemis all about it."

Cupid made a calming gesture with his hands, "Relax, we're back together. It's just -"

"He flirted with his ex while they were out together and, when told to choose between them, he chose his ex and made _my baby boy cry._"

Cupid crossed his arms. "I did not cry."

"You did. The cherubs told me. And you were sniffling when you called me."

Cupid frowned, "But he _did _come and apologize to me." There was a pause and Cupid clasped his hands together and grinned, "And he told me he _loves me!"_

The Goddesses (except Aphrodite) all squealed loudly in unison and Cupid put his hands to his hips, sticking his chest out and smiling proudly.

A little while away, Hermes, Anteros and Artemis's twin brother watched. "Why does _he _get all the girls?" Anteros asked, gesturing to his brother.

"Eh. Ya know what they say, Lil' 'Ros: the guys who ain't interested in girls…get 'em." Apollo replied, sitting in a wooden chair.

"Baby bro's interested in girls."

"Yeah. But put the amount of _girlfriends _'e's 'ad with the amount of _boyfriends _'e's 'ad."

Anteros paused and thought about it, then his eyes widened. "Oh, my gosh. I never noticed that before!"

"I know, right? I think 'e's tryin' t' tell us somethin'."

"Hey…" Hermes said. "Don't _you _date guys too?"

Apollo glanced at him, "What I do ain't any o' ya business, Wings."

"Oh…sorry…"

"S'all right, mate." He looked to Anteros. "Besides, ya know most of them girls are our relatives, right?"

"Oh, yeah. But it'd be nice to get some attention…" Anteros said.

Hermes shrugged, "I dunno. I mean, I wouldn't wanna be swamped with questions about my new lover. Not that I have one. Besides, I've already met Cupid's new boyfriend!"

Apparently, he'd said that too loudly because some of the Goddesses looked at him. Artemis flew over on her Pegasus and grabbed Hermes by the front of his toga. "What?! How did you meet him, Hermes?! Tell us everything! What was he like?!"

"Well…" Hermes looked away, pouting cutely and fiddling with his fingers. "I don't really have opinions on people…"

"Except Apollo."

"Well…he's my best friend…"

"Are you kidding?!" Artemis exclaimed. "You guys are practically dating!"

Hermes tilted his head confusedly. Artemis rolled her eyes, "Oh, whatever. Come on!" She threw him onto her Pegasus and flew over to the Goddesses.

Apollo jumped up from his seat, thrusting an index finger high in the air, and shouted, _"Not my Hermes!" _The God ran after his twin sister.

Anteros flew after him, "But I've met Alejandro too!" He cried desperately.

From a distance, Hephaestus watched. He sat in the corner, fiddling with some scrap metal. The God of Craftsmanship raised an eyebrow. "How odd…" He muttered.

And then Ares wandered over.

…

"Give him back, Apollo! We were asking him questions!" Artemis exclaimed to her twin, who had Hermes flopped over his shoulder.

Apollo frowned at her over his shoulder. "You get the Pegasus, I get the Messenger!"

Hermes frowned. "I don't know whether to be flattered or not…"

"_Aphrodite is my wife!"_

Everyone paused and looked over. "Oh, no…" Apollo muttered.

"Mom, Dad's fighting with Uncle Ares again." Cupid said.

Aphrodite frowned. Hephaestus and Ares stood, their fists clenched in anger and their teeth gritted. They scowled in each other's faces. _"You stole her from me!"_

"_It's not my fault she dumped you! She probably wanted someone who picked brains over brawn!"_

"_At least I have a brain!"_

"_You have as much brains as the swords I make for you!"_

Ares growled angrily, then shouted, "_At least I have BOTH OF MY LEGS!"_

Hephaestus's jaw dropped and his eyes widened. Apollo's jaw did the same. "Ooh! That is a _kick below the belt _righ' there!"

Hephaestus scowled, black smoke swimming out of his nostrils, fire lighting up his eyes. His fists shook as he clenched them harder, then caught fire. "Alright. That's _it!" _He lunged at his brother, but was stopped when Apollo flew forward and caught him by the waist.

"Alright, Heph." Apollo said, trying to calm him. "Let's calm down, eh? C'mon, put out the flames." When he didn't, Apollo panicked, "Aw, man. Angry God of Fire…Uh…What do I do…?" Apollo muttered to himself. "Uh…Poseidon!"

Poseidon, who was still in his giant fish bowl, quickly lifted his arms up. A tidal wave grew out from his bowl and crashed into Hephaestus and Apollo. When the water flowed out, Hephaestus and Apollo were left standing and soaking wet. Hephaestus wheezed and black smoke trailed out of his mouth, his flames gone. A small river flowed out of Apollo's mouth and he coughed, "Thanks, mate…"

"Mars. Vulcan."

The brothers froze and looked over at their mother, who was frowning disapprovingly. She pointed at the floor in front of her and the brothers sighed in unison. Hephaestus and Ares walked over to Hera, who began to belittle them.

Anteros and Cupid both slapped palms to their foreheads, "Dad…"

Artemis looked to Aphrodite, "Must be kind of nice having two men fight over you."

"Actually," Aphrodite replied, "It's kind of annoying."

"Why _did _you pick Hephaestus?" Artemis asked. "I mean, Ares is buff and powerful."

Aphrodite frowned, "Hephaestus is more of a gentleman then Ares could ever hope to be. That's why."

"That," Athena said, shooting an almost taunting smile at Aphrodite, "and he makes nice stuff."

Aphrodite scowled at her. After all, before he began having affection for Aphrodite, Hephaestus had fancied Athena quite a bit. He would nervously offer her metal flowers that he had crafted and she would accept them, but only to be kind. She'd never felt the same way, but his gifts were nice so she'd taken them. That was probably greedy of her, but oh, well.

"Wait." Anteros said. "How do you know?"

"Dad used to like Athena." Cupid said.

Anteros did a double take. "Huh? What?" Then he paused and looked over his mother's shoulder. "Mom…Dad's in the time-out chair again…"

Aphrodite looked at the little wooden chair in the corner, where Hephaestus now sat. She rolled her eyes and stood up, placing Cupid on her chair. "Look after your brother." She muttered to Anteros and Cupid crossed his arms. As if he needed babysitting…

"So," Artemis said, "does your boyfriend ever fight for you?"

"Well," Cupid said. "There was this one time Katie hit me with my own love arrow and I fell for Cosmo. Juan stole a hate arrow from my counterpart to get me to love him again."

"_Aw!_" The Goddesses squealed.

"That's so cute!" Artemis exclaimed. "He practically risked his life for you! Wait. Who's Katie?"

"His goddaughter."

Artemis gasped, "So…it's like you two are parents together!"

"Well…not really -"

"Oh, just imagine you two having a baby together!"

Cupid stopped, stared at her, then said, "No. I don't want to imagine that."

Aphrodite walked over to her husband, who was frowning, his arms crossed over his chest. The chair he sat in was so small that his knees were almost touching his chin. Above him, a sign with an arrow pointing down at him read DO NOT FEED THE GOD/GODDESS. Aphrodite stopped in front of him and crossed her arms. Hephaestus didn't look at her as he spoke, "I don't know why I'm sitting here. Ares should be sat here."

Aphrodite sighed through her nose, "I don't know why you start fights."

"Because he talks about you like you are a prize to be won. I do not see you as such a thing." Hephaestus replied. "You are my wife and I hold both a great opinion and a large amount of affection for you. He is the only one who does not accept that. He should."

Aphrodite smiled softly and knelt down beside him, "I picked you, didn't I? That's all that matters." Hephaestus didn't look at her and his expression didn't change. Aphrodite cupped his face in one hand and turned his head toward her, "Hephaestus, I _love you." _She pressed a firm yet loving kiss to her husband's lips. His expression became one of surprise.

"Ah, well, yes," Hephaestus said, fiddling with his fingers. "I, uh, I feel the same. I mean, I must do because we're married and - and we have children. T-Two boys. Twins. Of course you already knew that because, after all, _you _were the one to give birth to them. A-And you still blame me for the fact we had _twins. _I-I didn't mean for you to have two, though. We only intended to have one child."

"Oh, thanks, Mom!" Anteros called over angrily. "Nice to know you _wanted us!"_

Aphrodite glanced at him, frowning, then looked back to Hephaestus as he whimpered slightly and made a calming gesture at her, "S-Stay…" He scooped up the scrap metal he'd been playing with and turned away from her. She saw him take a few tools from his toga and heard the noise of metal being put together. Suddenly, he turned back to her and glanced at his cupped hands nervously, then held them out to her. In his hands was a little metal love heart, obviously made of different types of metal, since some squares of its metal coating were different colours. Aphrodite grinned and took it from him, holding it close. She leaned forward and kissed him again. As she pulled back, Hephaestus grinned, then slowly slid out of his chair; his arms flailing as he fell to the ground.

"Oh, real smooth, Dad." Anteros muttered.

Apollo barked out a laugh. "I remember when you guys were born."

Hermes giggled, "Aphrodite tried to strangle Hephaestus…"

Aphrodite looked over her shoulder at him, "Oh, I'm sorry, Hermes. Have _you _ever give birth?"

"Well…no, but -"

"Well, then don't make fun."

Hermes shrank back and pouted unhappily. Apollo patted him on the back, "Don't make fun of a gal who's given birth, mate. Ya just don't do it."

"I'm sorry…"

"It's ok."

…

Not long after, the Meeting of the Gods was finally over. As soon as they got home, Cupid zipped inside the mansion, looking around for his present. Surely, Hephaestus had already placed it here! He looked around, trying to find anything out of the ordinary. Hephaestus wandered in, bubble pipe sticking out of his mouth. Cupid checked the shelves for any boxes or anything. When he didn't find anything, he flew down to Hephaestus. "Daddy, where's my present?" He asked, looking over his shoulder.

"What present?" Hephaestus asked.

Cupid paused and looked up at him, "…My present. You promised me a present if I behaved and got into conversations. I did, so where's my present?"

Hephaestus tilted his head, staring at his son with half-lidded eyes, "I don't comprehend."

"You said you've been working on it for weeks and that it'd go to Anteros if I misbehaved."

"Son, the only things I've been working on are Ares's weapons and Hermes's shoes."

There was silence as Cupid stared at him, then he scowled, "You _tricked me._"

"I would never."

"You _tricked me!_" Cupid gripped his hair. "I can't believe it! I behaved well for _nothing! _And here _I thought _only the _Anti-Hephaestus _tricked people! Guess I was _wrong!_" Cupid squeezed his fists shut and exclaimed, his eyes shut, "I am _never talking to you again!_"

Hephaestus kept the same bored expression on his face as Cupid flew up to the shelf and retrieved his wand, then looked back at Hephaestus. Then he muttered, awkwardly, "See you at the next meeting…" He held up his wand and poofed away.

Aphrodite looked at her husband, then smiled, "You are _so cruel._"

"Hey," Hephaestus looked at her, "it got him to behave, didn't it?"

Aphrodite giggled and hugged her husband's bicep. Anteros, who had been floating nearby, whimpered, "Does this mean I don't get a present either…?"

…

Juandissimo turned the page in his magazine (again, boys can read magazines too) when Cupid suddenly poofed into his lap, still clad in his white toga. Juandissimo stared with wide eyes, arm immediately going around Cupid's waist, then said, "Hola, my darling."

"My dad is a _filthy liar._" Cupid muttered grumpily, his arms crossed.

"Really?" Juandissimo asked. "Señor Hephaestus seemed nice to me."

"Yeah, _to you. _He's ok to _you._" Cupid huffed and rested his head against Juandissimo's collarbone. "Now, shut up. I'm tired."

"…Have you been eating caramel again, mi amor?"

"You bet I have."

Juandissimo smiled, almost awkwardly, and went back to his reading. A good sleep would soothe Cupid's mood, so that was what he was going to let him do. Sleep. But then, another thought struck him and he couldn't resist asking, "…Are you wearing a diaper under that?"

"I'm not wearing _anything _under this."

Juandissimo paused. He hadn't been able to feel any sort of diaper or underwear through the toga. His facial expression changed.

After the almost uncomfortable silence, Cupid looked up at Juandissimo, "…Why're you grinning at me like that?"

…

**Author's note:**

**Because he's having pervy thoughts, Cupid. That's why he's grinning at you like that.**

***Ahem* Anyway. Readers, *gestures* meet the Gods. They're a weird bunch.**

**Apollo's speech **_**murdered **_**my spell-check.**

**The Goddesses are CupidxJuan shippers. Good. They should be.**

**You guys are gonna kill me for this: in the original plot for this one-shot, Juan was going to accompany them to the meeting and meet **_**every single one of these Gods/Goddesses. **_***Dodges objects thrown at me* What?! This was easier to write!**

**Ahem. Anyway, allow me to introduce these guys to you:**

**Let's start with Zeus, King of the Gods. This version is from the episode 'Freaks and Greeks', but I only added a few things. In mythology, he's the King of the Gods and God of the Sky, Lightning/Thunder, and Law, Order and Justice. In some versions of 'Hephaestus gets thrown off of Mount Olympus', Zeus is the one to throw him off because Heph took Hera's side in an argument. He had **_**loads **_**of affairs with countless women, resulting in the births of Hephaestus's many half-siblings. He was the husband **_**and brother **_**of Hera. In FOP, however, he is the party-loving husband of Hera and father of Hephaestus, Ares and their sisters. Due to his antisocial behaviour when he was a teenager, Hephaestus is the son Zeus has least bonded with, so tries to bond with him whenever Heph goes up to Mount Olympus. Despite his wacky behaviour, Zeus can actually be kinda strict, especially with his children. He was probably most excited when he learned Aphrodite was pregnant with Heph's children, since he **_**really **_**wanted grandkids. He is deeply in love with Hera, as she is with him (they aren't siblings in FOP, cause that's just weird). He's one of the few Gods to wear a toga everyday.**

**Hera is Queen of the Gods and is the Goddess of Marriage, Women and Birth. In some myths, it's said that she gave birth to Hephaestus (and some other kids) without any assistance from Zeus (due to her jealousy toward his many affairs). Obviously, she was not happy with how Hephaestus turned out and tossed him off of Mount Olympus, crippling him. As revenge (when he got older), Hephaestus built her a throne which she was delighted with until she sat on it. She was stuck to the throne (in some myths, she was chained to it and the chains got tighter as she struggled) and Hephaestus was the only one who was able to get her off. When they finally got Hephaestus to take Hera off, he demanded to be married to Aphrodite in return, so they did just that (which is another version of how Heph and 'Dite got married). In FOP, however, Hera and Heph have a much better relationship. When Heph was a teenager, Hera constantly tried to coax him out of his workshop, but he wouldn't have it. Due to this, she was constantly worried that he would grow up unmarried and without children, so you can imagine her happiness at learning that he and Aphrodite were bonding (even if 'Dite was dating Ares at the time). She was especially thrilled when Hephaestus told her how he felt about Aphrodite, not only because he had finally found affection for someone but because her son was finally talking to her properly. She's slightly ashamed to know that Heph is now her 'little favourite'. Hera has a good relationship with Aphrodite and is happy that Anteros and Cupid even exist. She's one of the few Gods/Goddesses who wear togas all of the time.**

**In mythology, Ares is best known as the lover of Aphrodite and father to the Erotes and their siblings. He's the God of War, Violence and Bloodshed. Even though he's the lover of Aphrodite, he's had his own fair share of affairs. He was the first to try and get Hephaestus back up to Mount Olympus to free Hera, but Hephaestus threw fire at him. It's hinted in myths that Ares is older then Hephaestus, so he is the older brother in FOP. Speaking of FOP, in this, he is Cupid and Anteros's uncle, ex-boyfriend of Aphrodite and big bro to Hephaestus. He and Heph hate each other, not only because of their love for Aphrodite but because Ares is basically a big bully. When they were young, Ares bullied Hephaestus for being 'different' (solitary, disliking parties etc.) and even told Hera how much he disliked his brother (what he didn't know was that Heph was listening the entire time). Hera constantly scolded Ares for his poor treatment of Heph. Ares also made fun of Heph because of his prosthetic leg and for the fact that, during his antisocial years, he was practically mute. His favourite little nickname for Heph is 'freak', which he openly called him in front of people (including Aphrodite - when they were still dating). In fact, it was his poor treatment of Heph that led to Aphrodite breaking up with him, since she pitied Heph. He still blames Hephaestus, though. He always forgets that Cupid is known as Cupid and not Eros, since most of the Gods are known by their Greek names and Cupid is known by his Roman name. He has a knack for making people angry, which he often uses to his advantage.**

**Apollo is easily one of the most popular Gods. In mythology, he's the God of pretty much **_**everything (**_**or, at least, a lot of stuff). He did indeed have male lovers as well as female (one of the things he's most famous for) but most of his male lovers…died (Apollo: T_T). He's Hephaestus's half-brother and the twin bro to Artemis. He and Hermes are also half-brothers and often portrayed as friends. When Hermes was a baby, he escaped his mother and ran to where Apollo was grazing his cattle. Hermes took several cows and hid them in a cave, where he found a tortoise and killed it, using the shell and some cow intestines to make the lyre. Apollo complained to Maia (Herme's mother) that he had stolen his cattle, but Hermes had replaced himself in his blankets already, so Maia didn't believe Apollo. Zeus sided with Apollo, however, so Hermes began to play the lyre and Apollo fell in love with it. The lyre is now one of the symbols of Apollo. In FOP, Apollo mainly focuses on the music part of his job, though sometimes dabbles into poetry and has a sun emblem on his normal clothes. He is the bestest of best friends with Hermes, whom he always goes to for opinions on his lyrics/poems (as Anteros does with Apollo). They're that pair of guys whom everyone thinks are dating, but aren't. Apollo will reference that 'lyre' myth in a later story. Apollo nicknames people (like Anteros does), but he does it regardless of his opinion on them. His nicknames often include some part of the person's name ('Phaestus, 'Dite, Lil' 'Ros, Littler 'Ros etc.). He is the proud owner of The House of Apollo/Apollo's Music House (goes by both names), which is a music club somewhere near Mount Olympus. Anyone can go there, regardless of age or species. Anteros is a regular there. He often refers to himself as 'Uncle Apollo' in front of Anteros and Cupid, since he thinks of Hephaestus as his brother (despite their…odd relationship). All you need to know about his normal clothes is that he is a wacky dresser and is famous for his weird clothes. 'Mighty fine' is pretty much his favourite phrase. His speech is based off of speech that I've heard throughout my life from strangers and people on TV. It's also kind of how I used to speak. Now, I'm told that I'm posh (am I posh?). In mythology, Apollo is his name in both Greek and Roman myths, however many Roman poets took to calling him Phoebus. **

**Artemis is Apollo's twin sister. This is the version of her that appears in 'Freaks and Greeks'. In mythology, it's been said that she is older then Apollo and she helped their mother give birth to him (reason why she's the Goddess of Childbirth). She interested many men and Gods, but since she was the Goddess of Virginity, she refused them. The only to capture her heard was Orion, her hunting companion, but he was accidentally killed by either Artemis or Gaia (depends on the myth). In FOP, she and Apollo don't get along very well. She is incredibly interested in Cupid's love life, since she was one of the Goddesses he spent most time around when he was a kid. She taught him how to aim and fire his arrows properly (Hephaestus tried to, but failed miserably). Artemis is good friends with Athena and is the Apollo-equivalent of the Goddesses (basically, she's really popular with them). She calls herself 'Auntie Artemis' in front of Cupid and Anteros, since she thinks of Aphrodite as a sister. She's another Goddess to wear a toga all the time.**

**Athena is most famous for being the Goddess of Wisdom. She is the virgin patroness of Athens and is also the namesake of said city. Hephaestus did indeed fancy her in mythology, but in the myths he tried to…rape her (O_- You can imagine my surprise when I read that). He failed, but it still resulted in the birth of Erichthonius (I won't tell you how it did, since it's both weird and kinda…gross). Athena is famous for being born from Zeus's head. Quite literally, someone (in some myths it's Hephaestus that does this, but in others it's multiple people) cleaved open his head and Athena jumped out (hence being the Goddess of Wisdom). In classical myths, due to her jealousy of this event, Hera bore Hephaestus by herself. In FOP, Athena is basically a dictionary with legs. She randomly spits out bits of facts, depending on something someone has said (as shown in this chapter) and she is a constant annoyance to Aphrodite, due to Heph's old crush on her. Athena enjoys taunting Aphrodite about this, sometimes making comments like, "Why, doesn't Hephaestus look handsome today?" or "Well, Hephaestus **_**is **_**kind of cute…". See? Hephaestus isn't the only one who gets jealous in he and 'Dite's relationship, but 'Dite doesn't start physical fights (the worst she's ever done is smash a pie into Athena's face, which she did when Anteros and Cupid were kids). Hephaestus now treats Athena like he would any other woman. Athena is another Goddess Cupid spent a lot of time around and she was one of the people who helped teach him how to read and write. She's another Goddess to wear a toga all the time.**

**Dionysus didn't appear in this, but I have the urge to explain him anyway. In mythology, Dionysus is another one of Heph's half-siblings. He is the youngest of the Twelve Olympians and the only one to have a mortal mother. He's only included in some lists of the Twelve Olympians, like Hades. He's the God of Grape Harvesting, Wine/Winemaking, Theatre and Ecstasy. Dionysus was the one to collect Hephaestus when Heph trapped Hera on that throne by getting him drunk and carrying him to Mount Olympus on the back of a donkey. In FOP (this version appears in 'Freaks and Greeks'), he loves to party and is shown riding around on a whoopee cushion. He's friends with Hephaestus and the two sometimes engage in conversation. He's also close friends Hermes and Apollo. Anteros spend a lot of time with him when he was a kid, including riding on his whoopee cushion was him. He's another God who wears a toga all the time.**

**Poseidon is Zeus's brother and God of the Sea, Earthquakes, Horses and Storms. In mythology, he has been known as the Earth-shaker and tamer of horses. He was one of Aphrodite's lovers and, together, they had Rhode (yes. Aphrodite even cheated on Heph with his uncle…That's just weird…). In FOP, Poseidon's lower body is that of a fish's. The nephew/niece he's bonded with the most is Ares, since Ares often uses horses when going to war, so he gets them from Poseidon. Poseidon taught Anteros and Cupid how to swim and attempted to get Hephaestus over his aquaphobia (God of Fire, anyone?), but failed miserably and only succeeded in getting Heph even more scared. **

**I've already told you about Hermes, but here's a bit more info about him: he is practically lost without Apollo. After delivering mail, Hermes will immediately go to The House of Apollo/Apollo's Music House, so if you're looking for him, check there. He'll get extremely ticked if you call him a 'mailman', to the point that he will yell at you that he's not and is, in fact, a **_**messenger (**_**this occurs when he meets Juandissimo and Cupid says 'he's basically our mailman'). Since Anteros learned everything before Cupid (talking, walking, flying etc.), Cupid grew impatient with his flight. Hephaestus requested the help of Hermes (he couldn't teach Cupid, since Heph barely ever uses his wings), so Hermes is responsible for Cupid's ability to fly. As a result, Hermes is the God (besides Heph) that Cupid has bonded with the most. Hermes sometimes performs with Apollo at his club, but it takes a lot of persuasion because Hermes is so shy about performing in front of people. Hermes is the second youngest of the twelve, but acts the youngest. In my opinion, he's the cutest. **

**So, that's the Gods. You may notice that this only adds up to eleven Olympians. That's because the Twelfth was purposely left out. They'll be introduced later. The scenes in which Hades and Cupid's cousins (the ones he keeps saying he hates) were deleted due to complications. They weren't anything special. The cousins scene was basically Anteros and Cupid vs. their cousins, who were also twin boys. They were going to have some huge argument, stopped by Hephaestus (the scene took place during the meeting of the Twelve Olympians, when Cupid and Anteros are in those little chairs). Hephaestus was then going to take his children aside and scold them. The Hades scene was simply Hades taunting Cupid for almost dying on Valentine's day (a reference to Love Struck). If you're curious, this was his line: "I almost had you in my domain, Eros. You know, when that Turner child wished away love. Too bad. I've always wanted one of the children of Vulcan in the Underworld. What a wonderful place that would be for an almost-killer, hm?" He's referring to Christmas Everyday with that 'almost-killer' part, since the Holiday Leaders tried to get rid of Santa. Hephaestus was then going to get **_**extremely **_**peeved (fire in his fists and everything) and shout that his son wasn't a killer, only for Hera to call him Vulcan. Hephaestus would've then looked at Cupid, reminding himself that he shouldn't get angry with one of his children present, and warn Hades to never mock his child again, then scoop Cupid into his hand and walk away from him; telling Cupid not to listen to Hades.**

**Yeah. Hades is a jerk…I'm gonna write something about him.**

**Just to avoid any questions, and to make this author's note even longer, allow me to explain their toga colours, as well as tell you their other names:**

**Zeus/Jupiter: colour was already picked in FOP, so I don't know. Storm clouds, maybe?**

**Poseidon/Neptune: sea foam green (get it? Sea foam?…No?). He doesn't wear one in the FOP episode, but he does at these meetings. **

**Hera/Juno: gold, since she's the Goddess of Marriage. Wedding rings are often gold.**

**Artemis/Diana: blue-ish. Colour already pick in the FOP episode, so I don't know.**

**Apollo/Phoebus (if you wanna call him that): yellow. He's the God of the Sun after all. **

**Ares/Mars: red. A reference to blood, since he's the God of Bloodshed, War and Violence.**

**Dionysus/Bacchus: purple. Already picked in the FOP episode, but I would've picked purple anyway. God of Wine and everything.**

**Aphrodite/Venus: pink. Pink is often seen symbolizing feminine beauty, which Aphrodite represents.**

**Hephaestus/Vulcan: grey. A reference to metal, which is the main thing he crafts.**

**Hermes/Mercury: silver. Silver often represents wind/air and Hermes flies around a lot, so…yeah.**

**Athena/Minerva: orange. I asked my family what colour they'd give wisdom and orange was the most popular (so was green) because it's a 'bright colour' (feel free to groan at the bad joke). But she's also the Goddess of Courage and Warfare, which is kinda linked to war, which Ares rules over. Ares's colour is red and orange is like a brighter shade of red, so I went with orange.**

**All the other Gods (like Cupid and Anteros) just have white to show that they are children of the Twelve Olympians. If you wore white any other day, it wouldn't mean anything (Hermes wears white any other day, but has to wear silver at meetings).**

**Juan will meet Ares and Apollo (not at the same time). He'll meet Apollo in his 'natural habitat' (aka, The House of Apollo/Apollo's Music House). He's already met Heph, 'Dite, Anteros and Hermes. I'm still not sure if he'll meet the others. Though, just imagine him meeting the Goddesses…I honestly don't know how that would work out.**

**See, Juan? Now the readers hate you.**

**Juan: Do not hate me just because I'm beautiful.**

**That's not why they hate you and you know it. Hey, Cup. You have a question.**

**Cupid: What will I do with the box? *Looks over at Juan, who's staring at girls. Pokes his shoulder***

**Juan: *Turns to him* Hm?**

**Cupid: *Points at the box***

**Juan:…*Grins nervously* Heh, heh…Te amo, Cupido.**

**Cupid: Shut up.**

**And, death mega sega…Anteros was most likely at Apollo's place. He probably poofed to Cupid's after the one-shot, found that the two were already asleep, and thought 'Well, I don't need to be here anymore', then poofed back to Apollo's. He's not very good at comforting Cupid anyway, so it didn't really matter. XD**

**I hope you enjoyed reading this one-shot and the World's Longest Author's note. **

***Sighs* The last **_**Of Pink Hair and Spanish Flair **_**one-shot…**

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…**of 2012. Had a heart attack then, didn't you?**


	26. Flirt

**Of Pink Hair and Spanish Flair**

**I don't own Fairly Odd Parents. Butch Hartman does.**

**WARNING!: This series is about CupidxJuandissimo. Don't like, don't read.**

**Relationship: Lovers.**

**Word: Flirt.**

…

Oh, no he _di'n't!_

Cupid's anger burned inside of him as he watched Juandissimo take hold of Wanda's hands and smirk at her with that…that…_smirk of his. _Nearby, the pink-haired fairy's husband was gritting his teeth in anger, about ready to pounce on Juandissimo. Timmy and Poof weren't anywhere in sight. Weird. Usually they were - Oh, what did Cupid care?! His lover was flirting with another girl! 'I promise I'll stop, mi amor', he said! 'She means nothing to me now', he said!

Oh, he wouldn't _want to know _what _Cupid _said behind his back!

The pink-haired God crossed his arms and scowled. If Juandissimo thought that this was ok - running off to flirt with his ex (whom he should've gotten over, like, _thousands of years ago!) _- then he had another thing coming. Cupid didn't like being second place and he _certainly _didn't like being ignored. Cupid watched as Juandissimo planted a kiss on Wanda's hand. The God probably should've turned and floated away, let Juandissimo figure out his anger and float after him. Instead, the God just gritted his teeth even more. Wasn't there any part of Juandissimo's brain that screamed, "HELLO? MR. MORON-WHO'S-FLIRTING-WITH-HIS-EX? YOUR _LOVER _IS PRETTY PEEVED AT YOU RIGHT NOW!"

Obviously not.

Cupid looked over at Cosmo, who was biting the end of his tie in anger. Well, at least he wasn't alone in his anger. The God stared at the green-haired fairy, then glanced at his boyfriend. Juandissimo wasn't even glancing at him - too focused on Wanda. Cupid took another glance at Cosmo. As an idea grew in his mind, he began to smile deviously. If Juandissimo could flirt with people, what was stopping Cupid from doing the same? Besides, after that incident with the love arrow, Juandissimo had seemed to dislike Cosmo even more. So he should. Cosmo had spent an entire day with a love struck Cupid. Cupid glanced at Juandissimo. He was exactly in the Spanish fairy's line of sight. Cupid straightened himself, brushed himself off, fixed his hair and then looked at Cosmo. "Oh, Cosmo!" He called flirtatiously. He took a quick look at Juandissimo. No, nothing yet. Ok, fine. "Cosmo." He called again.

Cosmo glanced at him when he heard him, the end of his tie still in his mouth, squeezing it in both of hands. "Hm?"

Cupid gestured for him to come over with a curl of his finger. Cosmo tilted his head, then removed the tie from his mouth and floated over. "Hi, Cupid."

Cupid grinned, "Hi, Cosmo." He took a strand of Cosmo's hair in his fingers and played with it, as he'd seen Juandissimo do to Wanda. "You look handsome today."

"…You noticed I've been using a new shampoo?!" Cosmo asked happily, as though this was the best thing in the world.

"Oh, uh…" Cupid looked at Juandissimo, then back to Cosmo, "Yeah. It's _fabulous._"

"Thanks!" Cosmo looked back to Juandissimo and Wanda, "The _nerve of that guy…_"

"I know, right?" Cupid blurted, hands going to his hips, then stopped himself. _Now, now, Cupid, you're supposed to be flirting, not ranting… _"Oh, forget them." Cupid put his hand to Cosmo's cheek and turned his head so that he was looking right at the God. Cupid purposely floated closer, bringing his free hand up and resting his chin on it. He glanced at Juandissimo out of the corner of his eye and - Oh, yes. He was looking over at them. Right over Wanda's shoulder. She was talking to him, probably scolding him for flirting, and he was looking over at Cupid, only glancing at her a few times as she spoke. Juandissimo looked over at them with a look of confusion, anger and disgust. Cupid smirked then looked at Cosmo. Cosmo stared at him confusedly, "What're you doing, Cupid?"

"Oh, nothing…" Cupid pretended to be distracted.

From where he floated, Juandissimo squeezed his fists shut in anger. What the heck was Cupid doing? Didn't he remember that they were in a committed relationship? And with Cosmo, of all people! "Oh, Cosmo!" He heard Cupid exclaim, "you're so funny!"

Juandissimo's anger burned and he gritted his teeth. He had never said that to _him before. _Juandissimo glanced at Wanda and tried to pay attention to her, try to focus on her voice and ignore the fact that his lover was flirting with another man - his 'rival in love'. But Wanda's words went in one ear and out the other and he glanced over her shoulder again. Cupid and Cosmo were giggling together now and Juandissimo's fists squeezed even harder. He looked back to Wanda. _Focus on her, Juan…Ignore them…Focus…Focus…No, no, don't look at Cupid and Cosmo again…Focus…Focus…FOCUS, DARN IT!_

…_Hey! Cupid's playing with Cosmo's tie!…Wait, what?_

Juandissimo looked back at the two males. Indeed, Cupid was fiddling with the end of Cosmo's tie. Juandissimo looked at his ex-girlfriend, pretending to listen some more, then…Oh, no way.

Cupid grabbed Cosmo by the tie and pulled him closer, as though he was about to kiss him. "What're ya doing, Cupid?" Cosmo asked.

"Just getting a closer look at your eyes. They're _lovely._" Cupid flirted, knowing full-well that Juandissimo was watching.

"Thanks! I get 'em from my dad!"

"Same here."

Cosmo's smile dropped. "You get your eyes from my dad? Are you my _brother?_"

Cupid pretended to find this funny, giggled and lightly hit him on the chest, "No, _silly! _I get my eyes from _my dad!_" He giggled again and leaned closer to him, "You're so _funny…_"

Ok! That was _it! _God, if Cupid leaned in any closer, he would be _kissing Cosmo! _Juandissimo put up an index finger, "Sorry, mi bonita, but…I have to go." With that, he zipped passed her and over to where his lover was floating. He crossed his arms, angrily cleared his throat - purposely loud - and frowned at them.

Cupid looked at him, then rolled his eyes and smiled at Cosmo, "Sorry, Cozzie. I have to go." He released Cosmo's tie and took hold of his hand, kissing the back of it tenderly. He blew him a kiss, which turned into a little love heart - as they always did when Cupid blew kisses. It floated over to Cosmo, landing on his cheek and fading into his skin. Cosmo smiled. Cupid gave him one last wink before turning and floating away. Juandissimo gritted his teeth, angered that Cupid hadn't said a word to him, and followed.

Cosmo waved at Cupid as he left, "Bye, Cupid!"

Wanda floated over to her husband and raised an eyebrow, "What was that about?"

Cosmo grinned at her, "I think Cupid wants to be my friend again!"

Wanda just stared confusedly at her husband. With the way Cupid had been talking to him, it seemed like he wanted to be…_more _then a friend…

…

Juandissimo was as steamed as a boiling carrot as he followed Cupid back to his mansion. How could Cupid do that? He had…_flirted _with _Cosmo! Of all people! _The fairy Juandissimo absolutely _despised! _How could he do that to him?! Cupid knew how much Juandissimo disliked Cosmo! Did he not remember that they were supposed to be in a _committed relationship?! _

Cupid hummed cheerfully as they approached the front doors. The nerve of the guy…humming cheerfully while Juandissimo was obviously upset with him. The God took his heart-shaped key out of his pocket and pushed it into the lock, just as Juandissimo hand shot passed Cupid's ear and slammed against the door. Cupid paused, then looked over his shoulder, "Something wrong, Juan?" He asked, voice eerily sweet.

"What was _that?"_

"What was what?"

"You and Cosmo!" Juandissimo exclaimed. "Do not tell me you actually have _feelings _for him!"

Cupid shrugged, "Maybe."

"Maybe?! Cupido, I thought _we _were dating! How could you possibly have _sentimientos románticos for Cosmo?!"_

Cupid purposely pouted innocently, "Are you upset with me, Juan?"

Juandissimo spluttered, "Yes!"

"Well, good." Cupid frowned. "Now you know how I feel about you and Wanda."

Juandissimo paused and his frown fell. Cupid raised an eyebrow, waiting for him to respond, then turned with a little 'Hmph' and unlocked his door. He opened it and floated inside, leaving Juandissimo outside. Slowly, the Spanish fairy brought his hands up and covered his face with them, "Oh, Dios…" Juandissimo floated inside, closed the door, then followed Cupid toward the kitchen. Before Cupid could reach the kitchen, however, Juandissimo grabbed his wrist and twirled him around, then wrapped an arm around his waist and pulled him close.

Cupid crossed his arms, "What?"

"I'm sorry." Juandissimo said right away.

Cupid rolled his eyes, "Yeah, so you've said before."

"Cupid, please." Juandissimo said. "I've told you, I've tried to control myself."

"Yep, so did I. But, ya know, Cosmo was right there…" He trailed off.

"_Please,_" Juandissimo held him closer. "_Please don't _tell me you actually have feelings for Cosmo."

"Depends. Do _you _have feelings for Wanda?"

Juandissimo paused and looked away, mouth opening and closing. _Did he? _His feelings for Wanda had certainly died down a little since he began dating Cupid, but he still longed for her. There was more silence, then Juandissimo muttered, "I…I don't know."

"Hm." Cupid shrugged. "Then I _might _just have feelings for _Cosmo."_

Juandissimo's face fell. "Cupido, please. If there is one thing I hate, it is seeing - or even thinking about - you with another man. And…Cosmo? _Really?_"

"Wanda? Really?" Cupid said in retaliation.

"Mi amor…" Juandissimo sighed and looked away in thought, then looked back at him, "I cannot help it. You know that." Before Cupid could say anything, Juandissimo tucked a strand of pink hair behind his ear, "but I told you I prefer you. I meant that. I will try harder. Harder then before, I promise. I mean, I almost stopped myself this time but…I have urges."

"Wow," Cupid said suddenly, "this is starting to sound like the time Dad gave Anteros and I 'the talk'." Juandissimo cringed slightly at the thought. Cupid raised an eyebrow, "Promise, huh?"

"Si. Promise."

"Because I don't like it."

"I know."

"But you do it anyway."

Juandissimo sighed through his nose, "I know." There was silence before Juandissimo said, awkwardly, "…You don't…_really _like _Cosmo…_do you?"

Cupid scoffed, "Oh, please, Juan, I barely like him as a friend."

Juandissimo breathed a sigh of relief, "Gracias a Dios…_Please _never do that again…"

"Depends if you break your promise. Besides, I _do _kinda like green eyes." Juandissimo paused and stared at him. Cupid held up an index finger, "But that's no excuse for you to return to me in a few hours with green eyes."

"Because you like purple eyes more?"

"I guess."

Juandissimo grinned in satisfaction, "That, and Cosmo could never have such a fantastic chest, si?" The Spanish man pulled back from his lover and proceeded to rip off his shirt. Cupid frowned at him. After a few moments of uncomfortable silence, Juandissimo poofed another shirt back on. He took hold of Cupid's hands and kissed his fingers, muttering, "Te amo, Cupido…" against them. Then he pulled Cupid to him and pressed a kiss to his lips. When he pulled back, he smirked and pressed his forehead to Cupid's, "See? _Cosmo _could never kiss you like that."

"Pfft. I doubt he would. He may be an idiot, but he still loves Wanda."

"Just as I love you." Juandissimo said happily, kissing Cupid's fingers again.

"Besides," Cupid said. "I like men with more muscle anyway." He poked Juandissimo on the bicep and Juandissimo smirked and hugged his lover tightly. See? He knew spending time in the gym, working out, would pay off. Pfft. And no one believed him…Pfft!

"…Mi amor…"

"Hm?"

"Please, do not ever call him 'Cozzie' again."

Cupid shrugged, "Alright, _that _I can agree to."

Juandissimo grinned and pulled the God into another kiss.

…

**Author's note:**

**The first **_**Of Pink Hair and Spanish Flair **_**one-shot for 2013 and it's filled with fake CupidxCosmo, promise-breaking/jealous Juan and plenty o' kissing.**

…**How kind I am to you all.**

**Maybe this was just an excuse to write about these four and their weird…love square thing-y. Oh, well. At least the one-shot features my four favourite magical characters. **

**This is the second time I have gotten a review that reminded me of an old story I forgot to write down. Thank you, CassyG, for reminding me with your review for 'Enough'.**

**I'm not entirely happy with how this came out, but at least it got me out of - what I like to call - my 'Hephaestus High'. Basically, I've spent a good few hours obsessing over Heph, reading multiple stories about him (most of which I've already read) and having some odd fight scene replaying in my head over and over between Hephaestus and Anti-Hephaestus (who I have yet to introduce to you). They had swords, guys! **_**Swords! **_

**Anyway, a little story for you all. I'll set the scene: my family and I sit down for Christmas dinner. It's been a lovely day so far. Got a couple of FOP DVDs for Christmas, yup, good. Wearing my good ol' pink trilby that I bought a few months ago (just because it reminds me of Timmy). Not very Christmas-y, but oh, well. Pick up the good ol' Christmas cracker and hold it out for my younger-older brother. We pull on both ends and the cracker pops open. I look inside for the trinkets and - What's this? I take out…a **_**purple paper hat! **_**I immediately take off my trilby (which, bear in mind, is also the colour of **_**Cupid's hair - **_**the other reason I bought it) and stare at both hats. The first thought that pops into my head? 'Oh, my God! My **_**Christmas cracker…ships JuandissimoxCupid!…Brilliant!' **_**I then proceed to put paper hat on top of trilby and then put trilby onto head, feeling rather epic while doing so. I was later disappointed to find that my second Christmas cracker did not contain the green hat that I desired (my younger-older **_**brother got that one…Grr…). **_**Anyway, I have now deemed this combination of hats my 'JuandissimoxCupid' hat…which I am wearing right now. **

***Sighs* I need a life…**


	27. Mouse

**Of Pink Hair and Spanish Flair**

**I don't own Fairly Odd Parents. Butch Hartman does.**

**I do, however, own these versions of Anti-Cupid and Anti-Juandissimo.**

**WARNING!: This series is about CupidxJuandissimo. Don't like, don't read.**

**Relationship: Lovers.**

**Word: Mouse.**

…

There was always some point in someone's day where it just stopped being normal. For most, that started as soon as they opened their eyes and realized they were still alive. For Juandissimo, it was when he heard Cupid scream. The Spanish fairy had been reading a riveting article about hair care when a high-pitched scream (_way _too high for a _man _to make) rang throughout the house. It frightened Juandissimo half to death and he had almost jumped completely off of his seat. When it finally hit him that this was _his lover's _scream, panic, curiosity and protectiveness shot into his mind, "Cupido!" He dropped his magazine and tore his wand from his pocket (almost ripping said pocket) and quickly poofed away, leaving behind the word EMERGENCY!

The Spanish fairy reappeared in the kitchen, the room where the scream had emitted. He looked around, searching desperately for his love, when a flash of pink was caught in the corner of his eye. He tilted his head up and raised an eyebrow. Squeezed into the corner, hands on the walls and neck craned so that his head didn't hit the ceiling, was Cupid; looking like a deer caught in the headlights. "Cupido?"

"Get that _thing _out of my kitchen!" Cupid commanded quickly.

Juandissimo looked around, looking for any sign of Anti-God or anti-fairy. Of course, then again, when did Cupid ever back down from his counterpart? "What thing?"

"Are you _blind?!_" Cupid exclaimed, "It's right _there!_" He jabbed a finger at the air, pointing in the direction of this supposed terror.

Juandissimo turned, expecting to see some sort of monster or beast that some child had probably wished up. Instead he saw a - "…mouse. It is a mouse."

Said rodent twitched its little whiskers as it looked up at him, then shook itself. Juandissimo stared at it, expecting it to do something terrifying like…um…shoot lasers or something silly like that (although that would be awesome). Instead, its nose twitched again. Juandissimo slowly looked back up at Cupid, who was trembling with fear. "Really? _That _is the monster?"

"Yes! It's _disgusting!_" Cupid yelled back. "Get rid of it!"

Juandissimo glanced at it, then looked back at Cupid, "…You're afraid of mice?"

"Pfft! No! Of course not!" Cupid answered stubbornly.

Juandissimo's eyes became half-lidded and he retrieved his wand from his pocket. He waved it half-heartedly and purple sparkles twittered around the mouse. The little white rodent began hovering above the floor, rotating like he was stuck in a little bubble. Juandissimo slowly pointed his wand at Cupid and the mouse flew over to him. As it approached, Cupid's eyes widened to a point that probably wasn't healthy and yelped, zipping over to the lamp hanging in the middle of the ceiling. The God leapt onto the lampshade, clutching onto the wire with both hands.

The God looked down at Juandissimo, "_You _are the _worst boyfriend ever!"_

Juandissimo raised an eyebrow at his lover's fear. Who knew the God of Love - known for his TV appearances, frequent trips to the Human World and standing up to Eliminators and Anti-Gods - was afraid of _mice? _

"Don't just stare!" Cupid exclaimed. "Get rid of it!"

Juandissimo used his wand to guide the floating mouse over to his left hand. The little rodent plopped down into his palm and he stared at it for a moment. This cute little thing inflicted fear? A _God _was afraid of it?…He didn't get it. Still, it gave him the chance to be the hero. Holding up his wand, Juandissimo granted Cupid's wish and the little mouse poofed away. The Spanish fairy looked up at Cupid, "…It's gone, mi amor."

Cupid peeked over the side of the lampshade before sighing in relief, "Ugh. _Finally. _'Oh, yeah, move to Fairy World!' they said. 'It's great there!' they said. Hmph. Never mentioned any _mice._"

Mock him if you will, but he had suffered through many years of his older brother bringing in rodents that he wanted to keep. It certainly didn't help that Anteros - who was supposed to be, what Hephaestus had once predicted, a 'loving, supportive big brother' - would hold the mice he collected in his younger brother's face, resulting in tears and tale-telling…and a very angry God of Craftsmanship.

Juandissimo let a small smile of amusement form on his face. He held up his wand as the star began to glow. Cupid barely had time to blink before he was poofed into Juandissimo's waiting arms. Cupid frowned at him as the Spanish fairy held him bridal style, then kissed the God's temple gently. He grinned cheekily at him, "And how is my Damisela en apuros?"

Cupid crossed his arms, "I dunno what that means, but you probably made some witty comment."

"Would I do that?"

"Yes."

Juandissimo scoffed, "Why did you not tell me of your…phobia?"

"Pfft. I don't have a phobia. I just don't like mice. They're…gross."

"They are not that bad. But I suppose it's ok to be afraid of -"

"I'm not afraid of them!" Cupid insisted. "Besides, don't act like you're not afraid of anything."

Juandissimo shrugged, "Of course I'm not. Here, I am the Caballero en armadura brillante, no?"

Cupid raised an eyebrow. Instead of responding, he got out of his lover's hold and floated over to the mirror hanging on the wall. He picked it up and floated back over to Juandissimo, holding it up to him. Juandissimo grinned at his reflection, running a hand through his hair. Cupid peeked out from behind the mirror, then retrieved his wand from his pocket and pointed the star at it. Juandissimo glanced at him, then began to panic, "No! No, Cupido, please, don't!"

Too late. Cupid flicked his wrist and zapped the mirror with blue light. The mirror shattered to pieces, dropping to the floor and leaving no reflection for Juandissimo to stare at. Juandissimo screamed, gripping his hair dramatically, "What have you done?! Por el amor de Dios! Now I have nothing that enables me to admire mi hermoso rostro! And it needs to be admired!"

Cupid rolled his eyes, "My hero…" He drawled as Juandissimo - completely losing common sense - picked up some pieces of mirror and tried to fit them together. He paused for a second, then muttered, "I've probably just gave us bad luck…" He shrugged. "Oh, well. Jorgen can deal with the anti-fairies…" Cupid looked down at Juandissimo, "You know, I bet _Cosmo _wouldn't have mocked me." Juandissimo raised his head and frowned at him. Cupid nodded, "Yeah. You upset me and I'll mention _him._"

Juandissimo sighed.

…

The little mouse scurried across the wooden floor, nose twitching and heart racing. It had to find food. Any food would be good right about now. Geez, what's a small rodent gotta do to get some food?!

Suddenly, there was a weight on its tail. The mouse leapt to try and free itself, but the weight was too heavy. One end of its tail was grabbed by an index finger and a thumb. The weight was lifted, but then so was the mouse - right up to a face with red eyes and vampire teeth, which were not sunk into flesh, but rather a smoking pipe. The Anti-God removed the pipe from his mouth and stared at the little mouse, "Now," He muttered, "what're you doing in my _humble abode?_ Hm? Game of cat-and-mouse gone wrong? Good for me." He tilted his head back, opened his jaws and hovered the rodent over his mouth. The mouse squealed and tried to get away, quickly figuring out what was happening.

"You're not really gonna _eat that, _are you?"

Anti-Cupid paused and straightened his neck, shut his mouth and looked over at his housemate. "I am."

Anti-Juandissimo's nose wrinkled in disgust, "That's _disgusting…_"

"Says the man who thought putting syrup on spaghetti was a good idea."

"But it tasted _so good._"

Anti-Cupid frowned. "Where I come from, mice are the equivalent of a kid's bag of sweets. Father always said not to waste any mice."

"But that's cruel!" Anti-Juandissimo exclaimed.

"You are an anti-fairy. _You _should know what cruelness is."

"I do." He pointed at the mouse. "That's cruel."

Anti-Cupid scoffed. The mouse squealed and swung back and forth on its tail, trying to get itself free of the Anti-God's hold. As though its prayers were answered, its tail came free and the mouse fell to the ground. Quickly, it scurried toward the hole in the wall. Anti-Cupid grabbed his wand from his pocket and zapped red light at it, but the mouse dodged his attacks. "Oh, look at that, Anti-Juandissimo," the Anti-God said, looking at his wand and blowing the smoke from it, "you made me lose my lunch."

Anti-Juandissimo pouted and looked to his housemate. Although he didn't particularly sound it, Anti-Cupid must've been upset if mice were such a delicacy where he was from. If there was one thing the anti-fairy hated, it was when Anti-Cupid was upset. An idea struck him in the head, "I'll get it!" He exclaimed, index finger shooting up in the air, and he ran towards the mouse; hands out for it. "I'll get the _mousy!" _His eyes were so focused on the mouse, he didn't notice the wall he was approaching.

_Perhaps I should warn him… _Anti-Cupid thought as he held his pipe to his lips, "Anti-Juandissimo. It's ok. Wait." He said without emotion.

Anti-Juandissimo hadn't even heard him. He leapt at the mouse, hands out to catch it, when it disappeared into the mouse hole. Anti-Juandissimo crashed, headfirst, into the wall and fell back onto his backside. The anti-fairy looked at the wall in confusion and wondered how it got there. Then the pain and failure sunk in and his eyes filled with tears. The anti-fairy threw his head and, before Anti-Cupid could stop him, he burst into sobs and wails.

Anti-Cupid covered his ears with both hands, trying to block out the crying. His ears twitched at the loud noise and he scowled, baring his teeth in anger, "Alright, _shut up!"_

Anti-Juandissimo's wails immediately stopped and he stared at the Anti-God over his shoulder. "H-Huh?"

"For evil's sake, mice are not a necessity." Anti-Cupid rolled his eyes. "I can live without them. Besides," he looked away with hesitation, "I…prefer the lunch…you make me…"

Anti-Juandissimo's tears immediately dried up, "Really, Anti-Cupid, you really mean that?!"

"Yes. Fine. Whatever."

"_Yay!" _Anti-Juandissimo exclaimed, clasping his hands together in happiness, "I make Anti-Cupid happy!"

Anti-Cupid rolled his eyes, "Did you not get the hint, dimwit? I'm starving!"

Anti-Juandissimo stared at him, then gasped happily, "Stan can help!"

"…Who?"

"Stan! He's my friend!"

"I didn't give you permission to invite friends."

Anti-Juandissimo giggled, "He _lives here!"_

Anti-Cupid stared with wide eyes, "I think I'd remember a third member of this household."

Anti-Juandissimo brought out his wand and flicked his wrist. A spatula appeared in his other hand, "This is Stan!" He held it up.

Anti-Cupid peered at it, "…That's a spatula with a smiley face drawn on it in purple marker…"

"Uh-huh! It's Stan!"

"Where did you get that?"

"From your kitchen. I gave him a face. Do ya like it?"

Anti-Cupid scoffed and put his pipe into his mouth, "I've seen better drawings done by five-year-olds…" Anti-Juandissimo stared at him, eyes widening in near disbelief. He whimpered and more tears began forming in his purple eyes. Anti-Cupid looked over his shoulder at him and frowned, "Don't you dare start that again." Tears slipped out of the anti-fairy's eyes and Anti-Cupid groaned, rolling his eyes heavenwards. "Fine. I suppose, for a spatula, the drawing is…adequate."

"Really?"

"Quite."

Anti-Juandissimo clapped his hands in delight, "Yay! Anti-Cupid's impressed with me!"

"Hm. Yes, well -"

"Oh, Anti-Cupid!" Anti-Juandissimo was suddenly standing behind him. The anti-fairy hugged him tightly in that signature way of his, nuzzling his cheek into the back of his head. "I knew you liked me! I just _knew it!"_

"I never said that!"

"You implied it!"

Anti-Cupid trembled and chewed on the mouthpiece of the pipe. Oh, dear Lord, no…No! Oh, yes. The spasms began and Anti-Cupid dropped his pipe. He tried to reach out for it, but then gripped his hair, "_GOOD EMOTIONS!"_

"_I like you too, Anti-Cupid! Stan likes you, don't you, Stan?!"_

"_I DON'T WANNA BE LIKED BY A SPATULA! GOOD EMOTIONS! GET THEM OUT! OH, FATHER, HELP ME! GOOD EMOTIONS! BURNING!"_

…

**Author's note:**

**In my headcanon, Cupid has a fear of mice and Anti-Cupid eats them. Why not, right?**

**This is not the one-shot I was talking about when I said 'you'll see that Anti-Juandissimo has more brain cells then Anti-Cupid thinks'. That's a different one. One that begins with an L.**

**If anyone can tell me what the Antis' scene is based off of, I will be impressed.**

**Is it bad that I want to write a CupidxCosmo one-shot?**

…**I have also just realized that if CupidxCosmo happened, Anti-CupidxAnti-Cosmo would also happen…THEY WOULD TAKE OVER THE UNIVERSE TOGETHER! Ahem. In all seriousness, I don't know how I feel toward their antis being paired up…Thoughts?**


	28. Reflection

**Of Pink Hair and Spanish Flair**

**I don't own Fairly Odd Parents. Butch Hartman does.**

**I do, however, own these versions of Cupid's family members.**

**WARNING!: This series is about CupidxJuandissimo. Don't like, don't read.**

**Relationship: Lovers.**

**Word: Reflection.**

…

All was still so silent. Good, it should be. Honour the God that had died.

Juandissimo wasn't fresh out of tears yet. They continued to fall down his face and drip from his chin, landing on the sheets of the bed in front of him; where his beloved's remains lay. They'd stayed there for minutes, perhaps hours. Juandissimo hadn't kept track of time. He didn't care right now.

On Earth, everything was chaos. No love, no peace, no mercy. And because of those stupid humans, his love was dead. Juandissimo had never hated humans before, but this - this had just changed his opinion entirely. Selfish, greedy…To think, he had once granted their wishes.

Juandissimo rubbed his face furiously with both hands, smearing his tears over his cheeks, nose and lips. Salt from his tears attacked his taste buds, but he could care less.

If this was what Cupid's death had turned him into - a human-hating fairy who did nothing but cry - then…what about Cupid's family?

…

"_**NO!"**_

Hephaestus's fist hit the TV screen, the glass shattering upon impact. Shards dug into the God's skin, making it shed the liquid that ran through his veins, but he paid no mind to it. The God covered his face with his left hand because, really, no one wanted to see one of the Twelve Olympians cry.

Aphrodite, however, did not show such shame. "Cupid…" She muttered, the tears falling from her eyes in globby, black droplets; smearing mascara down her cheeks. "My…My baby…Eros…" Aphrodite raised her head and screamed, "_Eros! You come back! Come back, now! EROS!"_

No matter how many times she yelled her second son's Greek name - something that usually made him come running - he wouldn't appear. Cupid - or Eros - was no more. Aphrodite fell to her knees, burying her face in her hands, and sobbed loudly.

Hephaestus's shoulders shook, droplets dripping from his chin.

The doors to Hephaestus's workshop flew open and Cupid's twin brother zipped in, his wings flapping madly. "Mom? Dad?" Anteros exclaimed. "Something really weird's happening on Earth! It's the Turner incident all over again! Mom, Dad, we gotta get to Fairy World! Baby bro is -"

"Dead."

Anteros's shoulders sagged. "…Huh?"

Hephaestus straightened himself, left hand falling from his face, right hand still buried in the smashed television they had been using to check on their child, "He's dead, son. Eros is dead. We're too late."

Anteros felt his heart drop. Dead? His brother…dead? The God gulped slowly, body shaking with the preparation of sobs. His own brother - the one he had grown up with, shared a bedroom with, reassured that it was ok to like the same gender - dead? Numbly, shakily, Anteros turned to the right; to the object that had been in the corner of his eye since he arrived.

Cupid looked back at him. Or, a brown-haired Cupid in a brown suit and black shoes did. Everyone was always going on about how they looked so alike. Anteros had once found it cool that he had someone that looked exactly like him, but now he hated that fact. Every time he looked in the mirror, he would see two people - himself and his dead brother. Anteros had never felt more guilty for those 'I wish I was an only child' jokes. Wish come true, he supposed. Was being an only child supposed to hurt so much? Was there supposed to be this empty, numb feeling? This feeling that his heart was made of lead?

Anteros continued to stare into the mirror, staring at his own scared face. Was that how Cupid had felt before his death? Scared? Worried? The God looked back to the collection of TVs. Hephaestus's fist was still inside the main TV, but the others were still intact. Anteros noticed a figure beside Cupid's bed and the little crown floating over them. _At least…Alejandro was with him…_Anteros scowled and gritted his teeth, _I bet you regret ever screwing up your relationship now, don't you, Al? I bet you regret all those times you ever spent with your ex and I bet you wish you spent all of them with Cupid. I bet you regret ever being mean to him - unintentionally or not…I do too._

There was those times in which Anteros was the supportive big brother, where he would protect his baby brother, give him advice and comfort him when he was upset. When Cupid had had to have his tonsils out, the little boy had been absolutely terrified. Since Gods couldn't usually use the magic that fairies could, Cupid had had to have his tonsils removed the ol' fashioned way. Hephaestus had reassured him that it was ok and that he wouldn't feel a thing, which he spoke from experience. But Cupid had simply burst into sobs, yelling that he didn't want his tonsils out. Anteros had then requested that he spoke to his brother in private and, minutes later, he and his twin were alone and talking. Anteros sat on the edge of Cupid's bed, telling him that it would be ok. "You know what the best thing about getting your tonsils out is?"

"No…" Cupid had sniffled, "What?"

"You get to eat all the ice cream you want!"

"…Really?"

"Loads of it! You can have _mountains _of ice-cream if you want!" Anteros had flung his arms up in the air. After a promise that he would wake up to find Anteros with a carton of ice-cream, Cupid agreed to have the operation done. Anteros had been rewarded with a pat on the head by Hephaestus, "Well done, lad." The God had said and Anteros had smiled proudly up at his father.

When Cupid had developed his first crush, he had been completely silent about it to Hephaestus and Aphrodite. When confronted by his big brother, Cupid had told him all about it. "Well, that's great, baby bro!" Anteros had exclaimed. "You have your first ever crush!"

"But…Anteros…"

"Hm? Yeah, baby bro? What is it?"

"…It's not on a girl…"

Anteros had been surprised to hear that. His _brother_? Ever attracted to the same gender? At that age, people would think it was just a phase. But Anteros - being Cupid's twin - wasn't so sure. He knew his little brother. He knew this wouldn't be just a phase. He was proved correct when - several years later - Cupid was still bringing guys home and telling his family that this was his new boyfriend. Cupid had been frightened at first, saying to Anteros that "Mommy and Daddy will be upset with me…". Anteros had told him that this wasn't a bad thing and that Aphrodite and Hephaestus would understand, but Cupid hadn't believed him. Seconds later, Anteros was downstairs, telling their parents that his brother had developed a crush and trying to calm his half-excited, half-upset mother as she blabbed on about how this was so adorable and that her baby was growing up. When Anteros had finally blurted out that Aphrodite's assumptions that a girl was the object of Cupid's desire were incorrect, there was silence. The older twin was once again proven correct when Hephaestus removed his goggles, replaced them with his glasses, and marched right up to his children's bedroom; where he apparently had a heart-to-heart chat with his youngest son, telling him that he would love him no matter what. About an hour later, Hephaestus returned with Cupid in his arms, cuddled to his collarbone. "Son," he had said, placing his son on the floor, "would you now like to tell your mother what you have recently told me?"

Anteros had escaped by then, knowing that his job was done. Those times, Anteros had protected his little brother because he knew that was what he was supposed to do. Cupid had been such a wimp when he was little, that he needed someone to protect him. Sometimes, Anteros would be wandering around and would find his brother cowering in front of someone bigger and more powerful then him and it wouldn't take Athena to figure out what was going on. Seconds later, Anteros would be in front of his brother, arms out; protecting him from the bully and telling them to leave his baby brother alone. When they didn't, he would threaten to tell his daddy or his Uncle Ares and the bully would laugh it up. That is, until they heard someone clear their throat and would turn to find Hephaestus or Ares (or sometimes even both!) standing behind them. If the men were late, however, Anteros would close his eyes and let the fists hit him. Just another black eye to the collection, he supposed. As long as his brother was safe and sound.

Somewhere in their teenage years, the brothers began to grow apart. Cupid moved to Fairy World while Anteros remained in the Land of the Gods. Cupid became some snobby, bossy, stereotypical teenage brat who bossed the cherubs around and expected everything to be done for him. However, after a talk from Hephaestus about how his behaviour would not be tolerated and how, if it continued, he would be sent back to live with his parents, Cupid didn't seem so bossy anymore. He started doing things for himself, let the cherubs have some days off, considered them allies or even friends. Somehow, he had morphed himself into the Cupid they knew today - the arrogant, coffee-loving, caramel-obsessed God of Love. Hephaestus had watched it all with a proud look in his eye. Anteros had noticed, during their teenage years, that Cupid was becoming even more independent. He no longer went to Anteros to everything and instead confided in his cherubs. Anteros admired the little guys. They had to put up with his brother each and every day. Well done, cherubs, you brave lot.

At least, they used to put up with Cupid.

Anteros looked back at the mirror. His poor brother. He hadn't even had a chance to say goodbye. Anteros looked back to his father and did the only thing he could - he denied it all. "No," He growled. "I don't believe you. You're _lying!_" Anteros accused, pointing a finger at his father.

"Believe what you wish, child." Hephaestus said. "What I speak of is the truth."

Anteros opened his mouth, ready to accuse his father of lying once more, when his brown hair flopped down before his eyes and he realized how weak he truly felt. The room spun and he put a hand to his forehead, "Mom…I don't feel so good…"

Aphrodite turned, in time to see her son begin to faint. "Anteros!" She reached out quickly, catching her son in cupped hands.

Anteros lay on his back on his mother's fingers, panting softly. He raised a hand and watched as it began to shrivel up. No…No, please…No love, no God of Love and, soon, no God of Requited Love. Anteros sighed and his chest began to sting. _Please…help me…_

"_It'll be over soon."_

Anteros looked up. Cupid stood over him, arms crossed. His brother's body was translucent. "C…Cupid…?"

"_Well, duh. Who else would it be? Santa Claus?"_

Anteros let out a weak chuckle. "How? You're…supposed to be dead…? Is this a gift from Anti-Hades?"

"_Pfft. I dunno. He seems like the kind of guy that would do that, though, right? Hades is such a jerk, he's probably laughing it up in the Underworld. I bet he's celebrating about how he's finally got us."_

"Yeah…Probably…Maybe this is a…a twin thing…"

"_Maybe. Remember when we used to do that freaky thing? Talking at the same time?"_

"Still do it sometimes." They said in unison, then let out light chuckles.

Anteros cringed, "Hurts so bad…"

"_Yeah, well. I had coffee to keep me going."_

"Al…is so miserable without you…"

Cupid looked over at the TV screens, then his brow furrowed, _"Juan…"_

"Anteros?" Aphrodite spoke up, "Who're you talking to?…Is Hades here?"

Cupid looked to her, _"No, Mommy. It's me, Cupid. I'm here."_

Hephaestus spoke up, without turning, "Hades…if you are here…get the _heck _away from _my child!"_

Cupid jogged over to him and stood beside him, looking up at his father's face. _"Daddy, it's me, Cupid. Can you see me? Hades did this once. When Timmy wished away love, Hades came to see me. 'Special delivery' or something. I was the only one who could see him. He wanted to collect my soul himself. Dad…?" _Cupid reached out and tried to tug on his father's trouser leg, but his hand went right through his father's ankle. Hephaestus suddenly looked down, straight at him. Cupid stared back. Hephaestus blinked several times, clearing the tears from his eyes. The God then looked back to the smashed glass of the TV screen, as though he was trying to ignore the thing beside his foot.

Anteros coughed. Suddenly, all the guilt washed over him. When he wasn't being a supportive big brother, Anteros was either ignoring or bullying his little brother. He would give him wedgies (whether he was wearing a diaper or not), noogie him, mock his girly behaviour, call him a 'Mommy's Boy' or simply say something that angered his brother. They would fight - verbally or physically - and would always end up getting punished somehow. Anteros would purposely embarrass Cupid in front of new lovers, as well. Why did he do it, though? Why did he get such satisfaction from it? Why would that satisfaction suddenly melt into guilt if his brother ever began to cry and run to Hephaestus or Aphrodite in tears (of course, that had stopped since their teenage years)? For God's sake, he changed his hair colour just to mock Cupid in mirrors!

Anteros looked up as Cupid wandered over, "Hey…baby brother…"

"_Hm?" _

"…Why is it…raining in here…?"

Cupid raised an eyebrow, then looked up at the ceiling. There was no water dripping from the ceiling, nothing. He looked back to his big brother and sighed softly when he saw the droplets dripping down his sibling's cheeks. He did the only thing _he _could do in such a situation - he played along, _"I dunno…Maybe Dad invented some sort of new machine to…to make it rain indoors…"_

"Yeah, maybe." Anteros whimpered. "It's so cold…"

"Anteros, don't you dare…Don't you dare leave us too…" Aphrodite muttered.

"I guess this is one bad thing about being twins, huh, baby bro? There's always some way that we're…communicating…is that the word?"

"_I get what you mean." _Cupid chuckled lightly, _"It's all Dad's fault Mom had twins._"

Anteros chuckled at the family joke, "Yeah…but having babies…is a team effort…" He muttered, quoting their father.

"_There's no third child though…"_

"Because the factory's officially closed." They said in unison, quoting their mother and ending the joke. They chuckled lightly, the best they could.

"Does the rain know how to stop? It…It won't stop…" Anteros muttered as new droplets ran down his cheeks.

"_Not today, it doesn't."_

Anteros looked up at his brother, eyes half-open and pupils full. "Hey…baby brother…?"

"_Yeah?"_

"I…really wanted Alejandro as my brother-in-law…"

"…_That…might've happened…but this stupid kid has wished away love…"_

"I…I think I'm ready…"

"Ready?" Aphrodite muttered, still oblivious to his conversation with her dead son. "What do you mean?"

"_Alright. I'll see you there, then._"

"Hephaestus!" Aphrodite called desperately. "Do something! Hephaestus, get Apollo! Hephaestus! Why're you just standing there?! Hephaestus!"

Hephaestus did nothing because nothing could be done. Apollo wouldn't be able to fix anything. He was no God of Love.

Anteros took one quick breath. The oldest, first and last-surviving child of Hephaestus and Aphrodite grinned as his eyes rolled to the back of his head. He wasn't going to let Hades have the satisfaction of seeing his pain. His legs began to dissolve into brown dust, puddling on the floor. Limb by limb, bone by bone, Anteros's body dissolved like Cupid's had. In the blink of an eye, the God of Requited Love and Punisher of Those who Scorned Love was gone. His brown suit fell into a dull pile in his mother's fingers.

"_Anteros!" _Aphrodite screamed, "_No, Anteros! Come back! Anteros!" _The Goddess of Beauty let out a fresh bout of sobs, cradling her son's remains to herself.

Even while he was dying, Anteros had decided. When he got there - wherever 'there' was - he would tell his brother he was sorry and give him a hug. Not an awkward sibling hug, but a hug. A hug two brothers would share. Two _dead _brothers. Then, the 'children of Vulcan' would walk together - bravely, confidently, side-by-side - into Hades's open arms.

They did just that.

…

**Author's note:**

**What? You didn't think the happy fluff would last, did you?**

**Here's a little insight on my version of Cupid's childhood and his relationship with Anteros. Pfft. And you all thought they didn't care about each other…**

**I am working on a one-shot about Hades visiting Cupid during the 'Turner Incident'. That'll officially introduce Hades to you, as much of an evil git as he is…I still love him so much. **

**This one-shot is inspired by a conversation I had with two friends of mine about how it must be tough being identical twins because, if one dies, then the other will always see their sibling when they look in the mirror.**

**CassyG and unknown20troper, you are correct. That scene was a parody of Scar's debut in the Lion King. Well done.**

**And, unknown20troper, to answer your question:…I don't know. I mean, we've seen anti-fairies and in the game The Fairly Odd Parents: Clash with the Anti-World (which I haven't played), anti-pixies appear. I can only assume that this means that every person has an 'anti' counterpart. If that's true, then there're probably 'anti-genies'. What they do, I have no idea, but the Anti-Norm is probably totally in love with Canada and takes everything really seriously. In my FOP universe, everyone (except, probably, humans) has a counterpart. Anti-Gods (Anti-Cupid, Anti-Hephaestus, Anti-Hades etc.) are my own personal creation. So, in my FOP headcanon, no. No one ends up 'forever alone', as you say.**

**On that note…I bet Anti-Hades is probably the nicest guy ever.**

**Ahem. Uh…the bad news? I'm back at school and repeatedly getting homework, so my writing time…is now limited.**

**The good news?…We've reached one-hundred reviews! Woo hoo! My first story to reach one-hundred reviews! Thanks, guys!**


	29. Recipe

**Of Pink Hair and Spanish Flair**

**I don't own Fairly Odd Parents. Butch Hartman does.**

**WARNING!: This series is about CupidxJuandissimo. Don't like, don't read.**

**Relationship: Lovers.**

**Word: Recipe.**

…

A sweet little tune rang throughout Cupid's house and Juandissimo heard it from where he floated, right outside the front doors. The male fairy waited, a smile upon handsome lips, and stared at the heart-shaped doors. When nothing happened, those lips fell into a frown and he pushed the button on the wall again. The tune rang out again, leading to absolute nothingness. Juandissimo tilted his head in confusion. Usually, by now, the doors would open and Cupid would greet him with open arms (quite literally). Where was Cupid? Where were the hugs and kisses? The Spaniard pursed his lips and pushed the button again.

"Would you quit pushing that dang button?"

Juandissimo jumped in surprise and looked over at the heart-shaped window nearby. A cherub was poking his head (or, at least, Juandissimo was pretty sure the cherub was male) out of the open window and frowning at the fairy. The little cherub had a head of red hair and dark pink eyes that bore into Juandissimo's soul, "I've got that stupid jingle stuck in my head. The last time we let Apollo pick the doorbell jingle…"

"Uh…" Juandissimo muttered awkwardly. "But…I came to see Cupido…"

"The boss doesn't want to be disturbed."

"Why not? Is he in a meeting?"

"Nope. He's just upset."

Juandissimo blinked several times, "Upset? Why? Who upset him?"

"No one. He's just…Look, I'm busy with the chores so, ya know, you wanna go in, go in."

One of the doors suddenly opened - almost majestically - and Juandissimo looked back to the little cherub, "Gracias, pequeño querubín."

"Mm-hm." The cherub grumbled. "Just be careful with the boss, ok? He's feeling sensitive today. Oh, and my name isn't 'pequeño querubín' either. It's Monty." Juandissimo raised an eyebrow. "What? It's short for Montgomery."

Juandissimo glanced to the side, then looked back at him in uncomfortable silence, "Well, then…Gracias…Monty."

"Mm-hm."

Juandissimo floated inside, shutting the door behind him. Giving the living room a quick glance, Juandissimo floated over to the stairs. Cupid was upset? What could've possibly upset his amor? No coffee? No caramel? A visit from his Anti-God counterpart? Broken arrows? _Stolen _arrows? The possibilities were endless. But he was also feeling sensitive. Why would he be feeling sensitive? The Spaniard made it to the top of the stairs, then floated to the first door on the left. He knocked on it gently with one fist.

"C-Come in…"

Juandissimo paused slightly. That was certainly Cupid. But he sounded…he sounded…Oh, what was the best way to describe it? The Spanish fairy wondered this as he opened the bedroom door and -

"_ACHOO!"_

…sick. Cupid sounded _sick._

The God sniffled and pulled the blanket up to his chin, frowning at his lover from where he lay on his bed. His face was bright red and Juandissimo could see him shivering from where he floated, "Ugh. I told them to keep _you _out. Monty must be slacking off again…"

Juandissimo floated into the room, looking panicked. "Amor, what is the matter?! Is there a lack of love?" The Spanish fairy zipped over to his lover and began to hurriedly check him over.

Cupid pushed him away with a frown, "I dunno what they call it in Spanish, Juan, but _we _call it _the flu!" _The God threw his head back, then forwards again as he let out a loud sneeze.

Juandissimo cringed as Cupid flopped back down onto his mattress, eyes half-lidded and hair flopped down into a style no different then Cosmo's. "You look _awful."_

Cupid scowled, "Gee. _Thanks._" He picked up a tissue from the box beside him and blew his nose into it, then looked at the contents and cringed, "Ick." He balled up the tissue and threw it across the room. "Oh, poop. This is the worst day ever…"

Juandissimo's brow furrowed, "You were fine the last time I saw you…"

"Yeah, well, things change…" Cupid put an arm over his eyes, "This is horrible! I'm supposed to be trying out Dad's new arrows today and instead I'm stuck here making Rainbow Snot Mountain!"

"…What?"

Cupid pointed over at the mountain of balled-up tissues and Juandissimo cringed. Each stain of snot on the tissues was coloured differently. Different shades of blue, purple, red, yellow, green, orange and pink were like ink blots on the pile of tissues, like someone had gotten different-coloured pens and stabbed the tissues multiple times. Juandissimo looked to Cupid, "Your _moco _changes colours?"

"Only when I'm sick…" Cupid muttered.

Juandissimo remembered Cupid's words earlier, "Why did you not want me here?"

"Oh, I know what you're like. I don't wanna be fussed over right now…"

"Well, what could be better then having your dear amor by your side?" Juandissimo asked, grinning at him. He floated closer, "Isn't there anything I could do for you, my darling? Anything at all?"

"Well…there is _one thing _I can think of…"

"Si? And what is that, my angel?"

Suddenly, an empty box bounced off of his forehead as it was thrown at him. Juandissimo blinked several times to clear his head and stepped back, subconsciously catching the box in both hands. "Get me more tissues." Cupid said.

Juandissimo looked down at the empty box, "Eh…right…" With a quick wave of his wand, Juandissimo disappeared in a puff of purple smoke.

…

When he reappeared in the living room, one of the cherubs - this one with blonde hair and purple eyes - regarded him with a know-it-all expression, "By the look on your face, I can only guess you just discovered God snot changes colour every sneeze." Juandissimo nodded. The cherub sighed, "Disgusting, isn't it? I don't even wanna tell you about when Lord Hephaestus had a cold. That was…messy."

Juandissimo cringed at the thought. The cherub looked him up-and-down, "Look, we can take it from here. You're free to go." The cherub went to take the box, but Juandissimo held it to himself, almost protectively.

"Not while mi amor is sick." The Spaniard said. "I will be here to take care of him."

"Well, that's sweet, but you weren't hired by Lord Hephaestus and Lady Aphrodite, were you?"

"No…"

"We were."

"But Señor Hephaestus has given me the ok to be with him."

"And has Lady Aphrodite?"

Juandissimo's eyes became half-lidded, "I think the better question is: _would she?_"

"Point taken." The cherub said. "Look, alright, fine. You wanna help? Cool. Tissues are in the cupboard in the bathroom."

"Ah, gracias." Juandissimo poofed out of the room.

The cherub sighed as Monty floated over. "This is why it's annoying when the boss gets a new 'companion'."

Monty shrugged, "Can't be helped, Carl. The guy just wants to help."

Carl frowned, "Well, he can start by backing off. Now, uh, do you wanna clean the toilets or shall I?"

Monty's eyes became half-lidded, "You're really asking a guy that?"

"…Right." Carl poofed away, ready to face the hell that was cleaning the toilets.

…

Juandissimo reappeared in Cupid's room, a fresh box of tissues in his hands. "Here, you are, amor! A new box of -"

"Would you quieten down?" Cupid snapped, a hot water bottle balanced on his forehead. "I have a headache…"

"Oh." Juandissimo floated over, placing the box on the bedside table. "Lo siento, my darling."

Cupid snatched a tissue from the box and sneezed into it and Juandissimo cringed when he saw a splotch of green on the tissue. Cupid groaned. "I hate Apollo. 'God of Healing'. Pah! Wouldn't even come down here to heal my flu…That jerk." The God coughed pathetically, then sighed.

Juandissimo tapped the tips of his fingers together, approaching his lover slowly, "Is there anything else I can do for you, my sweet? Make you some coffee? Give you a massage, perhaps? Anything?"

"Unless you have something that'll heal this flu, then no, there's nothing you can do." Juandissimo thought about it, then smiled and held up his wand, but Cupid stopped him, "I already tried that. Against Da Rules or…something…" The God grabbed a tissue and let out a harsh sneeze, splattering it with dark blue mucus. He cringed and threw the tissue over with the others.

"There must be _something _I can do, mi amor." Juandissimo said. "I hate doing nothing but watch you suffer. Are you sure I cannot get you any coffee?"

"Juan, I can't stomach anything right now. Not coffee or soup or anything."

Juandissimo opened his mouth to say something, then stopped and pondered. Suddenly, the Spaniard grinned, index finger shooting in the air, and exclaimed, "Mi amor, you're a genius!"

Cupid cringed and massaged his own temples, "What? Why?"

"I will explain later! Right now, I need to see my mother!"

"Your mom?"

Juandissimo poofed away without another word.

…

About an hour and a half later, Carl and Monty were chatting in the living room when Cupid's boyfriend poofed into the room, bags clutched in both hands. They stared at the fairy, then Carl raised an eyebrow, "…Whatcha doin'?"

"Been shopping?" Monty asked.

"No." Juandissimo replied. "I got these things from _mi madre."_

"…From who?"

"My mother." Juandissimo clarified.

"And why did you get…vegetables from your mom?"

"Because, mi amigos, I know how to cure Cupido's flu."

Monty raised an eyebrow as he peeked into the bag, "Really?"

"Mm-hm."

Carl put his hands to his hips, "No offence, Purple Eyes, but…how exactly do vegetables cure the boss? Cupid runs on sugar. Do you _really _wanna know how long it took to get him to eat his vegetables when he was younger? _Do you?"_

"Not really."

"Well, it took a long time. And it _will _take a long time nowadays, even if _it is you _feeding him."

Juandissimo shrugged, "Just trust me, my diapered amigo. I know what I'm doing. Besides, it is not like you've tried to give him any medicine."

Carl frowned, "Dude, we're cherubs, not doctors."

"And what are you doing?" Monty asked as he looked up at the Spanish man.

Juandissimo reached into one of the bags and brought out a flat, disc-shaped…thing. Carl and Monty tilted their heads in confusion as Juandissimo brought it up to his lips and blew into it and the chef's hat popped up to full height. The fairy placed it on top of his head, "I'm going to make Cupido some sopa."

Carl and Monty looked at each other in confusion as the fairy floated into the kitchen. Carl suddenly looked panicky, "It's code red, Monty! Purple Eyes is…is…in the kitchen!"

Monty sighed and began to float away, "I'll go call Lord Hephaestus…tell him to make some more utensils…Purple Eyes will probably melt them, like he did the last ones…"

Carl sighed and followed him, "Why can't the boss get a boyfriend with _good _cooking skills?"

"Eh. You know what they say: if the face is pretty, the cooking doesn't have to be."

…

"…Cupido…Cupid, my sweet…wake up…Mi amor…"

Cupid felt someone gently jab his arm and he grumbled as he slowly opened his eyes. His blue eyes sought out Juandissimo, who was leaning toward him; trying to observe his face. "What do you want?"

"For you to smile at me?" When the God continued to frown, Juandissimo shrugged, "I have something for you, my angel."

"Hm?"

"You told me to get you something that will cure your flu, si?"

"Yeah…"

"Well, I have that something!" Juandissimo out the bowl.

Cupid peeked inside, then immediately cringed. Inside, was some sort of gloomy, dark green liquid with chunks of…something swimming around. Cupid leaned back, "Uh…no, thanks. I'm not hungry."

"Unlike all the other meals I have made for you, my darling," Juandissimo said, "_this _is _supposed _to look that way."

"Really?…Looks like you added food colouring to vomit…"

Juandissimo frowned, "Well, it is better then your Rainbow Snot Mountain."

Cupid frowned back, looked as though he wanted to say something, but suddenly paused, "Ah…Ah…" Throwing his head back, he let out a loud, _"ACHOO!". _Indigo-coloured snot shot out of his nose and splattered the front of Juandissimo's shirt. Both men paused and stared at the stain. Juandissimo looked as though he wanted to be sick and continuously gulped. Probably swallowing his own vomit. Cupid spoke up, "Juan, I -"

"No, it's alright. Wasn't - ah - wasn't fond of this shirt anyway…" Juandissimo muttered, chuckling nervously to try and cover up the awkwardness and the fact that that was his favourite shirt. He held up his wand and the soiled shirt was replaced with a new one. Oh, well. Would've ripped that shirt off sometime… "Do you, uh, want your soup now?"

Cupid gulped and took the bowl from him, staring down at the 'soup'. "Uh…"

"Come on, my sweet," Juandissimo said, "I made this especially for you. Mama used to make it for my siblings and I when we got sick. Worked like a charm."

Cupid cringed as he scooped some up in his spoon and let it trickle back into the bowl. "…You sure?"

"Positive. Now, bottoms up."

Cupid gulped and looked at Juandissimo. The Spanish fairy looked so hopeful…Oh, Zeus, help him…Cupid - shutting his eyes and trembling slightly - put the spoon into his mouth. The soup trickled down his throat and Cupid immediately gagged at the vile, bitter taste. Juandissimo suddenly put a hand to his jaw, keeping his mouth closed, "Keep it inside yourself, amor. Just to let you know, it is supposed to taste like that."

Cupid forced himself to swallow it, then he let his tongue hang out, "That was gross…no offence."

Juandissimo shrugged. "It is muy malo, but it helps." He smiled, "My mother's secret recipe. Now, finish your soup."

"What? All of it?"

"Si. Want to get better, don't you?"

Cupid cringed, "What is _in this _anyway?"

Juandissimo paused and stared, "Uh…Oh, just the usual stuff…"

"Like?"

"…Stuff."

"_Juan_."

"I will tell you after you finish."

"And why then?"

"Because you will throw it back up if I tell you now." Juandissimo took the spoon and scooped up some soup, then held it out for him, "Come on. Every drop."

Cupid frowned at him, "You're loving this."

"Consider it revenge for sneezing on me."

"Jerk."

"Te amo."

"Shut up." The God said, just before swallowing the spoonful of soup and gagging. A couple of spoonfuls later, Cupid looked down at himself, "You know…I actually feel better."

Juandissimo grinned, "Ah, see. I told you it would cure you. Mama's recipe never fails."

Cupid smiled at him, "Thanks, Juan."

"Anything to get you to smile again." Juandissimo replied as he fed him more soup. Pfft. 'Anything' indeed. After returning to his family's home, he had to put up with his mother fussing over him and getting excited that her 'hijo tercero más joven ha llegado a casa!' and then he had to go through the awkward greetings with his father. Not to mention his siblings fussing over him as well. Honestly, he only went there to get a recipe and some ingredients!

Cupid was relieved when he heard the scraping of stainless steel against the bottom of the bowl. Oh, thank Zeus that stuff was finally finished! Cupid poked out his tongue as Juandissimo put the empty bowl on the bedside table. "See? Wasn't so bad."

"Says you." Cupid muttered. "Alright, I finished your stupid soup. What was in it?"

"Oh, you know," Juandissimo counted the things off on his fingers, "Ten different types of vegetables -"

"Ew."

"Chopped liver -"

"Ew!"

"Bits of insides from fish -"

"Ok, I've heard enough!" Cupid exclaimed.

"Despite what I've just told you," Juandissimo said, "Mi madre is a very good cook."

"Doesn't run in the family then."

"I told you, it is supposed to taste that way."

"I wasn't talking about the soup."

Juandissimo moved towards the door, "Well, I will let you rest, my darling."

Cupid stopped him, "Wait, Juan."

Juandissimo turned back, "Hm? Something wrong, my sweet? Is there something else I can do for you? Get you another blanket? Some coffee? Water? Another hot water bottle?"

"There is _one thing _you can do for me." Juandissimo braced himself for another tissue box attack. Cupid waved him over, "Just stay. I'm getting bored up here on my own."

Juandissimo smiled and floated over. To Cupid's alarm, Juandissimo told him to scooch over then lifted the blankets and climbed in. Cupid raised an eyebrow, "What're you doing? I just said stay."

"I am." Juandissimo wrapped an arm around his shoulders and went to pull him to his chest, but Cupid stopped him.

"I'll get you sick." The God said, trying to pull himself out of Juandissimo's grasp.

Juandissimo shrugged, uncaring, "Worth it."

Cupid's face deepened into a fine red - and not because of the flu. He let Juandissimo pull him to his torso. "Thanks, Juan."

"For what?"

"You know…the soup." The God leaned up for a kiss but, as he shut his eyes, he failed to notice Juandissimo reach over Cupid's shoulder, take something from the table beside the bed, and put it into Cupid's hair. Cupid paused and opened his eyes, staring confusedly. Not only because Juandissimo didn't want a kiss (although, considering he was sick, it was pretty understandable), but because his hair was no longer flopped down.

"Lo siento," Juandissimo said, "but you looked like a pink-haired Cosmo and that made me feel awkward."

"Oh." Cupid reached up and touched the curler Juandissimo had rolled into his hair to get it back to its usual curl. Then he just smiled, settled for kissing the Spanish fairy on the cheek and rested his head on Juandissimo's chest, snuggling into him.

Juandissimo toyed with a strand of Cupid's hair, "Try to rest, mi amor."

Cupid yawned and hugged his lover with one arm, "Mm-hm…I'll have to thank your mom when I meet her…"

What Cupid failed to notice was Juandissimo's sudden and worried expression. The fairy chewed his lip, "Right…when you meet her…"

The God yawned again and let his eye lids drop. Cupid was asleep in no time, snuggled happily into his boyfriend's torso and dreaming of, well, anything better then that soup.

Oh, Juandissimo was _so _gonna catch that flu.

…

**Author's note:**

**There's an illness called the Spanish flu. Despite the fact that it killed many people, I couldn't help but chuckle because, come on, **_**Spanish flu. **_**I swear, the fates know that I'm writing this one-shot series.**

**Ok, some of you are asking if the Broken series (let's just call it that) has a happy ending. The answer is:…maybe, maybe not. You'll have to wait until the antis 100 theme challenge to find out. **

**And, unknown20troper, I think only 'magical' species have anti counterparts. At least, that's what it's like in my FOP headcanon. And, if it's ok with you, I would rather put responses in the author's notes, just in case other readers are thinking the same thing. **

**By the way, I'll be impressed (once more) if anyone can guess where Carl and Monty's names came from. **


	30. Screen

**Of Pink Hair and Spanish Flair**

**I don't own Fairly Odd Parents. Butch Hartman does.**

**I do, however, own this version of Anteros.**

**WARNING!: This series is about CupidxJuandissimo. Don't like, don't read.**

**Relationship: Lovers.**

**Word: Screen.**

…

"And now, here's the host of the Fairy Dating Game! _Cupid!" _

With a puff of pink smoke, the pink-haired God of Love poofed onto the stage, a bright, cheesy smile on his face, "Hi, there! Welcome to the Fairy Dating Game, where fairy godparents find the fairies of their fairy dreams!"

Juandissimo smirked lightly as he watched his lover act out 'stereotypical TV show host'. The Spanish fairy sat on a director's chair beside a camera, having finally taken up Cupid's offer to view his work. He was glad Cupid had picked the TV show rather then the meetings he had to attend. Watching his lover talk to some cherubs and fill out paperwork wasn't what Juandissimo had in mind.

It was funny to see Cupid so…over exaggeratingly happy. Juandissimo glanced at the audience, where a group of girls sat with a banner that read 'WE LUV U, CUPID'. He honestly didn't know how to feel about that. He supposed he felt a little confused, not exactly angry. Why should he be angry? Those girls only saw 'TV show host Cupid'. _He _saw the _real _Cupid.

Two completely different people, really.

This Cupid was _always _chipper and happy and had some stupid grin on his face. _Juandissimo's _Cupid only smiled and grinned when he felt _real _happiness, not the fake happiness that he forced into himself. He certainly didn't grin _all _the time. Only when he sat down with some coffee and caramel. Or, you know, when Juandissimo gave him gifts and whatnot. Here, the only gifts Cupid received were from his fans.

There was another thing Juandissimo was slightly confused about.

Anywhere else, Juandissimo was the one getting attention from girls. Women would leave Cupid on the sidelines if Juandissimo was near. Here, however, _Juandissimo _was the one on the sidelines. He didn't particularly understand why, though. Was he any different here? No! Of course not! He was still his sexy self! And yet the girls took more interest in the girly, pink-haired, diaper-wearing God who obviously preferred the same gender rather then the opposite one. Not that he was saying Cupid was unattractive. _He _was dating Cupid after all!

Still, those girls were attracted to the 'TV show host Cupid'. Pfft. They would never know the Cupid off-screen. Not like Juandissimo did.

A loud buzz shook Juandissimo from his thoughts. Cupid suddenly looked apologetic, "Oh! Oh, I'm sorry, you're all out of time!" He suddenly grinned again, "But we'll be back with the final question after _this commercial break!" _Another buzz sounded out - signalling that they were now off-air - and Cupid frowned. He floated over to Juandissimo, slouching, "Ugh. You have _no idea _how _hard _it is smiling all the time!" He patted either side of his own face, "It hurts…"

Juandissimo smiled at him, "Well, it makes your fans happy." The fairy looked over his shoulder at the group of girls, who were now glaring at him. He raised an eyebrow, looking at them out of the corner of his eye as he turned back to Cupid, "I think those girls are plotting my demise…"

Cupid shrugged, "Probably."

"They all ignore me here."

"Well, duh. They _hate you _here."

Juandissimo blinked and looked at his lover in confusion, "What?"

Cupid put his hands to his hips, "Well, Juan, this is _my territory. _Anywhere else, you're the sexy, Spanish guy who melts everyone's hearts. _Here, _you're just 'the guy who stole Cupid away from his fans'. Not that they had a chance with me anyway…"

"Oh." Juandissimo muttered. The Spanish fairy looked back over at the girls. They were still sending him glares, apparently not even taking into account who he was.

Juandissimo looked back at Cupid, who was busy ranting, "My wings are killing me. Ya know, I should've listened to Dad when I told him I wanted my own TV show. He said 'don't get involved in the media, son. It'll kill you someday'. I mean, Anteros has his own TV show too, so I guess neither of us listened to Dad, but _still. _And - are you even listening to me?"

Juandissimo blinked, clearing his head, "Hm?"

"You weren't listening." Cupid frowned. Juandissimo smiled at him, silencing a chuckle, which didn't go unnoticed by the God, "What're you laughing at?"

Juandissimo smirked and gestured for him to come closer with a curl of his finger, "Come here."

Cupid tilted his head and floated closer, only for Juandissimo to grab his wrist and pull him into his lap; immediately pressing a kiss to the God's lips. Well, it was a nice way of telling him to shut up. Cupid shut his eyes and gladly returned the kiss.

Hm-mm. Those girls definitely didn't know what Cupid was like off-screen. They were too in love with on-screen Cupid to have any idea of what off-screen Cupid was like. Pfft. Yeah, like Cupid grinned all the bloody time. Of course he did.

Not.

Juandissimo knew of the death glares he was receiving from jealous fangirls and - to be brutally honest - he didn't give a snot. Right now, he was kissing off-screen Cupid. The Spanish fairy kept one hand on the back of Cupid's head, fingers buried in his hair, and the other hand holding Cupid's wrist. Juandissimo ran his tongue across Cupid's bottom lip, requesting entry, and Cupid made a small noise of approval in the back of his throat as his hands went to Juandissimo's shoulders; grabbing his shirt in both fists. Juandissimo raised his newly free hand to join the hand on the back of Cupid's head, burying the rest of his fingers in the God's hair. Cupid made another small noise of content. Juandissimo was about to remove his lips from Cupid's and put them to his neck when -

"Uh…sir?"

Cupid's eyes flew open and he quickly looked over his shoulder, "Hm? What?"

One of the workers on the show gestured to the stage with his thumb, obviously tying to ignore the fact that his boss was currently sitting in his boyfriend's lap while making out in front of very jealous girls, "Uh…you're on soon…"

Cupid sighed irritably and looked away, "Ugh. _Fine._" The worker floated away and Cupid floated off of Juandissimo's lap, beginning to smooth his hair with his hands, "How do I look?"

Juandissimo smirked, "As sexy as you always look."

Cupid frowned at him, "I mean it. Does it look like I've just made out with my boyfriend or not?" Juandissimo shrugged and Cupid huffed, "See, this is why I tell people not to touch my hair."

Juandissimo was about to respond, when he caught the sight of one of the contestants over Cupid's shoulder. He watched as they took Cupid's bow and one of the love arrows from the stand, "Uh…Cupido…"

"No, I mean it, Juan." Cupid continued, oblivious to the fact that the contestant was getting ready to fire the arrow; apparently having gotten impatient with waiting for true love…or the commercial break to end. Whatever came first. "You knew I was going back on that stage, on _TV. _And now my hair's messed up!"

"…Cupido…" Juandissimo muttered, watching as the contestant attempted to fire the arrow at their desired fairy, but missed. The arrow bounced off of one of the chairs, off one of the walls…

"And now I don't even have time to fix it!"

"Cupido…"

"My point is - Mmh!" Cupid immediately stopped as the arrow pinged into his backside. Love hearts swarmed in Cupid's eyes as he stared straight ahead.

Right at Juandissimo.

"You know, Juandissimo, there _is _something I love more then my looks…" He suddenly grinned as his eyes became pink love hearts, "_YOU!" _

Juandissimo's brow furrowed, "And you didn't love me before?" Before he could even blink, Cupid pounced on him, knocking him - and the chair - to the ground. The God immediately began smothering Juandissimo's face with kisses, encasing him in a bone-crushing hug. Juandissimo blinked a few times, before smirking, "This, I could _live with._"

Juandissimo managed to pull himself from Cupid's grasp. He held out his hands in a calming gesture, "Uno momento, por favor…" He zipped over to the worker who had informed them of the approaching end of the commercial break, "Uh…I don't think Cupido can finish this episode…"

"And why n -" The worker stopped and looked over at his boss. "…Oh."

"But, have no fear," Juandissimo announced, holding up his wand, "I have the perfect substitute!" One wave of his wand later and another, brown-haired Cupid was in the room.

"But, Dad!" Anteros exclaimed, obviously not aware of his change in surroundings, "I don't wanna help you clean your workshop! There's _SPIDERS IN THERE!_" When he got no reply, Anteros looked around, "Wait…this isn't Mom and Dad's house…" He turned and spotted his maybe-future brother-in-law, "Oh, hey, Alejandro!" He delivered a swift punch to Juandissimo's bicep, "'Sup, man?"

"Anteros," Juandissimo said, "You are going to be Cupid for a couple of hours."

The smile fell from Anteros's face, "…Really? This is starting to sound like the time Dad wanted to bond with Brother, but baby bro didn't want to, so we traded places for the day…Not that Dad ever found out about that…" Anteros rubbed the back of his neck. "Besides, what's wrong with baby bro?"

Juandissimo pointed over at Cupid, who sat on the floor, pulling the petals off of roses he had received from fans, "I love him more, I love him more!" He took hold of one of the roses and pulled it apart, after finishing off its petals, "_I love him MORE!"_

Anteros tilted his head, "Oh…Oh, wow…You know, Dad's getting real tired of making anti-love arrows for baby bro…even if they are technically plungers…"

"Well," Juandissimo said, "it is either this or cleaning arañas out of your father's workshop…Your choice."

Anteros looked at him, then looked at the stage, then back to Juandissimo. The God of Requited Love whipped his wand out of his pocket and waved it once. Suddenly, his suit and hair turned pink and his trousers were replaced by a diaper. "Alejandro, I'm your Cupid!" Anteros paused, "Oh, wait." He cleared his throat and suddenly spoke in his brother's voice, "Alejandro, I'm your _Cupid_!"

Juandissimo blinked, "…This is very awkward for me."

"Reminds you of when we first met, right?" Anteros said.

"Please stop talking in his voice…"

Anteros shrugged, "I'm practicing." He clasped his hands together, "Oh, I'm Cupid and I'm such a _Mommy's Boy! _I get whatever I want just because I call my father 'Daddy' and use puppy-dog eyes! Oh, I'm _fabulous! Just look at my pink hair, which neither of my parents SEEM TO HAVE!" _Juandissimo tilted his head in confusion. Anteros looked at him and frowned, "What? Got a lot o' pent-up anger."

"Uh…Right." Juandissimo muttered, "Just make sure -"

"Oh, _Juandissimo~!"_

Juandissimo looked over as Cupid floated nearby, carrying a box of chocolates and a bouquet of flowers in his hands. Juandissimo smirked, "Coming, my darling!" He smiled at Anteros, "buena suerte."

"Yeah…you too." Anteros muttered as Juandissimo zipped over to Cupid.

The Spanish fairy scooped Cupid into his arms. The God immediately hugged his neck and pressed kisses to his face. Juandissimo grinned, "I could _definitely _live with this…" The two poofed away in a puff of purple smoke.

Hm. Ok. So, there was one more version of Cupid. First there were 'on-screen Cupid' and 'off-screen Cupid'. Now, there were 'on-screen Cupid', 'off-screen Cupid' and 'got-hit-by-his-own-love-arrow Cupid'.

Oh, well. Any of those suited Juandissimo just fine.

…

**Author's note:**

**Damn it, Cupid. This is yet another time you got hit by your own love arrow. You little twit.**

**And for God's sake, guys, don't make out in front of non-CupidxJuandissimo shippers. To quote the Incredibles, "They will kill you if they get the chance. **_**Do not give them that chance.**_**"**

**Hm? What's that? Carl and Monty's names? You're actually interested in knowing? Carl Karl and Monty Monogram are two characters from Phineas and Ferb. The Montgomery thing? Just random…Didn't see that coming, did you?**

**Let's just take a moment to wonder…what kind of show is **_**Anteros **_**hosting…?**

…**To quote Cosmo, "It's a show about nothing!…How do we know when it's over?"**


	31. Swap

**Of Pink Hair and Spanish Flair**

**I don't own Fairly Odd Parents. Butch Hartman does.**

**I do, however, own Katie Katsworth.**

**WARNING!: This series is about CupidxJuandissimo. Don't like, don't read.**

**Relationship: Lovers.**

**Word: Swap.**

…

"What're we doing in Fairy World again?" Timmy Turner asked as he walked down the brightly-coloured streets of Fairy World, his godparents and god brother floating above him.

"I told you, Timmy." His pink-haired godmother replied. "Every few years, there's the Fairy Godparent Swap. A godchild swaps one godparent with another godchild for an entire day."

"What's the point of that?"

"It's just to see how some fairies get along with some godchildren. We don't get along with everybody, you know." Wanda explained. "A test, of sorts."

"Yeah," Cosmo cut in. "Sometimes the god kids we get are real jerks! But others are really nice - like you, Timmy!"

Poof shook his rattle happily, emitting a "Poof, poof!" as he did so. Although he couldn't speak English, they could tell he was agreeing with his father.

Timmy smiled. "Thanks, Cosmo." Then he sighed and approached the square-shaped building his fairies were leading him to. Above the building was a large, neon sign; the words 'FAIRY GODPARENT SWAP' flashing every few seconds. Timmy pushed open the pink, double doors to the place. "Might as well get this over with."

As the family entered the place, noise hit them like a ton of bricks. The place was flooded with kids - all about Timmy's age - with fairies floating above their heads. Which, admittedly, weren't the only things floating above their heads. Timmy looked around at the names hovering above them, then looked up as TIMMY TURNER appeared above his own. "What the - ?"

"Name tags are too small." Wanda said. "Every godchild is assigned another godchild. You don't just _pick _which god kid to swap with."

Just as Wanda had finished, a fairy wearing a purple cap floated over and handed Timmy a card. Timmy glanced at the name written down in sparkly ink, then set off to find his assigned god kid.

Despite the fact that everyone had their names floating above their heads, finding his 'partner' was more difficult then he thought - especially since quite a few people in here had the same first name and, with all the names jumbled up (due to the crowds the kids had made), Timmy could barely see the last names. His blue eyes searched the crowds until he came across a certain name floating somewhere in the corner. "There!" He exclaimed triumphantly and jogged toward it. Pushing passed people in the crowd, muttering 'Excuse me' as he went through, he made it to his partner. Taking another look at the name that floated above her head (just to be sure), Timmy approached her. "Hi,"

She turned to him, eyes widened. She looked up at his name. "Hey! You're my partner!"

Timmy nodded. This girl was younger then him, he could tell, and kinda cute - in a teddy bear sort of way. "I'm, uh, -" He paused to chuckle lightly and pointed above him. "Timmy Turner."

The girl giggled and pointed at her own name. "Katie Katsworth." The two shook hands. Their names popped like bubbles, as though they had been checked off a list.

Timmy gestured to his fairies. "This is Cosmo, Wanda and Poof."

Katie smiled up at the three fairies. "I like your hair, Mister Cosmo."

Cosmo grinned at her. "Hey, thanks!"

She turned to Wanda. "And your eyes are really pretty, Mrs. Wanda."

Wanda smiled at her, almost motherly. "Aw, thank you, sweetie."

"So," Timmy said. "Where's your fairy?"

Katie took off her beanie hat and showed them the purple and pink badges that were pinned to the front. "Right here."

The badges disappeared in puffs of smoke. Timmy's mouth fell open as Juandissimo Magnifico and Cupid appeared in front of them. "Hola, Timmy!" Juandissimo exclaimed.

"Juandissimo?" Timmy asked. "When did you get a new god kid?"

"I got Juandissimo a few months ago." Katie said. "Then Mister Cupid came along."

"Cupid?" Timmy questioned. "Since when did you become a godparent?"

Cupid crossed his arms. "Since Juandissimo got assigned to Katie."

Katie smiled at them. "He's my god-godparent."

Timmy raised an eyebrow. Cupid floated down to him and muttered, behind one hand, "I'm really not, but don't tell her that. It'll crush her imagination."

Juandissimo smiled at Wanda. "Wanda! You look -"

"Ahem."

Juandissimo paused and looked at Cupid, who was scribbling on a piece of card. Cupid thrust the piece of card out to him, "Say it."

Juandissimo took it from him, reading it out loud. "'Wanda, you look nice today, but not as nice as my dear amor, Cupid, who is the only person I will ever flirt with - and love - for the rest of my entire life'." His brow furrowed and he took hold of Cupid's hand. Cupid held Juandissimo's hand tightly, smirking triumphantly.

"Now," Cupid said, voice almost _too sweet_. "Let's get to swapping."

Timmy turned to Katie. "Ok, so we gotta swap at least one of our fairies, right?"

Katie looked up at her godparents. "But Mister Cupid's a God. Does that count?"

"I dunno." Timmy replied. "I think Poof's too young to swap."

Poof's brow furrowed and he let out a small and sad, "Poof?"

"Aw," Katie muttered. "That's too bad. He's a really cute baby." She smiled at her godparents. "When're you guys gonna have a baby?"

Everyone froze. Only Katie and Poof didn't understand the intensity of the question. Cupid and Juandissimo looked at one another. An awkward silence hung on them all like a coat on a coat rack, then Juandissimo turned back to Katie and said, "Undecided."

"Wait. What?" Cupid said, looking at Juandissimo confusedly. "Who said we were gonna have one at all?"

"Well, why not?" Katie asked.

Cupid crossed his arms. "Do you even know where kids come from?"

"Well…no."

"And we're not explaining it right now!" Wanda suddenly exclaimed, feeling that the conversation had gone on long enough.

Katie tapped her chin in thought. "Ok…so, I guess we can swap Juandissimo and Mister Cosmo."

Timmy smiled. "Alright then."

Cosmo and Juandissimo held up their wands as the stars began to glow. The two fairies swapped places. Cosmo smiled at the God beside him. "Hi, Cupid!"

Cupid frowned at him. "Hi, Cosmo." He paused and looked at the fairies that now floated above Timmy's head: Wanda, Juandissimo and Poof. They looked like a little family (especially considering Poof had purple eyes)! Juandissimo smiled at Wanda - in _that way _of his - and Cupid felt a pang in his chest. Yeah, right. Like he was going to leave Juandissimo alone with Wanda for an entire day! "Oh, no way." He held up his wand and Cosmo and Wanda swapped places. "There." He crossed his arms, tucking his wand into his pocket. "_Now _we've swapped."

"Uh…Right." Timmy said.

Cosmo looked to Wanda, almost frantically. "B-But!"

Wanda floated over to him and took his hands in hers. "What's the matter, Cosmo?"

"We haven't been apart for an _entire day _before!" Cosmo exclaimed. "Who's gonna remind me to wash behind my ears? Or teach me to use a napkin after I eat?!"

"Oh, Cosmo, don't worry. The day will be over before you know it." Wanda replied soothingly. "Besides, if you're really stuck, Juandissimo, Timmy and Poof will help you."

"I will?" Juandissimo asked.

Poof floated over to his mother and hugged her. "Mama?"

Wanda smiled at her son. "Don't you worry, Poof. Your daddy will still be there for you. Mommy will be back soon, promise."

Juandissimo floated over to Cupid. "Cupid, mi amor, don't tell me you actually felt threatened a second ago." Cupid frowned. Juandissimo smiled and intertwined he and Cupid's fingers. "Ah, Cupid. I will miss you and your insecurities."

"I _do not _have insecurities." Cupid insisted.

"Of course you don't." Juandissimo said.

Cupid huffed, "We just _happened to swap, didn't we?" _He crossed his arms, "I think Jorgen hates us…"

"Well, you did insult him the last time we saw him."

"He had it coming."

Juandissimo felt a tug on his wrist and looked down at Katie, who was pouting at him. "Mi Niña?"

"I'm gonna miss you, Juandissimo." She muttered.

Juandissimo smiled and patted her on the head. "Worry not, mi Niña. For I - and my fabulous muscles -" Cue shirt ripping and Cupid rolling his eyes. " - will return soon enough."

Katie grinned and nodded. Juandissimo poofed back over to Timmy and Wanda appeared beside Cupid, hovering above Katie's head. "Well," Katie said. "I guess that's it."

Timmy smiled at her and gave her a thumbs up, "Good luck."

"You too." Katie replied, flashing a thumbs up to him as well.

Both groups poofed away to their godchildren's houses.

…

"And this is my bed," Katie continued, holding Wanda's hand and leading her to different objects in her room. "I sleep here. Sometimes, Mister Cupid and Juandissimo sleep on the end of my bed." She looked up at Wanda, smiling widely. "Do you like it?"

Wanda smiled warmly. "It's lovely, sweetie."

"Mister Cupid and Juandissimo usually disguise themselves as puppies. What did Timmy get you to disguise as?"

"Goldfish."

Katie looked uncertain. "…Do you still want to be a goldfish? Cause I have a nice bowl you can live in…"

"Oh, it's ok, sweetie." Wanda waved a hand. "Puppy's fine."

Cupid frowned while he watched them. Great. He was stuck with his boyfriend's ex girlfriend for an entire day. Oh, someone, wish away love and _kill him now! _He honestly couldn't tell what Juandissimo saw in her. Shrill-voiced, haircut-stealing, unattractive chocoholic…

"Mister Cupid," Katie's voice broke his thoughts. "It's Wednesday today!" She turned and jogged out of the room excitedly. "Ice cream!"

Wanda floated over to Cupid, "What is she talking about?"

Cupid looked at her, frown still etched into his features. "Oh, just something she, _Juandissimo and I _do together."

Wanda's lips fell as she heard the tone in the God's voice. What was he so upset about? Just because she had dated Juandissimo before him? She never thought of Cupid as the jealous type. Of course, then again, with the way Juandissimo talked about her, it probably wasn't jealousy. Just the 'I'm sick of you 'cause Juandissimo won't shut up about you' feeling. Cupid poofed away and Wanda sighed and followed him.

Downstairs in the kitchen, Katie handed Cupid a carton of coffee ice cream. Wanda watched with curiosity as Katie held up two cartons for her. "Missus Wanda, do you want chocolate or vanilla?"

Wanda smiled widely. "Chocolate!"

Katie handed her the carton and put the vanilla ice cream back into the freezer. "Juandissimo usually has vanilla, so I'll save that for him." She looked up at her godparents - her 'god-godparent' and her temporary fairy godparent - and smiled cutely. Cupid continued frowning at Wanda, especially when she took a huge scoop out of her ice cream and munched on it happily. "Mister Cupid?" Katie asked. "Are you ok? You look sad."

Cupid took another angry glance at Wanda, then looked back at the wall. "_Fine. I'm fine." _

Katie tilted her head in confusion. "Oh. You must miss Juandissimo. It's ok, Mister Cupid. He'll be back soon. He said so."

Wanda glanced at Cupid, who frowned at her again. Oh, gosh, it was going to be a long day tomorrow…

…

When Wanda awoke the next morning, she wasn't greeted by her green husband, nor was she in her own bed. Instead, she was greeted by the sight of a sleeping, bright pink puppy, who was laying on the other side of the dog bed they now occupied. She felt awkward for sleeping in a bed with a man who wasn't her husband, but, on the other hand, she didn't think Cupid particularly cared she was there. Then again, the way he had moved away from her last night…

"Good morning, Missus Wanda."

Wanda looked up at the little girl peering at her. She smiled at her gently, "Good morning, Katie."

Katie looked at Cupid, then poked him experimentally on the back. "Mister Cupid…are you sleeping…?" She whispered.

Cupid scowled, "I _was._"

"Oh. Sorry…"

Cupid grumbled and poofed into his normal form, combing his hair into its proper curl. He looked down at Wanda and scowled. "I was hoping it was a dream…"

Wanda frowned back at him. Katie winced slightly, then looked to Cupid. "He's not a morning person…" As an idea struck her, Katie thrust an index finger into the air. "Missus Wanda, I wish for a latte!"

Wanda held up her wand, activating the wish, and a cup of piping hot coffee appeared in Katie's hands, complete with a little saucer. Katie walked over to Cupid and tugged on his sleeve. "Here ya go, Mister Cupid."

Cupid looked down at her, then snatched the coffee from her. "See?" Cupid muttered, glancing at Wanda. "The _seven-year-old _does things right…"

Wanda's frown deepened. God or not, she was _not _going to allow Cupid talk to her like that. She opened her mouth to yell at him, but Katie held up a finger. Cupid took a sip of his coffee and everything went silent. He blinked and looked at them, "What was I talking about?"

Katie thought for something to say, "Uh…How much you love Juandissimo?"

Cupid blinked in confusion, trying to remember such dialogue. Wanda watched, slightly shocked at Cupid's sudden change in attitude. So _that _was why he needed his coffee. Go figure.

…

Timmy Turner peered into the goldfish bowl, checking to see if his godparents were awake. Timmy hadn't even known there was such a thing as a 'Fairy Godparent Swap'. Who even came up with that? Who would even think that children would want to swap their fairies - the things that had basically taken the places of their parents? That, and didn't this swap basically give away who had fairy godparents? It would be the 'Remy incident' all over again if someone decided they didn't like their partner!

For a moment, Timmy wondered why Katie had obtained Juandissimo. Neglectful parents? Mean older sibling? Perhaps she was poor. He didn't know. He didn't know the kind of lifestyle she led.

Suddenly, Cosmo, Juandissimo and Poof burst out of the fishbowl; all now in their fairy forms. "Hola, Timmy." Juandissimo greeted.

"Oh." Timmy muttered. "Ya know, I actually kinda forgot you were here."

Juandissimo raised an eyebrow. "You say that like it is a bad thing."

Timmy shrugged. Cosmo floated down to him, "So, what's on the wish list today, sport?"

Timmy frowned and took a text book from his backpack, which hung on the bedpost. "Mr. Crocker gave me this stupid report to do on the jungle."

"Cool!" Cosmo exclaimed. "We can _totally _help you with that!"

Juandissimo glanced at Cosmo, eyebrow raised. Was he completely forgetting about their feud?

Timmy smiled, "You're right, Cosmo! All we have to do is go to an actual jungle and I can do my report there!"

Poof clapped his hands in delight at the idea. Cosmo continued, "_Or _we could just bring the jungle to _us!_"

Juandissimo held up an index finger, "Eh, uno momento, por favor." The three males looked at him. "Lo siento for being the, eh, 'party pooper' here." He used his fingers as quotation marks. "But doesn't that seem a bit…no lo sé…dangerous?"

Timmy stared, then frowned, "Oh, of course _you'd say that._" Juandissimo raised an eyebrow. "_You've _got a little girl as a god kid _and _you've got Cupid! You're probably too used to poofing up dolls and frilly princesses." Timmy tried to hide his smirk. Little git was trying to get Juandissimo annoyed…

…It was working. Juandissimo put his hands to his hips. "And what, exactly, do you mean by that?"

"I _mean_ you're way too used to granting frilly, girly wishes instead of _normal, manly _wishes!" Timmy said. He knew he was really pushing it, but anything to get Juandissimo to grant his wish and stop trying to ruin the fun. Who knew he could be like this? "_Cosmo's _manlier then you!"

Oh, now wasn't _that _just a kick below the belt?!

Juandissimo scowled, "We shall see about _that, _little monkey!" He held up his wand in preparation. "Wish."

"I wish my whole room was a _jungle!" _Timmy exclaimed.

Juandissimo and Cosmo raised their wands. As the stars began to glow, Cosmo looked at Juandissimo in shock, "Juandissimo? When did _you _get here?!"

Juandissimo sighed and slapped a palm against his forehead. He was missing Katie and Cupid already…

…

As the four travelled through the foliage, Timmy noted several things down on his notebook. Juandissimo frowned at Cosmo, who was sobbing, "I miss _WANDA!"_

Juandissimo sighed. Yes, alright, he missed Cupid, but he wasn't crying about it. He stuck his hands over his ears, trying to block out Cosmo's sobbing.

Timmy frowned at Cosmo, "Cosmo, focus. You might attract wild animals!"

Cosmo suddenly brightened, "Ya mean, I'm attractive? Thanks, Timmy! I think I'm attractive too! And Wanda does t -" Cosmo paused, then the tears flowed. "_WANDA!"_

"_Cosmo!" _Timmy and Juandissimo exclaimed in unison, just as they heard a loud growl from not far away. The four gulped and turned, seeing several pairs of hungry eyes staring at them, then screamed and zipped off into a different direction.

So far, this was the worst Fairy Godparent Swap Juandissimo had ever experienced.

…

Wanda watched as Cupid pushed Katie toward the bathroom door, telling her it was time to take her bath. Katie was pouting, grumbling to herself, but obeyed nonetheless. The other pink-haired magical creature in Juandissimo's life had never seen Cupid's…parental side. Who knew he actually had one? Wanda couldn't imagine Cupid with kids. She had always thought that he would find them…annoying, to put it lightly.

As Cupid turned back to Wanda, he frowned and closed his eyes, turning his head away with a little "Hmph." The God floated over to Katie's bed and sat down, back facing Wanda.

Wanda sighed. If she was going to spend an entire day with this man, she might as well try and get him to, at least, talk to her. She floated over to Cupid, hovering above him slightly, and shrugged. "C'mon, Cupid. I know we've had our differences - mainly due to Juandissimo - but we could at least _try _to get along. After all, _you're _the one who wanted Juandissimo and I to swap in the first place."

"Pfft." Cupid scoffed. "I only did that to get you _away _from _my _boyfriend."

Wanda rolled her eyes, "I'm not interested in Juandissimo anymore. _You _of all people should know that."

Cupid huffed and said nothing more. Wanda rolled her eyes and floated away. Fine. If Cupid didn't want to be friendly to her, like she was trying to be with him, then why should she bother?

"Uh…"

Wanda paused and looked back over at Cupid. He was looking over his shoulder, almost tentatively, "…How long into your relationship did Juan introduce you to his parents…?"

Wanda raised an eyebrow, "Shouldn't you know that?"

Cupid scoffed, "I'm the God of Love, not a _stalker._"

"…About a month. Why?"

Cupid looked away, looking rather upset, "…That ship hasn't sailed for us yet…"

Wanda's face fell. Juandissimo hadn't introduced Cupid to his parents? But he had seemed so eager when he and Wanda were dating! The Spanish fairy had constantly told her that his parents would love her and he had practically dragged her to his parents' house to meet them and his seven brothers…and his one sister. "Well…maybe he's just nervous…?"

"Oh, right." Cupid looked down at his own crossed arms, "I introduce him to _my _parents - two of the Twelve Olympians - and _he's _nervous about me meeting _his _parents?"

Wanda's brow furrowed. Cupid glanced at the clock and his eyes widened. He flew over to the bathroom door and knocked on it, "Katie. Come on."

A few moments later, the door opened. Katie smiled up at him. Cupid put his hands to his hips, "Time for school, kiddo."

Katie frowned, "I don't wanna go to school."

"Yeah? And I don't wanna go to that meeting tomorrow. But I have to. And _you _have to go to school."

Katie pouted then wandered over and picked up her school bag. She looked up at Wanda, "You can stay here today, Missus Wanda. It'll give you a day off. Mister Cupid can stay here to keep you company."

Wanda smiled at her, "That's very thoughtful of you, sweetie."

Katie smiled at her cutely. Cupid clapped his hands, "Alright, chop-chop." Cupid held up his wand and poofed into a pink puppy. "I'll walk you to the bus stop." The God looked at Wanda, "You stay here. People will wonder why one of her puppies is suddenly pink…and a girl…"

Katie went to walk out of the room, but stopped suddenly and turned back to Wanda. She held out her arms. It took Wanda a moment to realize what she wanted, then the pink-haired fairy floated down and let the seven-year-old hug her. "Bye-bye, Missus Wanda."

Before Wanda could respond, Katie let her go and turned, walking out of the door; Cupid at her heels. The pink-haired fairy stared at the door for a little longer, then flew over to the window and peeked out. Timmy never hugged her before school. Of course, then again, she would usually go with him but, still. Wanda watched as the yellow school bus pulled up and Katie hugged Cupid tightly, then stepped up into the bus. The school bus drove away, the engine loud and roaring, and the God of Love watched it disappear into the distance. Cupid turned and jogged back into the house, kicking the door shut behind him. Wanda waited a few moments, then turned and saw Cupid walk into the room. The puppy kicked the bedroom door shut, then dug his wand out of his fur and waved it once. He poofed back into his normal form and looked at her.

Dear God, a few hours. Just a few hours alone with Cupid.

This was going to be awkward.

…

"I WISH THE JUNGLE WAS _GONE!_"

Two wands and a magic rattle were waved and the jungle was poofed away in a few puffs of smoke. The four males panted in both relief and tiredness, having just run away from several animals that had the intention of turning them into their next meal. Juandissimo pulled a large tooth from his hip, "You see, _this _is why I said not to wish up la selva."

Timmy brushed himself off and frowned at the fairy, "Yeah, ok. I get it." The boy glanced at the digital clock beside the goldfish bowl. "Oh, my gosh! I'm gonna be late for school!" Timmy grabbed his bag and slung it over his shoulders, sprinted toward the door. Cosmo, Poof and Juandissimo glanced at each other, then poofed into birds and followed the boy out. Timmy shot out of his house, running toward the bus stop.

The yellow school bus was parked up, but by the revving of the engine, it was set and ready to go. "Wait!" Timmy yelled, hand out stretched out, as though that would stop it. "Wait!"

The bus driver either hadn't heard him or simply chose to ignore him because, just as Timmy was about to reach the doors, the bus zoomed off; blowing a large, black cloud at Timmy. The boy coughed and spluttered as the bus drove off into the distance. Timmy frowned, then looked up at the sky, "Well…at least it's a nice day today…"

As though Mother Nature had heard him (and decided to give him hell that day), storms cloud appeared out of no where and rain poured down over Dimmsdale, soaking the boy to the bone. Timmy sighed and began walking.

Up in a nearby tree, Juandissimo, Cosmo and Poof sat on a branch, still in their bird forms. "Why doesn't he just _wish _he was at escuela?" Juandissimo asked.

"Mmm…I dunno." Cosmo replied. The two held up their wands and, suddenly, they were all stickers on Timmy's textbook, which the boy was using as some sort of alternative umbrella.

Timmy sighed and looked up at them. "Man, what a crummy day…I didn't even finish my report on the jungle…"

"Aw, cheer up, Timmy." Cosmo said.

"Si. And -" Juandissimo paused, then looked at Poof. "Uh…I think the niño needs a diaper change…" He edged back on the book, nose wrinkled in disgust.

Cosmo put a finger to his chin, "Hm…It was Wanda's turn…but she's not here…So, Juandissimo can do it!" Cosmo picked up Poof and held him out to Juandissimo.

Juandissimo frowned, "Wait, what? No. No. You are his father." He pushed Poof to Cosmo's chest.

"But I already had a turn! It's your turn!" He thrust Poof at Juandissimo again.

"I do not have turns!" Juandissimo pushed him to Cosmo again. "Timmy, you do it."

"No way." Timmy frowned. "Shouldn't you be used to this? You have Cupid with you all the time."

Juandissimo stared at him, his eye twitching. "You cannot seriously believe _that _is why he wears them!"

"Why else would he?"

"He wears them for fashion reasons! Besides, I have only seen him without his diaper a few times." _Which you're too young to know about, _he added mentally.

There were a few moments of silence, then Timmy muttered, "So…who's doing diaper duty?"

Cosmo burst into laughter, "You said _duty!" _He laughed, then slapped Juandissimo on the bicep and pointed at Timmy, floating up to Juandissimo's face, "H-He said _du- _and then _-ty!" _The green-haired fairy burst into more hysteric laughter.

Juandissimo sighed. Oh, he was definitely missing Cupid and Katie now…

…

"Juandissimo almost _kissed _your _brother?"_

Cupid rolled his eyes, his cup of coffee held in one hand, "Oh, yeah. I mean, Anteros _did _have pink hair when Juan met him, but still. It wasn't pretty to walk in and find my boyfriend _this close _to kissing my brother."

Wanda raised an eyebrow. "I didn't even know you had a brother."

"Yup. He's my twin."

Wanda took a sip from her coffee. The two were floating in mid air, a coffee table floating between them. Wanda had no idea how they had gotten into this arrangement. One minute, they were having a staring contest; the next, they were sipping coffee and exchanging stories about their men. Wanda rolled her eyes, "Cosmo got confused when he saw Blonda for the first time. Kept asking why there were two of me…and why one was somewhat hotter then the other."

Cupid rolled his eyes, "Juan called my brother sexy…by mistake." He raised his mug to his lips, "At least, I _hope _it was by mistake…"

The two pink-haired people in Cosmo and Juandissimo's lives looked at each other, staring at each other with their eyebrows raised, then erupted into giggles. Cupid sighed, "They're such idiots."

The two grinned and clinked their mugs together, "But they're _our idiots!" _They exclaimed together, then burst into more laughter.

Just then, the bedroom door opened and Katie ran in, "Mister Cupid, Missus Wanda, I got an A in school today!"

Wanda smiled at her, "Well done, sweetie."

"Yeah, nice work." Cupid said, sipping from his coffee.

Katie pulled off her bag and dug into it, pulling a sheet of slightly crumpled paper from inside. She held it up for them to see, "And look what I drew today in class!"

Cupid and Wanda peered at the crudely drawn versions of themselves, holding each of Katie's hands. Written in black was 'MY GODPARENTS', with 'FOR NOW' written next to Wanda in brackets. Wanda smiled at her, "Aw, how cute!"

"Why do I have red hair?" Cupid asked.

Katie looked nervous, "Oh…I ran out of your hair colour…so I had to use the red crayon…Do you like it, Mister Cupid?"

Cupid shrugged, "Yeah, I guess. It's nice."

Katie walked over to Wanda and held up the drawing, "Here you go, Missus Wanda. You can keep it. Unless you want it, Mister Cupid."

Cupid held up a hand, signalling that, by all means, Wanda could have it. Wanda took it from her and smiled, "Thank you, Katie."

Katie smiled at her cutely, then tilted her head in curiosity. "Whatcha guys doin'?"

"Talking about men." Cupid replied.

"Oh…ok." Katie began walking toward the door, "I'm gonna go watch my cartoons."

"Ok. Have fun." Cupid said as she left. He looked down at his coffee, "See, she doesn't do much, but she's a pretty good kid. Juan's glad to have her. He was heartbroken after he had to leave Remy." There was a brief, uncomfortable silence, then Cupid smiled, "Wanna know what happened after Mom found out about Juan almost kissing my brother?"

Wanda smirked into her coffee, "I'm all ears."

…

"Three…Two…One…" The clock finally stuck seven and Juandissimo cheered, "Yes!" He turned to Timmy, "Timmy Turner, I am no longer your godparent."

Timmy frowned slightly, "You sound pretty happy about that."

Juandissimo put his hands to his hips, "You almost fed me to jungle cats."

"I was doing _homework._"

"Woo hoo!" Cosmo exclaimed, throwing his arms up in the air, "Now Wanda's ex-boyfriend won't be here anymore!"

"Hey," Juandissimo frowned, "you once went on a date with mi Cupido."

Cosmo looked confused, "Huh? What date?"

"The carnival." Juandissimo's frown deepened.

"Oooohhh." Cosmo said, then dug a hand into his pocket, pulled out his wallet and showed Juandissimo a string of photos, clearly taken in a photo booth. "Ya mean this?"

Juandissimo peered at the pictures, his frown deepening into a scowl as he witnessed his boyfriend giving Cosmo loving looks. He especially scowled when he noticed the one of Cosmo staring at the camera in half-embarrassment, half-confusion as Cupid kissed his cheek, one hand under his chin. Cosmo turned to show them to Poof, exclaiming "Look, Poof! This is when I went to the carnival with Cupid!" and Juandissimo retrieved his wand from his pocket. He aimed the star at Cosmo's back, then paused.

"Wait a second…You keep those in your wallet?"

Cosmo looked at him over his shoulder, "Well, duh. Where else would I keep 'em?"

Juandissimo felt his face redden in anger. How could Cosmo have a pictures of _his lover in his wallet?! _Did he not _realize _that he shouldn't keep pictures of someone else's boyfriend in his _wallet? _And here Juandissimo was thinking he was the only one with a picture of Cupid with him at all times…

"I wish we were at Katie's house." Timmy spoke up, feeling this had gone on long enough. Cosmo glanced at him and waved his wand, the four males disappearing in puffs of green smoke.

Seconds later, they were in front of Katie's house. Timmy knocked on the door as Juandissimo, Cosmo and Poof quickly poofed into goldfish and swam around in their bowl. The door opened slightly and Katie peeked out, "Hello…? Oh! Timmy!" She threw open the door. "Is it time to swap back already?"

"Uh-huh." Timmy nodded, smiling. Katie moved aside and allowed Timmy to enter her home, "Nice place ya got here."

"Thanks."

When they were sure the coast was clear, the three fairies poofed into their normal forms. Katie grinned and ran over to Juandissimo, leaping at him and hugging him tightly, "Juandissimo! I missed you, Juandissimo!"

Juandissimo smiled and hugged her back, "I missed you too, mi Niña."

Katie grabbed his hand and pulled him toward the stairs, "C'mon! Mister Cupid and Missus Wanda are upstairs! They've been together all day!"

Juandissimo's smile faltered. Oh, no. It was bad enough that he had panicked all day that Cupid would fight (or possibly try to kill) Wanda, or vice versa. 'Been together all day'. Did that mean they had argued or…could it be that they actually got along? Timmy, Cosmo and Poof followed them up to Katie's bedroom, then the little girl pushed open the door.

"Yeah, and this one time, Juan totally -" Cupid was saying, then noticed company and paused, looking over Wanda's shoulder at them. Wanda too looked over.

"WANDA!" Cosmo exclaimed, zipping over to her and hugging her tightly. Poof did the same, hugging his mother the best he could. Cosmo proclaimed, "I was _so_ _sad_ without you, pumpkin! And me, Timmy and Poof went into the jungle together and for some reason Juandissimo was there and…" He continued babbling on.

"CUPID!" Juandissimo exclaimed, grinning as he zoomed over to Cupid and took one hand in his, kissing the back of it several times. "I have missed you as the moon misses the night sky! Oh, it has been muy espantoso without you, mi amor! I barely made it out alive!" He announced dramatically, then began kissing Cupid's hand again.

The two pink-haired creatures stared at their partners for a few seconds, then glanced at each other. The two began to recall all of the tales they told each other, then slowly began to giggle. Their giggles became full-blown laughter. Juandissimo and Cosmo paused, pulling away from their partners in confusion. Wanda clutched her stomach and Cupid laid down on his belly in midair, hit the air with his fists as though there were an imaginary floor beneath him.

"Uh…Why are they laughing at us?" Cosmo asked, pointing at them and looking to Juandissimo for guidance.

Juandissimo tilted his head, "I…do not know…"

Meanwhile, Timmy and Katie shook hands, "It was nice to meet you, Katie." Timmy said.

"You too, Timmy." Katie replied.

Timmy paused when, out of the corner of his eye, he noticed the shelf of video games on her wall, "You like video games?"

"Uh-huh!"

Timmy gasped, "Woah. You have Crash Nebula vs. The Crimson Chin?!"

"Yup. Wanna play?"

"You bet!" The two ran out of the room, leaving the male fairies to figure out why their partners were laughing so hard…and at them.

…

Later, Juandissimo and Cupid were laying on the God's sofa, Cupid half-on top of the fairy with his head on his muscular chest. Juandissimo smirked. Cosmo may have had pictures of Cupid in his wallet, but Juandissimo had the _real thing _laying with him right now. The fairy cupped Cupid's face in one hand and got him to look him in the eyes, "I missed you, Cupido. Cosmo was difficult to deal with."

Cupid shrugged, "Oh, I dunno. I guess Wanda isn't _so bad_…"

"So…you two are friends now?"

Cupid shrugged, "I guess."

Juandissimo grinned. Yes! One of his dreams came true! If Cupid was friends with Wanda now, that meant that, surely, he wouldn't so much if Juandissimo ever flirted with his ex!…Right? "So…maybe now you can tell me that joke." Cupid raised an eyebrow, "The one you and Wanda were laughing at earlier."

Cupid paused and stared at him, recalling all of the hilarious tales of their partners' stupidity, and proceeded to burst into laughter. He buried his face in Juandissimo's chest, trying to muffle his laughter, and began to lightly hit his lover's torso in his laughing fit. Juandissimo stared, then began to frown. After a while, he dug his wand out of his pocket, "I'm going back to Katie's." He muttered, poofing away and leaving Cupid there to laugh in peace.

…

**Author's note:**

**Here's another one I've had around for months. 'Tis filled with OOC-ness, Cosmo-Juandissimo rivalry, Katie-Timmy friendship and Wanda-Cupid girl/…potentially-homosexual-guy talk. **

**Just imagine if Cosmo and Juan **_**did **_**swap…Probably a combination of 'Magic', 'Flirt' and 'Enough'…and maybe a lil' bit of 'Jealousy' and 'Heart'.**

**You know what's funny? In the original plot for this chapter, Cosmo and Juandissimo were **_**going to sing. **_**Scene was deleted.**

**I know this idea goes against some of Da Rules, but I just liked it so much. It was either this, or a one-shot about Cupid and Juan swapping jobs for the day (including clothes). So…yes. Juan's line to Timmy 'We shall see about that, little monkey!' is a direct quotation from Fairy Fairy Quite Contrary. And the note Cupid makes Juan read is a reference to the running gag in New Squid in Town, when Cosmo and King Grippulon (Mark's dad) get attracted to Mandie and Wanda and Queen Jipjorrulac give them a card to say otherwise (more specifically, Cosmo and Wanda's scene). Always liked the thought of Cupid making Juan do the same if he was ever in the presence of Wanda.**

**If I could draw, I would totally draw Cupid and Wanda talking about their men while Juan and Cosmo are in the background, wondering what the hell they're talking about. In fact, if anyone wants to draw that, I'd be delighted.**

**Anyway, we haven't had Katie in a while, so have some Katie. Does anyone else find it adorable that she calls Cupid 'Mister Cupid'?…No? Just me? **

**Cosmo keeps pictures of Cupid in his wallet…The CupidxCosmo shipper in me is squealing at that, while the JuandissimoxCupid shipper is shouting "BURN THEM!"**

**And, death mega sega, to answer your question: Aphrodite probably isn't there, so she most likely hasn't noticed. Hephaestus, on the other hand…is probably **_**really **_**confused right now, "Now, I'm pretty sure he was there a second ago…unless I've been hallucinating and talking to air this entire time…"**

**Anteros: I'm not jealous of my brother! Why would I be?! So, he's more famous then me…and gets all the girls…and the guys…and gets more of Mom and Dad's attention…So **_**what?! **_**Pfft. Him and his stupid, girly hair…**


	32. Shield

**Of Pink Hair and Spanish Flair**

**I don't own Fairly Odd Parents. Butch Hartman does.**

**I do, however, own these versions of Anti-Cupid and Anti-Juandissimo.**

**WARNING!: This series is about CupidxJuandissimo. Don't like, don't read.**

**Relationship: Lovers.**

**Word: Shield.**

…

It had all happened so fast.

One minute, it was counterpart vs. counterpart; God vs. Anti-God; Cupid vs. Anti-Cupid. It all began with a simple fight - the usual - but when Cupid had begun mocking Anti-Cupid for being a disappointment amongst Anti-Gods, Anti-Cupid had gotten more aggressive, more violent and far more bloodthirsty. Completely ignoring the whole 'you die, I die' rule, Anti-Cupid had had no such hesitation when he whipped out his wand and began using it as both a sword and a gun. There had been the occasional clash of star-tipped wands, then there had been zaps of magic shot at one another. A few love and hate arrow were fired as well.

Cupid narrowly dodged a bullet of blue light then scowled at his counterpart, who hovered above him, "It's not _my fault _your parents hate you!"

Anti-Cupid's lips separated, revealing his vampire teeth, as he growled and pointed his wand at his counterpart accusingly, "It _is _all your fault! You moved here, so I had to move to Anti-Fairy World! Father despises anti-fairies!" He lifted his wand as the star began to glow, burning with rising power, "And now _he despises me too!" _Anti-Cupid threw his arm down, pointed his wand at Cupid, and fired.

Cupid quickly flew to the side as the light shot passed him. He peeked out from his new hiding place behind the up-turned coffee table, "My dad built this place for me, so I'm gonna live in it!" He zapped pink light at his counterpart, who dodged it easily. "Besides, Dad built _your home _too! And he did that out of the kindness of his heart!"

"My father will deal with Hephaestus." Anti-Cupid said, "It's my job to deal with _you_." He lifted his wand and shot yet another ray of light at his counterpart, who ducked as it flew passed his head.

Cupid scowled, "You're _crazy_."

Anti-Cupid grinned, "Why, _thank you._"

The Anti-God began trying to zap his counterpart again, laughing manically as he watched Cupid run around his living room, dodging each of the blasts Anti-Cupid sent at him. Just as Anti-Cupid was having the most fun, he felt a quick, burning sensation on his back. It made him lurch forward in pain and surprise. As the Anti-God regained his balance, his eyes practically lit up with anger. Something in his heart told him it was Hephaestus and that frightened him. While he knew of the God's kindness, he had met Hephaestus before and he knew the man wasn't frightened of using his powers to protect his children; especially his youngest child, who was the one Anti-Cupid had just happened to zap with magic a couple of times. He settled himself. If it was Hephaestus, Anti-Cupid would've known. First of all, Hephaestus didn't just poof into places like his children and older brother. Anti-Cupid would've heard his metallic shoes or his chariot (his main way of travelling to Fairy World) approaching. Second of all, the pain would've been more intense if it was Hephaestus. The man was the God of _Fire, _for crying out loud! His flames would've been more intense then just a little burn on the back. Anti-Cupid growled, then slowly looked over his shoulder, "_Who. Did. That?"_

Juandissimo Magnifico continued to scowl at him from where he stood on the floor, behind the Anti-God. The fairy's wand-wielding arm was still lifted and the star-tipped end of the wand was still smoking, pointed at the Anti-God, _"Manténgase alejado de él." _The fairy growled, his teeth gritted in a scowl.

Anti-Cupid turned to him, put his hands to his hips and rolled his eyes, "Oh, yeah, of course _you'd _be here. What do you want?"

"I came here to ask Cupido something, but I can see this is not the right time." Juandissimo replied.

"Ask him something, huh? Is it 'can we break up'? Please tell me it is. I've been waiting for you two to break it off for ages, ever since Anti-Cosmo left Anti-Juandissimo on my doorstep." Anti-Cupid sneered.

"Of course not." Juandissimo replied.

Anti-Cupid pointed his wand at him, "Then you have no business being here."

Cupid scowled at his counterpart, "Oh, no you don't." He quickly thrust his wand forward, zapping his counterpart in the chest with magic. Anti-Cupid cried out in pain and fell to the ground, a hand to his heart.

Cupid zipped over to Juandissimo, grabbing his hand as he flew passed. The God led him over to a table which had been flipped over during Cupid and Anti-Cupid's fight and now leaned against the wall, leaving a little space that Juandissimo and Cupid crawled into. Cupid peeked out, checking up on his counterpart and saw him laying there, addressing his wound. The God turned to his boyfriend, frowning at him, "The heck are you doing here?"

"I said I came here to ask you something." Juandissimo replied.

"You really think this is the time for that?"

"I didn't know the Anti-God would be here! What is he doing here anyway?!"

Cupid rolled his eyes, "Every month, Anti-Cupid is allowed to see Anti-Hephaestus at the gate leading to the Land of the Anti-Gods. Obviously, Anti-Hephaestus has been insulting him again, so -"

"He was acting weird when he came home."

Both men stopped and looked over at the source of the voice. Anti-Juandissimo sat there, knees to his chest and back against the wall. "He kept saying his daddy would never be proud of him until he killed a God." Anti-Juandissimo looked over at Cupid. "Well, he said 'anyone, but Father will be especially proud if it was a God'. He picked you."

Cupid rolled his eyes, "Oh, of course he did. That idiot. If I die, he dies, then Anti-Hephaestus wouldn't be able to praise him. What an idiot."

"Anti-Cupid's not an idiot…" Anti-Juandissimo muttered.

"Whatever." Cupid said. "The point is, he has to be stopped. Nothing's worse then an insane Anti-God."

"Come out, come out, wherever you are, counterpart ~!" They heard Anti-Cupid chant. "There's no use hiding, I can _smell _your fear."

Juandissimo's brow furrowed, "The Anti-God has gone _loco._"

Cupid crossed his arms, "Stupid Anti-Gods…Never got to finish my TV show…" The God went to move out, but Juandissimo grabbed his wrist.

"Where're you going, mi amor?"

"Well, someone's gotta deal with 'im," Cupid replied, "and it's gotta be me."

"Well, now _you _are loco." Juandissimo said. "Mi amor, he'll _kill you._"

Cupid shook his head, "No, he won't."

"He will. He is _demente_."

"Well, yeah. But, hey, like father, like son."

Juandissimo pulled him back, "Cupido, please. At least let me ask -"

"Juan, there's no time for that." Cupid snapped. "I have some whacko destroying my house. Dad got upset when I accidentally stained the ceiling, so imagine how upset he'll be if there the ceiling gets _destroyed._"

Juandissimo's head snapped up as Cupid mentioned his father, "That is it. Let me go and get Señor Hephaestus. He'll know what to do." The fairy held up his wand, but Cupid reached out and put his arm down.

"Dad can't do anything."

"Of course he can! He is uno de los Doce Olympians! He -"

"Juan," Cupid grasped his shoulders, "Let me tell you something: when me and Anteros were kids, we went into the Land of the Anti-Gods, even though Dad said never to go near the gate. That day, I met Anti-Hephaestus and he almost succeeded in tricking me and Anteros into staying in his land forever. But Hermes saw us go in and flew back to tell Dad and, unintentionally, he told Uncle Ares too. Before we could fall for Anti-Hephaestus's tricks, Uncle Ares, Dad and Hermes burst in. Uncle Ares pinned Anti-Hephaestus to the floor and he nearly beat him up, but he couldn't."

"Why?" Juandissimo asked, trying to ignore the sound of a sofa exploding from Anti-Cupid's magic.

"Because Anti-Hephaestus isn't his counterpart. Dad is Anti-Hephaestus's counterpart."

"I'm confused, mi amor. Why are you telling me this?"

"Cause that incident led to Dad telling us the biggest rule of the Gods:" Cupid breathed in, "'Only a God can take on his Anti-God counterpart…and win'. It's a stupid and complicated rule, but it's there. Which means I have to face Anti-Cupid, even if he is some psycho maniac right now."

"Exactly my point, amor. He is loco. He'll kill you."

Cupid shook his head, "Don't worry. I've faced him hundreds of times."

"But you're already hurt." Juandissimo said, looking to Cupid's torso. His coat was slightly ripped, his bow tie hung loosely at his neck and his shirt was ruffled and covered in filth. His hair didn't look too great either. "At least let me help."

"Wanna help? Stay here. You can ask me that question when I get back." Cupid pressed a kiss to Juandissimo's lips. "Which will be soon." The God rolled out from their hiding place and stood up, scowling at his counterpart's back. "Hey, you diaper-wearing blueberry!"

Anti-Cupid's head snapped up and he turned, scowling and baring his teeth. "_You._"

"You can insult me and destroy my home, but when you try and hurt my boyfriend or threaten _my dad, that's _when I draw the line!" He pulled an arrow from the quiver tied to his back and grabbed his bow from his inside pocket. He put the arrow to the bow and pointed the love heart-tipped arrow at Anti-Cupid, "Prepare to feel the _love!"_

Anti-Cupid's eyes widened, "No way!" He exclaimed as he dodged the arrow.

Cupid grabbed another arrow from his quiver and shot it at his counterpart, who easily dodged it. Cupid cursed in Greek - a language all the Gods knew - and looked down at his shaking hands. Was he scared? Why would he be scared? As he said, he'd done this before. Maybe it was because he had an audience this time. Cupid grabbed his wand from his pocket and began firing pink beams of light at his counterpart, only succeeding in putting a few holes in the walls as Anti-Cupid dodged each and every one of them.

"Missed!" Anti-Cupid taunted, sticking his tongue out at his counterpart. Cupid fired another arrow, but then sweat pouring down his forehead reached his eyes; blinding him and stinging his eyeballs. The arrow shot passed Anti-Cupid, who laughed, "Oh, _so close!"_

Cupid wiped the sweat from his eyes with his sleeve, "Stop _mocking me!"_

"Hurts, _doesn't it?" _Anti-Cupid growled.

Cupid scowled and reached into his quiver. One arrow left. He just had one arrow left. He tried to grab it, but his fingers shook too much and he couldn't grasp it. The God looked over his shoulder at his quiver and stared as the arrow travelled around the quiver, his fingers only briefly touching it before it rolled again.

Suddenly, a black arrow cut through the air and embedded itself into Cupid's thigh. Cupid cried out and dropped his bow, his hands automatically going to his wound. He fell to one knee, feeling the hatred spread throughout his body. The God looked at the Anti-God, feeling more hatred for him then before.

Anti-Cupid put his hands to his hips, his bow in his left hand, "_Hurts, doesn't it?!" _He repeated, sounding absolutely bonkers with glee. In his right hand, he held his wand; which was glowing red with rising power, burning with hatred its master and owner controlled.

Cupid tried to get to his feet, but his leg stung and he fell again; this time to both knees. A bead of gold grew from the wound and dripped down to the floor; wasting godly blood. He looked up at Anti-Cupid, whose wings suddenly grew wide. Cupid's eyes widened also and he fell to his back. Anti-Cupid swooped down to his counterpart, who crawled backwards; away from him.

The Anti-God sauntered towards him, like a lion ready to pounce on its prey, "Oh, Eros, you're in trouble again. But, this time, _Daddy _isn't here to save you. And we. All. Know. _Why!"_ Cupid gasped when his back hit the wall that he thought was further away. Anti-Cupid raised his burning wand, "'Only a _God _can take on its Anti-God counterpart'! Well, the _same goes _for _Anti-Gods! _Only _we _can _kill _our God counterparts!" He laughed, then looked up at the ceiling, "This is _you, Father!" _Anti-Cupid grinned at Cupid, who looked more scared then ever, "_No one _is here to _save _you, Eros. _No one. _Not even _Uncle Ares!" _The Anti-God laughed, "Say hello to _Hades for me!" _

The Anti-God thrust his arm down, the star-tipped end of his wand pointing at his counterpart, ordering the magic within to fire. Cupid watched as the blast came toward him, the magic red with anger, hatred; the _need _for _revenge and approval._

And then Juandissimo Magnifico jumped out from his hiding place, right in front of it. The blast hit him square in the chest and the fairy - laying there, in mid-air - was electrocuted, shaking and jolting like he was having a fit. The light reflected in his eyes, making them appear to be only white. When the attack lost power, Juandissimo - wounded and burned - fell to the floor, grunted as he rolled a couple of times, then ended up on his back; arms and legs out like a starfish.

"_No!" _Anti-Cupid snarled, nose wrinkling in anger and teeth bared.

"_JUAN!" _Cupid screamed, moving as quickly as he could to his boyfriend's side. He retracted slightly when he saw the beginning of a stain on Juandissimo's white shirt; right where Anti-Cupid had zapped him.

"That was meant for the _God, _you _idiot! _You _weren't supposed to interfere!" _Anti-Cupid shouted. "Now my wand has _lost its power!"_

Cupid took hold of Juandissimo's hand in both of his, "Juan…? Juan, speak to me!"

Juandissimo's eyelids fluttered and his eyes slowly opened, darker yet weaker then before. They sought out Cupid and Juandissimo's breathing hitched, "A-Amor…a-are you ok…?"

"Are you kidding me?" Cupid said, "What about you?! You…what were you even doing?!"

"P-Protecting you…"

Cupid looked down at Juandissimo's shirt and saw the stain begin to increase, a deep red conquering the white. The God's eyes widened and wondered briefly if the blast had gone through him or not. Cupid looked to Juandissimo's face, "I…I can get Apollo. Yeah, I'll get him and he'll come here and he'll heal you." The God explained hurriedly, then got up to leave, but Juandissimo gripped his hand weakly.

"No, amor…" Juandissimo muttered, "S-Stay…por favor…"

"But…I need to go and get Apollo…"

Juandissimo weakly shook his head, "It…can't be helped…"

Cupid felt his eyes sting with moisture that certainly wasn't sweat, "It can. Apollo…he can heal you. He can heal anyone."

"It'll be too late…"

"It _won't!" _Cupid's voice shook and the tears poured down his cheeks.

Juandissimo shook his head again, "No…please don't…don't cry, mi amor…I…I hate it when you c-cry…" The fairy gasped softly, "Mi…Mi pregunta…" Juandissimo raised his hips the best he could, his free hand dipping into his pocket. He trembled as he did this, using every bout of strength he could. You'd think, with muscles like his, he'd be able to do this better. Then again, his blood was seeping out of him after being shot by one of the Anti-Gods. He gritted his teeth and shut his eyes in pain as he pulled something from his back pocket. The fairy tried lifting it so that Cupid could see, but he dropped it; gasping slightly as he did so. Cupid looked at it, his brow furrowing as he did so. His lips formed an 'o' shape. Juandissimo's breath hitched again, "O-Open it…Open it for me, amor…"

Cupid reached over, picking up the small, black box with a shaking hand and flipped open the lid. He gasped at the little pillow inside, which cradled a gold band. Cupid's jaw dropped as Juandissimo uttered, "W-Will…you marry me…?"

Fresh tears poured down the God's face and he shook with sobs. Cupid couldn't find his voice and only gave his boyfriend a few, shaky nods. Juandissimo grinned the best he could, gasping happily yet slowly, "Excelente…I…I asked Señor Hephaestus and Señora Aphrodite if…if it was ok to ask you…" His grin faded slowly and he looked up at Cupid, "W-Would you have…s-said yes anyway? U-Under different circunstancias…?"

Cupid sniffled and nodded again, "Y…Yeah…" He gulped, "Y-You went to my parents…?"

"Si. I…I didn't want them to be upset or…or anything…I a-also told my family…Mi madre was thrilled…mi padre…oh, I don't care what he thinks…Horacio and Ysabel…they c-couldn't wait to call you…h-hermano…"

Cupid looked down at the ring in the box, a perfect ring made of gold and a diamond embedded into its surface. Looking down at it, thinking of the future they could've had together, made Cupid burst into sobs again. "Juan…please, let me go and get Apollo…"

Juandissimo shook his head, "It'll be too late…I-I know how busy he can be…" He looked down at the arrow in Cupid's thigh, "Y-You're…You're hurt…"

"Forget about that." Cupid shook his head, "Please, Juan. Please don't go…"

Juandissimo coughed lightly. He smiled at Cupid, "J-Just imagine it, amor…You in white, me in black. You could have a pink bow tie and I could have purple…We can invite all the Gods and Goddesses if you want…a-and my family too…my brothers and sister…mis tíos y tías y primos…We can go to _la iglesia _o-or have it outside, if you want…A-Anything to make you h-happy…" He grinned at the images in his head, "W-Would that make you happy, mi amor?"

Cupid nodded, "More then anything."

Juandissimo managed a short chuckle. He looked at Cupid, straight in the eyes, and - with a trembling hand - reached up and brushed a strand of pink hair behind his ear, "Y-You are…perfect…_L-Lo siento _for e-ever thinking otherwise…"

Cupid took Juandissimo's raised hand in both of his, "J-Juan…P-Please…"

Juandissimo smiled, "Mi novio…Te amo, mi novio…"

Cupid stared at him, waiting for a translation and trying to figure out what 'novio' meant. He gulped, swallowing the lump in his throat, "I…I love you too, Juan…"

Juandissimo held out a hand and Cupid took the ring from the box, handing it to him. The fairy held it up the best he could and the God held out a hand. Carefully, slowly and shakily, Juandissimo slipped the ring onto Cupid's finger. The fairy nodded, took Cupid's hand and gently brought it closer, kissing the diamond ring lovingly, "P-Perfect fit…" The fairy suddenly coughed and Cupid watched the red stain on his shirt grow and grow. Cupid leaned down and pressed his lips to Juandissimo's, feeling his fiancé kiss him back. Juandissimo's lips tasted almost coppery like…like…

_Blood._

Cupid removed his mouth from Juandissimo's. The Spanish fairy grinned at him, "S-Still _t-tan perfecto_…" Juandissimo managed a little chuckle before his grin began to fade and his eyes widened slightly. His body grew cold and his mouth grew dry. His pupils enlarged in his eyes, almost covering the purple, and his eyelids slowly began to droop. Juandissimo's eyes shut and his head fell. Slowly and weakly, his fingers lost their grip on Cupid's hand altogether. The fairy's breathing slowed down, slower and slower. He took one last intake of breath - a small gasp - then slowly breathed out the rest of his air.

Juandissimo Magnifico was gone.

Cupid stared, tears pouring down his cheeks, "Juan…? Juan, d-don't you dare d-do this to me…C'mon, this i-isn't funny…C'mon, wake up…Juan…Juandissimo Magnifico, you wake up right now!"

"Ooh, both names." Anti-Cupid finally spoke up, sarcasm dripping from every word, "That's terrifying."

"Anti-Cupid…"

"Hm?" Anti-Cupid turned as Anti-Juandissimo crawled out of his hiding place, clutching his stomach.

"I don't feel so good…" Anti-Juandissimo said, just before collapsing onto the floor.

"Anti-Juandissimo!" Anti-Cupid exclaimed and ran over to him, dropping to one knee beside him.

Anti-Juandissimo lay on his stomach, one arm at his side; palm facing the ceiling and the other arm bent beside him; hand in front of his face on the floor. "A-Anti-Cupid…?" Anti-Juandissimo muttered, "If Juandissimo just p-proposed then…d-does that mean we're gonna g-get married too…?"

Anti-Cupid breathed in, his body trembling. He found it hard to talk, "Y-Yeah, buddy…W-We'll get married, sure…"

"Oh…" Anti-Juandissimo looked down at the floor, then back to the Anti-God, "I…I'd like to be married to you, Anti-Cupid…then m-maybe you won't be so m-mad at me all the time…"

Anti-Cupid nodded shakily, "M-Maybe…"

"Anti-Cupid…?"

"Y-Yes?"

"I-Is your daddy proud of you now…?"

Anti-Cupid shook even more, this time with anger and guilt. "I…I don't _care…_I. Don't. _Care!"_

"Oh…" Anti-Juandissimo muttered. There was another brief silence before Anti-Juandissimo uttered, "I…I've _always _been proud of you, Anti-Cupid…"

Anti-Cupid sucked in some air through his teeth at the confession. Anti-Juandissimo sucked in some air, "I…used to like you…"

Anti-Cupid tilted his head, "'Like'?"

"Yeah…now I…now I _love _you…"

Anti-Cupid gritted his teeth and squeezed his fists shut, his sharp fingernails digging into his palms and drawing blood. Anti-Juandissimo gulped, swallowing the lump in his throat as tears developed in his purple eyes - purple eyes that now matched those of a dead man's. "W-Why did you shoot Juandissimo?"

"Didn't…Didn't mean to…"

"I…I didn't want you to shoot Mister Cupid either…" Anti-Cupid tilted his head as Anti-Juandissimo continued, "T-Then you would've died too…a-and that means I'd hafta live w-without you…I don't think I can…do that…"

Anti-Cupid gritted his teeth and his nose wrinkled. He shut his eyes, then opened them and watched his sight grow blurry. Anti-Juandissimo's brow furrowed, "Sh-Should I say hello t-to Hades for you…?"

Anti-Cupid's eyes widened as he remembered his earlier words to Cupid and he shook his head, "No…you don't need to do that…"

"Oh…ok…" Anti-Juandissimo looked up at him, eyes big and full of tears, and the broken anti-fairy whispered, "…Bye…"

Anti-Cupid sucked in a breath and he shut his eyes, nodding slowly, "Bye…"

Anti-Juandissimo looked away from him and sucked in a final breath, then let that final breath escape him as his eyelids fell and his eyes shut for the final time.

Anti-Juandissimo Magnifico was gone.

Anti-Cupid covered his eyes with his right hand and he gritted his teeth harshly. Cupid burst into sobs, burying his face into Juandissimo's chest and clinging onto his soiled shirt with both fists.

"I…" Anti-Cupid started, "I…I didn't know anti-creatures…were capable of love…"

"Of _course _they are, you _idiot!" _Cupid suddenly shouted, picking himself up from Juandissimo, "I hope you're _happy! _You've taken Juandissimo away from me and, by doing so, you've taken Anti-Juandissimo away from your_self! _You're a _monster, _just like your _father!"_

Anti-Cupid scowled and looked to him, "Oh, what? And _you're _so _perfect, _are you? Yes, because that would be _expected _from the child of a _lonely mechanic and the ruler of beauty!"_

"At least my father has a _reason _to be proud of me. At least he _loves me!"_

"Oh, yeah? Well," Anti-Cupid stood up, "if he loves you so much, why isn't he here? _Protecting you now?!"_

Cupid suddenly grabbed his wand, pointed it at his counterpart and fired. "_Murderer!" _

The blast hit Anti-Cupid straight in the chest, sending him flying backwards. His back hit the wall, the back of his head hitting it soon after, and the Anti-God fell to ground. The Anti-God looked to his counterpart and almost gasped. Cupid's eyes had darkened to a purple that almost looked like Juandissimo's eye colour. The God's hair had caught alight and was now a blazing fire, just like his father's did when he was enraged. Anti-Cupid gritted his teeth, "Now, now, God. Let's not lose control. You know what happens when _Daddy _loses control. This." He gestured to Cupid, whose hair was still hot and burning, "_This is what happens. _It's nice to know you _did _inherit something - other then eye colour - from Hephaestus. I inherited quite a lot from my f -" Anti-Cupid was cut off after the string of a bow was pulled back and Cupid's signature weapon sliced through the air; hitting its intended target with full-force.

Silence rang out throughout the mansion.

…

**Author's note:**

**Hey, look, guys! I killed Juan too!**

…**Why do I sound so delighted?**

**Let's pretend that fairies can't heal themselves almost instantly, just for the sake of this one-shot. 'kay? 'kay.**

**So, uh…Who hates Anti-Cupid now? Or…who hates **_**me **_**now?**

**This one-shot is so cliché, I almost stopped writing it. But I kinda liked the idea…even though it's a horrible idea in the sense that it's ripped out my heart and thrown it to the ground.**

**On a different note, I have no idea what colour fairy blood is, so I just chose red. Looked better staining Juan's shirt then any other colour did and sparkly blood would've ruined it.**

**And, yes, Anti-Cupid did quote The Lion King.**

**But, hey, when did you guys guess Juan was there to propose? When he first mentioned a 'question'? When he tried to ask Cupid? Or when he was dying? Let me know.**


	33. Loyalty

**Of Pink Hair and Spanish Flair**

**I don't own Fairly Odd Parents. Butch Hartman does.**

**I do, however, own these versions of Cupid's family members and any other non-canon character that may appear in this. **

**WARNING!: This series is about JuandissimoxCupid. Don't like, don't read.**

**Relationship: Lovers.**

**Word: Loyalty.**

…

I've been working for Cupid for years. I've been working for his _family _for even longer.

Cherubs were originally assigned to care for Lady Aphrodite; hired by her parents. Then she married Lord Hephaestus and we became his servants too. I was born soon after Lady Aphrodite married Lord Hephaestus, so I have known them both my entire life. Lord Hephaestus had been so nice to me when I had begun doing jobs for him; accepting that I was new and would probably mess up once or twice. I had once spilled some food on him (by accident) and had apologized a million times, but he had waved it off, said it was ok, and began cleaning himself off. I had been surprised. He was one of the Twelve Olympians, God of Fire, so…wasn't he going to explode? Set fire to me and burn me to a crisp? When I had asked him this, he had laughed and said, "Why would I do that? It'll come out in the wash."

Since then, I have had the highest amount of respect for that man. I consider us lucky. If Lady Aphrodite had married Ares - Lord Hephaestus's hot-headed brother - then we would be working for him. Pfft. No, thanks. Lord Hephaestus is a much nicer man. More understanding, less judgemental.

My father was right in saying that Lady Aphrodite is rather…difficult to work for. While Lord Hephaestus doesn't let much bother him - unless it has to do with his brother, his Anti-God counterpart or one of his uncles (the only people he has ever held grudges against) - Lady Aphrodite is, shall we say, moodier then him. She has to have things 'just right', otherwise she isn't satisfied. It's not like she complains about _every little thing, _but still. Things just _have _to be 'her way', especially when she goes shopping. Oh, dear. When she goes shopping, we're forced to go with her to carry her bags. She's a Goddess. She's not going to do it herself. Sometimes, however, Lord Hephaestus is unlucky enough to be picked to go with her instead. He often returns covered in shopping bags.

Yes, working for Lord Hephaestus and Lady Aphrodite is swell. And then they had children.

The twins fascinated us. I was there when they were born. Two little bundles, both boys. One with the hair, eyes and smile of Lord Hephaestus, but with the soft skin, wings and sweetness of Lady Aphrodite and the other…well, the other one was ninety-five percent Lady Aphrodite and five percent Lord Hephaestus; that five percent being the eyes, the smile and the love of a certain caffeinated drink. Everything else was all Lady Aphrodite.

Yes. Of course I'm talking about little Cupid, or Eros (if you prefer to call him that, but I wouldn't advise it).

Cupid's Greek name had been Lady Aphrodite's method to telling Lord Hephaestus she was pregnant. She had strolled up to him while he had been making a sword for Ares and told him she liked the name Eros. He had awkwardly said that that was nice while also silently wondering what she was up to. Lady Aphrodite had obviously worked out that her husband would remain oblivious until she outright said it, so she did just that. Lord Hephaestus proceeded to faint. He fainted once more several months later when Apollo informed them that there was not one, but two babies.

Well, he had taken the news better then they thought he would.

The twins had been funny little things. We were their godparents, in a way. When their parents couldn't take care of them - whether they were doing their jobs or visiting relatives or, perhaps, going on dates - we did. They were stubborn little things too. I seem to recall trying to get Cupid to take a bath and go to bed, but he had taken hold of the curtains and, whenever we tried to pull him off, he would scream in hopes that some other relative might hear him. We were forbidden from calling him by his Greek name too, so that wouldn't have worked. Once or twice we had managed to pry him off and get him calm enough to bathe him and send him to bed. Any other time, we had to get Lord Hephaestus on the phone to tell him to get off the curtains. His method was promising something, either that he would read him a story when he got back or that he had a special present in his workshop for him. That always worked.

Any other night, his parents easily got him in the bathtub and then into bed. Lady Aphrodite handled the bath (since Lord Hephaestus has a massive fear of water, to the point that he actually hides underneath the bed when it rains) and Lord Hephaestus had handled bedtime by either reading to them or singing to them, which is funny because he doesn't like to sing. Said it distracts him.

The twins were popular with the rest of the Gods and still are to this very day. We hadn't had twin Gods since Ares's twins were born. Lady Aphrodite had wasted no time in displaying little Cupid to the Goddesses, who all crowded the poor kid, exclaiming that he was adorable and had Lord Hephaestus's eyes. Meanwhile, Apollo, Hermes and Dionysus were having fun teasing Lord Hephaestus. "Bit eager there, were ya, 'Phaestus?" Apollo had exclaimed, nudging Lord Hephaestus with his elbow, "Did ya make these in ya workshop too?" The three had burst into laughter and Lord Hephaestus was left with the most horrified expression I'd ever seen him wear.

As 'the young master' grew up, he became even more like Lady Aphrodite. When he had reached an age that was equivalent to a nineteen-year-old human, he had wanted to move out. Where? To _Fairy World. _Anteros had picked to move to a house that is fairly close to Mt. Olympus, near to The House of Apollo (a music club he frequently visits) but only a quick walk away from Lord Hephaestus and Lady Aphrodite's home. But _Cupid. _Cupid had picked to go to a different _world_. Of course, Lady Aphrodite immediately said no when he had asked her and she still hates Fairy World to this day. Then Cupid had gone to Lord Hephaestus, who is - quite frankly - a pushover, especially when it came to Cupid. "It's on pink clouds, Daddy!" was one of Cupid's reasons for moving, which he had told Lord Hephaestus while showing him a picture he had found in a magazine, "_Pink clouds! _It's _perfect _for me!" But Lord Hephaestus hadn't been convinced. He had asked Cupid where exactly he intended to live, whether there was a house he was planning on buying, and Cupid had then told him that he had found a place to live, then showed him an empty patch of land. Lord Hephaestus had caught on quickly. Cupid wanted him to build him a house. However, Lord Hephaestus had said no, telling him that he was too young to move out. This resulted in an argument between the two and Cupid had stormed off to his room. I reasoned with Lord Hephaestus that 'it was the hormones talking'. Eventually, Lord Hephaestus had sat down with Cupid, had a heart-to-heart chat and bam - Cupid was allowed to move to Fairy World.

I'm one of the cherubs that was sent to Fairy World with him; to care for him and help him with work. Working with (for) Cupid had been _hell _at first. He was the snobbiest little brat ever. He complained about every little thing. 'Cubed ice instead of crushed', 'not enough lemonade in the glass', _'too much _lemonade in the glass', 'sun's too hot today' (like we could do anything about _that!), _'sofa was facing the wrong wall, move it', 'you moved it wrong, do it again', '_Ahem. _Why aren't my slippers on my feet? Go get them and put them on!'. Stuff like that.

If we ever complained about something, Cupid would say, "Well, _obviously, _you're not doing your _job properly."_

I had gritted my teeth in anger, "Why don't _you do it then?"_

"Pfft. I'm a _God, _I don't do things for _myself. Duh." _He had said back in the most annoying tone I'd ever heard, while he turned away from me. He waved a hand at me, "Now, go draw me a bath. And remember - and I know this is difficult for you - like my men, I like 'em _hot._" He had then walked away like he was most precious little thing in the world, leaving me with the urge to strangle him.

Monty had once been cheeky enough to draw a bathtub on a piece of paper and show it to him. When Cupid had asked him what it was, Monty had replied that it was the bath he requested. Cupid had complained to him, then added that he said he liked them hot, and Monty had proceeded to draw little lines of steam coming out of the water, "That hot enough for ya?" He had asked sarcastically, "Wait. Let me test." He drew a thermometer rising from the water, then drew a little red line extending to the top of it, "Yep. Seems hot enough to me." Cupid then proceeded to tantrum like the spoiled brat he was.

Eventually - like we usually did when the boss was acting spoilt - we had to call his father. Lord Hephaestus had come down here the next day, scolding his son for acting like that and threatening to send him back to live with his parents if this continued. He then made Cupid stand in front of all of us and apologize. Cupid did just that. He said he was sorry and that he didn't mean to act so snobbish and Lord Hephaestus had made him promise to do his own chores from time to time. Monty and I were the one to step forward and tell him we forgave him and that we knew what newfound freedom was like.

Since then, Cupid has been a pretty good boss. He treats us like allies or maybe even friends. He goes to us for help or sometimes even advice. If he suffers a bad break-up, we check if he needs anything - chocolate, caramel, some coffee, perhaps? - and when he continuously says no, we immediately go and get his mother on the phone. Soon after, we get a visit from Anteros, who gets sent by Lady Aphrodite to try and cheer up his brother. He almost always fails, so I don't know why Lady Aphrodite even bothers. We help the boss on Valentine's Day too and we assist in the defeat of Anti-Cupid, the boss's Anti-God counterpart and ruler of hatred. He's pretty annoying. Always getting in the boss's way jus' cause he's _obsessed _with trying to make his father, Anti-Hephaestus, to be proud of him. Pfft. It's never gonna happen, kid. Stop trying.

So, yeah. Life was pretty good with the boss. And then Juandissimo came along.

The boss befriended him after losing Fairy Idol. The two had sat together after they'd been pulled off stage and had…just talked, apparently. About stuff. Life. Family. Just stuff. I don't know how exactly they got to talking (since the boss won't tell me), but the boss seemed pretty happy when he got home - despite being defeated on live TV. "And trust me," he had said to me after explaining why he had been gone longer then anticipated, "he's _just like my baths!"_

It'd taken me a moment to realize what he'd said and I immediately felt my stomach drop. It wouldn't have been the first time the boss fell for someone that was 'out of his reach', and falling for the 'Spanish lady-killer' only had me worried. And then the guy started _visiting. _Came 'round here at least three times a _week. _Now, don't get me wrong, I like seeing the boss happy. His happiness was one of the reasons I was hired to accompany him to Fairy World. But, honestly, I don't see what everyone else obviously sees in the guy. Alright, his accent is kinda nice. That's it. But the boss liked him a lot, so I guess that's why I put up with him.

And then they started dating.

I didn't trust him when the boss told me they were dating. He was famous as a ladies' man, and I was just waiting for him to turn around and say it'd been one big prank and that he didn't really care for Cupid (wouldn't be the first time that's happened). I mean, really, what big ladies' man suddenly turned around and starting dating another male? I mean, I know the boss is pretty in touch with his feminine side, but geez. It was only after their first Christmas together, when Juandissimo had gotten Cupid that glass rose, that I fully acknowledged that, yes, he did like Cupid and, yes, he was most likely in love with him. That didn't mean I liked him, though. Quite frankly, he was annoying. He continuously insisted he needed to do something for Cupid if he was unwell or stressed and the way he treated the boss angered me. Cupid was the gold medal until Wanda came into view, then Boss was thrown aside like a discarded tissue and Wanda became the gold. I hated how Juandissimo would only notice his mistake when the boss would storm off in a very necessary huff. And then Juandissimo would be on his knees, begging for forgiveness. It took all my might not to strangle him for treating the boss like that. Yeah, I know, Lord Hephaestus and Lady Aphrodite aren't the only ones who can be protective of the boss. Heck, I used to _bathe _that kid.

If I'm honest, I don't like it when the boss gets a new lover, especially one with Juandissimo's flirtatious attitude, because it means another mouth to feed and another person to bother the boss and distract him from work. It also meant (especially in Juandissimo's case) that someone was going to try and do our jobs for us. Boss gets sick? Oh, Juandissimo is suddenly a doctor! Alright, it was sweet that he wanted to help and all, but we coped just _fine _on our own, thank you very much (or shall I say muchas gracias?). But I had to put up with the fact that, yes, the boss would fall in love and, yes, maybe his boyfriend was the most annoying person I've ever met.

The fact that I had helped raise this kid still makes me all warm and fuzzy inside. Lots of people had helped in raising the twins, particularly Cupid. Lord Hephaestus had taught him responsibilities, life lessons and how to catch a good handful of popcorn in his mouth on the first throw; Lady Aphrodite taught him fashion sense, that he would always have someone to talk to when he needed it, that he always had a warm, loving home to return to if he ever wanted to leave Fairy World; Ares and Artemis had both taught him how to fire arrows (Ares couldn't accept that a girl was gonna teach the boss to 'do a man's job'…yeah, Ares is…kinda like _that_…that statement started a life-long rivalry between the two) but they also taught him not to let anyone push him around ("Kid, if anyone bullies ya, even if it's your brother, punch 'em in the face." "Ares!" "What? That's what I did and I turned out just fine."); Hermes taught him how to fly when Anteros had learned to fly before him and the poor boss had gotten impatient; Apollo helped teach him to play piano, tried to train his singing voice and taught him some dance moves ("They'll make the ladies _and _the blokes come runnin'! Ha ha!"); Athena tutored him because, unlike his brother, Cupid had been homeschooled; Poseidon taught him how to swim. Everyone had a part in his upbringing. I like to think that we cherubs taught him to be himself for, whenever he was doubting himself, we were there to guide him.

And now I float in Fairy World's church, watching the boss get married to the love of his life. I watch them kiss - sealing their new marriage - and I admit I feel tears develop in my eyes. There was the kid I helped raise; the kid I had had to yank off the curtains when he was young; the kid I had wanted to strangle whenever he acted spoilt and the kid I would defend no matter what ex tried to break his heart. The spaces around me are full of family from both sides: the boss's and his new spouse.

Lord Hephaestus looks over his shoulder at me as he stands to clap with everybody else (Apollo and Hermes are busy trying to comfort a sobbing Lady Aphrodite, only succeeding in making her cry even more). He smiles at me with a smile of respect, gratefulness and pride, and says, "Nice work, Carl." He flashes me a thumbs up.

I go to bow to him, but then I remember he doesn't like being treated royally, so I show him a thumbs up as well, "Thank you, Lord Hephaestus. Been an honour."

…

**Author's note:**

**Cupid's life told in the point of view of one of his most trusted cherubs.**

…**I almost cried at the end there. **

**Writing **_**The War of Two Cupids **_**got me thinking about the cherubs, so I wrote this. **

**I apologize for a longer wait then usual. A) I was writing **_**The War of Two Cupids **_**b) I got some **_**serious **_**writer's block and c) recently made an account on Tumblr, so I've been addicted to that (I mean, I've been on it for a long time, but I only recently made an account). I also apologize for killing all of your emotions with the last one-shot. Not my intention. **

**XXPiNkPuRpLeXX…do you mean in the afterlife or in the one-shot series altogether? If you mean the afterlife, then no. Hades despises Cupid, so he'll make sure to keep him away from Juan. Not in a 'protective-great-uncle' kind of way, more of a 'I'm-gonna-use-your-depressed-soul-to-mock-your-father-because-I-hate-him-with-a-fiery-passion-which-is-ironic-cause-he's-the-God-of-Fire' kind of way. If you mean the one-shot series altogether…*gestures to end of this one-shot* If you think that's Juandissimo, then it's Juandissimo. If you don't, then it's not. By all means. I left it open. Did he marry Juan? Or is he marrying someone else so we have poor lil' heartbroken Juan? *Shrugs* Carl did say 'love of his life'…Also, with your name…I see what you did there…**

**Gamergirl248, do I have any plans for a wedding story for either Anti-Cupid or Cupid? *Gestures to end of this one-shot* This is kind of one…But I have a story idea of when they're **_**engaged, **_**though that's mainly Cupid being all stressed about the 'big day', while his family members are basically trying to get him to shut up (it's better then I'm making it sound). I have another Juandissimo-Wanda friendshippy one that I need to work on. I also have a tiny idea about the antis' wedding, but that's for later. **

**death mega sega…**_**that…**_**is a **_**very **_**good question. I don't know when Juan will introduce him to his family. Whenever I get 'round to finishing that one-shot, I guess.**

**And, A Beautiful Beast…you **_**like me? **_**Wow. That's good. Someone on the internet likes me. **

…**I'm sorry, can we just take a moment to realize that one of the Twelve Olympians - one of the toughest and most powerful creatures ever - is so afraid of water that he hides underneath the bed when it rains? Dammit, Heph. Why ya gotta be so adorable yet so dorky at the same time? And, for God's sake, 'Why would I do that? It'll come out in the wash.' Dammit, Heph. Get angry for once. Stop being so damn nice. No wonder Ares bullies you…**


	34. No

**Of Pink Hair and Spanish Flair**

**I don't own Fairly Odd Parents. Butch Hartman does.**

**WARNING!: This series is JuandissimoxCupid. Don't like, don't read.**

**Relationship:…It's complicated.**

**Word: No.**

**Before you start reading, I'd like to point out that this one **_**is **_**an AU one-shot, in case you can't tell from the first few lines.**

…

As soon as Juandissimo had laid his purple eyes on him, he knew he wanted him.

Well, maybe that was because he had believed he was a she at first, before being informed by one of his friends that the one he had been staring at during class was not flat-chested just because they were less 'progressed' then other girls, but because they were, well, not a girl. "Ay, caramba…" Juandissimo had said after being corrected on this person's gender, all the while staring at them as they took things from their locker, "_that's _a _man?" _

"Yup." One of his friends had said, "I know. I thought he was a girl too."

"What's his name?"

"Cupid. Look at him, he's not even a fairy. God knows what he's doing in a fairy high school."

"Apparently," another male from Juandissimo's circle of friends had said, "he moved here not long ago and his parents insisted he go to school somewhere. He just…picked here, I guess."

Juandissimo had tilted his head. If this man wasn't a fairy, then what was he? His wings looked almost angel-like and there was no crown floating above his head. Not even some sort of hat. What was on his head, however, was pink hair. Bright pink, like bubblegum or cotton candy and it was curled too. In fact, nearly everything on this man was pink. His shirt was pink and decorated with little red hearts and the hearts on his white shorts were pink. Even his socks and some of the details on his sneakers were pink (and, if Juandissimo peered close enough at his wings, he could see that the feathers were a very, very pale pink - practically white, but still pink).

Nowadays, Juandissimo was very much acquainted with the very feminine man who was in his shape-shifting class. Saw him and spoke to him every day, even if shape-shifting class wasn't a part of his schedule. In fact, it was at lunch that he usually spoke to him.

Juandissimo had first spoken to him in the corridor, when his ex-girlfriend, Wanda, was showing this non-fairy around school, "And this is the gym," Wanda was saying, gesturing to the double doors that led to their gym. The two had turned, only for the new student to smack right into Juandissimo's chest, "And this is Juandissimo." Wanda had said irritably when she saw her ex-boyfriend standing there, with some flirtatious smirk on his face.

Juandissimo smiled as he entered the cafeteria, searching through the crowds with his eyes to try and find the one non-fairy that attended their school. Even if he couldn't spot the head of bright pink hair, he would look for a head of darker pink hair or a head of teal hair, since Cupid often hung around Wanda and the Tooth Fairy. When his eyes finally found the curled pink hair, he grinned and zipped over, enabling him to a little bit of their conversation.

"And then Jorgen just _gave _me the flowers! Isn't that sweet?" the Tooth Fairy was saying.

Cupid shrugged, "I didn't picture Jorgen as the 'flower-type'."

"Oh, but that's not the best part! The best part was when he _handed _me his own _tooth_! Isn't that romantic?"

Cupid and Wanda exchanged awkward glances from across the table, then the fairy stated, "Uh…I guess it is for a tooth fairy…"

The Tooth Fairy sighed dreamily, repeating the memory in her head, and rested her chin in her hand. "We're _so _gonna get married someday…"

"Hey, woah, honey, that's for _me _to decide." Cupid said, waving a hand at her.

"Oh, come on, Cupid. Even _you _can see we're perfect for each other."

"Pfft. Maybe. We'll see how things go." Cupid said, right before digging his fork into…whatever slop was on his plate (he wasn't even sure it was entirely edible).

The Tooth Fairy suddenly looked up, over Cupid's shoulder (as the man sat opposite her) and smirked, "Oh, head's up, Cupid. Your fanboy is here."

Cupid groaned and turned in his chair just as Juandissimo reached them, "Hello, Juandissimo…" Cupid muttered grumpily.

"Hola, Cupido." Juandissimo winked at him and Cupid rolled his eyes. The Spanish fairy waved at Cupid's female companions, "Hola, ladies."

"Hi, Juandissimo." They said in unison, each with completely different tones. Wanda sounded irritated and the Tooth Fairy sounded like she was trying not to giggle at Cupid's facial expression.

"So, what were you discussing before I made my _muy guapo _appearance?" the Spanish man queried, not even asking before spinning the free chair around and sitting down, folding his arms on the back of it.

"We were just discussing whether Jorgen and the Tooth Fairy were perfect for each other or not." Cupid said, frowning at the man next to him, "But you're obviously not interested in that kind of stuff."

"No," Juandissimo agreed, "but I can think of something I _am _interested in." He edged his chair closer to Cupid and Cupid rolled his eyes.

"Right." Cupid said, standing up and eyeing his tray suspiciously, "Well, I'm gonna dump this in the trash. Seriously, what is it?"

The three fairies at the table all leaned over to get a better look at the slop on his tray. "I think it's lamb…" Wanda muttered.

"Really?" Juandissimo said, "I thought it was fish…"

Cupid wrinkled his nose, "Either way, I hate it and I haven't even tasted it." The male floated away, trying to find the nearest trashcan.

Juandissimo suddenly shot up from his seat, "Wait. Hold on a moment, Cupido." He called, floating after him; leaving the Tooth Fairy and Wanda to giggle at Cupid's attempt at escape.

Cupid rolled his eyes as he approached the trashcan, Juandissimo right behind him, "_Yes, _Juan?"

Juandissimo paused and slowly smiled, "You called me Juan."

"As I often do."

"Not many people do."

"How fascinating." Cupid stated sarcastically as he stepped on the little pedal to open up the bin.

Juandissimo cleared his throat, "Anyway, mi amigo, I was wondering if you were doing anything this Saturday."

"I am not, no." Cupid replied as he began scraping whatever slop the lunch lady had tried to feed him into the trashcan.

"Ah. Then perhaps you would like to do something with me."

"Such as?"

"Maybe you'd like to accompany me to _cena._"

"To what?"

"Dinner."

Cupid pretended to ponder, "Yeah, let me think about that. Uh. No."

Juandissimo's lips fell, then lifted again in an awkward smile, "Uh, what?"

"I said no, as I do every time you ask me."

"But think about it, mi Cupido," Juandissimo said, stepping closer to him, trying to get the man to turn around to face him, "you would spend a good two or so hours with me. Does that not sound like heaven?"

"No, actually, it doesn't. Heaven, to me, is bathing in chocolate or caramel, not hanging around with you." Juandissimo frowned slightly at those words, but said nothing as Cupid continued, "Besides, I thought you still liked Wanda."

Juandissimo shrugged. Alright, yeah, he was still quite interested in Wanda, but… "She is dating Cosmo." Juandissimo said, "Besides," the Spanish fairy put his right hand against the wall, blocking one of Cupid's ways of escaping, and leaned down to mutter huskily in his ear, "maybe someone else has been occupying my thoughts."

Cupid snorted, "I don't even wanna know what goes on in your thoughts."

"You might like what goes on in my thoughts."

"Doubt it." Cupid finished scraping off his food (if that was even food) and ducked under Juandissimo's arm, floating over to the counter and placing his empty tray on top of the others.

"Come on, Cupido," Juandissimo said, "one little dinner." He grinned, "And then we can go back to my house. Or yours. Whatever you prefer."

Cupid wrinkled his nose, knowing full-well what Juandissimo was referring to by inviting him back to his house. Juandissimo was a hormonal teenager after all. Cupid turned to him and clapped his hands together, faking delight, "I've got a good idea for this Saturday, Juandissimo!"

Juandissimo looked hopeful, "Really?"

"Uh-huh. You go to _your house _and I'll go to _mine _and _then - _and this is the best part - we _don't talk to each other all weekend! _Doesn't that sound like fun?"

Juandissimo frowned, "That sounds like hell."

"Well, that's another version of my heaven." Cupid frowned, "Seriously, no. I'm not going to go out with you." The man began to float away before Juandissimo stopped him again.

"Wait, Cupido," Juandissimo said, gently touching his wrist.

Cupid huffed and turned to him, "What?"

"Here," Juandissimo held out the brown paper bag Cupid hadn't even noticed him holding.

Cupid eyed it suspiciously, "What is it?"

"Well, you just threw your lunch away - if that was even lunch - so you must be hungry. Here, take it." After seeing the look on Cupid's face, Juandissimo shrugged, "What? I bring a packed lunch, so what? It is better then what they serve here. Besides, it's just a sandwich."

"What? Does it have some sort of love potion in it or something?"

"Ooh. I should have thought of that." Juandissimo muttered and Cupid frowned. "Kidding. No, nothing but my mother's recipe for a good, healthy sandwich."

Cupid stared at him for a moment, checking to see if he was serious, then took the bag from him. "Thanks."

"You are welcome." Juandissimo put his hands behind his back and looked _too _delighted that he had gotten a somewhat positive response, "So, about that dinner…"

"No." Cupid said firmly before turning and floating away, leaving the rejected fairy behind. Cupid huffed as he sat back down in his chair and dumped the bag onto the table, taking the sandwich out.

"Aw," the Tooth Fairy mock-cooed, "he gave you his _sandwich_."

Cupid frowned, "Shut up."

"Let me guess, he asked you out." Wanda spoke up, folding her arms over her chest.

"Yup." Cupid muttered as he unwrapped the sandwich which had previously been cocooned in cling film, "That's the eighty-third time this month, and it's only the second week."

"Just tell 'im you're not interested." The Tooth Fairy shrugged.

Cupid glared, "Don't you think I've tried that? He won't leave me alone. Besides, it's probably just a joke anyway. He's not interested in guys…except himself."

The Tooth Fairy cracked up in giggles and, after a few moments, her friends did too.

…

Well, this sucked.

Cupid held his textbook over his head as he floated through the pouring rain. You'd think his parents would send someone to pick him up from school or at least let him try out for his driver's licence. True, he supposed he could just poof home, but he wasn't allowed to use magic outside of school. Not until he graduated. Besides, he still just getting the hang of the whole wand-waving escape route. Chances were, he would end up miles from his home and have to start floating all over again.

The pink-haired man tried to ignore the headlights that seemed to focus on him and kept on floating, then heard the honk of a car horn. He ignored it.

And then the car pulled up.

Panic arose in Cupid's chest. Oh, God, his brother had tried to freak him out by saying someone was going to kidnap him in Fairy World, but he didn't think that would be true!

And then the window was rolled down and Juandissimo smiled, "Hola, my flower."

Cupid groaned, "Gosh, give me a heart attack, why don't ya?"

"_Lo siento, _mi amor. So, what is _mi hermoso perla _doing out here in the rain?"

"Uh," Cupid's curl flopped over his eyes and he lifted it with one hand, "getting wet?"

"Ah." Juandissimo nodded, still smiling at him flirtatiously. He patted the car door, "Hop in."

"Ah, no, thanks." Cupid said and began to float down the street.

Juandissimo drove his car forward a little to keep up with him. Cupid didn't look at him as Juandissimo leaned out of the window, "Come on, Cupido, it is freezing out here. You'll catch a cold."

"Good. Then maybe I'll be away from you for a couple of days."

Juandissimo's lips fell, "That isn't very nice."

"I'm not in a very nice mood. Now, leave me alone."

"I'm just trying to help."

"I don't want your help."

Juandissimo shrugged, "Ok. If that is the way you want it. Happy trudging." The Spanish fairy began to roll up the window.

Cupid stared at the slowly decreasing space between window and pane. He was giving up a nice, warm, _dry _car? Cupid gulped as he watched the space get smaller and smaller - "Wait, Juandissimo."

Juandissimo peeked through the space, "Yes?"

"…Take me home. _Straight home._"

"Of course."

Cupid frowned at him as he smirked, then floated around to the other side of the car. Juandissimo pushed the door open and Cupid climbed in, slamming the door shut behind him, "_Straight home, _Magnifico."

"Of course. Where else would I take you?"

Cupid didn't even want to answer that and instead grumbled the directions to his house. The pink-haired passenger crossed his arms and frowned, gazing out the window. There was an awkward silence, since the radio wasn't playing, then Cupid spoke up, "Didn't know you could drive…"

"Hm? Oh, si. Papa gave me this for my last birthday. Passed my driver's test with flying colours, as they say."

"Why do fairies even have cars? Aren't you used to floating around everywhere?"

Juandissimo shrugged, "Our wings get tired sometimes. Besides, this is much quicker. Turn left here, right?"

"Yep. Mind if I take off my shoes?"

"Be my guest."

Cupid kicked off his sneakers, then sighed in relief, "Stupid rules…I have to wear shoes _and _shorts at school!" He stretched his legs out, pointing his toes, "The socks are kinda cosy though…"

"What? You don't wear shoes and pants where you come from?"

Cupid frowned, "Some people do. I usually wear diapers myself." He suddenly stopped and stared in alarm, only just realizing that had passed his lips. "Uh…"

"Hey, I don't judge." Juandissimo shrugged. "Is this your house?"

Cupid looked out of Juandissimo's window at his pink mansion, "Yup. That's it."

"Hm. You live in style."

"Yeah, well, I'm kind of a big deal." Cupid picked up his sneakers, "Well…thanks for driving me home, I guess."

"My pleasure. It was an honour to have such a 'big deal' in my car."

Cupid frowned, "Whatever." He opened the door to get out.

"Hold on, Cupido."

Cupid looked over his shoulder, "Hm?"

"About that Saturday…"

"No."

The door was slammed behind him.

…

Cupid opened up his locker, dumping some of his books inside then taking out his books for shape-shifting class. As he piled them into his satchel, he frowned. Oh, he knew that smell of cologne anywhere.

Three…two…one…

"Hola, Cupido."

Cupid huffed as Juandissimo suddenly leaned against the locker next to him, arms crossed and smirking at him with that _smirk _of his. Cupid looked at him, "Hi, Juandissimo. What do you want?"

"For you to spend your Saturday with me?"

Cupid frowned at him, "No."

"Oh, come on, Cupido," Juandissimo said, "you know you want to."

"If I really wanted to, I would've said yes." Cupid slammed his locker shut and floated down the corridor, only for Juandissimo to zip after him; blocking his way. "Do you mind?"

"Just hear me out," Juandissimo told him, using a calming hand gesture, "please." Cupid rolled his eyes and huffed. "Even you can see we are clearly made for each other."

"And how did you come to that conclusion?"

"Well," Juandissimo wrapped an arm around him, bringing him closer, "Just look at us! Two sexy 'odd-one-outs'!"

"'Odd-one-outs', are we?"

"Si. I am a Spaniard amongst Americans and _you _are not even a _fairy_! You are a…uh…"

Cupid's eyes narrowed, "You don't know what I am, do you?"

"Uh…" Juandissimo peered at him, "…don't tell me…"

Cupid rolled his eyes, "You've been asking me out for ages and you don't even know what I am?"

"Well, to me, you've always been an angel."

Cupid clicked his tongue, "I'll give you a hint: Mt. Olympus."

Juandissimo's smile slowly dropped, "…You're a -"

"I'm a _God, _you _idiot. _The God of _Love. Duh._" Cupid began to float passed him, managing to shrug his arm off. Juandissimo watched him, then quickly zipped back over to him. Cupid huffed as Juandissimo blocked his way again, "What?"

"This makes us even _more _perfect for each other, then!" Juandissimo said happily, "I am a Love God and you are the God of Love! This makes us soulmates, no?"

"No. It makes you an egotistic weirdo who has nothing better to do then pull pranks."

"Uh…what?"

"I know what you're doing, Juan. You're not interested in guys. This is just a joke, isn't it? I bet one of your friends dared you to do this. It's not the first time this has happened."

Juandissimo stared at him uncomfortably. Alright, one of his friends hadn't _dared _him to do it. They had teased him about it, since Cupid had pink hair, which was apparently 'right up his ally' and they had told him "I bet you can't get him to date you by the end of the year", but it hadn't been a solid bet. Just a remark. "No…" Juandissimo said awkwardly, "And, besides, how do you know what I like?"

"I'm _Cupid. _I know what _everyone _likes." The God began pointing at random people, muttering, "Men, women, men, men, women, women, women, men, men…" under his breath. Juandissimo watched as Cupid suddenly pointed at him, "Women. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to get to class." He floated passed the Spanish fairy, only for Juandissimo to follow him, "Quit following me."

"I'm not. We have the same class." Juandissimo shrugged. "Unless you want me to walk you to class…"

"No, thanks." Cupid said.

Juandissimo's smile dropped. How on earth could Cupid reject him so many times? If he was the God of Love, then he was powered by love, right? So dating Juandissimo would not only fill him with more energy but make him happy at the same time! Besides, no doubt Cupid was at least attracted to him. He was just pretending, Juandissimo knew that. Wanda had tried to do the same thing (at least, he was positive that's what she had been doing).

Cupid would come around.

…

But if there were two people who knew Cupid better then Cupid (other then his parents, but Juandissimo wasn't even going to think of trying that), it was Wanda and the Tooth Fairy. Heavens knows how Cupid had managed to make friends with them. Then again, Wanda seemed pretty friendly with him when she was showing him around school and the Tooth Fairy always wanted to keep up with the gossip, so a girly, non-fairy male joining their school had probably interested her.

Juandissimo found them outside by the football field. The Tooth Fairy's eyes were focused completely on Jorgen Von Strangle, who was doing wand-ups on the field. Wanda was reading a book since Cosmo was no where to be found (Juandissimo guessed he was probably being shoved into a locker somewhere). Juandissimo floated up to them, "Hola, ladies."

Wanda looked up from her book, then nudged the Tooth Fairy to get her attention. "Huh?" The Tooth Fairy muttered, finally taking her eyes off of Jorgen, "Oh, Juandissimo. Hi. Cupid's not here."

"Uh, I know." Juandissimo said, knowing that Cupid had gotten detention after back sassing a teacher, using the whole 'I'm a God' excuse to try and get her to stop yelling at him. "I actually wanted to talk to you two."

"What? Cupid reject you so many times you've given up?" the Tooth Fairy guessed sarcastically, "Because I'm already taken."

"Yeah. Me too." Wanda added, briefly wondering where Cosmo had gotten to.

"Uh, actually, I wanted to ask you something. I will just be blunt: why won't Cupid date me?" It had almost come out in a whine, which he hadn't meant to do, but he ignored it and waited for their answer.

The Tooth Fairy and Wanda looked at each other, then looked back at him, "You really wanna date him that bad?" The Tooth Fairy asked.

"Si. Anyone with eyes can see he and I are meant for each other!"

The girls glanced at each other again, then looked back at him, "Everyone except two people," Wanda said.

Juandissimo crossed his arms, "And who would that be?"

"Cupid and his boyfriend."

"Pfft. Cupid and his - Wait, what?" Juandissimo's arm dropped.

"He's already taken, Juandissimo." The Tooth Fairy shrugged, "That's why he's been rejecting you. He's got a boyfriend."

Juandissimo felt his heart shatter into tiny pieces. Cupid wasn't single? He had someone? A _guy? _Juandissimo looked down at his feet as his shoulders sagged.

"Sorry, Juandissimo." Wanda said.

"If it's any consolation, his boyfriend's a jerk." The Tooth Fairy shrugged, "You might still have a chance with 'im."

"…Right…" Juandissimo muttered miserably. "Uh, _gracias _for telling me…"

"You're…welcome, I guess." Wanda muttered awkwardly as Juandissimo floated away.

The Spanish fairy floated through the corridors of their school, hands in his pockets. He had no idea Cupid was already taken. He was sure the God was single! He'd never mentioned any man, neither had Juandissimo ever seen him with anyone! Juandissimo sighed miserably. There went his chances of having Cupid on his arm…

As he floated passed a locker, he suddenly stopped and ripped open the door; revealing the green-haired fairy inside. Juandissimo grabbed hold of the front of his shirt and pulled him out of the locker, just as Cosmo exclaimed, "Don't kill me! I'm too young to die!"

Juandissimo deposited him on the ground, "Wanda's looking for you." He muttered to the fairy, who only stared confusedly as Juandissimo floated away. Realizing what his rival had told him, Cosmo zipped off to find his girlfriend.

Just as Juandissimo turned the corner, a door flew open and Cupid floated out, looking absolutely peeved. Juandissimo hesitated. Should he go and talk to him? Cupid looked like he would bite his head off, but it was worth a shot, right? "Uh, hi, Cupid."

Cupid looked over his shoulder at him, then frowned, "Oh, _just _what I needed…"

"Wait. I just want to talk."

"Hm-mm. You always do."

"I'm sorry."

Cupid paused, then stared at him, "What?"

"I said I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For…you know, bothering you all the time. I didn't know you were…with someone…"

Cupid crossed his arms, "And how did you find out?"

"Wanda and the Tooth Fairy told me. So…is he nice?"

Cupid shrugged, "I guess. I haven't seen him in about two weeks. He doesn't go to this school."

_Right. I've heard that one before, _Juandissimo thought, "Well…how long have you been together…?"

"Couple of months. Why?"

"Just, uh, just wondering…" Juandissimo looked away from him, then looked back to the God, "Say, hypothetically, that he _rompió con usted - _uh, I mean, broke up with you, say, next week, _then _would you date me?"

Cupid frowned, "No."

"W-What?"

"I said no."

Juandissimo's brow furrowed, "Why not?"

Cupid felt his face redden with anger. Now, Cupid had just finished being scolded for no reason by some old lady known as his shape-shifting teacher (who insisted he was the worst student she'd ever had, besides Cosmo), so he was in no mood for Juandissimo's antics, "You wanna know why I won't date you, Juan?"

"Si."

"Because I know your type." Cupid snapped, storming up to him, "You're one of those bad boys who don't care about people, so long as _you _look nice! You walk around, grabbing any girl you want, dating them for two days tops and then dumping them just because you've gotten bored! Then you see something else you like and want _that _too!"

"Cupid, I -"

"And then you look upon the last person you dated and mock them for ever thinking you liked them! I _know _men like you! I'm just another _prize _to you! You don't even _like _guys, besides _yourself! _I won't date you because you, Juandissimo, are a _poser!"_

Juandissimo stared at him in awkward silence as Cupid panted in anger. The Spanish fairy's brow creased, "Cupido -"

"_What?"_

"…I would never mock you, nor get bored of you."

Cupid's scowl slowly dropped. With that, Juandissimo turned and floated away, head hung in rejection. The God watched him go, feeling a patch of guilt develop in his gut. Digging a hand into his pocket, he brought out his cell phone and flipped it open. No new texts or missed calls. None from this 'nice, I guess' boyfriend of his. He frowned, then looked in the direction Juandissimo had floated off in.

Maybe it wasn't Juandissimo who was the 'poser' in all of this.

…

The next day, Juandissimo was with his circle of friends in the cafeteria, but he barely joined in with their conversations. Pfft. Poser. He wasn't a poser, was he? No, of course he wasn't. He was just a sexy, Spanish fairy who was attending school to further master his magic. Cupid was…he was just being uptight. Yeah, that's right. That's all. In denial, too. Yep. Cupid was in denial. Denying his feelings for Juandissimo. Yup. That was it.

One of Juandissimo's friends paused and looked over the Spanish fairy's shoulder, then nudged the male sitting next to him. Juandissimo was oblivious to this and continued staring down at the table.

"Say, hypothetically,"

Juandissimo's head snapped up and he turned in his chair, only to see Cupid floating there, arms crossed. The God continued, "that I dumped my 'good-for-nothing, supposed-to-pick-me-up-after-school-everyday-but-never-does' boyfriend yesterday and that, hypothetically, I _was _free this Saturday…are _you _free this Saturday?"

Juandissimo stared at him, then his eyes became half-lidded, "No."

Cupid's lips fell and his eyebrows raised in alarm. He saw Juandissimo's friends snigger quietly to themselves and looked down at his feet in embarrassment, "Oh…right…uh…see ya…" He quickly floated away, hands buried in his pockets.

Before he could even get close to Wanda and the Tooth Fairy, however, someone grabbed his arm. Cupid turned, only to see Juandissimo there, a sparkle in his eyes and a smile on his face, "What I meant was, no, I'm not free," Cupid shrank back slightly and Juandissimo pulled the God's hands from his pockets and took them in his own hands, "I will be too busy having a magnificent dinner with mi amor." He lifted Cupid's hands and kissed the knuckles, watching the God's face as he did so.

Cupid smiled at him, blushing a deep pink.

"_Ooh!"_

Cupid almost jumped out of his skin and looked over at the Tooth Fairy, who was floating nearby. Wanda was floating next to her, a hand slapped to her forehead at how loud her friend was being. The Tooth Fairy sang out to them, _"Cupid and Juandissimo, sitting in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G!"_

Juandissimo chuckled as Cupid tried to hide himself in embarrassment, "Uh…just ignore her…"

Juandissimo grinned at him, "No." Then the Spaniard took his hand, gave his own friends a two-fingered salute, then floated away with Cupid to spend lunch with his date's friends.

…

**Author's note:**

**Wow. This turned out different then expected…I like it.**

**Teenage!Cupid in this is different to teenage!Cupid mentioned in Loyalty, but I guess that's just because this teenage!Cupid goes to school. Loyalty's teenage!Cupid **_**certainly **_**wouldn't reject Juan. He's just like his baths!**

**It feels like I haven't written about Juan in ages. Feels good to write about my second favourite FOP character again.**

**XXPiNkPuRpLeXX, I'm glad you're happy.**

**And, unknown20troper, on Tumblr, I am known as a-plate-full-of-nothing. I'm sorry, I forgot to put it in the last author's note. Now everybody knows. **


	35. Nightmare

**Of Pink Hair and Spanish Flair**

**I don't own Fairly Odd Parents. Butch Hartman does.**

**WARNING!: This series is about JuandissimoxCupid. Don't like, don't read.**

**Relationship: Lovers.**

**Word: Nightmare.**

…

Cupid is in his kitchen, sorting out a cup of coffee, when he hears the doors to his home slam. The sound makes him jump and he looks over his shoulder. Sometimes, if Juandissimo ever has a bad day at work, he takes his anger out on the doors by slamming them as hard as he can. But this time is different. As the doors slam, the lights go out; snuffed out like candles. Cupid blinks several times, trying to get his eyes adjusted to the darkness, "Juan?"

There is no reply.

Cupid reaches into his pocket and retrieves his wand, holding it up into the darkness. The star lights up, allowing him a little light, and he uses it as a torch; checking different parts of the room, "Juan? Is that you?"

There is still no reply.

"Pretty sure I paid the electricity bill…" Cupid mutters and, unless his father had not fixed the wires up as well as he thought, this should not be happening. Perhaps it is just a power outage. Cupid briefly wonders if all of Fairy World is experiencing the same thing. Cupid looks over to the kitchen doorway and gulps when he realizes the real problem here: someone is in his house. "Juandissimo?" He calls out again, hoping that his Spanish boyfriend will appear at any second. "Juan? Come on, this isn't funny. Turn the lights back on."

That must be it. Juandissimo is joking around with him again. Yup, that's it. Juandissimo is responsible. Cupid knows he is just telling himself this because he is getting scared, but it relaxes him a little so he decides to believe that, yes, this is another one of Juandissimo's pranks. His boyfriend will appear in a moment and Cupid will have a right go at him.

And then he hears footsteps.

Cupid gulps. Juandissimo - like every other fairy - usually floats, but sometimes decides to use the legs he was born with to move forward rather then his wings. But the footsteps are heavier then that of an adult fairy's. Even if Juandissimo has had a bad day, he is not able to stomp _that _loudly. "Juan?" Cupid calls out again. The God begins to step forward, lightly and hesitantly, toward the doorway; continuing to hold his wand up like a light. As the God steps into the living room, he immediately scans the darkness with his eyes. His eyes make out the walls and the sofa and the stairs. "Juan?" He calls out again. Cupid only just now notices that his cherubs are also no where to be found, "Monty? Carl? You guys there?"

His most trusted cherubs do not reply. They are not there.

"Juandissimo, I'm serious. This isn't funny." He clings on to the theory that this is a prank and Juandissimo will jump out of the shadows at any moment. The footsteps have stopped by now too and Cupid wonders if, perhaps, Jorgen Von Strangle is somehow involved in this prank. The footsteps sound like they could be from his shoes. Cupid gulps again, "Jorgen…? That you?…Look, I'm sorry for threatening to get my uncle down here, but you asked for it…Jorgen? J-Juandissimo? Come on, guys, this isn't funny…" Cupid swallows the lump in his throat and thinks of one more person who would, perhaps, try to scare him, "Anteros? Is that you? Come on, this isn't funny, brother…I'll tell Mom and Dad." He knows this is a childish threat, but his brother is still living with their parents, so they can still punish him - and their parents really know how to punish their children.

And then Cupid notices the figure beside the sofa.

He gulps. It is too tall to be Juandissimo or Anteros (unless they have used magic to make themselves - or some other thing - taller) and too thin to be Jorgen. The head is shaped differently then Jorgen's as well, but it is familiar… "Dad?" Cupid asks. He sees the outline of his father - or what he hopes is his dear dad. "Is…Is that you?"

It makes sense. Hephaestus is about Jorgen's height (or maybe a little bit taller. Cupid has never exactly measured them or anything. Besides, they're both huge compared to him). And Hephaestus's shoes would probably sound like that on Cupid's floor (his father has not visited him in months, so he couldn't recall what the noise of his dad's shoes on his floor sounded like). Cupid couldn't think of any reason for his father being there though, except… "Are you here to fix the lights?"

When he gets no reply, Cupid looks up and down his father's figure. Perhaps there is a reason for him being so silent. Maybe he is wounded. "Dad?" And then Cupid sees the thing his father is holding in his right hand: a cane. He thinks that is what is, anyway. Cupid's brow creases. His father does not carry a cane. "…Apollo?" He asks, just in case. The figure doesn't look like Apollo, but he knows the God carries a cane with him most of the time. Cupid squints as he makes out the cane in the darkness. It is not question mark-shaped. This person is not Apollo. "…Great-uncle Hades?" It is silly for Cupid to assume this because Hades' staff is taller then that. Besides, Hades does not come out of the Underworld unless he needs to. This person is not great-uncle Hades. Cupid stares at the cane in their hand. It is long and thin. He guesses it is black because he cannot make out any other colour. His eyes travel up the cane and he sees there is something shiny perched on top, half covered by the person's hand. The shiny thing is a diamond as big as his father's palm and Cupid begins to tremble. Only one person carries a cane with a diamond perched on top.

Cupid does not need the light of his wand to see the lips pull back in a grin, revealing the array of sharp, shark teeth. The eyes flick open and blood-red irises bore into Cupid's soul.

Cupid's greatest fear is in his house. This is scarier then any mouse or spider he has ever faced.

Cupid steps back. "Y…You're not allowed to be here…Y…You're not allowed on the other side of the gate…"

A laugh is let out. The person speaks in a voice that is similar to that of Cupid's father, "Looks like _Daddy _didn't build the gate up to scratch, eh?"

Cupid's trembling becomes more violent. It is completely up to Hephaestus on how strong the gate leading to the most diabolical anti-race is. Cupid steps back, away from the intruder. "You…you can't hurt me…"

"Can't I?" The question is sarcastic.

"Y…You can't…"

"I assure you that I can." The grins widens and the eyes fill with glee, "And I _will._"

Cupid runs. He runs towards the stairs, dropping his wand in his panic. He curses himself for being so clumsy. Before he can reach the stairs, they disappear. He skids to a halt and watches as his house begins to disappear, covered by the shadows that seem to be seeping down the walls. His house is gone and he is left in an area of complete darkness. Still, he runs. He does not get far before his greatest fear's fingers close around both of his legs at once and he is trapped. Cupid falls and his chin hit's the invisible floor. The God can only attempt to cling to the floor as he is dragged toward the hole in the floor that his fear is now disappearing through.

Hope sparks within him when he sees another figure. This one is not clouded within the darkness, "Dad!"

His father looks over his shoulder at him, a neutral expression upon features that are usually kind and gentle. "Dad! Help me!" Cupid calls desperately as he is dragged backwards. He can feel his feet disappearing through the hole now, "Dad!" He digs into the floor with his fingernails, but they do nothing to stop him from being dragged, "Dad, please!"

His father stares over his shoulder. His neutral expression turns into one of disgust as he gazes upon his son. Then Hephaestus turns and walks and never looks back.

Cupid gasps and feels tears develop in his eyes, "Dad! Please, help me! Dad! Dad!"

His lower body is disappearing now. It is like he is being pulled into black quicksand. He clings desperately onto the floor and his body numbs when he realizes that his father no longer cares.

Someone steps into the light beside him. Cupid looks to the shoe that has just appeared, then his eyes follow the leg up onto the body then to the head. It is a long shot, but he is desperate. "Anti-Cupid!" He pleads to his counterpart, who stands before him, grinning at his despair. "Please, help me." His upper body is disappearing now and he feels the darkness around his neck. "Please…" One hand is still gripping at the invisible floor.

Anti-Cupid looks down at him, then smirks, "Feel the pain _I _once endured when _my _father stopped loving _me_." And he stomps down on Cupid's only remaining hand, making it release the floor.

Cupid gasps as he is swallowed by the darkness, dragged down by his greatest fear. His hand still reaches for the air, for any hand that may grip his, then disappears with the rest of his body.

He screams as he is pulled down to hell.

…

Cupid is laying down now. He is kicking and flailing and he cannot stop. Something is on his wrists, pinning them down on either side of his head, and he struggles to get free. His eyes are tightly shut in both fear and half-drowsiness. He is on the line that separates dreams and reality; sleep and awake; unconsciousness and consciousness. Someone is calling to him. He is too scared to listen. Their voice gets louder.

Cupid's vision is now blurry and fuzzy. The room is dim. His body is cold. There are two purple orbs above him, each with a black dot in the middle of them. The things on his wrists are warm and he recognises the feeling of fingers curled around them. The voice becomes clearer, "Cupido! Wake up! Cupido!" It is urgent yet somewhat gentle. It is not an order, it is a plea.

Cupid's eyes suddenly snap open. Everything is clear now. The room is dim because of the lamps on both of the bedside tables; his body is cold because of the layer of sweat that had developed during his sleep and the two purple orbs with the black dots in the middle belong to his boyfriend, who looks worried and perhaps somewhat scared. Cupid pants as his illusions disappear. He can only stare as his boyfriend stays above him, pinning his wrists down with both hands. "Ay, caramba…" Juandissimo mutters, "You were kicking me in your sleep. You kept calling for Señor Hephaestus too…"

Cupid feels the tears begin to seep out of his eyes and suddenly sits up, forcing his boyfriend to let him go and kneel back on the bed to avoid their heads colliding. Juandissimo stares as Cupid continues to pant, to catch his breath. The God runs a hand his hair. He tries to cover up the droplets that begin to pour from his eyes by wiping them discreetly with his sleeves. Juandissimo tilts his head. Cupid waves a hand at him, "I'm fine…"

"Mi amor, you and I both know you are not fine." Juandissimo says.

Cupid shakes his head, "I am. I'm fine."

Juandissimo shakes his head as well. He reaches out, almost hesitantly, making sure it is ok before scooping Cupid into his arms. Juandissimo sits there, cross-legged, and does not even flinch as Cupid captures his shirt in a vice-like grip. "You are _not _fine. Talk to me, please."

Cupid shakes his head, not because he doesn't want to talk but because he cannot describe it. He does not want to name his greatest fear. "You were saying my name," Juandissimo says, "Jorgen's too. And Anteros…Did we hurt you?"

Cupid shakes his head, "Not you. Someone else…"

"Who?"

Cupid hesitates. Should he tell him? "…The Anti-Cupid." Juandissimo's curiosity is too strong. If Cupid were to mention his greatest fear's part in this, Juandissimo would keep asking questions. Cupid is not ready for that.

"You've never feared him before."

"This time was different."

Juandissimo holds him tighter, so tight that the side of Cupid's head is now pressed to his boyfriend's chest and he hears Juandissimo's heart thumping in his ribcage. "Now, what could he have possibly done to upset you so?"

"He…he just…I can't explain it. I don't remember." That is a lie. He remembers it well.

_Feel the pain I once endured when my father stopped loving me._

Juandissimo plants a kiss on top of Cupid's head, "I would never let him hurt you. I would never let _anything _hurt you, Cupido. You are too _precioso _to me."

Cupid pulls himself closer to his boyfriend (if that is even possible). He does not know what that word means, but it has been said by Juandissimo, so it must mean something fairly romantic. A small smile graces Cupid's lips. Of course he is safe. He has the protection of the Gods, of Fairy World and - more importantly - of his loving boyfriend, who is always at his side; especially when he needs him. Really, when has Juandissimo never been at his side when Cupid needed him most? They have been through too much - Eliminators, the Darkness, Anti-Gods and anti-fairies - to let anything stand against them now.

Juandissimo listens to Cupid's part of the conversation he is having with his father on the phone. It is brief because the older God is tired, but that does not stop him showing concern and even offering to go to Fairy World (in the middle of the night!) to comfort his son. "It's ok, Dad," Cupid says as Juandissimo lifts his free hand to kiss at the fingers, "Juandissimo's got that under control."

Once the conversation is over and the phone is put down, Juandissimo gets Cupid to lay down. The fairy lays next to him and pulls the blanket up for the God, then immediately wraps his arms around his boyfriend; holding him to his chest. Cupid plays with a lock of Juandissimo's long, black hair (the fairy is wearing his hair down tonight) as Juandissimo looks worriedly at him, "Feel any better? Do you want me to go and get you some coffee?"

Cupid shakes his head as he twirls Juandissimo's hair on one of his fingers, "No. This is perfect."

It is perfect because reality is back. It is perfect because the lights work. It is perfect because he has been reassured by his own father that the man who helped give him life still loves him and would certainly save him from impending doom. It is perfect because the two people he despises most are gone. It is especially perfect because his boyfriend does not mock him nor think of him as silly for being afraid of an illusion in the mind nor does he leave him to 'man up'. This boyfriend of his does not leave his side for more then two seconds until he is completely sure that Cupid is ok. Even then, he continues to stay by him, just because he can and wants to.

Finally, Cupid falls asleep again, only to dream of the perfect Valentine's Day (_their _Valentine's Day, on February fifteenth).

…

**Author's note:**

**You can work out who that was in Cupid's nightmare, can't you? Of course you can. You're a smart bunch.**

**Tried present tense, since it just felt like this one-shot needed to be in present tense. I'm not used to this tense, so there's probably some mistakes in there somewhere. Far too used to past tense, that's me. **

**HamTheWolf, I've gotten you into this pairing?…My work here is done. *Walks back into the shadows***


	36. Dance

**Of Pink Hair and Spanish Flair**

**I don't own Fairly Odd Parents. Butch Hartman does.**

**WARNING!: This series is about JuandissimoxCupid. Don't like, don't read.**

**Relationship: Lovers.**

**Word: Dance.**

…

It was at least midnight, and Juandissimo stood in the doorway to Cupid's study, arms crossed as he watched Cupid. The God was sitting at his desk, hunched over and scribbling words furiously onto the pages of some book. Juandissimo sighed through his nose and ran a hand through his hair. He felt a chill run up his arms, since he was only dressed in his boxers and sleeveless shirt. Cupid yawned for the millionth time and Juandissimo sighed, "Cupido, come to bed."

"No." Cupid snapped, "I have to get this done."

"You can finish it in the morning. Or, later, as it were…" Juandissimo added, looking to the digital clock as it changed to 00:02.

"Juan, please. If I don't get this done now, Valentine's Day is gonna be a disaster."

"You have _weeks _to plan Valentine's Day."

"Exactly! _Weeks! _I'm behind schedule!"

"Cupido…" Juandissimo groaned then floated over to him and put his hands to his shoulders, beginning to rub them gently, "Let the cherubs do it."

"No! _I _have to! _I'm _Cupid!"

"And I'm Juandissimo, who is tired of seeing you stress yourself." Juandissimo said, "Please, come to bed."

"No." Cupid snapped again as he turned a page in his planning book.

Juandissimo sighed. He supposed he could just poof Cupid to bed, but the last time he had poofed Cupid somewhere without his consent they had ended up arguing. Cupid glanced at him out of the corner of his eye, "If you're so tired, you go to bed."

"But I won't be able to sleep without you beside me."

"Well, that's sweet," Cupid said angrily as he pushed Juandissimo's hands off, "but you're gonna have to try."

Juandissimo sighed through his nose impatiently, but didn't say anything more as he floated out of the room. Cupid had been like this for the last few days, zipping around, insisting he didn't have time for cuddles or kisses because he had some all-important piece of work to get through. He had skipped a few meals too, which was just the start of Juandissimo's worry. When Cupid had begun refusing to sleep was when Juandissimo finally spoke up. It was also when Cupid had begun snapping at him, obviously cranky from his lack of sleep. The only part of him that still normal was the fact that he was gulping coffee down 24/7 in an attempt to keep himself awake.

As he climbed into bed, Juandissimo sighed and stared up at the ceiling. This was seriously beginning to affect Cupid's health. Dark circles had already began developing under his eyes and his hair and clothes were all messed up. He probably hadn't showered in awhile, too. Juandissimo's nose wrinkled at the thought.

This had to stop. Cupid's lack of sleep was now affecting Juandissimo's sleep schedule, since the Spanish fairy stayed awake in case Cupid joined him in bed. Juandissimo continued to stare at the ceiling. The main problem here was that Cupid was incredibly stressed about all this work. Get rid of the stress and Cupid would come to bed earlier. Juandissimo bit his lip as he pondered. What would be the best way to relieve Cupid of all that stress? He supposed he could massage him, but he had already tried that and Cupid had just pushed him away. Besides, he wouldn't be able to get the God to lay down long enough to properly massage him. Juandissimo's brow furrowed in thought, then everything clicked. The fairy began to smile as an idea developed in his head. Tomorrow morning (or, later that morning, Juandissimo noted as he looked to the clock and saw 00:10), Juandissimo would make all that stress go away with a method he called his very own.

…

Sometime in the early morning, the door to Cupid's study opened and the exhausted God of Love floated out, his mug in one hand. He would be working, but he needed a coffee refill. He hadn't even gone to bed last night. Oh, well, at least this work would be done soon. Then Juandissimo could stop pestering him about going to bed. Gosh, didn't Juandissimo understand that his job was important and therefore needed to get finished as quickly as possible? It was as important as Jorgen's job of keeping the fairies in line! Probably even more important! Pfft. Juandissimo just had to get his priorities in check.

As Cupid went to float into the kitchen, he almost jumped out of his skin as Latin music suddenly began playing and the lights were dimmed. The God looked around confusedly until he spotted his Spanish lover. Cupid huffed and rolled his eyes, "Juan, not now."

Juandissimo smirked at him, ignoring his words. The Spanish fairy - dressed in a puffy red shirt, black pants, black dance shoes and a black sombrero cordobés with a red ribbon - took up a dance position. Cupid frowned, "I mean it, Juan. I'm _not _in the _mood._"

Juandissimo ignored his words once more and instead danced over to him, gently taking hold of his hand. Cupid huffed and ripped his hand away, beginning to float away from his lover, but Juandissimo took hold of his arm and pulled him back; spinning him around then wrapping an arm around his waist. Cupid lost his grip on his mug, but Juandissimo caught it with his left hand before it could hit the ground. The fairy placed it on a nearby shelf then, as Cupid looked up at him, smirked flirtatiously. Cupid continued to frown at him, "_Juan, _I _said _I'm _not in the mood._"

"Well then," Juandissimo said, pulling Cupid closer to him until there was but a tiny space between their bodies, "we will have to get you into the mood, no?"

"_No._" Cupid said, "I have work to do." The God managed to get out of his lover's grasp and began to make his escape, but Juandissimo took hold of his wrist and pulled him back.

"You can do that later."

"_Juan!_"

"Cupid." Juandissimo pulled him into the centre of the room, where a spotlight hung over them.

Cupid huffed, "Juan, I don't have time for this. I need to get back to work."

Juandissimo pulled him close, taking Cupid's right hand in his left one. Using his right hand, Juandissimo pulled Cupid's hips to his. Cupid looked down at their bodies then up at his lover, "Well, this is snug, but I've gotta go."

Juandissimo leaned down so that their foreheads were almost touching, "Are you going to talk or _dance?_"

Cupid's eyes narrowed, "What about 'work'? Is _that _an option?"

"No."

Cupid huffed, "You can be so annoying sometimes."

"Then why do you love me so much?"

"Good question."

Juandissimo smirked and stepped back, bringing Cupid along with him. It was a simple movement, but it made Cupid trip over his own two feet. "Juan, you know I can't dance."

"Not when you're so tired, no." Juandissimo said, "Just follow my lead. You'll get it."

"Juan…" Cupid groaned, but Juandissimo was already off in a dance; pulling Cupid along with him. The God tripped a couple of times, but Juandissimo was right there to catch him. Cupid looked down at their feet, watching Juandissimo's and trying to match his steps. Juandissimo was so damn used to dancing like this, he was going too fast. A couple of times Cupid had stepped on Juandissimo's foot, but the fairy had paid no mind to it; not only because that would upset Cupid but because he was wearing shoes while his lover was - as usual - bare foot. Cupid dared not raise his head to look at Juandissimo. "I've just found another thing I've inherited from Dad: the inability to dance." Cupid said, wincing as he accidentally stepped on Juandissimo's foot for what seemed like the millionth time.

"It is just because you're tired." Juandissimo said. He released one of Cupid's hands to tilt his chin up, forcing the God to meet his gaze. "Stop looking at the floor. Focus on me."

Cupid's eyebrows knitted together. "You'd think I'd be used to this, we've been together for years. That, and dancing is a way to display love." He let go of Juandissimo's hand to point at himself, "Hello, God of Love here."

"You are purposely distracting yourself." Juandissimo noted, "Stop talking."

"I am not -"

"You're doing fine. Relax."

Juandissimo could sense that Cupid was beginning to get even more stressed, so he pressed a kiss to his forehead. When Cupid raised his eyes to look at him again, frowning in impatience, Juandissimo winked at him. That seemed to soothe some of Cupid's anger, since his facial expression turned to one of relaxation.

When his lover twirled him around once more, Cupid shut his eyes briefly and sighed through his nose, letting it all melt away. That was it. It was all gone. No work, no deadlines. It was only Juandissimo, the music and him. Strangely - but thankfully - shutting his eyes and letting it all go didn't make him step on his partner's foot anymore, nor did he trip over once. Quite the contrary, it improved his movements until he was almost as graceful as the man holding him, who had been dancing for almost all of his life.

The two spun around the living room in a waltz as the music continued to play around them, a perfect combination of guitars, violins and some other instruments Cupid couldn't quite name at the current moment. Their movements were strong yet graceful and they mirrored each other. As Juandissimo twirled Cupid around, he smirked. Mission almost accomplished. The stress was gone and Cupid was smiling, even on the edge of grinning. He even heard him giggle slightly a couple of times. Good. Perfect. Juandissimo stopped his partner's twirling and pulled him to his chest, then almost immediately lowering him into a dip so low, Cupid's head was almost touching the floor. Once realizing his partner hadn't brought him back up, Cupid let his eyes open slightly. He looked up into Juandissimo's face and saw that he was smirking. Juandissimo raised an eyebrow in a way that made him look smug, "Tell me, are you happy?"

Cupid nodded, "I'd be happier if you let me back up."

"But are you relaxed? Do you have a desire to go back to work?"

"Are you kidding? I'm too tired for that."

Juandissimo's face broke out in a grin. "Good. Just what I wanted." Juandissimo brought him back up to stand on his own two feet.

"Oh, what? Was this some sort of trick?" Cupid asked.

"No. Just trying to get you to relax. You've been overworking yourself lately. I've been worried about you."

Cupid stared at him - one hand on his shoulder, the other still intertwined with his - then his brow furrowed, "I guess I have been a little stressed lately."

"A _little?"_

Cupid frowned, "Yeah. Ok, ok. I get it. My bad." He went on to speak some more, but suddenly a large yawn erupted from his mouth. He released Juandissimo to put one hand to his mouth and stretch his other arm, "Oh, man," Cupid said once his yawn had disappeared, "I didn't realize how tired I was."

"Mm-hm." Juandissimo nodded, suddenly scooping Cupid into his arms and carrying him off to the stairs. As he climbed the pink stairs, Juandissimo smirked, "But that's me, being the _hombre muy apuesto y gallardo _man that I am."

Cupid frowned, "I dunno what you just said, but…gosh, you can be the most annoying man ever, sometimes."

Juandissimo chuckled, "And the other times?"

Cupid sighed through his nose, wrapping both arms around his lover's neck, "At other times…" he sighed through his nose again, "you can be the best husband ever."

Juandissimo grinned, "And that is why you married me, no?"

"I guess."

Juandissimo chuckled once more and pressed a kiss to his lover's temple as he pushed open the door to their bedroom with his shoulder. He gently kicked it shut then made his way over to the bed, gently lowering Cupid on to the mattress once he had reached the God's side of the bed. He brushed a strand of pink hair out of Cupid's eyes, "_Te amo, Cupido_."

Cupid shifted on the mattress, soaking up the softness he had denied for the past few days, "I love you too, Juan."

Juandissimo smiled and began floating back over to the door, but was stopped when Cupid spoke up, "Hey, wait, Juan."

Juandissimo looked over his shoulder as Cupid sat up, "Hm?"

Cupid patted the space on the mattress next to him, "Stay."

Juandissimo considered it. Come to think of it, he had had a few rough nights since Cupid began denying food and sleep. The Spanish fairy shrugged and removed his hat, laying it on the bedside table as he floated back over to the bed; this time on his side. Cupid removed his coat as Juandissimo kicked off his shoes and lifted the blanket, climbing into bed next to his spouse. As Juandissimo settled himself, Cupid rolled over to face him (once he had finished removing his tie), "Hey, Juan?"

"Hm? Yes, my sweet?"

"When we wake up, I'm wearing that shirt." He poked Juandissimo's shoulder blade.

"Oh, really?"

"Yeah. Looks comfy."

Juandissimo laughed. Even through all their years of romance, Cupid still liked to steal Juandissimo's shirts and wear them at random times during the day. He never wore them out though; probably because Juandissimo's shirts were too big for him and made him look strange. Juandissimo thought it made him look kind of cute. Juandissimo scooted closer and pressed a kiss to Cupid's forehead, "Sweet dreams, my darling."

Mission accomplished.

…

**Author's note:**

**Thank God. I was going mad with not being able to write anything.**

**Inspired by the scene in Birthday Bashed, where Juandissimo (wearing Poof as a mask while being disguised as Timmy) dances with Jorgen. The outfit he's wearing in this is the same one he wears in that episode. Looks pretty good on him.**

**I don't know how I feel about how this turned out. But it is kinda cute.**


	37. Stolen

**Of Pink Hair and Spanish Flair**

**I don't own Fairly Odd Parents. Butch Hartman does.**

**WARNING!: This series is about JuandissimoxCupid. Don't like, don't read.**

**Relationship:…It's complicated.**

**Word: Stolen.**

**Another AU for this one, guys. Though this one is even more…uh, 'AU-ish' (is that a word?) then the last one. Seriously, this is probably the strangest thing I've ever written. It's a really stupid idea. But, please, don't let me discourage you. Read on, if you wish.**

…

Juandissimo stared at Cupid straight in the eyes, feeling fearful of him for once. The Spaniard panted, exhausted from the running he had been doing just moments ago. His companion stood behind him, staring at Cupid with wide eyes. Juandissimo's eyes had widened to a point where his fear was evident. His eyes flickered to the barrel of the gun Cupid was pointing at him then back to Cupid's face, "You…You wouldn't…"

Cupid's eyes narrowed even further as he pulled back the hammer on the gun, "Try me."

Juandissimo barely had time to gasp before the trigger was pulled. The gunshot awakened the birds in the nearby trees, making them flee as quickly as possible.

…

"_And this is where we keep the prisoners."_

_Cupid followed his superior through the dark, mucky corridor, glancing either side of him at the men in orange jumpsuits, who scowled at him as he looked through the bars of their cells. Each cell was fairly large and the fronts were vertical bars, making it very easy to see the inside. The only things in the cells (other then the prisoners, of course) were a metallic toilet and a bed of sorts - a long piece of metal attached to the wall by chains on either side, a thin mattress on top and a sorry excuse for a pillow at one end. One man with a scar over his left eye bared his teeth at him and Cupid edged away, sticking close to the man in a uniform that matched his - tight, dark blue trousers with a crisp, dark blue, short-sleeved shirt, a gold badge pinned to the shirt and a blue cap on their heads. His superior pointed out different criminals to him, telling him what they were being convicted for and what they were called. When he stopped him in front of one cell, his colleague gestured to the bars and Cupid peered in. "And this," the guard said, "is one of our little thieves. They call him 'El Bandido'."_

_Cupid raised an eyebrow at him, "'El Bandido'?"_

"_Yup. It's Spanish for 'The Bandit'."_

"_I have stolen nothing!"_

_Cupid was alarmed to hear the man in the cell speak. The voice was coated with a Spanish accent and it sounded irritated. Cupid's colleague rolled his eyes and didn't even look in the cell, "Whatever you say, Magnifico."_

_Cupid looked back to the cell and peered inside, squinting to try and focus his eyes on the only bit of colour in that room. He saw him, sitting there on his cot, dressed in his orange jumpsuit. He had tan skin, black hair (that was strangely neat for a man being kept in this prison) and some facial hair on his chin. He was looking at them irritably, eyes narrowed. Cupid couldn't quite pinpoint their colour. Too dark to tell. Magnifico grunted and looked away from them. Cupid continued to stare until he was ushered away by his colleague. He knew that wasn't the last he'd see of 'El Bandido'._

…

_And he was right. _

_In this prison, two guards were assigned to each corridor. Cupid was assigned one end of the long corridor - right near El Bandido's cell. Cupid didn't know what made him do it but, as he was standing there - back straight, hands behind his back - he had the sudden urge to take a little peek - just a little one - into El Bandido's cell. When Cupid leaned in to look, he found that El Bandido was laying on his cot, hands behind his head. Cupid stared, not being able to see much in the darkness. El Bandido suddenly sat up and looked straight at him. Cupid tensed. The thief stared at him, then looked him up and down, "You're new."_

_Cupid managed to nod, "Yeah…I started yesterday."_

"_Ah. That was you."_

"_Yup."_

_El Bandido grunted. "Well," he spread his arms, "welcome to our humilde morada."_

_Cupid looked away awkwardly, then looked back to him, "Uh…thanks."_

"_I will not ask for your name. I don't think I am allowed to know."_

"_Cupid." Cupid suddenly blurted out, not even thinking. "It's Cupid."_

_El Bandido raised an eyebrow, "That is an interesting name."_

_Cupid shrugged, "So…what's yours? I mean, you obviously weren't born with the name 'El Bandido'?"_

_El Bandido stared at him in uncomfortable silence, then said, "No offence, but that was a very bad pronunciation."_

_Cupid pursed his lips, "Pfft. I'm not here to pronounce Spanish words."_

"_Good, because you are very bad at it."_

_Cupid frowned, clearly offended. "Fine. Don't tell me your name. See if I care." He turned away and crossed his arms like a stroppy child, willing himself to look at the cell opposite El Bandido's, where a green-haired man in an orange jumpsuit sat on the floor. _

"_I did not mean to offend you." _

_Cupid refused to turn back to the man in the cell behind him. _

"_Lo siento - uh, I mean, I'm sorry. Please, turn around so we can continue our conversación."_

_Cupid hesitated. He hadn't been there that long, but already he had found one prisoner that was willing to be nice to him. One that had a weird nickname and denied ever committing a crime. How nice._

"_For God's sake," _

_Cupid jumped and looked back to the green-haired man in the cell opposite them as he crossed his arms, "Just turn around. The guy's trying to talk to ya."_

"_Gracias, Schnozmo." El Bandido called out to the prisoner who had spoken._

"_Anytime, Fernando."_

"_It is Juandissimo - D'oh!" Cupid heard him slap his hands over his mouth._

_Cupid looked over his shoulder at the Spanish prisoner, who stared at him, "Juandissimo? That's your name?"_

_The Spaniard slowly removed his hands and let them fall to his lap. His gaze fell to the floor, "No one calls me that anymore. It is only 'El Bandido' now."_

_There was an almost awkward silence as Cupid stared at him. So, the guy had basically had his own name ripped from him and had a fake one stamped on him, even without his consent. Harsh. "I'll call you that," Cupid said and the maybe-not-thief looked alarmed, "if you want."_

_The man stared at him in disbelief, then nodded, "I…I would like that."_

"_Ugh." Schnozmo said from his cell, suddenly producing a pack of cards from inside his jumpsuit and shuffling them, "I think I'm gonna barf."_

_Cupid looked to the green-haired man in the opposite cell, wondering if he was even allowed to have those cards. Were prisoners allowed to have things from the 'outside'? This was a pretty strict prison, after all. They were lucky that people were allowed to visit them, if only once a month. Cupid didn't particularly want to take away the one thing Schnozmo had from outside the prison. That, and he wasn't sure how to even take them from him. _

_Schnozmo looked up from his shuffling and held out the deck, "Wanna play Go Fish?"_

_Cupid opened his mouth, then shut it and shook his head. Schnozmo shrugged and began laying the cards out on the floor, apparently beginning to play solitaire. Cupid turned back to the maybe-not-thief's cell, only to see the man standing right behind the bars; gripping them with both hands. Cupid yelped and jumped back, trying to ignore Schnozmo as he laughed. He hadn't even heard the man get up from his cot._

"_Lo siento for scaring you." the Spaniard said, brow creased. _

_Cupid stared at him. Before, the Spaniard had been shrouded in darkness and Cupid couldn't see him properly. Now, he could see him quite clearly, for the man was now in the light. The pink-haired guard saw that his hair was longer then he had thought and was tied back in a pony tail. Since Cupid had last seen him, the maybe-not-thief's hair had gotten slightly messier, a few strands loose from the rest. The sleeves on his jumpsuit were rolled up - displaying his rather muscular forearms - and his uniform was slightly unbuttoned to reveal the white shirt underneath. Cupid could see, even with that uniform on, that this man had obviously been to the gym a couple of times before getting busted. When the guard looked back at his face, he stopped. "…Your eyes are purple." Cupid muttered, stating the obvious as he stared at the man's purple irises. He had never seen anything like them. They were…actually kind of pretty and they would have been even more so if they were full of sadness at the lack of freedom. _

"_And your hair is pink." the purple-eyed man said back, looking to Cupid's head of curled pink hair._

_Cupid moved his blue cap slightly over his curl, trying to conceal it as he began feeling uncomfortable. He used to get made fun of for having pink hair and, even though he tried to explain that he had inherited it from his mother's side of the family and that it was indeed natural and not some dye job gone wrong, the bullies continued to laugh at him. _

_The maybe-not-thief stared at it, then muttered, "I like it." Cupid shifted uncomfortably as he felt his cheeks redden. The prisoner pushed a hand through the space between the bars, holding it out. Cupid stared at it. His superiors had warned him not to interact with prisoners much ("They'll mess with your head until you're as crazy as them") and not to touch them if he could help it. "Lil' gits," his superior had said, "sometimes hide things in their sleeves without us knowing. Marty lost a hand the other day from a very well concealed knife. Don't even wanna tell ya where 'e hid it." Cupid looked down at his right hand, imagining it gone. The guard looked back to the prisoner's hand then took hold of it and shook it. His sleeves were rolled up anyway, so how could he possibly keep a knife in there? The prisoner smiled as Cupid shook his hand. The convict's hand was so cold compared to Cupid's and feeling warmth from someone else soothed the prisoner's heart_. _When the prisoner didn't let go of Cupid's hand, the guard seemed alarmed._

"_Don't blame him, Pinkie," Schnozmo's voice sounded from the cell, "the guy's been in the slammer for too long."_

_Cupid raised an eyebrow, "What did you _do _exactly?"_

"_Apparently," Juandissimo Magnifico said with a shrug, "I stole a prized treasure from a museum."_

"…_That's it?"_

"_I also - apparently - killed four men with one bullet."_

_Cupid's eyebrows raised, "How do you even -"_

"_I don't know. They are but rumours because I haven't done any of that stuff."_

_Cupid's brow creased. Should he even be talking to the prisoners like this? Or holding their hands - Wait. _What?

_Cupid looked at their intertwined hands, since they had still not released each other after their handshake. Juandissimo obviously saw Cupid's facial expression because he suddenly took his hand back, "Lo siento. It's just…it's been a while."_

_Cupid suddenly felt a rather negative emotion develop in his gut. If it had 'been a while' (he was guessing that meant holding someone), did that mean his family never visited him? Cupid knew the prisoners were allowed visitors once a month (as stated before, this was a pretty strict place). However, this negative emotion was soothed a little because his heart swelled and his cheeks darkened to a pink that matched his hair._

"_Hey, newbie!"_

_Cupid jumped and turned. The other guard assigned to this corridor called to him, "The boss wants ya!"_

"_Oh, right. Coming!" Cupid called back. He looked to Juandissimo, who was clutching the bars again. Cupid felt guilty about leaving this man (who he found to be rather nice) in a torture chamber made of three walls of bricks and one of bars, but he could do nothing about it. Cupid offered him a little smile before jogging down the hall. _

_By this point, it was rather obvious that Juandissimo enjoyed his company, because the Spanish man ran to the corner that joined one wall of bricks to the one of bars; trying to peer at him for as long as he could. When Juandissimo lost sight of him - unable to look at him due to the places between the bars being too small - he sighed and walked back to his cot, sitting down in a huff._

_Schnozmo let out a sharp chuckle from his place on the floor, "Liked him, did ya?"_

"_He is better then the other guards we have had." Juandissimo said glumly. "He has pink hair."_

"_Yeah, and I have green. Nothing special about green, I guess."_

"_Please, amigo. I have been in this cell for a long time. Green no longer interests me."_

_Schnozmo scoffed, "Two words: charming." Juandissimo chuckled. Schnozmo shrugged, "I wouldn't worry. He'll probably be back soon."_

"_Si. Hopefully…"_

…

_Juandissimo had never moved so quickly as when Cupid returned to his post outside of Juandissimo's cell. The Spanish man grabbed the bars to his cell and looked out at the guard. Cupid stood with his back to him for a few moments and Juandissimo began to worry that their conversation had been a onetime thing. But then Cupid looked down the corridor, checked to see if his colleague was watching, then turned to Juandissimo, who smiled at him, "Hola."_

"_Hi." Cupid replied._

"_What did your boss want?"_

"_Oh, nothing. Don't worry."_

"_You guys are acting like you've known each other all your lives." Schnozmo noted, peering at the two. _

_Cupid ignored him and looked over Juandissimo's shoulder, peering into the darkness. Juandissimo's smile dropped and he too looked over his own shoulder, then looked back to Cupid worriedly, "Something wrong?"_

"_I've seen prisoners with cellmates. How come you don't have one?"_

"_Schnozmo used to be my cellmate. Then we were deemed 'too dangerous' to be together, so we were separated."_

"_Yeah. Moved us across the hall from each other. Pretty stupid move, really." Schnozmo said. "We tried to bust outta here, but some chick one of the cops brought in saw us and started screaming. Now, we've been accused of womanizing. I mean, we _have_ been womanizing, but that was _before _we got put in here." Schnozmo laughed._

_Cupid sensed he was supposed to find that funny, but it only made his heart feel heavy with disappointment. "Oh."_

_Juandissimo obviously sensed his disappointment, since his brow furrowed, "Everything ok?"_

"_Yeah." Cupid turned from him and put his hands behind his back._

"_Cupid?" He heard Juandissimo ask, "Cupid, my sweet, is everything -"_

"_What did you just call me?" Cupid asked, suddenly turning to him in surprise. _

"_Uh…Cupid. I called you Cupid."_

"_You said -"_

"_Cupid. I said Cupid."_

_The subject wasn't brought up again._

…

_When Cupid went back to his post the next day, he returned to find Schnozmo counting loudly, "Three, four, five…"_

_Cupid raised an eyebrow, smirking, "Learning to count, Schnozmo?"_

"_Ten, eleven, twelve - Hey, Pinkie, I'm - fifteen, sixteen, seventeen - counting for him - eighteen, nineteen…"_

_Cupid paused as Schnozmo continued counting. Only then did he realize Schnozmo was looking over Cupid's shoulder, his eyes moving up and down. Cupid turned to Juandissimo's cell, then gasped lightly._

_Holding onto the pipes, that ran over the ceiling of his cell, was Juandissimo. He pulled himself up - gripping the metal pipes tightly - then let himself fall, not once letting go. Juandissimo looked to Cupid while Schnozmo continued to count, "Hola, Cupido. And how is my favourite guard today? Don't mind me."_

"_Are you…working out?"_

"_What? You thought these sexy muscles just _happened? _Pfft. Bodies like this do not just occur over night, mi amigo. How many is that, Schnozmo?"_

"_Almost thirty, buddy. C'mon, you're, like, seventy away from your record and seventy-_one _away from your goal."_

_Juandissimo continued to do pull-ups as he looked to the wall opposite him. Cupid raised an eyebrow, "How did you even get up there?"_

"_I have good legs. I can jump." Juandissimo went still as he looked to him, "I am not that useless."_

"_C'mon, man, don't stop now!" Schnozmo exclaimed. _

_Juandissimo jolted, then began pulling himself back up. "Am I distracting you?" Cupid asked._

"_No, no. You're fine. Keep talking."_

_Cupid knew he shouldn't - as a prison guard - but he couldn't help but let his eyes wander. Juandissimo's legs were visibly strong, kept straight as he pulled himself up and let himself drop. Cupid looked to Juandissimo's arms. Before, he had only glanced at the prisoner's biceps, but now that he was actually _looking at them, _he saw that the man was actually rather muscular; in a way that made Cupid lick his lips as a warmth developed in his chest. His eyes travelled to Juandissimo's face and saw that his eyes were shut in concentration and his brow furrowed as he pulled himself up, sweat glistening on his forehead; sticking his hair to his skin. Cupid licked his lips again, "Wow…that's kinda hot…"_

_Juandissimo suddenly stopped and looked to him, "Did you say something?"_

"_Huh? What? No! I just…thought out loud…"_

"_Heh. You sure did." Schnozmo laughed, making Cupid blush in embarrassment._

…

"_You didn't have to do that, you know."_

_Juandissimo looked at Cupid through his only good eye, since the other one was bruised and swollen shut. It was Cupid's turn to be the one clutching the bars of the cell, since Juandissimo was now sitting on his cot. "He shoved you."_

"_I know that prisoners can be -"_

"_He shoved you and that is not ok with me."_

_Juandissimo was, of course, referring to the incident that had occurred at lunchtime. Now, when meals came 'round, the prisoners were sent to the mess hall; a large room that contained a counter for the food (if the grey slop they received was even considered food) and a few long tables for the prisoners to sit at while they tried to digest the cement that had been put on their plates. Obviously, the prisoners would sometimes get rowdy and start fights. This fight in particular started because of a spot of line-cutting. Cupid had attempted to be brave and stop the fight (he had been working there for two weeks, it was about time he broke up a fight), but it only resulted in him being shoved to the ground, where he had hit his head on one of the seats the prisoners were to sit at once they received their food. It hadn't been a major injury and had only made his sight turn blurry for a few seconds, but it was enough to make Juandissimo snap and - by the time Cupid could think straight - the Spanish man had the other prisoner pinned to the floor, sending hits to his face and only receiving one punch in return: the one that had caused the black eye he now had to suffer with. Cupid had never seen a man look so angry. _

_Cupid crossed his arms, "I can handle myself. It's why _I'm _the guard here."_

"_And I am just the misguided prisoner, si?" Juandissimo said rather sarcastically. _

"_I never said -"_

"_It's ok. I know what you meant."_

"_Eh. Don't mind that other guy, Pinkie." Schnozmo called from his cot, "He's always trying to bust our chops. Jus' a bunch of trouble. Fernando did the right thing."_

_Cupid snorted, "Yeah, picking a fight. Real great."_

_Juandissimo's eyebrows raised, "Perhaps, if we ever swapped lives, you'd see that what I did was correct."_

"_After being convicted for stealing and murder, anything must seem right to you."_

_Juandissimo's eyes widened, then they narrowed dangerously, "I told you, I did _not _do that stuff. Ay, caramba, do none of you guards open your ears?"_

"_Pfft. You were put in here for a reason -"_

"_I was _framed._ By my _brother."

_Cupid fell silent. The only noise was the shuffling of Schnozmo's cards as the green-haired man prepared to play another lonely game of solitaire. Cupid swallowed the lump in his throat as Juandissimo hugged his knees to his chest and turned away._

_The definitely-not-thief didn't speak to him for the rest of the day._

…

"_Hey, uh…"_

_Juandissimo glanced at the guard out of the corner of his eye, frowning. Cupid rubbed the back of his neck nervously, "Look, I just wanna say that…I'm sorry about what I said yesterday…I, uh, didn't know…"_

_Juandissimo looked away from him, the frown only deepening. Cupid brought his hands out from behind his back, and winced as Schnozmo exclaimed, "Hey! He's got grub!"_

_Juandissimo looked up at this, only to see Cupid holding out a roll, "I swiped this from lunch." Cupid said as Juandissimo stared, "Thought you might be hungry."_

_Juandissimo simply stared at him, almost in disbelief. Schnozmo's brow furrowed, "Hey, throw some of that my way!"_

_Cupid looked at him over his shoulder, then broke the roll in two and tossed Schnozmo the second piece. The green-haired man scrambled to pick it up, then immediately took a big bite out of it. As he munched, he smirked, "Two words: I _like _you, Pinkie!"_

_But Cupid practically ignored him and continued to hold the piece of roll out for Juandissimo, who continued to stare. When nothing happened for several more moments, Cupid gave up and set the bread down on the floor of Juandissimo's cell, "I'll just…leave it here, if you're interested…" The guard backed away from the bars and returned to his post._

_Juandissimo didn't move for a few moments, then he gave in and climbed off of his cot, moving slowly over to the bread that had been left for him. Crossing his legs, he sat on the floor, picked up the bread, and began eating. It was only bread, but Juandissimo had never tasted anything better. The slop the prisoners were fed was torture for his gut, but this bread - despite being dry and slightly cold - was an angel's kiss. "…Gracias, Cupido."_

"_Yeah. Sure."_

_It was silent like that for a few more hours, until a bell sounded in the distance. "Dinner time!" Schnozmo exclaimed happily, jumping up from his cot. He ran to the bars of his cell and waited to be released. _

_The prisoners were let out of their cells one-by-one, led in a group by the guard that worked down the other end of the corridor Cupid was assigned to. Cupid was supposed to hang back at the end of the group, making sure there were no fights or anything (after the incident in the mess hall, however, Cupid wasn't feeling so confident). As the group shuffled down the corridor, Cupid sighed. _

"_Something wrong, Cupido?"_

_Cupid jumped and turned, yelping slightly in surprise. Juandissimo stood before him, looking down at him, "Aren't you supposed to be with everyone else?"_

_Juandissimo shrugged, "I'll catch up."_

"_Well…what're you doing here?"_

_Juandissimo shifted, putting his hands behind his back, "Gracias, again, for the food. I will not tell anyone you gave it to me. And I cleaned up any evidence."_

_Cupid nodded slowly. He had seen Juandissimo clean up any crumbs he could find, savouring the food Cupid had delivered to him. The guard stepped back. Although he had been talking to Juandissimo for as long as he had been working there, having the actually-not-criminal in front of him - without any bars - alarmed him slightly. After all, Cupid had seen him take down a man twice his size. The guard gulped as Juandissimo tilted his head, "Everything ok?"_

"_Y-Yeah, Juan. Everything's -"_

"_You called me Juan."_

_Cupid stepped back again and, this time, Juandissimo followed him, "Uh, yeah. What," Cupid stopped when his back hit the wall. He pressed himself against it, arms at his sides, hoping it would swallow him up, "don't you like nicknames?"_

_Juandissimo stopped in front of him, leaning down to him and putting a hand on the wall beside his head, "Love them." He muttered, right before he closed the distance between them._

_Cupid's eyes widened, staring at the Spaniard's shut eyes as he pressed his lips a little harder against Cupid's. The guard couldn't help but feel a mixture of fear and satisfaction. Although this man hadn't stolen anything, nor killed anyone, Cupid had still seen his bad side. Juandissimo was still stronger then him and could probably take him down with one punch. Besides, if this kiss was just the start, what else was he going to do to him? However, the satisfaction was still there for - ever since Cupid had witnessed Juandissimo working out - he had wanted…_something _from him. A kiss, a hug, _anything _to get close to _that _body. _

_Emotions battled in Cupid's gut. Someone was going to catch them. Someone was going to walk down the corridor and see them, shoot Juandissimo down and then fire Cupid. Someone was…they were going to…_

_Oh, to hell with them._

_Cupid wrapped his arms around Juandissimo's neck and pulled him closer, drilling passion in this kiss they were now sharing. Juandissimo's hands went down to Cupid's hips and pulled the guard even closer (if that were possible). The two completely ignored the sounds of rowdy prisoners that echoed down the halls and simply focused on each other; holding each other, since they hadn't been able to all this time. This was their dirty little secret._

_What the others didn't know wouldn't hurt them._

…

_Cupid had a bounce in his step when he returned to his post a few days later. He didn't even stop to take up his position - he went straight up to the bars of Juandissimo's cell, only to find Juandissimo there, waiting for him. The Spanish man grinned when Cupid leaned against the bars. "Hola, my darling."_

_Cupid smiled, "Hi." The guard rested his chin in his hand and gazed at his new lover through the bars as the Spaniard gazed straight back at him. Juandissimo slipped a hand through and Cupid took it, holding onto it like it was a dear treasure. They stayed like that, in silence, for moments._

"_And tonight - on the gay romance channel - we have two men undressing each other with their eyes. Let's watch to see if they actually do anything any time soon."_

_Cupid blushed in embarrassment and Juandissimo frowned, "Shut up, Schnozmo."_

_Schnozmo sorted out his cards, laying them on the floor, "You do realize that if the bozos up in the office find out about this, they're gonna kill ya, right?"_

_Juandissimo's frown deepened, "I won't let them." _

_Schnozmo snorted, "Good luck with that."_

_Juandissimo looked back to Cupid and stared at him, eyes full of emotion, "I won't let them." He repeated, "I'm not leaving you here."_

_Cupid smiled, "Promise?"_

"_Si. Promise."_

"_Ugh. Someone get me a barf bag." Schnozmo muttered._

_Cupid suddenly threw Juandissimo's hand back. The Spaniard was alarmed, "Cupido? Is something wrong, mi ángel?"_

"_Newbie."_

_Juandissimo froze as Cupid turned to his colleague, who had just stepped into the light. Cupid frowned. Even after all this time, they still referred to him as 'newbie'. Probably would until someone else was hired. "Yeah?"_

"_Boss wants to see you."_

_Cupid nodded shakily, then followed his colleague down the hall; looking back at Juandissimo over his shoulder worriedly. Juandissimo obviously sensed this worry because then he called, "Oh, guard. Could you ask your boss if these jumpsuits come in a different colour? Orange isn't really my thing."_

_Cupid giggled behind one hand as his colleague growled angrily._

…

_Cupid kept his head down, trying not to listen to his boss's words._

"…_moving you…no longer in that corridor…the other day, you…Marty saw…keep you away from him…disgusting…"_

_Keep you away from him…_

_You away from him…_

_Away from him…_

_They knew._

…

_When Juandissimo heard footsteps approaching his cell, he jumped up and ran over to the bars, "Cupido, are you ok? What did they -" He stopped, then scowled, "Who're _you?"

_The guard with the black hair and glasses crossed his arms, "Cupid's replacement."_

"_Replacement? They fired him?!" Juandissimo shouted._

"_No. But he's lucky they didn't."_

_Juandissimo's scowl deepened, "Where is he?"_

"_Probably down a couple of floors. Where they keep the tougher ones, like the one that gave you that black eye."_

"_They'll _kill _him!" _

"_Hmph. If _we're _lucky, yeah."_

_Juandissimo's anger burned within him and he had to stop himself from lashing out. He gritted his teeth and gripped the bars tightly, "What did you just s -"_

"_Oh, snap!"_

_Both men looked over at Schnozmo, who held a few cards in his hands. The others were spilled all over the outside of his cell. "Dang. Hey, guard, could ya pick those up for me? I mean, I would, but I can't reach." He pathetically made an attempt to grab a few cards._

_The new guard growled, cursed under his breath, and then stooped down to pick up the fallen cards, "Hey, thanks, man." Schnozmo said. When the guard turned to pick up the ace of spades, Schnozmo threw something to Juandissimo. It spun in the air as it shot over to the actually-not-criminal, who caught it in both hands and then put his hands behind his back. The new guard stood up, the collected cards now in a pile in his hands._

"_I'll just hand these over to the boss, _if you don't mind._" He sneered, thinking he had won, and then made his way down the corridor. _

"_Dang." Schnozmo said loudly, snapping his fingers. When they were sure he was gone, Schnozmo smirked at Juandissimo._

_Juandissimo brought his hands out from behind his back and looked at the card in his hands: the ace of diamonds, and it was covered in black marker. Juandissimo looked through the diagram drawn on the card, then grinned, "Schnozmo, will your wicked mind never cease?"_

_Schnozmo grinned back as Juandissimo looked back down at their new escape plan, cleverly written on the card with a marker Schnozmo had stolen from one of the guards from the mess hall. _

…

"_PRISONERS ESCAPING! PRISONERS ESCAPING!"_

_Cupid looked up from his post as several guards ran by, shouting about the missing prisoners. Cupid raised an eyebrow, then stopped a guard to ask him what was going on. The guard explained hurriedly._

_Juandissimo and Schnozmo's new guard had been taunting Juandissimo from the other side of the bars, when Juandissimo had played along, "You're right, I am useless." Juandissimo shrugged, then held out his hands, "Might as well slap some handcuffs on me now and leave me here to rot." _

_The guard had sneered, prepared to do just that, when Juandissimo had suddenly grabbed his collar and pulled with the most strength he could muster. It had all happened so fast: the cracking sound the guard's head had made when it hit the bars, the thump his body had made when it hit the ground and the jingle the keys made as Juandissimo stole them from the guard's pocket and unlocked his cell, then Schnozmo's. The guard wasn't dead, but he would probably have a bloody headache when he woke up. And then Schnozmo and Juandissimo had ran, and they were still running. _

_Cupid's eyes widened and he ran to the office. Inside, there were several TV screens, each linked to a camera that was set up somewhere in the prison. He skimmed through them, until two familiar figures flashed passed one screen and to another. "Juan…!"_

_And then Cupid - with the method of catching Juandissimo and Schnozmo in mind - ran._

…

Juandissimo kept his eyes tightly shut for a second or two, then he slowly opened them and looked to Cupid, then up at the sky, where the bullet had been launched; for Cupid had bent his arms right before pulling the trigger. Schnozmo let out a breath he hadn't realized he had been holding in. Juandissimo looked to Cupid with wide eyes, "M…Mi amor?"

Cupid lowered his gun and looked away. Schnozmo sighed, "Man, Pinkie, you gave me a heart attack! Two words: never do that again."

"Get out of here."

Both men paused at the guard's words. Here they were, standing on the grass, Schnozmo sitting on the brick wall that separated the prison from a small forest, and Cupid was telling them to go? "Cupid -"

"Get out of here, Juan."

"Don't have to tell me twice!" Schnozmo exclaimed, beginning to climb over, then stopping. No. He was interested. He wanted to know what was going to happen.

Juandissimo frowned at Schnozmo, then stepped toward Cupid, "Cupido, I -"

"You _lied _to me."

Juandissimo shrank back slightly. "I…I never -"

"You lied and you used me." Cupid snapped, hurt and angry.

"No. No, Cupido, never."

"You did. You knew we'd get seen, you knew we'd be separated and you knew you'd get a new guard when I was gone. You knew and you used me." Juandissimo reached out for him, but Cupid slapped his hand away. "You lied to me, Juandissimo."

"No. I never did. I just…Cupido, I cannot stay in this hell for any longer, especially for something I did not do. But, I do love -"

"No, you don't. You never loved me."

"I do!" Juandissimo insisted, stepping forward. The Spaniard stepped forward, "Cupido, please…Come with us."

Cupid looked at him, surprised, and Schnozmo let out a loud, "Huh?"

Juandissimo suddenly looked hopeful, "Si. Us three - Schnozmo, you and I - we could get away from here. You and I, Cupido, we can build a life together, even get a little house, if you want."

Cupid looked away, "…I can't."

Juandissimo's face fell, "What? Of course you can! I'll help you over the wall, if that is what you're scared of."

"I can't, Juan. I can't. I have to stay here."

"But…we love each other, do we not?"

Cupid sighed through his nose, looking away and refusing to look back at the Spaniard, "…I don't know anymore."

Juandissimo's eyes widened and he looked pained and heartbroken, "C…Cupido…"

"Get out of here, Juan." He pointed to the wall, "There's your freedom. Go and take it."

"But I -"

"_Go_."

"The guy's got a gun." Schnozmo said, "And I ain't taking anymore chances." The green-haired man climbed over the wall and they heard him drop on the other side.

Juandissimo stared at Cupid, hurt and distraught. Freedom was only a few feet away, but the love of his life stood before him. Who ever guessed he would find his true love in a prison, let alone that the man was his guard?!

"I have a life here, Juan." Cupid said when Juandissimo didn't move.

"But…you don't belong in a place like this…"

Cupid simply shrugged. Juandissimo felt tears sting the back of his eyes and he took a deep breath in through his nose, straightening himself, "Will I…will I ever see you again?"

Cupid shrugged his shoulders again.

Juandissimo nodded slowly, "N…Not going to talk, hm? That's fine. You…Do I get graced with the chance to kiss you, one last time?"

When the Spaniard began to walk forward, Cupid tilted his head away, facing away from his now ex-lover. Juandissimo stopped himself from attempting to kiss him and simply nodded again, "…Alright. I…I'll just go, then." Juandissimo walked over to the wall and put his hands on the top, preparing to lift himself up. He stopped suddenly and looked back at Cupid, "…Just so you know, mi Cupido…you are the best thing to ever happen to me."

Cupid didn't respond, so Juandissimo sighed and climbed over the wall; disappearing into new freedom and light.

Only after he was gone did Cupid raise his head, the tears glistening as they travelled down his cheeks. He was glad Juandissimo Magnifico hadn't seen him cry.

Solemnly, Cupid walked back to the prison, heart heavy yet broken.

…

By the time he got to the office for the guards, Cupid's tears had dried up and he had explained that Juandissimo had gotten away. The guard moved over to the desk he had been giving a couple of days ago and went to sit down in the purple chair, then stopped when he saw something new on his desk: a bright blue post-it note.

Cupid paused, then peeled it from his desk and looked at the words written in black marker. He gasped lightly.

**See you next Tuesday ~ J. M.**

Juandissimo was wrong. He wasn't innocent. He had stolen something.

_El Bandido le había robado el corazón._

…

**Author's note: **

**Apparently, randomly imagining Cupid dressed as a cop, which then formed the image of Juandissimo as a prisoner, makes this. Seriously, what is this? **

**Don't ask how Schnozmo got involved. I don't even know.**

**And - in case it isn't obvious - yes, they are human in this. It seemed odd to have a God guarding a bunch of fairies. Plus, it was strangely easier to write.**

**I realize this is pretty OOC but - judging by the **_**idea **_**of this thing - I don't think that matters as much. **


	38. Morning

**Of Pink Hair and Spanish Flair**

**I don't own Fairly Odd Parents. Butch Hartman does.**

**WARNING!: This series is about JuandissimoxCupid. Don't like, don't read.**

**Relationship: Lovers.**

**Word: Morning.**

…

Almost as soon as Juandissimo opened his eyes that morning, he rolled over and pressed a kiss to Cupid's cheek. A sort of…'morning tradition', if you will. The only mornings that the immediate kiss on the cheek did not happen were the mornings where Cupid had to get up first, like Valentine's Day for instance, or when they slept at their own respectable houses.

The God had his back to the fairy, so Juandissimo had to prop himself up on his elbow to lean over the God's shoulder. As his lips came away from the skin of Cupid's cheek, Juandissimo smiled and gently nuzzled his ear. The contact made Cupid's eyelids flutter, then his eyes slowly opened. The God turned his head slightly to look at Juandissimo. Any other lover would probably smile, maybe giggle a little, and perhaps press a little kiss to their beloved's lips. Cupid? He frowned and mumbled, "What do _you _want?"

"To get a decent greeting in the morning?" Juandissimo replied almost cheekily.

Cupid grumbled and took hold of the duvet and pulled it over his head, "Go away…Tryin' t' sleep…"

"_Despierta, mi amor. _Come on, you know you have to get up anyway."

"Says who?"

Suddenly, the love heart-shaped alarm clock burst into its usual loud ringing. Cupid jolted in surprise, then both men stared at it. Both males were silent for a second or so, then Juandissimo looked to Cupid with half-lidded eyes, "Timing aside, my point still stands."

Cupid huffed and grumbled something Juandissimo couldn't understand as he threw off the duvet and sat on the edge of the mattress, punching the off button on the annoying alarm clock. If there were ever a time when Cupid and Juandissimo were complete opposites of each other, it would be the mornings. Cupid - before his cup of coffee - was grouchy, rude and barely able to manoeuvre himself down the stairs. Everything had to be _his way _too. Heaven help the person who got in the way of him and his coffee. Juandissimo, however, was pretty much wide awake as soon as his eyes opened and required no such drink or food to wake himself up. The Spanish fairy was very much a cuddler as well and, if there was one thing he wanted to do in the morning, it was to shower his lover with kisses, hugs and love. Anyone with eyes could see the problem here.

Cupid turned his head when he felt someone tap his shoulder, only to see Juandissimo puckering his lips expectantly. Cupid frowned. Once the fairy realized that Cupid hadn't responded, he began to open his eyes…only to see a pillow being thrown at him. It whacked him right in the face, making fall onto his back. After a few seconds of silence, the fairy pulled the pillow from his face, "Charming…"

Juandissimo smiled as he watched Cupid float slowly over to the door - or, at least, where he _thought _the door was. The Spanish fairy chuckled and shot up, taking hold of Cupid's shoulders and pulling him to the left, "The door is _here_, mi amor."

Cupid grumbled something that probably wasn't even English and allowed Juandissimo to steer him out the bedroom door and down the stairs. "Do you want me to carry you or something?"

"No." Cupid replied, pushing him away. When they finally reached the kitchen, Cupid flopped down into his chair and huffed. Juandissimo smiled and got four slices of bread, popping them into the toaster. He turned, just in time to see Cupid slam his forehead down onto the table, "I _hate _mornings…"

"I know."

Monty and Carl floated in, saluting to Cupid, "Morning, boss!"

Cupid's grumbles were muffled by the table. The cherubs looked to Juandissimo, who shrugged with a smile. The toast popped up and Juandissimo collected it, put two slices on each of the two plates, then laid one plate down in front of Cupid. Juandissimo sat down opposite him then gently prodded his shoulder, "Mi amor, you're not falling asleep are you?"

"Yes." Cupid admitted, then raised his head. The God sighed and stood up then floated over to the fridge and opened it. Almost immediately, his eyes narrowed. "Juan."

"Hm?"

Instead of answering verbally, Cupid turned to him, holding a carton of milk. The God turned it upside down and a couple of drops of milk plopped down onto the ground. Juandissimo watched them, then slowly looked back up at Cupid. The pink-haired man was frowning at him, "First of all, what did I tell you about putting empty milk cartons back in the refrigerator?" Juandissimo shrugged his shoulders. "Second of all, you were _supposed _to pick up milk yesterday."

"Was I?" Juandissimo asked, only to see Cupid's eyes narrow dangerously, "I mean, of course I was! And…I forgot."

"Why?"

"Got distracted."

"By what?"

"…Work."

Cupid's frown deepened, "So, you got distracted by girls."

"Hm? I didn't say that."

Cupid put the carton down so he could cross his arms, "Your job is to massage people, namely girls. You're basically saying you got distracted by girls."

Juandissimo stared for a second, thinking about this, then bit his lip, "Well, that's not what I meant to imply. Besides," he smirked that _smirk _of his, "how do you know I was not distracted by your beauty?"

"Oh, brother…" Monty muttered as he occupied himself with the letters the mailman had left in Cupid's mailbox this morning. None of them were for Cupid though. Cupid was a God, so Hermes delivered his mail and would never put anything in Cupid's mailbox; he always made sure to deliver straight to Cupid himself. Any letters that were put into Cupid's mailbox were to the cherubs or, occasionally, Juandissimo (since _everyone _knew he would be at Cupid's house rather then his own).

Cupid obviously wasn't pleased with the attempt to get out of trouble and floated over to Juandissimo, pushing the empty carton of milk in to his face, "Milk. Go. Get. Now."

"Can I at least finish _mi tostada_?" Juandissimo asked as he picked up a slice and bit into it, but this only made Cupid frown more.

The God all but slammed the carton onto the table and floated over to his seat, "Fine. I'll just suffer a coffee-less morning because my so-called '_loving_' boyfriend decided to look at his own reflection rather then fulfilling my request."

"I wasn't looking at my -"

"You were. We all know it."

"Well, why can't you go and get it?" Juandissimo said, "You're the one who wants it."

Monty tapped Juandissimo's shoulder and the fairy turned to him, "You know, we have a saying where we come from." The cherub said, "It's: 'Stop digging the hole if you're already too deep. Otherwise, you'll never get out'…That's a fancy way of saying: 'Stop talking and go get the milk. You're upsetting the boss'."

"You know," Cupid spoke up loudly, "I bet _Cosmo _would go and get me milk if I asked him to."

Juandissimo immediately frowned, "That's only because _él es tan crédulo e ingenuo._"

"I dunno what any of that means, but my point still stands. In fact, maybe I should just bring him here and -"

Juandissimo stood up, sighing lightly. He always knew Cupid would use his jealousy - sorry, _not jealousy_ - against him one of these days. After all, he wouldn't be able to enjoy his breakfast with his rival in love floating right there, fulfilling the request that Juandissimo should've fulfilled when Cupid had asked him to. "Semi-skimmed?"

Cupid waved a hand at him, "If it's there."

With a wave of his wand, Juandissimo was gone. Cupid sighed then said, eyes closed, "I love it when he does things for me."

Monty and Carl chuckled to themselves quietly. "Better then us, sir."

After a few minutes of Cupid's huffing, sighing and the annoying finger tapping, Juandissimo poofed back into the room, now holding a tall, white carton with a cartoon cow on the side. He placed it in front of Cupid, "There. Happy now?"

"Ecstatic." Cupid muttered dryly. "What took you so long? Found a mirror on the way?"

Juandissimo frowned. Cupid occupied himself with making his own coffee as Juandissimo spoke, "You know, you could've just poofed up some _leche._"

Cupid frowned at him and Juandissimo cleared his throat uncomfortably, "I hope you realize I just went out in my underwear for you." The fairy said irritably, for he was only dressed in a pair of purple boxers and a white sleeveless shirt.

"Oh, please. You would've done it anyway."

Juandissimo groaned slightly and ran a hand through his hair. For a guy who was very loving in the morning, it was slightly difficult to put up with Cupid's foul moods, especially when Cupid started ordering him around like he was just another one of the God's servants. Juandissimo paused when he felt Cupid tap his shoulder. He waited for another command, then looked at his lover. Cupid indicated for him to come closer with a curl of his finger and Juandissimo did just that. When Juandissimo got close enough, Cupid pressed a kiss to his lips. He pulled back perfectly and stared at Juandissimo for a second, then the Spaniard smiled, "Good to see you are yourself again, mi amor."

Cupid shrugged and sipped his coffee. The cherubs got up from the table and smiled at their boss, "Well, we'll see ya at work, boss."

Cupid waved at them in silence. Once they were gone, Cupid looked to the Spaniard and raised an eyebrow, "What're you smirking about?"

"Nothing." Juandissimo said, leaning down and planting another kiss on Cupid's cheek. The fairy pushed a plate of toast closer to the God, who frowned.

"I wanted pancakes."

"Well, now you have toast."

Cupid's frown deepened in obvious disappointment, but nevertheless pulled the tub of butter nearer to him and picked up a knife to spread it with. Juandissimo smiled at him then took his wand out (Cupid didn't want to know where he had put it) and gave it a twirl. In a puff of smoke, his normal white shirt and black trousers and shoes appeared on his body, but his hair remained untied. Cupid had learned, over time, that Juandissimo didn't often use magic to tie his hair - he preferred to do it the old-fashioned way. Cupid watched as Juandissimo poofed up a brush and went to work on his hair. The God picked up the wand Juandissimo had put on the table and poofed up a pink, feathered pen and a little, square piece of paper. Juandissimo looked at him out of the corner of his eye, "What're you up to?"

"Nothing." Cupid replied, scribbling something down on the paper, "Just minding my own business." Once he stopped writing, Cupid leaned up and took the brush from Juandissimo.

"Hey -"

"C'mere." Juandissimo raised an eyebrow and Cupid rolled his eyes, "I wanna tie your hair for you."

"I can do it. I've been doing it for years now."

"Well, I wanna do it."

Juandissimo sighed through his nose, took the free chair and twirled it around, then sat down. He relaxed as Cupid brushed his hair, choosing instead to occupy himself by poofing up a mini sink. While Juandissimo brushed his teeth in the little sink, Cupid smirked to himself and tied his boyfriend's hair. "There you go."

Juandissimo spat into the portable sink and put a hand behind his head, "…You _braided _it?"

"Yup."

"And when did you learn to do _that?_"

"When I was a kid." When Juandissimo looked at him in confusion (poofing away the sink as he did so), Cupid frowned and looked away, "I spent a lot of time with girls, ok?"

"Ah." Juandissimo stood up, nodding with understanding, "Well, _gracias por tu trabajo."_

"I dunno what that means, but you're welcome, I guess. Now, get going."

Juandissimo sent him one of those _grins _of his, "Not trying to get rid of me, are you, Cupido?"

Cupid shrugged, "Maybe."

Juandissimo chuckled and leaned down to deliver a loving kiss to Cupid's lips. Once satisfied, Juandissimo pulled back and pressed his forehead to Cupid's, "I will see you when I get home, hm?"

"Uh-huh."

Juandissimo caressed the God's cheek, "Try not to get too lonely without me."

"I'll live through the pain." came the sarcastic reply.

The Spaniard let out another chuckle and picked up his wand, giving it a little twirl. The fairy disappeared in a puff of smoke, leaving the word 'Work!' behind in white letters.

Cupid stared as wisps of purple smoke floated around the room, then picked up his cup of coffee, "Yeah, _he's the smart one._" He muttered in to the liquid, then took a sip. _"Sucker."_

…

The first thing Juandissimo noticed upon arriving at the spa was that it was a nice day (nice days meant more customers). The second thing he noticed was the group of fellow employees giggling at him. He raised an eyebrow in confusion. Maybe they had just noticed his new hairstyle and had found it funny. He shrugged his shoulders - uncaring about their opinions - and floated over to the room where he was to massage people. On the way, he passed the reception desk, and the teal-haired fairy behind the desk stopped him, "_Love _the new hairstyle, Juan."

"Hm?" The Spaniard stopped and turned to her. "Ah. Gracias. Cupido did it for me."

"Obviously."

"What do you mean?" Juandissimo asked, "What, you don't think I can braid my hair by myself?"

"Oh, it's not that. It's…Juan, have you seen what he's done to your hair?"

"…What?"

Instead of answering, the lady poofed up a circular mirror and held it up. Juandissimo leaned closer and -

"_My hair!" _The male fairy exclaimed dramatically, gripping his hair in both fists. "_¡Por el amor de Dios! My hair!" _

"What? You mean you haven't noticed? Don't tell me - you lasted _this long _without looking at yourself in the mirror?" The receptionist asked, absentmindedly filing her nails. "Wow. Must be a new record for you."

Juandissimo was too occupied with looking at his own reflection, tilting his head at different angles. He stared in horror at his hair, which was now as pink and girly as his boyfriend's. "Oh, Cupido…how could you _do this to me…?_"

"Is that _paper _in your hair?"

Juandissimo looked to the receptionist as she reached over and pulled a folded piece of paper - the one Cupid had been writing on earlier that morning - from the pink, love heart-covered scrunchie that was wrapped around the end of the braid; keeping it from falling apart. She unfolded it, then read aloud: _"'Juan, next time pick up groceries when I tell you to.' _Aw, look, it's signed with _three kisses._" She mock-cooed as she handed him the note.

He snatched it from her, read it over, then frowned heavily. The receptionist had to keep from laughing, "Cupid?"

"Cupid." Juandissimo grumbled as he went to his post, scrunching the note up in one fist.

…

**Author's note:**

***Clears throat* Wow, it's, uh, it's been awhile, huh?…Heh. Ahem. Really sorry about that.**

**I have my reasons: 1) at the start of this 'break', it was exam week at my school, so I was studying for that. 2) ye old writer's block struck me and 3) I have recently been writing a new novel (I say 'new' - I've been writing novels for ages. Haven't finished one yet *Sighs*) based on Greek Mythology. The Gods are pretty similar to their FOP versions (bear in mind their FOP versions are based off of these versions. Some things were changed - like Ares swearing in every single sentence he says and Heph cutting off his own right leg - due to, you know, FOP being a kid's show. Zeus, Artemis, Dionysus, Poseidon and Eros/Cupid were made completely from scratch, though). So, yes. I'm working on that quite a bit and - considering it's about Ares and Hephaestus learning to like each other (the other Gods - pretty much - only appear in flashbacks and a hallucination Heph has, considering Heph and Ares aren't on Mount Olympus in the book, although the others are mentioned **_**very frequently; **_**given that it **_**is**_** Heph and Ares) **_**and **_**Greek Mythology is my passion - you can imagine how much fun I'm having writing it. **

**I have been working on some fics, though: a FOP fic (that I'm not sure whether I'll actually publish or not) and a Phineas and Ferb fic (set in the 2****nd**** Dimension from the movie). I shall also - hopefully - be bringing out a good ol' Greek Mythology fic (based off a scene from the novel). **

**Given all this, I don't know when the next update will be, nor will I know how often I'll even be on the site (I haven't been on it an awful lot, only a few chunks of time every so often), so bear with me. A couple of days ago, I was unable to write **_**anything **_**- fanfics or original work - due to so much writer's block. Believe me, I feel terrible about making you guys wait for so long.**

**So, um…Yeah. Ahem. I need to get used to writing about these guys again…**


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